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 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 201
Do all single moms have problems with dating?Page 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

(QBS) No, not really, i am a firm beleiver in at least one parent being home more often than not with children ...


As do I, when circumstances allow a family the LUXURY of that choice. Sometimes, though, one has to face life with what one ACTUALLY DOES HAVE, and not with what one WISHES one had...

The sentences following the one I replied to are incoherent.

Arlo...
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 202
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 4:04:38 PM
Well, i never did it until i could afford the luxury, i couldnt afford to do so until i had gotten married, had baby #2, & had some time to build up savings & investments from my own job, in my early days as a Mommy i was in the work 60 hours or starve boat, i wish i could have given my Daughter the same amount of attnetion in her infancy/toddler years as i was able to give my son, but thats just the way my cookie crumbled. She understands though. But i dont feel good about daycare being my Daughters primary caregiver in her formation years. So i made damn sure when i had my next baby i was 100% ready. And yes, it is a luxury to an extent, & i am more than glad i am blessed with that luxury, but giving proper attention to your family; a necessity.

I imagine if one truly cant afford it, they dont do it. But having kids is much much more than just being an ATM machine to pay the bills & buy them what they want, they need a physical presence, quality time, nurturing time, teaching time, each individual child needs their own one on one time, they need family together time.
If a parent works 60-80 hours a week, unless they have a partner or spouse who is home with the kids, they are failing at being a parent, no matter how big their paycheck is. I personally think every parent should try to invest or start some sort of business so they can both earn a decent income & give a child the attention they need, unless of course it is an arrangement where there is a 2 parent home, one parent is devoted to career & the other parent to the home & family needs.
 hammertownguy62
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 203
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:56:39 PM
Canadian mothers get 1 YEAR PAID maternity leave ......

What do american mothers get for maternity leave?
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 204
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:47:22 PM

What do american mothers get for maternity leave?


6 weeks for vag delivery.
8 weeks for c-section.

then theres the FMLA act for husbands if they desire to help out, I believe.

I think you already knew that though

damn. sometimes I wish I had lived in Canada...
 ForumFlashLight
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 205
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:53:13 PM
American moms get, variously,

Fired! unjustly while pregnant for maternity leave

Offered four weeks UNPAID maternity leave

Six weeks paid maternity leave benefit advertised, then when pregnant they get....drumroll...You guessed it! Fired! for maternity leave.

Some very lucky mothers get four to six weeks maternity leave paid, and then they must separate from their baby and go back to work full-time, cold turkey, and start paying a lot for childcare.

I have a good friend who took both her babies to daycare at two months of age each, after her working pregnant to the very last day...had to keep her job because her HUSBAND, yes, she had one, had a job that did not make enough money to support the family.

That is IT for American mothers. Real maternity leave from working, long enough to properly nourish, bond and love a child into security, involves 2 years of staying home with said child, while the mother's partner supports them financially.

So, in America, Real Maternity Leave means having a husband.

And otherwise...they just suffer.

Canadian women are VERY lucky.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 206
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:05:05 PM

American moms get, variously,

Fired! unjustly while pregnant for maternity leave


yup, sometimes. mine was while i was on med disability..
sued Ralphs (grocery chain) back in 2000 when dr took me off for 2 months for high risk. scheduled to go back, not on schedule, got a few hrs that others gave me, then later that night, lost baby at 22 weeks. 6 days later, they term'd me. i went thru fair housing and they went after them. immediately they were ready to settle. took a few yrs of negotiating and it finally went thru.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 207
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:09:17 PM
Isnt living in Canada wonderful, paid maternity leave for a year, free health care, depending on what province you live in , cold winters, cold beer, peameal bacon, and Cora's restaurant and the Keg steak house, what more can you ask for except relocating the Toronto Maple Leafs
 hammertownguy62
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 208
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:13:47 PM
River is 1/4 canadian ... one of her grandfather is canadian ....

Relocate Disneyworld to North of Toronto ....

 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 209
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:16:20 PM
^^^^OMG dont get me started on pemeal bacon!!! YUMMM!!!!

My parents came back from Canada recently (visiting fam in Michigan, went up into Canada for some vacation). I SPECIFICALLY told him to bring me some..to which he did. A whole chunk. It was to divi up between us and my aunt. Wellllllllll, I asked about it, and suddenly it was all GONE! Just like THAT! I was sooooo mad!!!!

Soooooo, my fellow Canadians...
is this something I can order and have shipped to me? Puuuuhllllease?!

Back on topic...
other than that, no thanks. Dont really care for Canada. Im a California native girl. I dont do winters and snow. I prefer the sun, sand, and surf

I would, however, love to visit when its the Calgary Stampede. All those policemen and cowboys on horses
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 210
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:18:40 PM

River is 1/4 canadian ... one of her grandfather is canadian ....

