| | Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 5 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | | I also have problems with dating. Been single for 9 yrs now and only had 2 dates. | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 2:15:45 AM | | I think the UK do it alot differently to the US, when it comes to dating. Mainly because UK guys don't tend to look past the first date, upon meeting ;) That they don't think 'oh, damn it, i'm gonna be stuck with her kids'....................being a bit opened minded gets you a long way in life and relationships ;) | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 3:36:12 AM | I have been on here for a while and I am single mom who works fulltime retail. I can tell you its tough, I spend so little time with my son that I hate to pay for a sitter when I am not working. A couple pieces of advice:
Log on and stay on for minimum 5 min no more than 30 min everyday (a couple times if you want) this seems to put you on a different screen and emails come pretty quick.
The other thing is try craigslist for childcare and only offer a flat rate, never do hourly ($20-30 for the night sounds better and is the going rate for fullday daycare in WA) I have found 2 great gals on there that were with me long term (3yrs) and you want to make sure your going out sitter is different from the work sitter (easier on the sitter, so she will say yes more)
I am sure you know this already but please don't bring your kids around any new guys (they are kind of flaky at first and kids no matter what will freak them out even if they have kids and/or love kids, take time to be you before you are mom with your date.
Be open to communication and seek out profile you like and/or rate images, I go there firt when I log in. Also remember men need a few signals that you are interested, but they like to pursue so don't be overly eager to respond...
If you can get away from referring to yourself as a single mom, and talk less about what you need as a mom and focus on things you'd like to try or get back in to.
Good luck and stay happy! | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 9:13:26 AM |
can't stand it when people assume that dating a single mum, means paying for their kids............that is utter balls! NO MAN has ever paid for my kids and NO MAN will never pay for them. Please people, stop assuming that!!
So then are we to assume that you will not be living in a long term relationship with any guy while your kids are still with you?
Or that if you do, you will of course pay for everything for you and your kids... ie you will pay the larger portion of all utility expenses, housing and food expenses? If you go out as a group, you will pay for your kids, and the guy will only pay for himself and perhaps you? Likewise if you go on a trip, go to a restaurant etc...
You're absolutely sure...?
Then who would want to date you? Afterall, most guys do want the dating to lead to a relationship eventually... | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 11:24:35 AM | Im replying to the original post...
Nope. Dont have a problem when it comes to dating/getting asked out. If anything, Im probably the one who drags it out by a little correspondence with someone before actually meeting. | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 11:45:06 AM | Cause I really just dont care? lol
not to sound rude or cold, but, I dont put much emphasis on wondering. Dont get me wrong, we all have needs and wants, but, perhaps some put so much emphasis on it, that it can be a turn off to others and be construed as needy/desperate? | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 12:59:01 PM |
why River girl you don't have problems getting asked out and others do?
Because unlike many who sit her wallowing in self pity river appears to put herself out there to be approached, she seems to have a outgoing personality and knows what she wants in life
If you do not find yourself attractive if you do not think your a catch and you use your kids as a reason then how is anyone else expected to think more of you than you even think of yourself? | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 1:08:21 PM |
Because unlike many who sit her wallowing in self pity river appears to put herself out there to be approached, she seems to have a outgoing personality and knows what she wants in life
If you do not find yourself attractive if you do not think your a catch and you use your kids as a reason then how is anyone else expected to think more of you than you even think of yourself? Notice the question was directed at Rivergirl? and did you noticed she answered... | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 1:12:03 PM |
because unlike many who sit her wallowing in self pity river appears to put herself out there to be approached, she seems to have a outgoing personality and knows what she wants in life
I agree..... she seems to be a cool chick .....
She sounds like she would be a AMAZING girlfriend..... | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 1:23:27 PM | thank you for your compliments dad2stay and hammer 
hammer, you know I only date Kings hockey fans  jk
cdn, what was your reason behind asking me the question that I answered?
I do agree that confidence in who you are as a person is an attractive approachable trait. We all get down in the dumps sometimes about dating/life, etc., but, some may unknowingly exude that, resulting in men shying away from asking you out. | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/2/2011 1:42:08 PM | Entering a relationship is different.
I wouldn't want a guy I was dating, to meet my kids, until we'd been together a good 6 months. Call me weird or old fashioned but I do not allow my children to be involved with a guy, unless I know he is for keeps and so far, neither kid has been introduce to a guy I have dated.
