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| | Dads..do you miss your children ?Page 7 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | | Good video and very true. I moved from oregon to washington at one point. Someone made a clerical error when inputting my account into the system and stated that I owed 6000.00 instead of 600.00. At the time washington was allowed to take all but 50.00 of each check. This law was made for weekly paid employees. I wass paid monthly. For 4 mos they took all but my 50.00. I never got reimbursed, and they never paid the monies to her. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/16/2007 6:39:18 PM | lil sweat heart, how do you deal with that? I am going through the same thing. At first he saw my son but afterwards he gave everything up because the judge ruled supervised access and because of his girlfriend violent behavior. Me too his girlfriend has caused alot of problems, harrassment, stalking, violence.etc.
My son is now 3 and asking alot of questions, making pictures of mommy, daddy and himself. My son is mixed and he even drew himself brown and daddy and me yellow. I feel torn because, I don't know how to explain that daddy decided that he didn't want to visit because it has to be supervised. Of course I would never tell him that. My son also asks if I have pictures, telling me he misses him, pretending to call him. . I think it is best that he doesn't come around anymore because when he did, it was so stressfull, and then afterwards his girlfriend would harrass me for a month after that. I always acknowledge my sons feeings, telling him I miss him too, but daddy has his house and we have ours. Anyone have any suggestions? Any books that I could read that would help me how to explain this to a 3 year old.
Thanks. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:34:08 PM | i have not seen my oldest daughter in over 8 yrs and that was by only luck i found out about her high school gradusation... .i only saw her 3-4 times since age 10 to age 18..
the last i knew she graduated from ku with honors and moved ??? who knows where?? so from the time of her being age 10, when i divorced her mom, to now where she is over 27 yrs old now. .i have given up on her,100%..i can not get ahold of her mom or my daughter. i assume she is dead..
i have taken the facts..i guess she hates me more than the counslers ever said would happen.. as they told me.. she will get her brain cell back one day..and if you have problems. .we are here to help you. .
RIGHT>>>> | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/26/2009 10:36:35 PM | minncabin, I don't know if you are still reading this thread or not, but why couldn't you see your daughter?
I have an open question to anyone, how can either parent legally keep the child away from the other parent? I understand csaes where the non-custodial parent is a danger to the child, but what about in cases where that isn't the case? | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/27/2009 1:04:56 AM | i have strong feelings about this, i want to be in my childs life so much that my daughter lives with me, ababy doesnt belong to a mother but familys ><
BUT if as a parent you endanger your childs life then these mums have every right to protect there children, AS do fathers if the tables turned. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/27/2009 2:24:53 AM |
minncabin, I don't know if you are still reading this thread or not, but why couldn't you see your daughter?
I have an open question to anyone, how can either parent legally keep the child away from the other parent? I understand csaes where the non-custodial parent is a danger to the child, but what about in cases where that isn't the case?
I might be way off base here, but I can tell you what probably happened. His balked at his ex "controlling him" with custody issues and thought it would be just easier to walk away and blame the ex... with minimal or no thought as to how it would affect his child.
No responsibility, no blame, no work; and the bonus of getting to play victim! | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/27/2009 12:32:47 PM | | Just because some one has an affair does not mean that they are an unfit parent. I am speaking from experience (as being the one cheated on). While I cannot think what I would do if my ex kept my son from me I do believe there will be a point in time when that child is going to want to know of and about his/her fahter. You be sure that you continue to do all that you can to see your child... at least you know that you have given it all that you can all this time and you can turn to your child and one day say that you have never given up. Best wishes! | |
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Tomau
| | Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 158 | |
| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/27/2009 8:54:14 PM | | I think fathers should seevthem unless like mine who yells at me and calls me names like a fat tramp in front of him. | |
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onekjd
| | Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 159 | |
| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:53:53 AM | | i am one of the kucky ones my kids spend more time with me then they do with there mother. when we split up it was agreed that they would decide who they wanted to see. and stay with. the only argument we have is me trying to get them to spend more time with there mother.. but i do agree expartners that use the kids as weapons to hurt the other person are nothing short of fcking stupid eventualy the kids grow up and realise who is the wrong party this can only cause badness in the childs thinking. the courts need to take a stronger line on this and any woman who stops the father from seeing there kids without good reason should lose custurdy at a minimum death is more the just outcome | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/28/2009 12:32:49 PM | I pay $2,300 a month to be with my kid. After she'd had several affairs and I filed for divorce, she got a hag of a lawyer who was pleading to let her take my boy to Texas to live with her parents due to her health not allowing her to work. I pay to be with my boy. It's not his fault. She got a job the day after the trial and now my boy spends more time with me than with her. This weekend will make 18 of the last 20.