Relocate Disneyworld to North of Toronto ...


Mainly German and Italian
(dangerous combo )

You mean Disneyland. Disneyworld is in Florida. Disneyland is in CA..lol

You would also have to relocate the Los Angeles Kings..

***Im still salavating over pemeal bacon***
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 211
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:32:50 PM
I'm in for Cora's!
That's my FAVORITE restaurant.

Peameal bacon ... they allowed you to take that over the boarder?

I thought no meat or fruit.
They took my sandwich when I tried to cross over the boarder.
I had only eaten half.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 212
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:47:07 PM
Not exactly sure how it was done. I wasn't there.
 tnmom66
Joined: 3/10/2011
Msg: 213
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:50:15 PM
My biggest problem has been my own psychological hangups over feeling like there is something wrong with me being in a relationship with someone other than my child's father, and when I have been out with single fathers, I keep thinking they should be with their child's mother. My mother divorced my dad when I was in my late 20's and when he remarried, it bothered me. It still does, and he's been remarried for 15 years or so, and my mother seems to have no regrets about the divorce, but I do think she is lonely since she retired.

And if someone tells me that their wife didn't want the divorce and wants to get back together , I put myself in that woman's spot. I didn't want my divorce and wanted to reconcile and it really hurt me when he started seeing someone else.

I am in therapy! I am told there are more blended families than intact ones, but I want to be in the minority. But my ex-husband remarried and my youngest child's dad never married me and doesn't want to and has intimacy issues, so I am unable to get my needs met, even though we get along well as co-parents.

I have less trouble getting dates or offers of dates than I would have expected. I personally prefer to date people never married, no kids, and I understand how a man might prefer the same. Hard to find it at my age, though!

It is undeniably harder to date when you have children. I have 3, 2 teenagers and a preschooler and I have little time, but I do have some to invest in a relationship. I am afraid I won't have enough flexibility to mesh schedules with a man.

I do think quality is more important than quantity when you are meeting men. I only want to go out with people who I really think have potential as far as being happy with me and my availability.
 tnmom66
Joined: 3/10/2011
Msg: 214
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 8:59:17 PM

Some men didn't want a relationship with me because I was a single mom, but they sure didn't have a problem trying to use me for sex. I would weed those losers out asap. Stay active & out there, the right guy will come along. It's better to be unattached then to be with a guy who's not the right one for you. Give it time, it takes time.


Good advice!! I had the same experience, but got stuck with a guy when I got pregnant, which further complicated my life.

I would hesitate to want to get involved with a man with 3 kids and 2 baby mommas.
 OMGyaa
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 215
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 9:08:08 PM
OMG dont get me started on pemeal bacon!!! YUMMM!!!!


What should I get you started on?

Btw Ice I hear they are looking for people in the finance dept of KFC , should I send you the link? Rumour has it almost all the Bruins fans work there.
 hammertownguy62
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 216
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 9:29:25 PM
I am not your typical guy ....

I dated a single mother with ONLY 3 kids .... 5,6 and 17 at the time.

I dated two single mother with 2 kids ....

I have a webkinz account .... and a webkinz ....
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 217
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/8/2011 9:41:51 PM
^^^

Your right, your not typical. That would pretty much be 5 kids that you were temporarily involved with :)

No offense but its not really worth bragging about. I was with a single mother and tried like*&^%$ to make it work. Especially because her kid really kind of liked me around. We even lived together. I felt like crap that our time was done because his mother couldn't accept my daughter.

So, if you start racking to many of those kids up... Just remember who is impacted when you leave.

Again, no offense. I know nothing about you or anything at all. For the thread itself I guess your the answer. As for me... I've still got nothing because being a single parent and dating is complicated.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 218
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:15:25 AM
At DisneyWorld here in FL, in the Epcot park, they had an amazing surround screen movie that was like a virtual tour of Canada, along with this really pretty song by Eva Avila, it was actually a very emotionally moving show, the national pride the actors put into it, i was very, very impressed.

I went to Canada as a child & all i remember is the ice cream shop that sold black liquorice ice cream at the border, the frigid cold, & how enthralled i was with the money & coinds because they looked different, & getting in trouble for misbehaving & spending most of the time in the hotel room, lol.

I would love to go back as an adult, as a child i did not give 2 craps that i was in Canada, as an adult i think it would be amazing.

But the only places i would ever live are CA & FL, i am a 100% Disney freak & could never be too far away from Disney for long. I grew up in So Cal & my favorite childhood memories were of Disneyland, & now that i live in FL & have kids of my own, i carry the tradition of taking them to DisneyWorld, which is much larger & has 6x the stuff to do. Magic Kingdom is my favorite park because it is almost the exact same as the Disneyland in CA park i grew up with.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 219
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Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:28:56 AM

i am a 100% Disney freak & could never be too far away from Disney for long. I grew up in So Cal & my favorite childhood memories were of Disneyland, & now that i live in FL & have kids of my own, i carry the tradition of taking them to DisneyWorld, which is much larger & has 6x the stuff to do. Magic Kingdom is my favorite park because it is almost the exact same as the Disneyland in CA park i grew up with.


