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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 3:47:29 PM |
That's why it's polite to quote the post we are replying to... and that helps to clear up the matter in a very direct way. (Johnny Prophet, Message #474)
JOHNNY PROPHET: Thanks for your advice on the matter. Because I am relatively new to blogging and am not aware of any universal protocol of thread conduct, anything I pick up here is all news to me.
Typically, in the past I've just observed how things best fit together pragmatically, from demonstration. And so, one pattern I've noticed is that people usually use quotation-boxes when they are responding OUT OF SEQUENCE, i.e., addressing an article OTHER than the one just preceding his/hers. (This utility is demonstrated below, where I address QUADMOM in this same article.)
I'm hesitant to do this for an article JUST BEFORE mine, because (and perhaps this is just me) it places too much focus on the quoted statement, as if my whole blog is going to be based on one particular comment, which most times is not the case. It also appears to place heavy emphasis on the quoted content, as if it were the most significant thing stated in the other person's blog. And I feel like I have to figure out a way to diffuse the awkwardness of over-emphasizing a piece of content that's not actually intended to be addressed specifically nor carries any more weight than any other aspect of the article being addressed.
And, to demonstrate politeness to all readers, I will specifically quote whose quotation it is by listing their NAME and MESSAGE NUMBER just after the quotation, in case someone is curious about the exchange and wants to read that other person's whole article to get perspective on the exchange taking place. This is polite to readers because it enables them to be INCLUSIVE, whereas by not helping them with sleuthing the source of an out-of-sequence response, they are EXCLUDED, which contradicts the purpose of a PUBLIC forum. It becomes no different than a private email, which demonstrates not taking other readers' curiosity into consideration. But when the content being referred to is just above the article referring to it, people don't need any help in figuring out what's being referred to or why.
Typically, I've noticed that when people reference other bloggers by putting their handle in upper case, it usually takes care of the identity issue instantly. I guarantee that by placing your handle in caps and separating it from this response with a colon, as I did above, it becomes clear as a bell to all that I'm addressing someone -- that being you.
When you look at a script for a play, teleplay or screenplay, the character's name is always displayed in upper-case letters and placed just before the dialogue. It is a visually succinct way of designating the character. There is never any question as to whose line is next.
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but given that your article is just above mine, doesn't it look kind of like redundancy-overkill for me to requote you at the top of my article (unless I am EXTREMELY upset or supportive of its content and just want to emphasize this to you and other readers)? I have no desire to make a special point of what you said in that quotation I boxed above versus anything else you might have said in your blog to me. I simply want to respond to your article as a whole (it just so happens by coincedence that that one line pretty much WAS your whole article in this instance).
And the only reason I went to this length to clarify my resistance to your advice -- or more specifically, to clarify when I feel it's BEST to apply your advice is that I don't want you to feel that I completely ignored you or completely disagreed with you should I return to this thread and not apply what you said to me. But thanks, again, for your care and concern. I do appreciate your insight even though my response might appear defensive in certain ways. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 4:02:03 PM | QUADMOM:
It was a freak incident, I would say. What are the chances that a person's site handle could be mistaken for a salutory interjection? It is embarassing indeed, for you are right: I launched into a diatribe at you for nothing. So please accept my humble apology for my misguided response to this misunderstanding. And thanks for clearing this up for me. (BeatlesFanYeah, Message #471)
So...you're now actually chastising me for my lack of proper forum etiquette?
I'm sorry. I had no idea there were rule regarding how to type someone's screen name here if you are directing a comment toward them. Silly, silly me.
But I'll take the apology since its a discussion board, and as such doesn't mitigate tearing people or their opinions to shreds. Thats just dumb. I'm assuming we all real lives here.
But anyway, I'm sorry if my post was unclear and it came across in a manner which I did not intend. Thanks for the apology. We're very grown up, aren't we? (QuadMom, Message #472)
QUADMOM: I find it kind of funny (queer) that you take the time to give me kindly advice about what's going on around here, and yet, in the same breath, slap me with sarcasm, snottiness and condescencion. I guess a public apology isn't good enough for some people. It kind of reminds me of the Mark Twain quotation where he talks about how a woman will provoke a man into a hot retort and then condemn him for getting upset with her.
I went to painstaking lengths to explain where I drew my perspective from in my blog, so it wasn't as if I just blindly started throwing crockery at you from being disgruntled. Your complaint caused me to re-read your text and I recognized my error. But given what I believed was happening at the time, my disturbed response was lucid and logical.
