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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > no sex/kiss on the first date      Home login  
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 DumbeBlonde
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 26
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no sex/kiss on the first datePage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
There you go, Opie, Teddy will wait for ya! Problem sorted.
 1osubuckeye
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 27
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 8:29:59 AM
Just have sex with them on the first date. After that they will decide if there is any love interest without the sexual tension all the time which is annoying.
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 28
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 9:30:03 AM
I would never press for sex on the first date. That said, no kiss on the first date = not interested in me, there won't be a second.
 rik071
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 29
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 10:19:02 AM
As a general rule if there isn't a kiss on the first date, I take it as we didn't get a connection, and there is nothing there.
On the second date I don't really expect much more, maybe a little heavier kissing.
On the third date I am starting to expect sex, and although it may not be the last date, I start to question if it is worth pursuing, and without sex soon it will end.
Sex does not make a relationship, but it is an important part, not just in the beginning but through out the entire relationship.
I personally have always had sex by the 3rd date, but if you feel strong about this you should stick with it, but be honest about it during the first date or before. I really believe honesty from the begining is always best, this makes for a few first dates only that waynobodys time is waisted, and nobody gets hurt.
Reality of your situation is most men and women don't feel this way and it could be difficult for you to find someone willing to wait that long.
 Theophannia
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 30
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 12:51:59 PM
Where did this two years no sex thing come in? She said her last bf waited that long but her rule is to wait a few months, which I assume in woman speak is an estimation, and not a set rule, but rather to wait it out until she KNOWS he's not playing her. Perhaps I assumed too much.

My take in the issue is that two months CAN DEFINATELY be pushing it on no sex or intimacy thing, and no kiss by at least date two is throw back to pond.

However waiting for sex until past a a few dates, and by a few I don't mean by date 3, is just generally not being a slut.

The way I read OPs post was that she was making the point to WAIT before jumping in the bedroom.

On that note, I ammend my previous statement. NO MAN is going to wait two months for you to show a sexual interest. Why? How important is chemistry for you OP? I can guess it is just as important for men. And like a previous poster said, sexual compatability is a big deal in long term. I would say kiss by date 3 at MOST depending on circumstances, if no kiss, throw fish back. And if you feel the time is right, then fine, you can hit the bedroom. If not then don't. But certainly don't make a rule about it, and don't hand out sex like candy.
 Theophannia
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 31
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 12:58:56 PM

I personally have always had sex by the 3rd date


Exactly why I wait to have sex. Lets see judging by the average male date rate, I would think that that adds up to alot of sex by 40, in other words, a LOT of sexual partners before me. And I don't enjoy chewing on a toy that every pup in the neighborhood and then some had before me.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 32
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 1:14:15 PM

Women have sex to get love. Men give love to get sex.

That is almost the way I see it, women need to feel love to make love and men need to make love to feel love.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 33
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 2:18:29 PM
Lets see judging by the average male date rate, I would think that that adds up to alot of sex by 40, in other words, a LOT of sexual partners before me.

Not necessarily. I seem to always end up having sex by date 2 and since I generally end up in relationships with women I've slept with, my partner count isn't all that high. If it took longer than that, nothing ever went anywhere.

Not every date will turn into a second date, kiss or no kiss.

I think it's safe to say that very few first dates will turn into second dates unless someone isn't very decisive.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 34
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 5:58:00 PM

And I don't enjoy chewing on a toy that every pup in the neighborhood and then some had before me.


Contrary to the statement above, what I have noticed is that the more experienced the guy, the more women go after him.

Also the more experience the guy, the better he is in bed. And I mean this not in terms of the number of partners, but into how he has moved from defining sex as a number games, to defining sex as fulfilling one woman's sexual desires for a long time.
 juju62861
Joined: 1/28/2011
Msg: 35
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 8:11:13 PM
Sooo am I screwed if I'm a 19 year old male and want to wait until I am married to have sex? :/ I mean I will do other stuff once I get to know the girl, but I have what's called self control and think with my head above the waist...
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 36
No sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:09:17 PM
I agree with 'Yew4....'...It's a matter of being comfortable and timing...
If a couple finds the right chemistry...Go For It...The sky's the limit..!!
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 37
No sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:25:18 PM
If I ain't kissing on the first date, I'm not into him...or vice versa, no other reason. I can respect someone making a decision regarding sex but a kiss is taking it a little too far in my opinion.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 38
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:37:23 PM

Sooo am I screwed if I'm a 19 year old male and want to wait until I am married to have sex? :/ I mean I will do other stuff once I get to know the girl, but I have what's called self control and think with my head above the waist...
It's not a matter of people not thinking with the heads above their waists....it's about them having different values than you. Personally, I would NEVER marry someone I hadn't had sex with. As far as I'm concerned, I don't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first to make sure they're a good fit.... and they're only going on my feet. If you want to wait till marriage, then you just have to find a woman who shares that philosophy with you.

