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| | What do women want?Page 3 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | | It isn't just women, dude.....men say the same thing..."laid back, funny, bla bla" And they ARE NOT God's gift to women. Average is norm. We all have qualities that someone wants it's just finding that person that we will mesh with. What may be appealing to you will be boring to someone else. All you can do is be yourself and enjoy your interests until you find someone that shares the same thing. Don't generalize that it's "all women". | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 3:17:02 PM |
Women don't want to date whiny men who post "nice guy" threads complaining about never getting dates.
Women don't want to date men who put themselves down, sound pathetic in their profiles, and have lost their enthusiasm and optimism about life.
Women don't want to date men who complain about their past relationships, complain about their jobs, their boss and their kids.
I'm dating a short, bald, average looking foreign man who can't spell worth a damn. He's attractive in my eyes because he has self-confidence, he's not defeated by life and our goals are similar.
Well I dont doubt you are a kind and true woman, but you must realise that with the vast number of nice guy threads there must be some truth to these statements, you see confidence is the result of success more than it is the cause of it. When i was in my teens and early 20's I was full of confidence, now not so much, why the difference ? well in my youth dating was easy, I just showed up tall, funny and creative, and I would be successful with women 80% of the time and all it took was kindness, honesty and and expressing my true feelings. I would get a partner who made me feel as if she valued me, and thought about me when i was or was not there, (which the latter was rare) Why am I not as confident now? Well no matter how kind, witty and honest I am my success rate in getting to the relationship stage is now closer to 10%, women I have gotten evolved with seem to not return what I give thus leaving me feeling unwanted while still claiming they want to be in a relationship with me. in those situations I feel like I have a place on their to-do list under hanging out with friends and just above clean the fridge.
So if you wonder why so many have little or no confidence? ask those that created them for we are all products of our experience.
I actually thought a lot of it was hysterical, and clever.. Due to the wonders of genetic engineering and a vending machine condom, the miracles of science have produced "The MORTALEZ-1.0".
Well I was adopted, my birth mother was 13 years old so I imagine if a condom was used at all, it most likely came from a vending machine. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 3:56:17 PM |
women I have gotten evolved with seem to not return what I give thus leaving me feeling unwanted while still claiming they want to be in a relationship with me. in those situations I feel like I have a place on their to-do list under hanging out with friends and just above clean the fridge.
For many years I went through this type of experience with men and it did get my confidence down. I had to look within me to figure out what I was doing wrong in attracting or being attracted to these type of men. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 4:30:48 PM | As time goes by, through my own experience dating lately and what I see around me, and the input of my fellow forumites, I am beginning to see a common thread.
Something is happening that is causing a divide between men and women.
Women are evolving and men are stuck.
Both men and women were handed down certain roles and codes of conduct ... men do not question as much as women do.
Women are naturally more resilient and creative, and when we don't like something we do whatever it takes to change it. We know that there is strength in numbers, in community ... so we pool together with other women and it gets done.
Why am I not as confident now? Well no matter how kind, witty and honest I am my success rate in getting to the relationship stage is now closer to 10%, women I have gotten evolved with seem to not return what I give thus leaving me feeling unwanted while still claiming they want to be in a relationship with me. in those situations I feel like I have a place on their to-do list under hanging out with friends and just above clean the fridge.
^^ now, I don't know you personally, but your comments remind me of others' that come from men who are "stuck" in an old pattern.
Think about it, if women have changed, you'll have to change your game.
We (women) have to change over time. Nature requires that, wisdom is necessary. We begin to see clearly what worked in the past and what did not. We become more business-like. We are tired of the nonsense and desire to share ourselves with a man who is creative, flexible enough to value us and our contribution, trusts life (source of confidence), is not ego driven, and can make things happen (like killing spiders! lol...  ), not an old little boy who is selfish, falling apart and crusty, and not growing!
We begin to see that it is possible to have it all, and we are not settling.
