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 lulubree
Joined: 10/14/2010
Msg: 51
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I have to say i agree I have been single for nearly a year and have not been out on one date it's very disheartening I have not let myself go and think I am fairly attractive I make as much time as I can for myself when they are not with me but still nothing I get that it's a less than ideal circumstance but also feel that I am a good woman being passed up for no reason there are times when i just want to give up but I still have a part of me that wants a connection with someone else so it is a slippery slope hun and if you find the magic key that suddenly changes it please let me know lol
 sair29
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 52
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/31/2011 8:47:18 PM
ive never really had much of a problem dating. on the odd ocassion childcare been issue but if the guy wants to meet u he wont mind waiting till your free.
 Bladesmith81801
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 53
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 8/31/2011 9:35:46 PM
"It is a war out there .. what are your weapons and how do they compare to those of your competitors ?"

Pretty sure thats not the best worldview to have of the pursuit of a loving relationship.
 gothicgirl86
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 54
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/2/2011 6:34:18 PM
Seriously funkymonkey? Sounds like total bs to me. If a man can't accept your children, he's not worth it.
 DeathBy1000Dates
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 55
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/3/2011 5:34:36 AM
Wow... You really summed it up perfectly!
 taka40b
Joined: 7/29/2011
Msg: 56
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/3/2011 3:54:58 PM
ps i dont know how a single mum like u is still single if u are concact me , i am just new to this but i tell u wat u caught my eye and i wud like to heard from u
 CyndiB2011
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 57
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/3/2011 6:13:32 PM
To answer your question, "If you just want sex then you need to move on!!!!! " "why women put that on their profiles.

We put that on there because we are tired of meeting men who only think with their little head and only have sex on the brain. Sure this is a dating site but there is more to dating than casual sex. I know there are all kinds of people on here but the majority of the men that have contacted me want to talk sexual before they even ask to meet me. Talking about "YAWN". They immediately get deleted. If I wanted to be a whore, I'd be a rich whore and I wouldn't be looking for someone to date on a website. I'm just saying...

No offense intended....
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 58
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:20:09 PM
All I can say to single moms out there is if you want more dates and more dating options IMHO, it will require you to make yourself and your situation as attractive as possible.

The first would be things like working out, getting some new clothes, trying a new haircut, smiling more, maybe losing some weight, getting a makeover. The better a woman looks to most men, the more dating options she typically has. Not exactly a big reveal there.


The second would be getting a good career, getting educated, having a well disciplined child, getting good boundaries with the ex, creating time to meet and interact with other adults besides those that are kid related.

Maybe that's just a concept that is offensive to many women out there, I don't know, the idea that anyone can increase their dating options with hard work and it's not some game of "Well people should accept me for me no matter what!" I find usually the people who demand that the most tend to give it the least.
 CyndiB2011
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 59
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:55:58 AM
You make a very valid point and I agree to a point but try to understand that there are some real crazy people on here and there are actually a lot of women on here that are just looking for sex. With respect to the men - how are they to know the difference if it's not on the profile? Also, that really doesn't have to be a negative comment. Some men appreciate a woman with morals.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 60
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:07:37 AM

You make a very valid point and I agree to a point but try to understand that there are some real crazy people on here and there are actually a lot of women on here that are just looking for sex. With respect to the men - how are they to know the difference if it's not on the profile? Also, that really doesn't have to be a negative comment. Some men appreciate a woman with morals.


This is actually similar to what I was talking about in another thread. Stating things like "not looking for just sex," "looking for no drama," etc. are pretty much a given unless stated otherwise. And by taking the time to iterate it, all you're doing is telling male readers that you having a good share of baggage and/or that you're jaded.


With respect to the men - how are they to know the difference if it's not on the profile?

The particular things that you're talking about go without saying.


Some men appreciate a woman with morals.

I would go so far as to say -most- men. However, writing a bunch of negative information doesn't necessarily say anything about your moral compass. People can be moral -and- damaged.
 sassy0913
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 61
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 10:29:49 AM
I have problems dating, mainly because the guys I meet (on here especially) want to do something NOW vise giving me time to make plans for a sitter. I'm not a single mom by choice, I was married had kids during my marriage , got divorced and now here I am. I don't want guys to meet my kids because as someone mentioned breaking up with one person is hard enough I don't want my kids caught up in that.

