| | no sex/kiss on the first datePage 3 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | am new on this site, you are the only woman that says the truth, others are just pretending.it all depends on the state of mind, having sex is not a taboo and delaying it is not a guarantee that the man will still NOT walk of the relationship as soon as he gets it.
i hv only been in america for 7months ,now am ready for a relationship, depriving me of sex is irrelevant. i just hope come in contact with a woman with like mind with u
good job | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/25/2011 4:58:59 AM | Hopefully you broach this subject prior to the first date, so then the apparent expectations are laid. Generally my rule has been a hug or kiss on the first date only, and you have to play it by ear cause everyone is different. Have I done more on the first date? Yes, but as a rule I try to avoid it for so many reasons I cannot go into them all now.
The cliche is 3 dates for sex, but I usually let it just happen when you both feel it is right. It may be several months, or longer for some people, and others need a commitment in order to be emotionally ready. There is no magic one size fits all rule we can use for your situation. If you both have great communication skills talk about it, you never know how you both feel about something until you ask. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 5:53:35 AM | Kissing on the first date is pretty darn acceptable. It may even hurt the guy's feelings if you don't at least give him a peck on the lips.
Having sex on the first date is a bit more...well...it's not really a great idea. I've been down that road a few times in the past, and more often than not it didn't end well.
But making somebody wait for 2 years is just insane. You make it sound like getting to have sex with you is the holy grail or something. Sounds like you don't enjoy sex. Therefore I can't imagine you'd be worth waiting 2 years for.
Extremes are bad on either end. Giving it up on the 1st date is bad. Finally giving it up after the 500th date is worse. Find a happy medium in there somewhere. Or just go full tilt and save yourself for marriage. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 1:06:16 PM |
Women have sex to get love. Men give love to get sex. So here's the deal.
DO NOT PUT OUT ON THE FIRST DATE. OR THE SECOND. YOUR RULE IS FINE.
As a woman, I can not understand how women how have sex randomly can **** about how men use them for sex. They cant use you for it if you dont give it to them idiot. NEXT:
IF AFTER SEX BECOMES NORMAL THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU CHANGES AND THEY START TREATING YOU WITH LESS CARING AND LOVE GET OUT THEN AND THERE AND CUT OFF THE SEX
The only way women are going to break the used for sex cycle is to stop letting men get away with it.
Suzie on the corner says: "You make my life SO easy.."  | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 5:41:32 PM | | No sex on first date sounds like a pretty reasonable parameter same with the kissing although a hug is nice :3 | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 6:22:02 PM | This is actually a little annoying from the other end of the spectrum too....
If a woman WANTS a kiss at the end of a nice date, why are there prudish men in this modern era who think thats taboo? (Apparently Im meeting all the throwback guys that think a kiss = sex??) | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 6:24:33 PM | No kiss on the first date? I usually don't stick around for a 2nd date unless the girl tells me shes see me as more than just a friend and wants to continue to get to know me better...
but i'm not going 2 dates without a kiss because then I won't believe it lol.
Sex,to me, doesn't have a time limit or a number of dates set before that happens...Sex is all about a comfort zone - either you have it with someone, or you don't...but you can't force it. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 2:45:53 PM | | There's a big difference between a guy wanting sex after the first date and before 2 years! 2 years seems like a crazy long time to wait unless you are still in high school. As we mature and grow up, sexual intimacy should become normalized and about bonding with someone. I find it weird that you equate men who don't want to wait 2 years into the same category as men who want it after a date. As adults, sex should naturally progress when the relationship naturally progresses to that point...IMO | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 3:29:46 PM |
I agree with abelian. If you are just having a pre-date coffee, then a hug is acceptable. But you expect a guy to plunk down $100 or more for dinner and a movie or concert tickets, and then refuse to give him even a peck on the cheek? If I want to talk to a woman who's only interested in my money, I'll go to a strip club. At least there I can see her naked.
Huh? I don't care what he spends. If I want to kiss him, I'll kiss him even if he doesn't put down a cent for me.
