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| | Just how long should it take to get over someone?Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | Go to gym, punch the punching bag. Come home, take a cold shower. Drink Jasmine tea. Read "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. You can borrow it from your local library. Don't sit there and feel sorry for yourself, then you will get over her faster. Believe me. | |
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| Just how long should it take to get over someone?
Posted: 11/14/2011 12:09:40 PM | Hi
30 years of marriage and he told me he was leaving because he had been having an affair with my best friend for a year!
You ask the question how long should it take to get over someone?
1st question:
How do you ever get over someone that you have loved... try to remain positive for 1....
Everything you said, reminded me of what I am feeling... 12 months on and I still love him, I hate what he did to me and our children but yes I still love him and I always will... but I will never forgive him and I will never trust him again and I dare say you would never her again either.... its hard yes, and its easy for all those people who tell you to move on, you have to learn to fall out of love with that person before you can do that, counselling is good idea, it took me three sessions to admit to my counsellor that I still love my husband, I do, no two ways about it... but its not fair that we should be treated in this most disrespectful way, they were making love to other people when our backs were turned.... therefore we deserve better, we deserve our own love, our own new feelings and most of all respect from another person and our x's did not give us respect at all....
so my advice to you, is put away all the pictures, all the love songs, re decorate the house or flat and make everything brand new. I have just completed my whole house there is nothing of him left in there now... nothing..... and each day when I wake up even though I still look at the pillow next to me, I know there will be another life for me, someone out there... and you must feel the same and you will one day..... but never ever think of doing anything to yourself, because you know what they are just not worth it, let them do whatever they got to do, they have to live with themselves for the rest of their lives knowing what they have done.......
Good luck to you and I hope one day you will be able to realise that you are better off without her........ and you will find someone for yourself one day to love......
LIFE IS FOR LIVING AND THERE ARE PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA.... SO GO HUNT ONE...... | |
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| Just how long should it take to get over someone?
Posted: 11/20/2011 8:42:19 AM | Theres nothing wrong about how much you still care and love her.Even though she done you wrong.But for you to feel the way you feel, you do need some kind of closure for you to feel better.Maybe trying to call her and talk to her. And maybe she feels really bad and doesnt know how to confront you about it. Because she realized what a sweet guy you really are and cant approach the right way to exsplain herself because she did you wrong.For you to feel for her after what she did. She probably knows you really do love her,but because she was the one that was in fault she couldnt be open about her mistakes.So it was easier for her to back out and exscape.So maybe trying to get a hold of her and talk to her to make sure about everything.You never know if she heard what you needed to say and asked her to come back and you forgive her...She might do that. But you need to get back feeling good about yourself. And it's all up to you to make that happen. And if she doesnt come back. At least you got to talk it out and let her know how you really feel. That will help you alittle bit more than keeping it all up inside you. Good Luck! Im sure you will be back feeling better intime!  | |
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| Just how long should it take to get over someone?
Posted: 11/24/2011 4:04:32 AM | hi i was with my x for 2 yrs we got married and everything after being married for 2weeks despite how i said too her are you sure this is what you want after her rushing a marriage after me not rushing it and say are you sre a million times after her crying while we got married SHE UP AND LEFT ME NOT EVEN TWO WEEKS AFTER WE GOT MARRIED I WAS HEART BROKEN NOW OF COURSE I TEX AND CALLED HER TO FIND OUT WHY SHE LEFT FOR GOOD AND TOO FIND OUT IF SHE EVER LOVED ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN WAITING FOR AN ANSWER I GUESS THAT MADE SENSE BECAUSE YOU DONT DO THAT TOO SOMEONE YOU LOVE . THE ANSWER I GOT WAS IT OVER WITH GET OVER IT I HATE THAT ANSWER BECAUSE NO I WONT ITS NOT FAIR FIRST OFF SECOND I MADE SURE YOU WANTED THIS MARRIGE AND ME OVER AND OVER YOU SAID YES .. WELL LONG STORY SHORT SHE ANSWERED ME SHE WASNT IN LOVE SHE LIED AND SHE ON TOP OF THAT WAS GOING TO BE WIT H A MAN NOW ..
MAKE THINGS WORSE SHE WANTS ME TOO PAY FOR THE DEVORCE AND STILL TOO THIS DAY AND THIS BREAK UP GOES BACK TOO JULY EVEN AFTER ALL SHE DID AND HOW MUCH SHE HURT ME I STILL LOVE HER THATS WHAT SUCKS SO WHEN YOU ASK HOW LONG IT TAKE WELL NO ONE EVER KNOWS HOW LONG FOR YOU BECAUSE YOUR HEART LOVES DIFFRENT AND FEELS DIFFRENT THEN ANY OTHERS ITS UP TOO YOU TOO MAKE THE CHOICE TOO FORGET ONCE AND FOR ALL .. I GUESS | |
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ro1970
| | Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 56 | |
| Just how long should it take to get over someone?
Posted: 11/24/2011 4:54:48 AM | OP, I am so sorry this happened to you.......What Curlygirl said in a previous post on here is dead on!
You SHOULD celebrate the fact you found her true colors BEFORE walking down the aisle or heading to a justice of the peace.........
BUT that being said, I went through a cheating ex, only we were together 14 years when he decided he wanted to be with someone else, BUT in my case, he lied about it, and continues to lie about it to this very day.
Yes, after putting everything I had in our relationship and doing all I could to keep things going, it WAS a cold slap across the face. I was hurt, angry, and devastated.
After he left, I spent the first 6 months in a total fog. I just went through the motions of getting through the day....but when I got home....and the minute I locked the door behind me, did I fall apart.
Finally, I got off my butt, found a good grief group and religiously attended it weekly, found some new friends, joined a couple of bowling leagues, joined a book club, volunteered, kept going to school, and kept on working. In time, I forgot about him, didn't think of him every day wondering what he was up to.
Sure, that first year was very tough, but I made it though. In fact, on the anniversary of his leaving, I and my newfound friends all went out to dinner to celebrate how far I had come on my own. In fact, when one of our friends has an "anniversary" of such, we all go out and celebrate it.
It is now 6 years down the road for me.....and I am doing fine. - still have a job, attend school, bowl, volunteer, attend book club, and still run around with my friends. - The key to it all.....I found good support.....which is what you need to do.
As far as my ex goes.....well, his "new relationship" fell apart and didn't even last 2 years. Long story short, he married her, but months later they divorced. He has asked me back 4 times in the 6 years I've been on my own....and each time I laugh in his face, as he now realizes what he lost. No way on God's green earth would I ever go back to him.
OP, in addition to individual counseling, supplement that with a grief group, then join a club, find a couple of sporting leagues, volunteer somewhere, etc. In doing so, you will not only get out of the house for a bit, but you will also meet some new friends. In time, you hurting heart will heal and yes, you will get over her. BUT you have to be willing to let that happen.
It's up to YOU to decide. The choice is yours. | |
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| Just how long should it take to get over someone?
Posted: 11/24/2011 10:31:29 AM | im having the same problem i ended up in the hospital because of my x still every time i think im doing good he pops up in my life again just to feel the same pain i had when i was in the hosp. its been over 2 years i had counseling just the other day i was back at square one its really hard i never felt this kind of pain and its like he enjoys seeing me hurt because he tells me thin
gs that he knows will hurt me i to had a break down i feel ur pain good luck | |
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