Mortalez, you have creativity on your side, lucky ... use it! Don't be stuck.
I can only speak for myself maybe? But I suspect that there are few things more irresistible to a woman than a man who knows where they are going and how to get there, with humor and kindness. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:14:38 PM | | One of the things I also would genuinely like in a man is one who actually knows what he wants and goes after it. Nothing worse then getting involved, putting your heart out there, hearing and saying those wonderful words of love, etc. everything seemingly going nicely, then to all of a sudden to hear "I don't know, I don't know what I want" WTF...very confusing to say the least. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:19:34 PM | Something is happening that is causing a divide between men and women.
Women are evolving and men are stuck.
You know what I've noticed? When someone hangs out with only one certain group of people who are very homogenous in their belief systems, they tend to give each other lots of pats on the back for every little thing that is good and often fail to see anything positive in another group.... or that another group is moving in a direction that is actually good for them.
This is why the Mutual Admiration Society, to which all and only women belong, is so focussed on themselves that they sometimes fail to see what is really going on. You're all so busy hugging each other that you may be failing to see that a lot of men love the peace an quiet while they do whatever the hell they want without some woman trying to control... er, manage... ummmm... hmmm... "share" ....our lives.
Perhaps what you see as "stuck" may be that more and more men just don't see the point in chasing members of the M.A.S as they running willy-nilly hither and yon "evolving". The younger guys are still gonna chase, of course, but things are changing and I think it'd be great if my sons have vasectomies, just bang away, get well educated, have fun, never get married...
... and evolve in a way that's good for themselves, not in some way defined by women.
But I suspect that there are few things more irresistible to a woman than a man who knows where they are going and how to get there, with humor and kindness.
Which is exactly why I tell my boys to do what they want for themselves and not worry about getting involved with women. Women will come and go, but they have to live with themselves until they croak. They might as well have lots of fun in the process.
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:41:14 PM | | I definitely just want a man other women think is just average but I see as unreal. I wouldn't want the guy all the women want, I want one who I see as super special and unique. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:43:53 PM |
I definitely just want a man other women think is just average but I see as unreal. I wouldn't want the guy all the women want, I want one who I see as super special and unique.
From what I have seen that is easily accomplished for a short period with the help of alcohol. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:47:54 PM | | ha ha! okay, someone special and unique without the help of alcohol..or drugs | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:48:35 PM | my guess would be most women want someone that they can tolerate all his bad habits while still offering at least a few positives to being with him...
But you don't want most women do you?
Most women wont be compatible to you. Most women wont want you. Most women will not even like you. Most women will/are........ fill in the blanks yourself.
Be who you are and don't try to be the guy that most women want because if you ever became that guy that most women want then they would not want you because "most women" would also want you.
You just need to find the one that is what you want and you what she wants... That is what MOST of us are here looking for.
However, MOST of the women here would likely want you to do a thread search and see the many similarities to your post and the billions of nice guy threads... oh wait there isn't billions because the ladies here usually click to delete any nice guy thread that pops up like they are playing a game of space invaders (it is an 80's video game for you youngins out here). | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:59:11 PM |
you may be failing to see that a lot of men love the peace an quiet while they do whatever the hell they want without some woman trying to control... er, manage... ummmm... hmmm... "share" ....our lives.
Part of the "women evolving" is women who feel pretty much the same way...they'd like a "relationship" that permits of more independent functioning for BOTH parties.
And almost invariably, if one does anything more that the most casual dating/NSA sex with a guy, he is completely floored by a "no, let's NOT move in together" answer. They presume that the woman is talking about a FwB, or a booty call, or that she wants to date around with half the freakin' township.
Oh yeah, he'll talk a blue streak about "the peace and quiet and doing whatever the hell he wants"...and when the woman says "Exactly! Lets' have a relationship that doesn't involve living in each others' armpits 24/7!" -the next sound the woman hears is the thud of the guys' jaw hitting the floor.