And you should know better than to spend that type of money on women you aren't sure are interested in you. Not all women will pay their share if they are not interested (as evidenced by forums posts AND men I have dated and know as friends).
People are better off not dating if you keep putting money into the equation. You're just as bad as the women going on about the "no sex" thing. All you people who go on about this stuff need to stick together.
Please.
The other thing to keep in mind is that if you are a person who is okay with public displays of affection. That is what could be stopping some people, especially in the situation where you are in a public place and you walk back to your car on your own; so you say goodbye in the middle of the street.
There are so many variables as to why someone might not kiss a man on the first date. I've had men not kiss me and then at the next date admit they wanted to. Had I "tossed them aside" because they didn't kiss me on the first date, I wouldn't have ended up kissing them for the next 4 years (to name one example). | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 4:10:40 PM | Huh? I don't care what he spends. If I want to kiss him, I'll kiss him even if he doesn't put down a cent for me.
Somehow my comment got lost in the translation. Getting a kiss for spending money on dinner would have defeated the puropse of the kiss. I expected a kiss from a woman who was interested in a second date. I really didn't want a woman to give me a kiss if she wasn't interested in a second date, regardless of what I spent. I spent money on dinner because I wanted to go out to eat. The kissing part was just what I expect women to do if they're interested in me and a peck on the cheek is not what I mean by a kiss. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 4:26:43 PM | Consider yourself lucky if they want to even DATE you! Just saying that lately men are sexting before they even know you (in general I speak). It's nasty and Im getting sick of it but was posted..it can only happen IF we allow it. You have to give yourself the self respect to wait and have that person want to know you. That could be a couple dates or months whatever each is comfortable. The sad thing is that there are women out there that give in to easily to these men, and now they EXPECT every woman to be the same - when we are not!! And if he leave...well he's NOT someone you want. However, I would say giving in to a little kiss is cute and sexy - but that's me. You do whatever is comfortable to you. On the Ex-fiance...cheating.....well there is no given correct answer. PPL cheat whether you're in that stage or married..luckily you didn't marry the guy - would have been worst financially attached to someone who did that to you. Got look at the blessings of when things happen. But don't settle for anything less than you deserve! | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/28/2011 4:08:38 PM | Abelian, I knew that's not what you were saying (I know your views on the money situation) but the other poster "expects" a kiss if he puts money down.
Yet again, making every single interaction between a man and a woman about money.
I find sexting to have less class than first date kiss/sex. Unless the conversation had already strayed that way on the phone before the date, any man with class that I've known has never done this to me.
First date sex/kiss can be wonderful with the right person. Going out with an expectation of either NOT having sex or of having sex will kill the mood. Having a great time on the date and ending it by WANTING to have sex with the person is what makes it great! | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/28/2011 5:44:22 PM | I personally think it comes down to attraction, you can tell pretty quickly if there is anything going on or not, hopefully there is. to me that means a better chance of the relationship moving forward. That doesn't mean that you hop right into bed immediately if there is attraction, that again is personal preference.
If I meet a guy and all my flags start telling me that yes I think this guy is hot than my body chemistry is going to kick in, I just hope I am up to it physically, as it can be a heck of a workout if done right lol. Otherwise he thinks you don't know what your doing and will consider you a lousy lay, which is sad when all it might take is some practice and getting into the groove of it. Anyway, that is my two cents on it, I cannot personally see anyone waiting 2 years while actively seeing someone before they decide to have sex. But that is what makes the world go round, uniqueness. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/28/2011 8:51:27 PM | | I agree with what roxy said, why put rules on emotions? Then again I am pretty sure I am going to go check out her now :)) | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/8/2011 1:13:47 PM | I dont' think there's anything wrong with it...But I usually place a kiss on the cheek when we first hug anyway...nothing is meant by it on my end, just habit for hugging family and old friends I guess.
If you have rules that you like to follow, then follow them....Is there anything with sex on the 1st date....Tough question...
Would it be nice, hell yeah, but I've never really been able to get into women who do that and they're looking for something serious...I hear people talk about chemistry and being consenting adults..but really, I'd like to wait maybe 2/3 dates...builds up tension and excitement that way...