Much of that money is alimony for 3 years. 1yr, 4 mo, 2 days to go......not that I'm counting! I really am not upset that I'm living somewhat in financial limbo for 3 years to keep my boy in my life. It's well worth it.
Not that I'm not looking forward to this damned alimony ending.
BTW, she called me today and needs $200 extra this month to put him in summer camp. I don't even **** anymore, I just pay. If I didn't, he would suffer by not going to camp. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/28/2009 12:39:03 PM | It is awful that a spouse can cheat and file for divorce, and the other has to pay alimony. How did it ever come to this?
You sound like an amazing dad. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/28/2009 9:18:20 PM | | not only do i see my son ever week i see my 4 grand childern too and his mom's not allowed to step foot on the property with out going to jail.why do you even try to see his father if he shows that much disrespect to you then you dont need that in your life. your an attractive women move on theres plenty of single guys out there find you a good one and forget the fool cause if you dont your going to go nuts. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:28:53 PM | My situations the total opposite.. my sons dad left before xmas, he doenst pay anything towards him - CSA have apparently told him to pay five pounds a week but I haven`t recieved or heard anything. I bend over backwards to try and get him to spend more time with his son, but all he`s bothered about is working and earning money for himself.. he rang me on my sons birthday bragging he had been paid £400 and never offered me anything towards our son, and in general has never really taken an interest, I have told him he can come through and see him, he says he`ll get back to me, I even offered to get the bus through with my son so he could see him (its 45mins on a bus) so he could see his son over his birthday and he was busy working.. said he would get back to me about coming to see him and hasn`t..
All I want from him is to give my son the best of both worlds, but I think his ego gets in the way off being a proper dad (and all the dollar signs).. So many people have asked why I try so hard to keep him involved but Im not doing it for him Im doing it for my son.
It sucks because so many guys out there don`t get the chance to be good dads, and the people that have the chance for no reason just dont bother. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:33:57 PM |
but all he`s bothered about is working and earning money for himself..
How old is he? You're only 23, so he's probably not to much older, right? Did he want to have a child with you? Did he say he wanted to settle down, get married, and work to support a family, before you had your son? | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 5/29/2009 1:46:53 PM | There's no doubt that are some crappy dads out there and they make it hard for the rest of us trying to do the right thing.
My ex girlfriend crossed state lines while she was pregnant without bothering to tell me or let me know, despite the fact I was never abusive, just a little lost on how to handle the situation. I already had custody of my oldest daughter and was struggling to raise her on my own without the help of her mother so it was difficult for me to imagine another child at that point in time.
However, we have a responsibility to our children, as men, and I knew I would never be able took myself in the mirror again if I didn't do the right thing. I tracked her down through the internet, got a lawyer, and drug her kicking and screaming into court. The financial costs were enormous as I knew they would be. I struggle but I did gain access to my daughter. And to say I was angry would have been an understatement but I realized it wouldn't help my daughter so I made peace with mom.
She's a great mother and since then we have been able to work alot of the issues and make the situation work as co parents. I know she regrets what she did because she's stated as much.
She plans on moving back to the area next year (I can't wait!) and I'll have full access to my daughter. I'm not one who always forgives easily but I would say make peace with the other if possible because often it will save you alot of money and you'll get to see your kids that much more. If that doesn't work, write down everything that goes on, save your money and go to court with it. Attrition might make the other think twice about playing games if they know you're serious. I have seen a couple of my friends play this scenario out too and they have benefited by have better relationships with the ex's and more access to their kids.
Peace through strength. As father we have to be advocates for ourselves and for our kids because they deserve the best of all worlds.
Plus, there are many Father's Rights groups out there. Google them. If you don't have access to your kids because of a bitter Ex, contact them and I'm sure they can steer you in the right direction. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 6/1/2009 3:18:22 AM | | he`s younger than me, hes 21.. no my son wasnt planned, he wanted kids, marrige etc in the future. He wanted to provide for us but never did when we were together or now, its making things really crap anfd if he does grow up n realise hes messed up, he`s put us through too much for me to get back with him. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 12/4/2010 1:06:08 AM | | first of all we both devaloped a drug habbit speed ice and she used to go into these crazy fits of anger.then she tryed to leave me and blame me for every thing in the world that was wrong acused me of cheating told me to leave rong police got a restraining order on me becouse i was mad that she came and robbed me wile i was asleep.then she rang police and sed i wqas going to school with a gun to get my kids so the police mobed me like i was chopper reed i had a little speed on me i got arested foe 2 counts of thratening to kill willfal damage my dad had a old rifal his dad owend and they got me for having wepon that was in shed has bean foer year we dont have bullets.then started making up things like i was crazy and on drugs the funny thing was so was she but she just denyed it its bin6 months iv seen my kids 10 times police are wankers with a badge they wont help so i ended up hanging my self in frount of her but she sed i was a weak fuk and i wouldent do it so i did and i was dead for 3 or 4 minuts then i went to hospital she had me locked is sike ward took 2 weeks for them to see i was normal but its now near christmas and she sez ill be lucky to have them for 2 hours.she wont let my perants have them ether sez its not safe im running out of the mental energy to go on they love me like the world and cant understand why thay cant come to my house.after all this shit i still love her and she hates me talk about a fuked life...that ant the half of it but yehh yhsts my life | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 12/12/2010 8:33:24 PM | Hey pavara_1, good for you. It's a shame we take so much crap, because of a few deadbeats.
