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| | If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?Page 4 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | | If you're living together monogamously then of course you help out with the kids but otherwise I wouldn't...they aren't your kids! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/5/2011 10:19:47 AM | That depends on where your heart is....
That depends on where the woman.s heart is . Is her sole purpose to find a sponsor for her family?
You will know in the first couple of weeks what she has you around for....the more she asks you for things the more you know. See what happens if you cannot help with something......ya gotta test the situation, because it is your heart at stake. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/10/2011 9:08:03 PM | | I would like to kindly point out that statistcally, men still are in a higher income bracket than women (in most cases, even for the same job). In general, single dads still make more money than single moms. On the other hand, if I were financially better off than a single dad that I was dating (and I really liked him and I knew he was not as well off as me,) yes I would help. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/10/2011 9:22:24 PM | Quite honestly, I am positively appauled at the responses I have read on this topic. I do not know anything about the original poster, so I cannot comment on his personal life.
If you have no compassion or understanding of what it is like to be a single women raising small children with most odds against you then please turn away and do not come near us. I have great credit, I have no debt, I try to take 1 or 2 classes a semester to make a better life for myself and my children and work fulltime. For most women, it is easier to not seek child support because it is a dead end road.
We are precious gems, sacraficing our lives for our children, and wanting to find someone to share this great life with, and you people are himming and hawing over $50.
A guy I had been seeing for about a month asked me out on a date and wanted to go to a jazz festival and then for dinner and drinks. It sounded like a great night, but babysitters alone are $10/hour. I felt terrible asking him if he could help with childcare, but I also don't want to bail after an hour because I can't afford it.
I have offered to cook dinner for the person, take walks in the park, even do volunteer work together, as a way of spending time together, without spending money. It was greeted with a half hearted, sure, which is why I ended it after a month and a half.
Unless you have been a single mom or possible raised by one, you should not be posting on this topic. You have no idea.
Respectfully,
Camille | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/10/2011 10:26:13 PM |
If you have no compassion or understanding of what it is like to be a single women raising small children with most odds against you then please turn away and do not come near us. I have great credit, I have no debt, I try to take 1 or 2 classes a semester to make a better life for myself and my children and work fulltime. For most women, it is easier to not seek child support because it is a dead end road. come again? this calls for a say what???? ummmm this is why some single parents ( notice I said Parents not mothers or fathers PARENTS) shouldn't date, if you cant afford it don't date, simple. If you dont want to seek child support and rather scrimp and get back , who's fault is that?
We are precious gems, sacraficing our lives for our children, and wanting to find someone to share this great life with, and you people are himming and hawing over $50. Im sorry, if you cant balance your life then perhaps you should put dating on hold for the time being, precious gems? that's a new one so why do you think single moms are precious, what about single dads?
Unless you have been a single mom or possible raised by one, you should not be posting on this topic. You have no idea. You know Dating isn't a right, its a privilege , and once again if you cant afford to date don't date, by the way I was raised by a single mom and I see what sacrifices she did for us, and how did we reward her, she's living comfortably in her golden years. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/10/2011 11:17:25 PM | | Forgot_to_date, a lot of the responses on here are actually by single mothers. Like me, for one. CDN is very much right here. You cannot and should not date if you can't afford it. A man I'm starting to date should not jump in to provide for me because he feels it's a man's obligation. My children are not, and I repeat NOT, his responsibility. If I cannot afford a baby sitter, or the gas to get there, then what right do I have dating? All it shows is that I obviously don't have my priorities straight. And this post isn't just about child care. It's about all of her expenses. Rent, phone bill, electric, and whatever else expense is related to being a responsible parent. It's not just $50. The point is, YOU as a single parent are solely responsible for your child. Not the man you have been dating for a month. You wouldn't ask a friend of yours to kick in for babysitting if she asked you for a girls night out. If you couldn't afford the babysitting you would decline. You should have told him that it sounded nice but you can't afford the childcare. Then if he offered to pay for it, that's a different story. But to automatically assume that the man should is absurd. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:24:02 AM | | These people are just putting opinions in, they are nobody to tell you what you can and cannot do, Its where your heart is and if you want to help her out do it, its your decision. Why would it be insulting to a lady when a guy helps her out well thats a sign of insecurity. Half the people are talking rude in this thread and cussing over a small deal like this, This is how you can tell these people are ignorant and self-fish. Do what you want and where your heart is. Its not a mans obligation to help her out, its a choice. You do what you would want people to do if you were in that situation. Not everyone can be wealthy and be successful. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:24:49 AM | he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
^^
Just make dang sure she is good relationship material for him!! Dang bleepin' sure! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:16:31 AM | How on earth did I miss this thread?