I agree with other posters that if there's no kiss by the end of the first date, there won't be a second date.
 DumbeBlonde
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 39
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 6:14:50 AM
^^^
I agree with other posters that if there's no kiss by the end of the first date, there won't be a second date.

Ditto! I know within minutes of meeting whether there's chemistry or not.

@Outmind:

Contrary to the statement above, what I have noticed is that the more experienced the guy, the more women go after him.
... because experience brings confidence and there's something very attractive about a confident and charming man.
 RioElAmante
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 40
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:25:14 AM
You're a grown adult so I'll tell you the truth. You don't make a guy wait months before you make love to him. Period, you're not in middle school anymore, it's time to make grown up decisions.

I don't view sex as some goal I'm trying to achieve, when two people have that connection and want to explore new sides of eachother.

You made your finance wait 2 years before you sleep with him and you seriously wonder why he cheated on you?

Now you're doing the same thing and wondering why you're not getting different results. You need to grow up. I'm going to give you a sugar coated P.C. answer, I'm giving you the truth.

How is a man going to feel when he's wining and dinning you, spending all of his time and money on you and you treat him like he's your gay best friend?

Stop using your "cookie" as a prize for guys to try to reach for and start acting like a grown woman. I know it sounds harsh but the truth hurts.

If you want a sexless relationship, go date a priest.
 44lookingforsomeonereal
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 41
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 10:22:14 AM
I believe if two consenting people want to have sex on the first date,so be it.Its fantastic having sex with a stranger,its exciting and is probably the most erotic and arousing time to have it.A lot of people say they dont want sex ,they want to take it slow.Well if you happen to fall for someone taking it sloowww and they are NO GOOD IN BED what so ever you probably wouldnt stay with that person.I know I probably wouldn"t.So why not have the sex,it is a huge part of a relationship!
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 42
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 10:30:27 AM
I kissed several of my dates on the first date, but no sex was ever included.


is there any guys out there isnt thinking about sex on the first date?


Give me a break.
 singleuseful
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 43
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 11:09:43 AM
re,I would say kiss by date 3 at MOST depending on circumstances, if no kiss, throw fish back. And if you feel the time is right, then fine, you can hit the bedroom. If not then don't. But certainly don't make a rule about it, and don't hand out sex like candy.

What she said an I love candy
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 44
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 12:49:42 PM
When there's not even a kiss on the 1st date...(at least, from initial online contact)
it's usually the result of one of the parties misrepresenting themselves in their profile.
Usually, their photo is 4 or 5 years old....before they added 25 pounds oto their waistline, and 5 to their face....
 dillon831
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 45
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 5:36:30 PM
for one my dear he was patient to an extent nine out of ten he was getting it somewhere else,as you say ex he cheated !it is what it is ,i hate when female say they dnt know you,seriously,you really dont know a person till you break up!true story a male or female can put on a facade all day!
 Iced1071
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 46
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 11:02:46 PM
sex on the first date is a turn off, in my opinion..

now a kiss is almost expected on a first date, if it went well... but its not required..

go with what you feel like doin' - just make sure you use protection if you taste the forbidden fruit.
 FirstClassLover
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 47
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/14/2011 5:36:12 AM
How? Explain.

For sex is connecting on a new level, seeing the other side of a person.

Eventually you're going to have sex, how does that turn you off?
 Iced1071
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 48
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/14/2011 8:00:39 AM
Sex on the first date would..Its not the eventual connection.

Its kind of an indication of how permiscous someone is, atleast imo..

I'm not saying I enjoy waiting months or have a set so number of dates - but I just don't expect to bring a girl home to mom if she sleeps with me on the first date.
 eeeasyontheeyes
Joined: 2/22/2011
Msg: 49
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/16/2011 1:52:14 PM
I find most women want sex on the first date. Sometimes I don't feel like it But I do it anyway.
 north-coast
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 50
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/16/2011 2:20:44 PM

I agree with other posters that if there's no kiss by the end of the first date, there won't be a second date.


I have a different viewpoint than others on this thread. No kissing on the first date doesn't always mean no 2nd date for me. Sometimes I have kissed a man on the first date. Other times the first kiss has happened on the 2nd date.
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