And no i don't think it makes a chick a slut or hoe (whore for those politically correct), but I'm sure as gonna think she's rather easy...again, that's if you're looking for something serious...sometimes you might have been talking to a person so long that the tension is already there and you know em enough to do it...
To each their own! Que Sera Sera! | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/8/2011 3:08:33 PM | | To me, there're no rules. It's all a gut feel. I have had a date where she stopped me for the kiss on the first date (and there was a second date) and had a first date that started friday night and didn't stop until Sunday night. each relationship is different. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/8/2011 3:39:34 PM |  People who live their lives with pre-made plans for just about everything turn me off. I like someone who has wits and can be somewhat spontaneous and make decisions as they go. The man who waited 2 years for you, I'm sure he's one of a kind. I would not wait that long to have sex with any woman regardless of wether she's the hotest woman alive. Nobody is worth waiting for longer than 2 weeks tops (lol). | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/8/2011 4:00:12 PM | | Op,do what you feel is comfortable for you.In asnwer to your questino (or one of them) yes there are men that will go on a first or even second date without thinking about sex, and they are not "secretly gay" or any of that utter nonesense some of the lower class males like to spew. Personally If I were interested in the woman I'd wait for half a year before getting the "goods" so to speak. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/8/2011 4:34:11 PM | Women seem to get confused with men.
They expect men to make a play for them on the first date- women do like this...so long as they can push off on the man a little and he isn't obnoxious about wanting that azz.
So when a guy doesn't make a play on them- they wonder "gee, does he like me?"
and even at times when he does, they think "gee, does he only want sex with me?"
seems guys can never win!!
lmao | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/9/2011 10:02:46 PM | I'm going to give it up on the first date from now on. The last one was my worst experience and I wasted time getting to know him for no reason  | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/21/2011 5:43:40 PM | | If that is your rule then that is your rule. Expecting a man who may be attracted to you to be okay with months and months might be difficult. Personally if I was interested enough to date exclusively a physical connection would have to exist. I can say I have had sex on the first date, in fact two on the first meeting and in both instances they turned into long term relationships and one turned into a marriage. Both cases involved great chemistry and it just happened. The only other significant relationship post high school and college I have had was with a women that waited a week. There was fantastic chemistry in all cases and we discussed it openly afterwards and agreed if we where going to be sexual then it had to be exclusive. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/22/2011 4:28:46 AM | Sex,to me, doesn't have a time limit or a number of dates set before that happens...Sex is all about a comfort zone - either you have it with someone, or you don't...but you can't force it.
Sounds a tad contradictory when you place a timeline on kissing too. I don't assume anything.
I've had guys not kiss me on the 2nd date, only to call me later and say what an idiot they were for not kissing me and we ended up engaged.
All these rules and assumptions....
If I had rules, I'd have never met some of the men I've met or dated them.
"generally my rule is...". "my rule is..." Blech!! | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/22/2011 6:21:00 AM |
All these rules and assumptions....
If I had rules, I'd have never met some of the men I've met or dated them.
"generally my rule is...". "my rule is..." Blech!!
Precisely my sentiments. The more filters you install, the more fences you build, the more reasons you fabricate to exclude discovery of others, the more corralled you are, and the more you've curtailed your own opportunities for growth, and even living a halfway full life.
Had a great first meet once, we walked, talked, ate and drank, smiled alot, and she was really cute, too. Sitting in my car, saying goodbyes, I leaned over to kiss her. At the last minute, being quicker than I, she turned her head, and my lips crashed into her left ear. Lol (Seemed like a crash, to me, but it was more like a soft landing on the moon). That one didn't last past the second date. Guess I shoulda taken the hint. | |
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| no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/22/2011 8:57:27 AM | | I have to say that I don't really understand why the OP needs to have such rules. Seems she is self-limiting pointlessly, especially in light of how it's worked out for her anyway. I'm not saying to have sex with every guy you see, but maybe you should loosen up a bit. A kiss is not a big deal! | |
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