KCGC
| | Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 126 | |
| | If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?Page 6 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | I'm I single mother. And I saw Hell No. If the guy wants to out of the kindness of his heart that's all on him.but its not the guys responsibility to help someone he is dating. And if the girl can't afford her life style then she should check what is important first. Meaning hot water vs nails getting done.  | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 10/2/2011 7:11:21 PM | This was a loaded question from the getgo and was bound to get negative responses, why would you post something like that here OP? On a forum where it seems like single mothers are generalized and bashed a lot this is just a loaded gun and is pointing at someone's head.
You have no moral obligation to do anything, if you feel like you want to do something nice for mum/child then that is wonderful and good for you for being a generous person. and a good man. Now having said that, messaging a teenager is not only inappropriate would make me not want you around my child.
I haven't dated for a few years so i dont know what the norm is but my guess is if woman can't pay for her share of a date then maybe she should wait until she is in a better place or be going places that are inexpensive or free because she automatically is going to be labeled by someone in your life as a gold digger/looking for a 'baby daddy'. This is humiliating for a woman...
I think his question was doomed to fail from the very beginning.. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 10/9/2011 9:55:39 PM | Not only should you not be giving her money but she should not be taking it. You already new this thats why you are trying to justify it. Does she want a healthy relationship or a second bank account?
I personaly would find it dificult to resist being in a young persons life with out doing all I could do to help out but dating is not the time to do this. Of course birthdays and special events should not be over looked and offering to take them all out seems to me to be healthier way to get involved. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 10/14/2011 10:36:43 AM | | WOW, this post is so random, for one if they are not YOUR kids then let their father worry about supporting them, and what kind of women are you dating that would allow you to help support her kids? If you live together then you should be splitting the household bills, but if you are just dating, keep finances out of it. If she is accepting, she is probably using you. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 10/14/2011 9:24:18 PM | | I think If he is going to assume the role as her man than he should provide for her. This should be a mutual. Is he stupid no, he is letting her know what to expect for him as a husband. How would she know unless he puts it out there. He already understands his role and is letting her know that. He isn't paying for sex or time, he is making sure that his partner isn't lacking and that the family is stable. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 10/14/2011 9:37:44 PM | | A woman who is single with childern really is looking for a positive male role model to help her raise her children. They don't want to be labled they just want respect. Thats why communication is so important. Men already understand what they should and shouldn't do for a women, whether or not they do it for you is their choice. A husband is what most women want, if they are honest. When choosing a man we must chose wisely because all men are not husbands even if they marry you. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 10/14/2011 10:51:39 PM | I had to check the date stamp that this question was even from this century...
WHAT the frick???
and dare I admit that even after all the posts, I went and had a look at the profile of OP... my goodness, that's just shot my creep factor senses up to 15 out of 10....
I'm a single mom of one, and anybody offering me cash to pay for my 'bills' is not going to be seen again. I know that even if I was in the region of considering dating, I alone am responsible for the management of my monetary matters, not some guy who buys me lunch or coffee every so often.
My son = my {and his bio father's} responsibility.  | |
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meg707
| | Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 138 | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/7/2011 3:48:54 PM | Should the woman help out the man who has kids of his own? I believe this is a judgement within your own relationship. I am a widower that raised three kids alone and didn't expect a lady to help me with it, maybe I needed somebody to help me out. No, not really. Outside of living together or a marriage, a partner should not be obligated or forced to help out with another's household perpetually. After all, the person needing the help created that foundation in another relationship in the first place. In addition, doesn't a woman spend time with who she wants to?
You want to quickly ruin a friendship or relationship, start exchanging money back and forth. Somebody will be resentful at sometime. Now, if you have a long standing relationship on good terms and your lady asks for a favor, sure why not try and accomodate. However, I would expect the woman that loves and cares for me to be willing to return the favor should I face a difficult problem. That is what good friends do for each other. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/8/2011 8:45:04 AM | | I haven;t read all the replies, so I'm probably repeating something already said, but the only people obligated to financially support a child are the children's parents. A woman is not making a sacrifice to spend time with her date, and if she makes you feel like she is then she is not fit to be in a relationship. She should want to be with you. A man owes a woman nothing apart from his time. If you feel she is short of money and needs some help from time to time, then it is your choice whether you help her by paying a bill, take her food shopping, or just give her a massage to help her destress. I am a single parent, a student, and on a low income but would never accept money for the raising of my child from anyone bar his father, or other immediate family if they offered and I was really struggling. I would never ask anyone other than my ex, and have turned down cash loans from friends and dates (I had a guy offer to buy me a car to get to uni) because I feel I should be independant, and my friends, boyfriends and/or dates are there for company, not financial gain. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/8/2011 10:54:06 AM | I read the post and all the replies on this thread. This is an area that I think each individual situation would be different. If we're driving down the road and we are all in the car together and I pull into an ice cream shop, I'm going to pick up the tab and not even think about it. It is nice is she offers to pay for her kids but I'm not going to take it. When it comes to back-to-school shopping, the power bill or private school tuition... I think that belongs to the mother.
When you are dating a single mother the kids are part of the deal. The same applies with women dating a single father. You don't get one without the other. For it to work you need to win the hearts and minds of the children as well as the mother. Notice, I did not say buy the hearts and minds.