1. As for me chastizing you for violating a perceived protocol on my part, this is not the case. I merely specified what it was about how you wrote your blog that caused me to misunderstand you. Do I not even have the right to explain myself? Hey, look, I was apologizing to you publically, so what more do you want?
As someone who has taught, I'm aware that "why?" is always more important than "how," but sometimes detailing the "how" can help explain the "why." I merely took the time to explain where I was coming from as a courtesy to you. I could have easily gotten upset without taking all the time required to be fair enough to support my position with an explanation of any sort. But even in anger, I still try to be fair.
2. You'll only accept my apology because it was issued on a "discussion board"? Please, don't do me any favors. I can care less whether you accept my apology or not. I reacted to what I felt was a misrepresentative summation of what I felt was an important point regarding black women. I recognized, after I was corrected on my misunderstanding of what I THOUGHT I was responding to, that I was in error and acknowledged my mistake with a disclaimer.
Because I was SO clear in my explanation as to how I reasoned my perspective on your response (and why I was unaware it was intended for someone else and not for me), it is easy to see WHY and HOW I was drawn to a misunderstanding. Lady, my initial response to you was an ACCIDENT and I fessed up to it. I could have easily just said "oops" and left it at that. I didn't have to go to the extreme lengths I went to allow you to understand what actually triggered my goof up. You obviously don't appreciate another's sincerity. Therefore it's wasted on you.
You may believe that nothing justifies taking someone to task for their opinions, but that's because you obviously believe you're above being held accountable for anything you say or do. Spare me the attitude, Mom. If what you say is connected to what I say in a way that I find inappropriate or offensive, I have every right to repsond as I see fit. No one has the right to play God with another. And by the way, YOU STILL MISS THE POINT!
My response wasn't to a difference of opinion, for crying out loud: I decried what I perceived was a gross misinterpretation of what I had said regarding black women that I believed made me look like a fool. In saying that my attraction to and preference for black women as female company was based on who they are as people on the INSIDE (a very significant, if not crucial, distinction) and to believe that something I spent over an hour composing was being summed up as the direct OPPOSITE of what I said (that being that my preference was based on their PHYSICAL qualities) would give ANYONE just cause to complain for being misunderstood and give them the right to re-explain their point to straighten this misunderstanding out.
I have a life, thanks, but I don't print blogs strictly for my health. You may believe that you have the prerrogative to say whatever you want uncontested, regardless of what you say, but this is irresponsible thinking. I know this is just a recreational site, but again, since I know you don't get it or don't want to: if someone believes oneself to be grossly misrepresented, and at the expense of their personal integrity, it would only be logical such a person would want to straighten such a misunderstanding out.
3. And then you accept my apology, but get snotty with me by saying "We're very grown up aren't we?" I hate to break it to you, but it's your condescending backhand that is what's CHILDISH here. I simply tried to clear the air about things, that's all. You don't have to be such a creep. It's not necessary. And it discourages me from feeling it's worth apologizing to you in the future if I should misunderstand you again.
I don't throw my pearls to swine. I only dispense my sincerity to adults who actually ACT like adults and who have the emotional capacity to appreciate a little class. I might have gotten mad at you without actual justification, but I at least owned up to my mistake, and immediately. So save me your juvenile sarcasm. Perhaps PLUMS has a reason to dislike you so much -- beyond your preferring white men for male company. So far, your bedside manner toward me has left much to be desired. I don't think I'm a much bigger fan of yours than PLUMS at this point.
I made a mistake and I was accountable for it. But you had to act like a spoiled school girl. It was totally unnecessary. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 4:55:32 PM |
- love has no color...
but a black man....hmmmm sure does know how to be sweet.....
Yeah and no white guy ever has known how to be "sweet". Tell it like it is, you're just lusting for some jungle man. You hypocrite. We're just animals to you arent we? White woman anyway... | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 5:58:05 PM |
Yeah and no white guy ever has known how to be "sweet". Tell it like it is, you're just lusting for some jungle man. You hypocrite. We're just animals to you arent we? White woman anyway...
You sound bitter...you poor thing.. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 6:02:17 PM | | ^ Hey, I'm actually defending our people. I can't stand white women who just want a black guy cause hes supposed to be some sex machine. Alot of white woman are like that. But you attack me instead, nice. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 6:10:39 PM | | To blusey..You got it Baby....People in EVERY race Rocks....I Love people from all races and have been Married, and dated ..Mexican..to Black to Korean,Cambodian well i cant think of ant race i havent Dated...Its all Good!!Depends on the person INSIDE.... | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 9:48:19 PM | Beatles, your half assed apology wasn't worth the use of the word. NOW we get to your true feelings....you just wanted to vent anyway, so glad you did it.