Here's the deal though. I don't really care anymore that I have a hard time. Good things are worth the wait. I no longer wait for a guy to go out and have fun. I find a sitter and I go out, if i meet someone great if not cool.

I am friends with my ex, our marriage didn't work out but we put our kids first some guys have had issued with me and my ex being friends....well news flash we got divorced for a reason.

Someone will come along in time. I'm 28 which in my opinion is still pretty young, and I am picky. Im not looking for a baby daddy my kids have one of those, but long run if things work out the guy needs to have the potential to like my kids.

I have other things working against me like being in the military for some reason that seems to shy guys away, maybe its the moving maybe its something else...idk... but heres the deal. I am who I am they can accept it or not. I'm happy with me and someone else one day will be happy with me too.

You have to find a way to be happy with yourself before you can really date.
 WildAndFree3
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 62
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:22:32 PM
I don't have any problems with being asked out, just with finding good child care in the evening. I think the biggest key to getting asked out is just talking about yourself to the guy and let them get to know you. So many single parents are so used to putting their kids first all the time that they will just talk about their kids.
 lovelybaker4u
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 63
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/5/2011 8:58:31 PM
I was married when I had my kids. I am working full time and taking care of my own myself. I am just looking for someone to share my life with that will accept a pre-made family. It seems to me most men think really low of single moms because of the generalizations made. Not all of us got pregnant at a young age without being married.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 64
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/6/2011 6:45:41 AM

Why is it that you, and so many other single moms have trouble understanding that once you have a kid(s), that you are going to have trouble dating...?


Do all single moms have problems with dating?

I've never had a problem 'dating' as a single mom. Just like anything else worth while... it takes time and effort.

I am just looking for someone to share my life with that will accept a pre-made family.

Maybe it's just me... that sentence seems like your a bit desperate. Just sayin..
 fatbarbie
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 65
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/6/2011 8:55:35 AM
How does that sound desperate?
That's like saying a woman who doesn't want a woman beater and drug and alcohol addict is being desperate and selfish.
If I'm going to be in a relationship, I want the man to accept my child as it is, my little family. If he can't accept that, I can't accept him. I don't think that equates desperation. It equates standards for the sake of the child/ren involved.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 66
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/6/2011 9:13:43 AM

That's like saying a woman who doesn't want a woman beater and drug and alcohol addict is being desperate and selfish.
If I'm going to be in a relationship, I want the man to accept my child as it is, my little family. If he can't accept that, I can't accept him. I don't think that equates desperation. It equates standards for the sake of the child/ren involved.
Im shaking my head trying to figure out how is that a valid comparison? okay then

Ummm are you saying that the guy you are dating has to accept your children? correct me if I'm wrong and I misinterpreted what you've posted? Personally I think children should not be involved in the relationship until it becomes exclusive.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 67
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/6/2011 1:32:46 PM

How does that sound desperate?

Like she's more focused on a man in her life then her kids being healthy and happy.
Like I said... Maybe it's just me... please pay attention.
I also have to agree with iceman

I think children should not be involved in the relationship until it becomes exclusive.
 PAHighlandlass
Joined: 4/6/2011
Msg: 68
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:13:20 PM
My biggest problem I have is most men have kids too and what to do the whole Brady bunch style dating. Ummm no. Or they want me to come hang out at their kids sporting events with them. Again No.

Anyone I date is NOT meeting my kids. I have 50/50 custody with my ex. We are very civil and their Dad sees them everyday.

I am not look to get married again for a very very long time if ever again. Just looking for someone to share my time with. Not my children's. My children do not need to see men come in and out of my life.
 3xsacharmsotheysay
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 69
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/6/2011 6:16:09 PM
Sorry OP that you had to read some of these CADS remarks. Being a singe mom has it's challenges for sure. I am guessing from your picture that yours are young. Whether the kids are high school age or pre-school age they all present some type of issue. It has nothing to do with your appearance and trust me any man WORTH having doesn't think that you have and will let yourself go because you are "a single mom".