OP ... you're a few fries short of a happy meal eh?
Your profile ... my goodness ...
And now you think you're going to win a woman's heart by offering to pay for her daily living?
Well, if that's the only way you can get a woman.
Realize that you will attract what you're asking for
And then you'll be back on here wondering ...
What the Hell happened?
OP ... please come back and let us know how it's going.
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:31:15 AM | Unless you have been a single mom or possible raised by one, you should not be posting on this topic. You have no idea. Excuse me? I can't believe that this statement is ever made in this forum let alone the frequency that I see people uttering this crap.
I know a lot of men and women that are in my age group that have chosen to not have children. I would trust their judgement a hell of a lot more on a topic involving my children than I would most people on this site with kids.
I am a single mom and I paid for my own childcare when I went out on dates. The absolute last thing I would have ever done would be to ask the gentleman to pay for something that is solely my responsibility.
Furthermore, if you can't find a friend to sit with your kids for an evening while you go out on a date, or a family member or whatever, then there's a huge problem with how you're running your life. When my children were little, I had absolutely no problem getting a friend to watch my children if I needed it... I was always available to watch theirs for an evening as well (as long as I wasn't working). It's a great barter system, some of you might look into that instead of crying that you're too broke to date.
I simply cannot imagine asking a guy for money for the sitter... to me it sits to closely with asking him to leave a few bucks on my nightstand...  | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:23:59 PM |
I would like to kindly point out that statistcally, men still are in a higher income bracket than women (in most cases, even for the same job). In general, single dads still make more money than single moms. On the other hand, if I were financially better off than a single dad that I was dating (and I really liked him and I knew he was not as well off as me,) yes I would help.
I would hope we make more...we actually work more as well...Statistically
79.5% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed
49.8% work full time, year round
29.7% work part-time or part-year
90% of custodial single fathers are gainfully employed
71.7% work full time, year round
18.4% work part-time or part-year
And Camille...perhaps we can also discuss the numbers in respect to more woman than men graduate high school....more woman than men have been entering university ....yet they are still working fewer hours and still complaining they earn less????
Love your profile...financially independent....no debt??? Yet it would seem you do not financially share in the dating costs....
You let the guy pay for you.....LOL…is there not a name for this?
And no I am no a single mother....I am a full time employed single father with custody of his children who has costs...who has had bills to be paid and did not have cs to subsidize my choices.....so I feel I have walked the walk....but still have no problem with anyone adding their 2cents.....
Christians also usually preach the virtue of tolerance, compassion and humility....perhaps you missed those lessons....and as a PK...I often found the hypocrisy of the parishioners amusing....as they talk a good story but rarely followed in the footsteps in real life….just in their cheap talk. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:04:21 PM | Wow, many negative opinions that do not reflect any of that statements in my post.
Mr. Iceman-This post is about should a guy help a single mom, not single dads, they gems also. Good for you that you appreciate your mom.
Let me clarify, when I say "help" I do not mean to be soley financially responsible for the women and the childrens every financial need. If my statement came across that way, I was not communicating clearly.
My point was that the responses on this post appeared very negative and I felt a need to point it out. I was hoping to give a different point of view. I didn't realize it would invoke such anger. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:10:01 PM |
Mr. Iceman-This post is about should a guy help a single mom, not single dads, they gems also. Good for you that you appreciate your mom. fair enough, we will stick to the topic and why would you think im angry?
Well my mom did so much for us and sacrificed so much for us and it was appreciated and now she gets to live comfortably , with no stress, money in hand, vacations she's enjoying life and what it has to offer.
So let me ask you this,Do you think its okay for a man to help with the babysitting costs in order to take you out on a date? | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:01:12 PM | Iceman, thanks for sticking to the subject...
Do I think it is ok for a man to offer to help? Sure.
Do I think a woman should accept? It depends. I think there are to many factors to give a yes or no.