I COULD carry on, but you have done a good enough job of making yourself look like the business end of a horse. Oh, and have it your way. I won't accept your apology then. Does THAT satisfy? Oh, hell..nevermind. Don't want another excuse for you to talk to me.
Gypsy, I can respect someone with your attitude. I wish more people shared it, but this thread has brought out a lot of ....thinly concealed hate. I guess the folks who say they are just "being real" should get points for honesty. But I stil find myself saddened by their views.
Jewel, what WAS that dude talking about anyway? I feel for any black man who can, even jokingly, refer to himself or anyone else for that matter, as "jungle man". And ya....sounded a wee bit bitter. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:30:29 PM | QUADMOM: You know, now that I've seen you in action, everything PLUMS told me is true: you're a mindless provocateur who isn't really interested in knowing what she's talking about -- you just like to screw with people.
I can't believe that I wrote what I just did and received the response I got from you. You know, Gloria Allred or Johnny Cochran could map out a case that even a scholar couldn't refute and somehow you'd twist it up into rubble. I created an easy-to-follow, crystal-clear logical sequence to explain where I was coming from and why. But you are so patently sloppy and careless in how you read things it just makes a mockery of any attempt at lucid communication with you.
When I taught, I noticed two basic archetypes of people who got an "F" on an assignment: those who were low-functioning and those who deliberately earned it from a disregard for the subject matter. You are a classic example of the latter.
As far as venting is concerned, YOU started that behavior with your passive-aggressive response to my apology. I wasn't venting as much as responding to the frustration created by your adolescent snottiness. That "We're very grown up aren't we?" snipe was totally uncalled for. For someone as old as you are that should have been beneath you. Apparently not.
As far as whether you actually accept my apology or not: I really don't care. I did it because it was the RIGHT thing to do -- period. I was apprized of my mistake and I owned up to it, that's all. And the fact that I was humble and contrite about it -- and STILL was met with rudeness and sarcasm only serves to tarnish your name and diminish you as one who not only doesn't bother to know what she's talking about as well as one who is just a snippy little snot.
You behave like if you just ignore what you don't want to know about a situation, everything you don't want to hear just goes away. Wow. Is that how you prevail in your discussions at home -- by simply ignoring whatever facts would overturn your apple cart? I feel sorry for your significant other. You're something else.
And you don't want me to talk to you anymore? Here's an idea: try not antagonizing people by behaving like a jerk. The next time you insincerely, sarcastically PRETEND to accept someone's apology, try being graceful and mature about it instead of following up your acceptance by acting like a spoiled brat. It's just bad Karma: you bring it on yourself. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/24/2007 5:36:33 AM | Quad his post was just wrong for so many reasons! lol
Hey, I'm actually defending our people. I can't stand white women who just want a black guy cause hes supposed to be some sex machine. Alot of white woman are like that. But you attack me instead, nice.
Well, how do you know SHE is like that? | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/24/2007 7:35:40 AM | | Quadmom:: well i guess you met your match and more. I never said that i did not like you because you prefer to date white men. I stated that I have never dated a white man and that i have no problem with anyone one else dating outside of their race. And then you start bringing up slavery and other things that has nothing to do with this thread. You can clearly see that you don't get enough hugs; if you did you would be spending more time there then here. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/24/2007 11:04:55 AM | Plums, what in the world of all thats holy would you know about my "match"? You've never been able to match me ....WHAT THE HELL are you talking about? I feel like the caveman on the GEICO commercial. "Whaaat?"
I don't care WHAT you stated all those months...and months...and months ago. You started in on me right after I said I dated white men. 1 + 1 = 2.......so its not difficult to figure out.
Obvious you may have read, but not comprehended my posts. Stick to the material and put on your big girl panties and deal. You sound ridiculous and I'm fairly certain the rest of the posters here are sick of our little personal battle. So I'll save time and answer the next 5 lil' comebacks you have for me. Here ya go...
"I know what you are but what am I?"
"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me"
"Bite me"
"Eat my shorts."
I feel 8 yrs old again...NOW we're contemporaries.
Beatles- in the immortal words of Charlie Brown's teacher.."Wah wah wah wah..wah wah wah...". Got it? Good. Cuz this has gotten beyond ridiculous. You love black women for all the right reasons, ok? You are completely vindicated and just in your thoughts, actions, preferences, decisions ad nauseum.....ok? I swear, I don't care enough about one dude's opinion to keep at this, so get the last word and lets move on. I've got some new opinions to post in some other topics.
