| | If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?Page 8 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) |
That's just my natural, ancient alpha male programming.
natural alpha male programming is actually to spread your seed to as many women as possible. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:21:20 PM | I agree. As a single mom, I don't expect anyone but myself and my child's father to support him. Now with that being said, I don't see any problem with the guy understanding the financial restraints of raising a child on your own and offer to pay for the date itself. I don't personally think that the guy should have to pay for every date no matter what, so though I don't have a lot of disposable income, I invite my dates over to my place and cook for them, we watch movies, hang out and play guitar hero, or just go out and enjoy the sites. Walking around a beautiful park, window shopping, maybe grabbing a coffee and finding a nice bench to sit on while talking. I mean not everything is based on money. But definitely not the responsibility of the guy to support her child(ren).
If things progress to the point where you guys are living together, then a conversation needs to be had as to the proper splitting of the bills. I also don't believe in joining the finances until marriage. He shouldn't have to pay for the child care of the child. Food and utilities are a little tricky but seriously, unless you are feeding several teenage boys, splitting the cost of the food and the utilities is okay. Clothing the children unless gifts for birthday and christmas should be the parents responsibility. Now if the person because this really applies to both men and woman, should want to help support that child in any way they can, the parent of that child should not always expect it just in case things don't work out.
Just my opinion. Sorry it was long winded. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/24/2012 8:40:54 PM | Holy crap! I only needed the subject line to have an answer. After reading the actual post, I'm double sure.
HELLS NO!
If you start dating, you cover your own responsibilities, and she covers hers. She should still be capable of that once you become seriously involved.
If he moves in, then they need to come to an arrangement on shared household financial obligations such as rent, groceries, utilities, etc... Ditto if they are married.
If he should CHOOSE to help, then kudos to him so long as it's in a limited fashion. If it becomes a constant, one way street of his money going to her just because she has kids from some other guy, there's likely to be a lot of resentment there that will tear the relationship apart.
But OWES her for her attention? What about the attention he's showing her in return? Does that not count for anything? The LEAST he can do, morally, is return the same level of physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and financial support she shares with him. She makes time despite the demands of her kids? Well, he's giving up the pre-child freedom he's entitled to by not getting a woman pregnant in order to be with her.
I'm sorry John. I lived that with my ex, both before and after having a son. It's noble and great to be the hero, but when you never have someone else ride in to help with that burden that's not even yours to carry, you only end up burnt out. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/29/2012 3:17:38 PM | "I think that single mothers are lucky to find someone who will accept that he is and will almost always be second best"
Right, firstly I want to say I disagree with the original post. Unless the guy is living with a woman, he shouldnt help her out financially! SHE is responsible for providing for her kids.
However, this statement infuriates me!! A single mother is LUCKY to find someone?! Buddy, any guy that gets to be with me and be introduced to my fantastic children is the lucky one! Why is there such a stigma attached to single mothers?! Some of us get divorced, it doesnt work out, whatever...But to make out like we should feel GRATEFUL if w could find someone???!!! PUR-LEASE! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/29/2012 3:45:00 PM |
Right, firstly I want to say I disagree with the original post. Unless the guy is living with a woman, he shouldnt help her out financially! SHE is responsible for providing for her kids.
However, this statement infuriates me!! A single mother is LUCKY to find someone?! Buddy, any guy that gets to be with me and be introduced to my fantastic children is the lucky one! Why is there such a stigma attached to single mothers?! Some of us get divorced, it doesnt work out, whatever...But to make out like we should feel GRATEFUL if w could find someone???!!! PUR-LEASE!
And apparently you cant read. That quote you posted says:
"I think that single mothers are lucky to find someone who will accept that he is and will almost always be second best"
Look again at THIS part:
"someone who will accept that he is and will almost always be second best"
THAT is the point he was making; not that single mothers are lucky to find someone, but that they are lucky to find someone that:
"will accept that he is and will almost always be second best"
Reading comprehension 101. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:49:37 AM | | If a woman is into her man, she is not making a sacrifice to give him attention. Rather she wants to give it to him. In the beginning of the relationship I don't think guys should hand out money to any woman. Get established first. Once established I think it's okay to be a little generous, but not to have the women expect a pay out on a regular basis. The pay out should be love, affection, adoration, respect. etc. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/30/2012 12:05:51 PM | Im a single mom of 2. One whose father disappeared for who knows what reasons. Maybe it was me he was ashamed of or maybe he wasnt ready to be a fathered. The others father i left because I wasnt situated to raise a 23 yr old. With that being said, Ive raised my children on my own. Im college educated and I did that while being pregnant. And I do not believe anyone is OBLIGATED to help out with another persons child/ren male and female alike.
As for some of the comments Ive read, there is no need to call this man the names and the like just because of his OPINION. Obviously he feels like thats something he HAS to do then thats him. No all women would take advantage of that. So you can call the woman who accepts his help a gold digger or compare her to a prostitute or an escort. Nor does she owe his D**k anything. If the man genuinely believes that he HAS to help her that often means he expects nothing in return.
Not saying that I would accept that because Im use to handling things on my own. And it is the responsibility of the PARENTS of the child/ren to provide for them financially. With that being said, it is the mans OPINION. Dont criticize him for how he thinks. Everyone does things differently.
I have been taking care of my children all this time. They get what they need from me. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 1/31/2012 8:53:42 PM | | A man should never have a any obligation to financially support a woman, kids or not. My feelings are even if a couple is married they should each input an equal amount into a joint account to pay bills, buy food, ect. What ever money each person has left over is theirs to do whatever they want. I have alot of married friends that put all of their incomes in one account then one alwys tells the other what they can or cant buy. THIS IS A GOOD WAY TO START A FIGHT! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 2/6/2012 3:42:41 PM |
Mom shouldnt be out getting drunk and having sex. Theres the problem. lol.
Would it be better if she wore her hair in a bun, wore her apron as she was slaving away cooking? (by the way, I do all that, minus the bun, usually just go for the straight ponytail).
God forbid a mom (who is also a woman) have sex! Gasp! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 2/6/2012 3:48:13 PM | I could have sworn I once replied to this thread..
I have never asked or expected a man to help or pay for a sitter.
It is my responsibility. Usually my parents will watch her and have her overnight anyway, because they enjoy having granddaughter/grandparents time. Sometimes they have asked me and taken her on vacationing with them during the summer, while I have to work. So my situation is a moot point as I rarely have anyone outside of family watch her. I have been asked if they would like to, to make it easier for me to go out, but I politely decline. | |
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