Another Disney freak Where did you used to live in So Cal? I am in OC...but pretty close to the LA/OC and Riverside border. Where the fires usually occur :(
Disneyworld is so much bigger and have never been. I would love to take a visit there.

Where I visited in Canada as a kid, it was beautiful. I do love the snow, but I know I could never handle the constant cold. I remember going to Victoria Gardens, and my great aunt lived in Essex. She used to live above a funeral home (creeeepy as a kid visiting). My brother and I made a snowman in the front lawn. I remember her saying that was the first time the funeral home had ever had a smiling snowman in front
 ForumFlashLight
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 220
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:40:40 AM
ALL RIGHT, that's it, I am moving to Canada. I need a man, a bearskin rug and a fireplace to live in that kind of snow, though, so someone is going to have to step up to the plate!

Back OT!

OP, I hear you. We all want the un-fractured dream.

Unfortunately, all too often is appears that in order to keep a marriage together, one person has to fracture themselves into little sharp bits to fit in the space the other allows.

You might want to consider that there are many people much happier without their ex. And how feeling guilty doesn't really get you anywhwere, it is just a good reason for paralysis sometimes.

Let someone love you is my motto. Don't put conditions on a man with YOUR fears of what he can handle. Look him right in the eye with a big grin and tell him you're a double handful and let him figure out if he can handle it! LOL!

Personally, I will totally play Brady Bunch with the right man. I love kids! Didn't get to have as many as I wanted. I could have a house full of noise and toys and laughter and the smell of cinnamon apple pie and all the good stuff.

I would defy my stepkids to hate me, bwa ha ha, I would make them work at it til they dropped and gave in.

All right! Any takers? I'm moving to Canada!!!!!!!!!!!
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 221
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:43:19 AM
^^^I lived in a few different area's in So Cal....i was born in Laguna Beach, lived most of my childhood in North Hollywood, went to live with my grandparents in Diamond Bar in my teen years, & went to college & had my first apartment in Downtown Los Angeles (crappy ghetto part, lol), & was in San Diego before i decided to move to FL.
I moved because i could not find a good paying job, i was working 40-50 hours a week & barely making ends meet, so i moved to FL for a job.

If you can ever make it to FL, you should most definately visit DisneyWorld.
Plan to spend at least 4 days, because you will want to visit Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, & Hollywood Studios. Your little girl would be in heaven, there is just soooo much to do. Seeing Cinderella's castle for the first time is amazing, esp. for young girls. One day i would just love to sit at the part of Main Street that turns onto the road where Cinderella's castle comes into view, & watch the joyful teary reactions of the children who are at Disney for the first time.

If you go in the off peak times, you can get major discounted rates. The on site hotels are a rip-off, you can get a super cheap hotel in Kissimee, & a shuttle will pick you up at your hotel room in the morning & drive you so you dont have to deal with parking.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 222
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:47:53 AM
I remember some of those awful fires, i went home to visit family around 2003, 2004 i think it was, I was in Diamond Bar, & it just smelled like a BBQ, my Aunts porch & car were covered in ash, & when i blew my nose ash came out, i even had some ash on my clothes just from taking a walk, it was horrible.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 223
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:57:40 AM
Oh i have another great memory of Canada! Right before we had left for our Canada trip, i had saved a bird that had been attacked by a cat, & named her FreeLinda. I put her in a little box & gave her water from my hand. Her wing was broken & she could not fly.

I was around 8 years old or so, so this was was around 1988. I was so proud of myself that i told everyone & anyone who would listen about the bird i saved. To this day, my family still teases me about how everyone in Canada knows i saved a bird named FreeLinda.

I found at at the age of 30 from my father, that FreeLinda had actually died, & he told me that she had got better & flew away to spare my feelings.
So i felt like a chump for going around Canada telling everyone about how i saved FreeLinda.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 224
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 7:59:35 AM
Cnd-Iceman........ if you were ever approached by a little girl with black ice cream smeared all over her face telling you about a sick bird named FreeLinda back in the late 80's, that was me.

 mrskittykat79
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 225
Do all single moms have problems with dating?
Posted: 11/9/2011 9:21:37 AM
no you are not the only one. I am a single divorced mom of two beautiful babies and when I am not taking care of them I am putting myself out there and sometimes it might not always work but other times it does. You just have to believe that there are others out there searching for the same things that you are, and in the mean time feel free to send out lots of messages to guys on this dating website or any other that interest it doesnt hurt to try. Kathleen
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