Of course I do realize that there are men(and women,more than likely) whose only interest in dating is to get laid.
But I think there are more women than guys comprehend, who do not want-or NEED-to live under the same roof. This is not to say this is just a "social outing" relationship!-they may choose to spend time together whitewashing the chicken coop ,having a yard sale, helping one another in time of need, perhaps joining together to entertain friends and/or family-but these things are not presumed to be automatic privileges(or responsibilities).
You'd think that guys would be very enthused about "non-cohabiting LTRS"-but I'm not finding that many who can even COMPREHEND the concept.
Why do you reckon that is?
Cindy O | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:16:56 PM |
You'd think that guys would be very enthused about "non-cohabiting LTRS"-but I'm not finding that many who can even COMPREHEND the concept.
Why do you reckon that is?
Well, I suspect that the main reason is that guys will, believe it or not, fall in love for no other reason than that he really loves the woman. He doesn't give a shit about what she does, if she has money, whether or not she knows a pot from a hammer.....
.... guys are funny that way.
Women?... not so much. Lotsa ducks gotta be lined up for most women which are not necessarily related to "love".
Men will adapt to whatever the hell it is that will continue to get them laid....
... so expect a much higher percentage of male professional atheletes, musicians, and rich geeks in the future....
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:03:55 PM | Nice post #64!!
Perhaps what you see as "stuck" may be that more and more men just don't see the point in chasing members of the M.A.S as they running willy-nilly hither and yon "evolving".
Not at all CB! I don't see the point of such groups. I've always been in favor of independent thinking.
The younger guys are still gonna chase, of course, but things are changing and I think it'd be great if my sons have vasectomies, just bang away, get well educated, have fun, never get married...
^^^ Bitter much?
... and evolve in a way that's good for themselves, not in some way defined by women. But I suspect that there are few things more irresistible to a woman than a man who knows where they are going and how to get there, with humor and kindness. Which is exactly why I tell my boys to do what they want for themselves and not worry about getting involved with women. Women will come and go, but they have to live with themselves until they croak. They might as well have lots of fun in the process.
Agreed! Growing and having fun (never at the expense of another) is for everyone and for our own selves to define our needs.
Where did you get that women define that?
When my father died my mother was a young woman of 38 years (she is now 84) and worked really hard to support my sister and I.
About 7 years ago I asked why she never re-married, to which she replied with a wave of her Italian hand while wrinkling her nose: "NOO! Too much trouble ... I like my freedom and now would not want to be stuck looking after some sick man." Ouch! Harsh ... I thought.
Hmmm!  | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:05:49 PM | | Women want a guy who can challenge them. They want a guy whom knows what he wants and goes for it. A guy that can take the lead. He needs confidence and ambition. They want someone who is positive and exciting. They want a guy who can turn them on. They also want a guy that can make them laugh. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:07:16 PM |
Men will adapt to whatever the hell it is that will continue to get them laid....
^^^ That makes me sad.
... so expect a much higher percentage of male professional atheletes, musicians, and rich geeks in the future....
 ^^^ I hope so! | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:24:35 PM |
Not at all CB! I don't see the point of such groups. I've always been in favor of independent thinking.
You don't see the point? Independent thinking? I know women love to tell themselves that they are all absolutely individual, unique and free from any herd-like compulsions, but women are the most herd-minded creatures of all...
.. which is NOT a bad thing. It just is what it is. You, and every other woman, is a happy member of the M.A.S. which has it's good points and it's not-so-good-points.
The younger guys are still gonna chase, of course, but things are changing and I think it'd be great if my sons have vasectomies, just bang away, get well educated, have fun, never get married... ^^^ Bitter much?
Really? You're gonna throw out the 'bitter' card over THAT?
I encourage my boys to be independent, intelligent, self-assured, self-reliant men and you call that 'bitter'?
Hmmm.... pretty much affirms my take on how you see men.
Where did you get that women define that?
