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| Meeting your son on second date....two guys...have...
Posted: 7/23/2005 8:59:27 AM | Canadian Hottie - cheers to your posts - sidebar ...Fire/EMS? .. I used to own a ambulance Co ..need and equip? lol) mail me ;)
Being a single father ... same thing .. I have custody with my daughter ... which sometimes means lacking in the social life ... and thats OK.
There is NO reason my daughter needs to see the women I date ... people comming in and out of her life. Wht values is that going to teach her? She sees that her Dad has friends YES ...but even that .. I wait till I KNOW they are good friends and feel that they will be in my life for a long time. That way she sees her Dad having friends .. and strong relationships .. people with meaning comming into our lives and staying in out lives .. and she sees the stability.
Priorities... I can always date .. but I will never have another Princess like her and I will never have a second change to help guide her into being a woman. Being a parent is sacrafice, and if that means I have to cut back on dating for her sake .. then so be it ...because there is NOTHING more important than her | |
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| Meeting your son on second date....two guys...have...
Posted: 7/23/2005 10:17:53 AM | I have never introduced my kids to dates. IMO I think children are very impressionable-at a very early age-yes 3!
I would hate to see my kids thinking this is the way we treat people--let them come in and out of life and then move on.
When I meet someone, and it works, then they will meet my kids.
Unitl then-I date when they are at their dads!!
 Here's to hoping you all find the 'right one'! | |
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| Meeting your son on second date....two guys...have...
Posted: 7/23/2005 10:50:51 PM | I agree with most of the posts here that it is best to make sure the person if a person I want to be in my life before I introduce them to my daughter.
My daughter's dad did not have the same perspective on this matter. He walked out on me and my daughter in like Feb. and by July he was living with another woman. Please keep in mind that he kept telling me and his daughter that he wanted to try and make things work to keep our family together. He wanted his daughter to come stay with him in July "04 for a week and I simply asked where he would be staying since I did not know he was actually living with the woman - he finally fessed up and I told him that it was a smack in my face since we were still married and that my daughter didn't need to be put in that awkward position. He had her there anyway and so I had to deal with the fact of knowing that my daughter was being forced to see her dad with another woman and yet was still married to "mom". It was on that visit that I had to be the adult and tell my daughter that as long as she wanted it - it was ok for her to be friends with daddy's new girlfriend and her son and she could talk to me about anything that had to do with them as well. Oh and btw - he has been in and out of this woman's home and in and on again off again relationship with her for a year and my daughter is more confused than what she ever needed to be at 8 yrs. old.Why? Because "her dad had needs and thought he was happy."
Anyways - my point - I have chosen my daughter's love and respect above my needs for any man. I do date occasionally and my daughter knows it - but she has never been forced to meet them and I do this out of "respect" for her feelings and her safety. I don't see how ones needs could ever amount to being more important than the safety and well-being of their child/children. | |
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| Meeting your son on second date....two guys...have...
Posted: 7/24/2005 12:30:23 PM | | Ive been Single for 9 years now. My boy wasnt even 3 when I left home. He can tell me things from his early childhood. At 2 and 3. He remembers faces and people ive been with. While dating, I have no problem with having a woman meet my son. Its better to wait a few dates, then see if the woman talks about him. If she does, she must be interested. If you havent heard a word about how your kids are, probably someone that doesnt respect that persons will to love that child. Never, Ever, let a person into your home after a couple of dates to meet your kids. Never let anyone stay in your bed while they sleep in the next room. Dont make out on the couch while you think theyre asleep. Kids do worry when you have company, they wake up, they get a drink. You then feel like shit cause you have to explain that, grownups kiss like that. Either get a sitter for the night, or Include the kids on a date. Hold hands, a few nice gestures, and make sure they know that the child is there also. Then, instead of concetrating on if youre getting laid tonight, concetrate on if you found someone for the long hall. I made the mistake of inroducing my son to a woman i knew for just a few weeks. She left her family and kids and lives 2000 miles away. She didnt even aknowlege him. Never said hi, never asked if he needed anything to eat or drink so-on. Shes gone now for that reason alone. Wheres the women that play board games and go to festivals with their kids? If you date me, gotta accept my boy. Cause, he likes to do things too. Later all | |
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