I know you didn't do this, but to basically call a single mom a hoar or prostitute because she may accept if a man graciously offers to help out with babysitting, well..to me those comments were just in poor taste.
Now, it is my turn to ask you a question. Have you ever dated a single mom? | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:09:18 PM | Let me clarify, when I say "help" I do not mean to be solely financially responsible for the women and the children’s every financial need. If my statement came across that way, I was not communicating clearly.
My point was that the responses on this post appeared very negative and I felt a need to point it out. I was hoping to give a different point of view. I didn't realize it would invoke such anger.
LOL...where is the anger? Help out...or equally participate in the cost of the dating or going out not just "help" one way......
And you have nothing further to say about the financial health of custodial fathers....past your comment on guys being better off >>>>different view would be both parties equally contributing to the investment of a new relationship and not just the guy paying for the privilege of dating you and then your expectation or magnanimous view that we can help with the cost of sitters....reality is seemingly you are putting money into your situation and still expect the guy who is to date you to occasionally contribute to your sitter costs…indicating he will be the only one paying for the dating costs….
Please enlighten where there is supposed anger? I just suggest one should understand it is a two way street in today’s society…you should have no problem with the premise what is good one way is equally good the other?.....I would suggest that the prudent individual quickly defines the user in this new dating scene!!
And I have dated single mothers....some would offer or would pay some of the costs like a movie or a drink....others would melt away whenever the bill arrived.......some are users...some are really interested in where things might go....
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:38:04 PM |
I know you didn't do this, but to basically call a single mom a hoar or prostitute because she may accept if a man graciously offers to help out with babysitting, well..to me those comments were just in poor taste. I don't understand the issue. A woman that accepts financial compensation for romantic interests is selling herself. I don't care what the money is used for, she could get a pedicure with it for all I care, it's still putting a price on spending time with someone.
I'm all for the gentleman paying for the dates until it is established that there is a relationship going on... I think it's quite chivalrous. It runs along the same lines as opening my door, holding my chair and taking my hand to lead me on the dance floor. But to press a wad of cash into my hand at the end of an evening... no thanks... I can't imagine a greater insult and fortunately, in my lifetime, I've never experienced someone being so crass. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:51:13 PM |
I have great credit, I have no debt, I try to take 1 or 2 classes a semester to make a better life for myself and my children and work fulltime. For most women, it is easier to not seek child support because it is a dead end road.
We are precious gems, sacraficing our lives for our children, and wanting to find someone to share this great life with, and you people are himming and hawing over $50.
I do not enjoy being with people who are legalistic, narrow minded, or to opinionated about God. He is omnicient and all knowing, not us. Please don't act like it.
I am finacially responsible, I own my own vehicle, have excellent credit, no debt (except education)....:) value quality over quantity, I am looking for someone with a similar attitude about finances since that can be a major issue in relationships
I am not using your religion…..I grew up in the home of a minister…I spent years in and around many ministers and pastors of various denominations and the members of their churches…and in review of your own profile you speak about similar attitude about finances….which based on your comments about assisting the cost of the sitter when you also suggest you have nothing to offer in the actual dating suggests your view of similar is he pays…and you receive?...so I know the type and know the attitude of some who feel entitled to receiving….so there is no attack on your religion…or using it as a platform….?
I know you didn't do this, but to basically call a single mom a hoar or prostitute because she may accept if a man graciously offers to help out with babysitting,
I would never suggest or call a single mother a prostitute….that would really be unfair and harsh…..and not to the single mother….....where some single mothers have no problem accepting you taking them out…accepting the dinners and whatever else…and now you belittle the $50 that the sitter represents.
I might where will yuou find the greater degree of honesty?
Lint….you have bills…I have bills…you have children…I have children….yet you see as chivalrous a guy paying to date you…he pays….he is putting his time and effort and financial resources into building a potential relationship ….where often some single mothers just see this as a tool for getting out and away for some free time….knowing there will never be anything in the relationship. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 4:27:31 PM |
As I read it, Teal, you and the single mother have bills to pay, so you want it to be dutch, especially if it isn't going to be a potential relationship.
Right? This is what I'm reading as well... if a man wants me to go dutch on a date, then it's not really a date in my opinion. It's friends getting together to go out... so don't be surprised if I invite others on this night out as well...  | |
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