Well, jeezers-creezers... maybe just by posts that assert that men are not as evolved as the women-folk and that they they need to 'evolve' according to how those same women-folk, like, ummmm.... YOU... say they oughta... 
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:50:43 PM | MMM CB ...
Let me affirm above all that I adore men! I have more fun with them than I do with women.
I read all these posts about men and women and shake my head while saying to myself, "this cannot be, this cannot be".... I refuse to come out believing that people in general can be sooo jaded! If that is the case we are doomed as a society, there are no good men left, and I'm outtahere!
There is not "bitter card" here, only in what you wrote "... I think it'd be great if my sons have vasectomies, just bang away, ..."
I think that is awful!! You might as well tell them as well that you are sorry you had them.
maybe just by posts that assert that men are not as evolved as the women-folk and that they they need to 'evolve' according to how those same women-folk, like, ummmm.... YOU... say they oughta...
So far I did not mention "how"... although I must say one thing. WARS.
No mother would send their sons to war... it is a male thing. I see no benefit in wars for anyone. That needs to stop. The male ego thing of "I win-you lose" needs to give way to a kinder more productive "win-win".
My idea of evolving is towards everything you mentioned, growing personally, studying something new, being courageous, forgiving.... I would like to see happier men my age. They seem stuck in some rut, unhealthy ('cause they won't take care of themselves), stale and boring (refuse to learn anything new), rigid in their bodies and minds and recounting nothing but the bitter past or the good old days. Yuck! Hopefully not all men are like that, but the majority of the ones I've seen are. Other women are noticing too and have opted to go out with much younger men.
*thinking... | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 8:25:26 PM | WhitePanda wrote:
They want a guy whom knows what he wants and goes for it. A guy that can take the lead. He needs confidence and ambition. They want someone who is positive and exciting. They want a guy who can turn them on. They also want a guy that can make them laugh.
Yup... yup yup!!
Can I help a little?
Men want:
A woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. A woman that can take the lead sometimes. She needs confidence and ambition. They want someone who is positive and exciting. They want a gal who can turn them on. They also want a gal that can make them laugh.
I would also add to both: a supportive attitude.
Funny how we all want the same things no?
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 9:10:54 PM | Whoever said the thing about women looking for a reason not to like a man, while if a man likes or loves a woman, there's not much that could change his mind about her was right.
If a guy finds a woman attractive and likes/loves her, he doesn't care what his friends think, or if she has a bad mood every once in a while, or has a weird hobby.
Meanwhile, a guy has to be a renaissance man to satisfy a woman and will be dumped if he shows any sign of weakness.
Given the choice between a "really hot" high maintenance girl (even if she was interested in me) or a girl that was less attractive but a 10 to me, I'd take the latter. It seems most women would rather have the hot guy just so they can show off to their friends and feel "wanted" by someone of that so-called level. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 9:27:19 PM | | Women want something unattainable that society has deemed to be of the normal of relationship guild lines…..The formula is generally set out to fail…..We are so programmed as to what a relationship is, and follows, that we do not really control a lot of what goes on in it…..Wanting someone like yourself is mirroring self traits, that will ultimately end in doom….At the same having polar opposites can create a distance….The problem I think generally, is people have to know themselves before entering a relationship or there is a high percent of failure…. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/23/2011 9:33:22 PM | I refuse to come out believing that people in general can be sooo jaded! If that is the case we are doomed as a society, there are no good men left, and I'm outtahere!
Welp, I'm one of the most jaded and cynical of all the folks you'll ever know, but even I know that society is not doomed. It's changing, but it'll always be there. Don't depair.... women keep asserting that they don't need men for anything, but they do still need their sperm, so there will still be some interaction....
... and probably a lot of intercourse, too...
There is not "bitter card" here, only in what you wrote "... I think it'd be great if my sons have vasectomies, just bang away, ..."
I think that is awful!!