Of course, what do I know? I'm divorced and on Plenty of Fish. Here's one for you, I actually take the three-year-old daughter of my ex-wife and her new husband with my daughter and I when we go to Walt Disney World. Since I invited her, I paid. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/9/2011 2:54:12 PM | | As a woman in the year 2011, Sir, I think you are misguided. Women make choices to have children, once they do, they are their responsibility and the responsibility of the men that contributed to their birth. I do not believe you have any moral obligation on any level to contribute to a woman and her children financially; ecspecially in the beginning of a new relationship. Yes, I think being a gentleman and buying dinner or treating, if you so choose, is galant, but buying diapers or school supplies or paying bills is ridiculous, to say the least. I wouldn't think any decent woman would not expect you to financially compensate her for her time; if she does, RUN! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/11/2011 4:30:01 PM | Nope, you are completely wrong and I'll tell you why; because you said this:
She is making a sacrifice in fiving hime attention while she's already busy with her kids...
She isn't with him because she's doing him a favor. She's with him because she is lonely and is looking for a faithful compainion, same as he is. The fact that she has kids, though he understands that she is a parent going into this relationship, is her own deal. There is no obligation whatsoever to assist her in the lifestyle situtation that she has put herself in.
Don't get me wrong, it would be very nice of him to OFFER to help out with some things, but his assistance is a privalege, not a right. A gentleman should offer to help out a som, but her financial predicament is her responsibility, not his, and therefore he shouldn't be held accountable for her and HER children's expenses. I am a single father myself, but I in no way feel that there is any obligation to any childless, single woman I date to help me and my son with our expenses. I realize the typical viewpoint on this matter is that I shouldn't have to because I'm a man, but that just simply isn't fair to us guys. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/12/2011 7:24:33 AM | This is NOT a moral obligation it is more like "Pimp & Whore" and buying someones love
There is a wealthy business 'man' in my town that keeps more than one woman on the side .. He's been doing it for YEARS. Each of the women have children and he pays their rent, buys them cars so he can have sex with them. I have met of 'few' of his 'women' within different social circles at work and casually - and I have no respect for them nor does 1/2 the town.
These women always tend to find 'other' poor schleps who have money & will pamper them, and fool the men into thinking they are 'the only one' they are having sex with! They have 'other' guys on the side too for their own sexual entertainment because their 'sugar daddy's' are not that great in bed or attractive!
I just had a man I was dating dump me for a friggin' retarded reason (his ex wife & his best friend, blah blah blah WTF? ) so he could chase one of the most notorious of these women.... I tried to warn him about her but he didn't listen. He's gonna' have to learn the hard way! The Idiot even introduced her to his Muslim Mother (lol) I can't help but think "You poor bas%''*$ ... you actually THINK you can be PROUD of this one? " DUDE! Your wife cheated with your best friend and now you want the 'whore'? WTF? Guess my telling him of her willingness to have anal sex was a good thing or something?
If you want to be a 'pimp' and have a whore for a girlfriend go for it... it is a free country! You better also pay for their Full Panel STD Test before you sleep with them IMHO. The women I know who do this are not moral people & manipulate manipulate manipulate and take serious risks sexually.
I'd rather work my 40 hrs a week, shop at the dollar store and support myself and go without sex and a man than be someone's whore. Or date a man who has to 'buy' my love | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/12/2011 8:07:10 PM | Part of the reason I do not dive right in to go to a mommys house, or to meet the kids is that I hate seeing kiddos go without; I get attached. Kids also get attached; so the dates are done: at my house, out and about, or at your place (when the kids are away for the weekend)
Many guys DO feel obligated.......for the exact same reasons.
However; the actual answer I have for your question is:
Ya right
Do you feel obligated to pay for the extra upkeep my sports car requires over a Toyota 4 banger?
exxxacory | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/12/2011 9:19:31 PM |
This is NOT a moral obligation it is more like "Pimp & Whore" and buying someones love
There is a wealthy business 'man' in my town that keeps more than one woman on the side .. He's been doing it for YEARS. Each of the women have children and he pays their rent, buys them cars so he can have sex with them. I have met of 'few' of his 'women' within different social circles at work and casually - and I have no respect for them nor does 1/2 the town.
These women always tend to find 'other' poor schleps who have money & will pamper them, and fool the men into thinking they are 'the only one' they are having sex with! They have 'other' guys on the side too for their own sexual entertainment because their 'sugar daddy's' are not that great in bed or attractive!
I just had a man I was dating dump me for a friggin' retarded reason (his ex wife & his best friend, blah blah blah WTF? ) so he could chase one of the most notorious of these women.... I tried to warn him about her but he didn't listen. He's gonna' have to learn the hard way! The Idiot even introduced her to his Muslim Mother (lol) I can't help but think "You poor bas%''*$ ... you actually THINK you can be PROUD of this one? " DUDE! Your wife cheated with your best friend and now you want the 'whore'? WTF? Guess my telling him of her willingness to have anal sex was a good thing or something?
If you want to be a 'pimp' and have a whore for a girlfriend go for it... it is a free country! You better also pay for their Full Panel STD Test before you sleep with them IMHO. The women I know who do this are not moral people & manipulate manipulate manipulate and take serious risks sexually.
I'd rather work my 40 hrs a week, shop at the dollar store and support myself and go without sex and a man than be someone's whore. Or date a man who has to 'buy' my love
U Mad bro? Y u mad though?
If other people want to be "pimps & whores", their business. Dosnt affect you any.
if the are happy with their arrangements, cool on them. | |
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