I'm sorry but I have to disagree with you m_church, I pay my bills, I pay for my kids and I will continue to do so, until they leave home. If I was to be in a relationship, long term and the guy moves in or vice versa, then things will need to be discussed. But I will never assume that a man will have to pay for my children. If we go out, i pay for my kids (be it a restaurant, cafe or zoo). If a guy wanted to pay, under no pressure, then he can do so but whilst I have blood pumping through my veins, I will supply for my kids.
I'm not going to wallow in self pity or mull over mistakes made. I'd like to believe that I am a strong woman, who doesn't need to depend on another, to live my life. It would be fantastic, if i was to find a guy who loves me and wanted to spend his life with me and had no issue with my kids being part of the package. So far, I haven't found the right guy but one day I will.
If I'm not getting dates, then I look at why? What am I not doing right? And then change myself for the better. I may not be miss moneybags, I may not be slim or the ideal looking woman but you know what, I've lived life, I'm a strong woman, who puts her head down and ploughs through anything thrown at her. I love my kids and if a guy can't see the wood through the trees, it's his loss. | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 8:52:32 AM |
I wouldn't want a guy I was dating, to meet my kids, until we'd been together a good 6 months.
Well, first off, if I was dating a woman I'd be expecting to go to her plce once in a while... so do you hide the kids, farm them out or what....?
Also, what if the kids and the guy don't get along, period. That's 6 months of emotional investment etc possibly wasted...
And after dating a few single moms, I can honestly tell you that I'd also like to know what the kids are like fairly soon too. I've met my share of problematic kids. I'd be ending the relationship if they were. So I'd be wanting to meet them sooner rather than later. I wouldn't want to invest 6 or more months into a relationship only to find her kids are demonically possessed or whatever....
If I was to be in a relationship, long term and the guy moves in or vice versa, then things will need to be discussed.
So then you admit the guy could end up paying part of it that point. Which was precisely what I said. While dating, I can understand the guy not paying. While I might pay for a meal or an outting while dating... That would be my choice, rather than an obligation, but once you go LTR, then the guy is obviously going to end up picking up part of the tab for your kids... or you're going to need an accountant to sort out finances... | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 9:36:34 AM | i admit nothing, you're hust assuming, which makes an ass out of you :p
if a guy moves in, of course he will pay his share on bills/rent, like anyone sharing, would. As for anything my kids need, i pay for it, like i do now.
When i go out on a date or if a partner has stayed at mine, it will be when my kids are staying at their grandparents.
See, i think things through, everything through and in no scenario, does a guy end up paying for my kids, why do you have a problem with that? If you have issues or have been burnt in tha past, that's your issue, don't be tarring us all with the same brush. | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 9:46:15 AM |
Also, what if the kids and the guy don't get along, period. That's 6 months of emotional investment etc possibly wasted...
And after dating a few single moms, I can honestly tell you that I'd also like to know what the kids are like fairly soon too. I've met my share of problematic kids. I'd be ending the relationship if they were. So I'd be wanting to meet them sooner rather than later. I wouldn't want to invest 6 or more months into a relationship only to find her kids are demonically possessed or whatever....
This is how I viewed things when I decided to put myself back in the dating market. The last thing I wanted was to get emotionally involved with someone only to not have him and my child get along or me and his child not get along. Because I was looking for long term from the start I made the personal decision to introduce my Son to my date as a friend and then go from there. Kids are part of the package deal and if you are looking for an actual relationship and not just a casual date then IMO it is important to know from the beggining that the child in question is accepted as part of the package. | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:11:11 AM |
Wow Arlo! Im shocked! You always give me a hard time
Thank you for the compliments.
As for the dating and bringing men around children, I do stand firm that I keep my daughter out of my dating loop. I will spend some time talking to the man before actually meeting. When the date does happen, we go out. If I start to see him somewhat regularly, then maybe a few times I might have him come over.
Rivergirl Fan Club .... 3 Canadians .... 1 American ....
A pattern ... hmmm Most Canadian men are Hockey Fans ... | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:14:44 AM | LOL well, my grandfather did come from Canada...been there only once when I was 10. I have some family there as well as Michigan where my dad was born. Can't deal with the cold climate though. I guess I am a true California girl. Born and raised  | |
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| Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:33:31 AM |  I will if you throw some snow around this way. It never snows in the OC.
But along with the sunshine, you gotta take the earthquakes, fires, and floods | |
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