So, telling my sons to be absolutely and unequivocably responsible for their reproductive rights is 'awuful'? I don't see it like that. I'd much rather they have vasectomies and freeze some of their sperm so that they, and only they, can choose when to pass on their DNA.
You might as well tell them as well that you are sorry you had them.
Why?
I really don't care if they have kids of their own and really don't care if I ever have grand-kids, but I don't regret having them as sons. I think they're terrific because they are wonderful young men.
No mother would send their sons to war... it is a male thing. I see no benefit in wars for anyone.
No, war has always been a reality. A male thing? Yes, in the sense that men have gone to war to protect women and children as often as they have for any other reason.
Women and children have benefitted from war as much as they've lost by it. It ain't a pleasant thing, but it's not just about men, sorry.
The male ego thing of "I win-you lose" needs to give way to a kinder more productive "win-win".
Ah, yes. When all else fails, point at men's egos as the root of all that is wrong in the world.
Believe it or not, women have egos equally as fragile as those of men and women are equally competitive as men. Women love to think that wars are all about men and their 'unevolved' natures, but historically they've been pretty happy that they have the protection that has been provided by men who are willing to step up....
... and, do you really think that women are any better when it comes to aggression and self-centred, self-interest?
I would like to see happier men my age. They seem stuck in some rut, unhealthy ('cause they won't take care of themselves), stale and boring (refuse to learn anything new), rigid in their bodies and minds and recounting nothing but the bitter past or the good old days. Yuck! .....Other women are noticing too and have opted to go out with much younger men.
Sure, but maybe you're just meeting those who are desperate enough to bother meeting the female counterparts of the guys you talk about. Some guys just don't see the benefit of being in a relationship given how much they are expected to give up. Believe it or not, the choices of women your age and mine is not anywhere near as wonderful as you seem to think....
.. which is the exact reason most men would prefer to date younger women.
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 6:56:38 AM |
Something is happening that is causing a divide between men and women.
Women are evolving and men are stuck.
It's not that we are stuck, we just don't see it as evolution, evolution is progress, for something to be viewed as progress it has to be an improvement over what came before it, the way people view relationships is not and improvment, it does not feel as good, not as enjoyable and it leaves many feeling they serve no purpose.
Both men and women were handed down certain roles and codes of conduct ... men do not question as much as women do.
Women are naturally more resilient and creative, and when we don't like something we do whatever it takes to change it. We know that there is strength in numbers, in community ... so we pool together with other women and it gets done.
Is this why with few exceptions its men who throughout history have been the ones who question authority? band together and over throw oppressive governments? There is a reason the usa is not part of the British empire.
And if you look at even children it is boys that tend to be more rebellious, but again a system that works does not need to be changed, and the new system should be better not worse our 50% divorce rate today vs 10% in the 50's is evidence enough that it was not an improvement.
^^ now, I don't know you personally, but your comments remind me of others' that come from men who are "stuck" in an old pattern.
Think about it, if women have changed, you'll have to change your game.
That's just it I never had a game, I would just be myself and I had good luck in the romantic arena.
My old pattern was, humour, honesty, creativity and just being as honourable as I could be. Are you saying those things are out of style? Well if they are not, it is clear that those traits are not enough.
We become more business-like. We are tired of the nonsense and desire to share ourselves with a man who is creative, flexible enough to value us and our contribution, trusts life (source of confidence), is not ego driven, and can make things happen (like killing spiders! lol... ), not an old little boy who is selfish, falling apart and crusty, and not growing!
We begin to see that it is possible to have it all, and we are not settling.
Mortalez, you have creativity on your side, lucky ... use it! Don't be stuck.