I, without a doubt miss my kids so bad, it physically hurts. What makes it even harder is now that she is on better terms with her first husband, his real father has been taking more of an interest, with my stepson. I raised him from the time he was 2 1/2 years old when I met his mother, my ex-wife. We had 2 children together as well. She is bi-polar II, and didn't tell me until a year after we were married. Still, I believed that if two people were committed to each other, and their children, and they loved each other, they could make it work. So not only do I miss them, I am also scared to death for their safety. She has pulled them out of school to home-school them, Isolating them further from their friends at school. She refuses to admit that she has a problem, and refuses to get treatment. I never know how she will react, when I come to visit. She was a completely different person when I first met her. Now she is just paranoid and bitter. In the past three years, she has called the cops on me, thrown me out of the house, begged me to move back in, cracked into my computer and planted child porn on it, then took it to the police.She was continuously snooping around trying to find anything she could hold over me, and always accused me of cheating on her. Well, I actually walked in on her, screwing one of my former best friends! All through that, I stayed with her, for the sake of my children. Her first ex-husband, has expressed to me, the reason that he is coming around more, is that he has seen her becoming more unstable, and now that we are divorced, he also fears for his son's safety. I have seen first hand how she illegally denied him his visitation. I also informed him of this, which he said he knew about, but was thankful I told him. He and I have documented all of her episodes through the years, and we are continuing this until we can get a lawyer to take our case, and have DHR order her to take another psychiatric evaluation. My stepson has told me in 2 years, he wants to move in with his dad, full time. Later he said said he was going to stay, to protect his younger siblings. No child should be put through this. She, on the other hand, has tried to get me to relinquish parental rights, but then changes her mind! I am honestly scared I am going to one day get a phone call, telling me my kids have been hurt. She has lost her temper, and hurt the children, then blamed it on me, to her mother, who is a venomous, bitter busy body as well. Now I m no saint, I have had my own problems, often letting her push my buttons until I could not control my anger, and I also began using and abusing drugs, just to get through the day with her. When she found out, she and her mother, came to my parents house, and claimed I was a huge drug addict who had also stolen a computer from her friends house. They wanted my own father to bring me to their house, where they could confront me, and force me to go to treatment. My father told me about this on the way to their house, and I immediately called my cousin who is also a lawyer. He Instructed me to inform them that I was not to talk to them, and have my father inform them that they were trespassing on his property, and they were to leave imminently. She then came unglued , and began to spew profanity after profanity at me and my family. The last time she wanted to reconcile, I had written some conditions for her which included her going to see a psychiatrist, and begin treating her hypo-mania, and agreeing to go to see a marriage counselor with me. She came unglued again, and told me to leave. 1 week later, she filled for divorce. She then tried to get me to sign the papers, which would have severely limited my visitation with my children, as well as wanting me to agree to supervised visitation, once a month. All through this she tried to turn the children against me , and tried every dirty trick in the book, to blackmail me into signing the divorce papers. I have tried to make their visit, as normal as possible. I have dated 2 women since our divorce, and my children were never introduced to them, which among other things, caused me to end the relationships. So far she has complied with the visitation orders, since I took her back to court again, for violation of my parental rights. I keep a journal, of everything since the divorce, so that when the children get older, they can see my side of the story. I just took them back tonight, and called to tell them goodnight, and I miss them so much. I am scared for the future, and angry that I have been cheated out of 80% of their lives. I am just trying to provide for them as best as I can, and involving them in as much of my life as I can, and trying to be the best Dad I can for them. The laws against fathers are so skewed against fathers, that it makes me sick. The only reason I stayed with her as long as I did, was I was scared of losing them. So do I miss them? Yes, with all my heart. :-( | |
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