Mr. Fishey had some good advice. You need to schedule some adult time for yourself. Yes you have others to consider and it sounds as though their dad isn't in the picture much. You need to show your children by example and that you come first. It you want happy and productive children than show them a happy and productive mom. You are smart not to bring a man into their lives until you have dated someone for a while and it has become an exclusive relationship. You just have not met the right man. Become an active part of your community, attend singles groups at church and thru meet-up sites in your area. Surround yourself by the types of people you want to attract and it will happen. Engage in the things you like to do and you will meet someone with a mutual and common interest. Best of luck to you!!
 fatbarbie
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 70
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/7/2011 1:45:51 AM

I am just looking for someone to share my life with that will accept a pre-made family.


Sounds to me like she is saying...
I'm not looking for a lay.
I'm not looking for a gold digger.
I'm not looking for someone who's a piece of trash.
Sounds to me like she's looking for a person to get to know, and vice versa, become exclusive with, and one day share a life with that person. BUT... They must accept the fact that she does already have her little 'pre made' family.

Kinda like saying.. Don't message me if you can't handle the fact that I'm a mother.
*shrug* I didn't see desperation in that line.
And yes, I agree...
Children SHOULDN'T be involved in any relationship until it's exclusive.

But having standards such as being clean and honest is just as important as having a standard of 'don't be a d--che; I have kids, so you need to be ok with that, period'.

Nothing like having a man there, long term, THEN realize that.. hey... This is a pre made family. Nevermind.
NOT COOL. Been there done that.
 lovelybaker4u
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 71
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/19/2011 7:25:02 PM
fatbarbie that is exactly what I am saying.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 72
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 9/19/2011 10:54:59 PM
If a man knows your a single mom, then this is common sense:

They must accept the fact that she does already have her little 'pre made' family.

I mean seriously.... have you ever heard of someone dating saying...."hey, you don't have like my kids or accept them....just me"
That's stupid.
So if a person with kids is really looking for someone to share their life with......... THAT is a no brainer IMO and really shouldn't need to be voiced out loud (or in this case in writing).
 Believe824
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 73
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 10/27/2011 9:00:47 PM
[most men assume that I do not have time for them.]
I have a friend an hour away (worth the drive). I just can't jump in the car and go to him although I would like to.
We have an ongoing date night which is great because it is planned. However, we both miss each other and there are times that I could make the trip because I am off work but kids are in school.

[but I'm too Hung up on the age difference ]
My oldest asked me not to date anyone his age or younger and I respect that.
Besides, men my age have probably been through the same as I and I'm kinda laid back although I appear to be active - for my children.

Timing is everything when you have kids. I do not have a "social life" so I don't have to worry about breaking other plans to go on a date.
I have full custody. He has visitation anytime with a 24hr notice but he never exercises it. I have "begged" once in a while.

[Only because I do not wish to pay $50 for a sitter]
One thing I have done is shared child care with a neighbor. They are married and I watch their kids so they can have a date night together and they watch mine so I can have one too.
 Believe824
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 74
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 10/27/2011 9:26:43 PM
[it depends on how confident you are or how hot you are]
I am independant - I was forced into it by the death of my husband.
I don't condider myself "HOT" but I'm not bad and I have been told that I am a good looker.
However, the guys that message me sexy, hot stuff, ect are more looking for something other than a relationship or dating. Beauty is only skin deep and it will fade in time.
Inner beauty will never fade. The way you look at each other goes beyond the face, boobs and butt.
I worry about my weight, finnces, ect like everyone else. I have been doing it alone for years.
I have no problem with "offers" however anyone I choose to date must be able to accept that for now, I have children during the day and eventually, they will grow up and move out of the house and he will have me to himself.
It's finding the right person that is willing to be with you through the ups & downs for that lasting relationship that you both can be proud of.
 Believe824
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 75
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 10/27/2011 9:39:10 PM
[not always easy to get childcare for going on a date]
This seems to be the biggest hinderance to all single parents.

Plan on a once a week or month "date night".
This way, you will always have a day to meet someone or a day to yourself.

I babysit my neighbor's children so that they can go out a couple times a month. In return, they watch my children so I can.
Neither of us pay child care. We would both be home with the kids anyway - what's a few more LoL

If I had to pay for a day or all night sitter to date, I would never be able to justify that in my budget.

Although I have had men offer to pay for child care, I can't bring myself to allow that for a date. I do not feel that he should be responsible for the cost.
I have also had a man say - bring the kids. Well, that's kida awkward too.

It will happen - it does happen just give it time.
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