And tht is part of the problem, relationships are not supposed to be business like, that WOULD be a throw back to an earlier time, and eliminate the REAL progress that has been made 80 years ago as opposed to the crappy progress in the last 20 years or so. yes 80+ years ago marriage was a business arrangement but WWI and the industrial revolution changed all that, We aren't all farmers any more, I don't have to marry my daughter off to the grocer's son to have a guaranteed place to sell my produce. If killing spiders and being creative was enough I WOULD NOT BE HERE, if being faithful was enough, I WOULD NOT BE HERE, Oh and I don't settle either I refuse to be with someone who puts me at the bottom or even middle of her list, If I claim to be into somebody and I have romantic aspirations toward said female they are at the TOP of my list, anything less is a waste of time for both parties.
I enter into every relationship on a positive note, for of hope extreme happiness and hope, That only changes at the point inwhich I start to feel neglected, and that's the painful part of all of this, most people DO know how to behave in a relationship and most do(during the honeymoon stage), but usually only in the early stages then they start to fall back to their old life and try to squeeze their partner into it, leaving a partner feeling they are only getting the spare scrapes of their life. yes people can be heartless. | |
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cinsav
| | Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 73 | |
| What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:19:29 AM |
I read all the profile's and you see most of them say, honesty, kind, caring, fun man but it seems like if your not gods gift to women then they just pass you by. I know some men on here may be gods gift to women but alot of us are just average and instead of anyone giving you a reply they just pass u by. So I was just wandering what does a lady really want? Someone they can show off or someone they can be happy with. Just sort of confused over all of this and not meaning anything by it, ugly or mean or anything like that.
What do women want?
1. Looks
2. Money
3. Sense of humor
Being nice and considerate is some where down the list between having a pet and making your bed every day.
Women care far more about looks than men do. For different reasons mind you, but they do. When you go on an Internet date and you're walking up to meet her for the first time... she has looked you up and down left to right and back again. Before you've even said "hello" she has judged you. Do his shoes match is clothes? Are his clothes ironed? Is his hygene good? Is he well groomed? on and on. That's BEFORE you've even said "hi," keep in mind. Now you're sitting at dinner and she's analyzing you again. How you sit, how you look in the dim light - it goes on and on.
Anyway, in the real world looks, money, humor are key - if you have those three you'll have a hard time being alone. You can get by without one, but if you're missing two or all three? You're pretty much screwed.
Online dating is, for the most part, a joke. It should NEVER be used solely. You should focus on meeting people in your area in the real world and use the Internet to SUPPLIMENT. Never take Internet dating serious. It's fun, but while some people do meet someone they marry - most of us wont.
People will treat your profile, my profile and everyone else's profile like a head of lettuce. And, you're never "the only one" they are talking to. | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:23:38 AM |
Given the choice between a "really hot" high maintenance girl (even if she was interested in me) or a girl that was less attractive but a 10 to me, I'd take the latter. It seems most women would rather have the hot guy just so they can show off to their friends and feel "wanted" by someone of that so-called level.
that isn't even remotely true based on the statistics produced and posted publicly by another internet dating site.
fully 2/3 thirds of all messages sent by men go to women rated in the top 1/3 as "most beautiful" (according to photo ratings on the site).
women overwhelmingly message the men in the middle of the scale, with a steep drop-off as men are rated "more attractive".
there are far, far, far too many threads posted here by men complaining about "hot" women who use and abuse them. i've unfortunately been here a long time, and i've never seen the reverse... | |
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| What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:38:59 AM |
that isn't even remotely true based on the statistics produced and posted publicly by another internet dating site.
fully 2/3 thirds of all messages sent by men go to women rated in the top 1/3 as "most beautiful" (according to photo ratings on the site).
women overwhelmingly message the men in the middle of the scale, with a steep drop-off as men are rated "more attractive".
there are far, far, far too many threads posted here by men complaining about "hot" women who use and abuse them. i've unfortunately been here a long time, and i've never seen the reverse...
I guess im in the 1/3 group as I look back on my life I realised the women who put me through the MOST drama were also the best looking(by societies standards) so I widened my scope years ago. There have been studies inwhich they have found that people put up with more antisocial behaviour from "the beautiful people" and how that impacts how they treat others throughout life. | |
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