Jewel--methinks someone has gotten turned down one too many times. Either way, he hasn't come back to clarify what he said, so I guess thats that. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/24/2007 5:00:33 PM |   o.k no -one stated my last blog so.....il say it again ... cos i wanna 
I have in my lifetime so far dated ,
english ( white ) english ( dark tanned ) , american , spanish , chinese, indian , black , whiter people ( extra white ) german , russian , greek ,turkish ,polish , brazilian , french , mexican, italian ,malaysian , portugese , lithuanian , and tibetian. ( sorry the rest of you i did'nt mention i did'nt forget you .. you know who you are .. ). ( just did'nt want to brag ... p.s you were and still are in my mind and are truly wonderfull people .. i miss you and want to say thank you for being in/ part of my life . xxx )
of which were many different types of religion and cultures .
when you meet or get to know a person ...
1 . do what you both feel is right ..( forgettabout the rest of the world ..or what they might think or say ) ...if your happy / content ..you got more than most . If your happy .. even unsure of happiness ( cos people try to condem you ), yet feel some type of magic ...then live it ...and be proud ..cos you are experiencing somthing others would only dream of .
2 . having 2 people date outside their colour is colour ( cause you both see, possiably love & feel, and care in technicolour . Love and care has never been limited to one race creed , religion ..respect each others views ..never judge ..co's a) one day you might be judged and B ) you are not god.
if you got yellow hands a white face with black arms and body ..and you met someone and fell for a person with a black face , yellow arms , and a white body . what you gonna say ... ( geez i wonder how our kids turnout )... or cant date you co's of the colour of your hands ...or face ....or body ..... ( i wonder what white people would think if it was proved that jesus was black ..( still think they would foloow christianity like they do now )
anyone seen the movie ....Guess who's com'in to Dinner , ( if not watch it ..get a better perspective on life ...think openly ..co's if you don't ( its you that is missing out )
if nature intended for one colour then the whole planet , ( including species )would have been one colour .
3 . people can be crazy , intelligent , jealous , narrowminded , greedy , and stupid ... and the rest ...( but then again ca'nt we all ( after all we are learning everyday ).
goodness is hard to find , sometimes it's in someone and you need to nuture to bring it out ..sometimes you can be in a relationship with unwanted stress not from your loved one ..but from everyone else .....I say to hell with other peoples opinions ...if you are happy or think you wanna / or gonna be happy ...then just do it .
mankind is not that intelligent , less than 200 yrs ago ... man was burning women , or drowning them claiming they were witches ( not that long ) not a lot of people had seen a black man ... niether did a black man see a white man ...
we are our colour becuase of the planet ...the sun and the earth . our pigmentation has given us colour ...( but its our upbringing and social / religious circles that may have either given us more wisdom , or more than likely taken what little wisdom we were due away.
now lets go forward 2007 is now 2607 do you wanna know how many white people , black people are left .....there still there ( hopefully every creed ) and more ...many more different colours , cultures new and old .
aww co-mon mankind try'in to decide if interacial relationships are good ...( yet less than 50/60 years ago we were killing people co's they were white ..but jews.... ????
The truth ..the truth is you ..your happiness , with you and your partner ...be whatever colour race , religion they are ..if you can belive it to be,.. it is ...beauty is in the eye of the beholder ...but we can even care ., date someone who is the most ugly mf on the planet but if you feel special with them , or if you care , or if your just content ( in your zone ) then screw everyone opinion ..its you life its what you belive in and you carry on .
after all mankind is extreamly jealous and narrowminded . (
p.s even elfs know mankind is narrowminded ..thats why they stick to themselves you hardly ever hear of a elf that goes out dating with human people . ( i guess only when they are desperate or on a dare for santa )
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:23:34 PM |
Jewel, what WAS that dude talking about anyway? I feel for any black man who can, even jokingly, refer to himself or anyone else for that matter, as "jungle man". And ya....sounded a wee bit bitter.
Actualy, jungle man was what some white **** refered to me as in a message. This is the kind of attitude they have towards us. Its disgusting. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/30/2007 6:39:43 PM | i love black women and women of any race!!! color doesn't matter as long as you are both happy with one another..i have also found that black women treat me better,just my 2 cents | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:10:30 PM | U date whom ever you feel comfortable with. If your family and friends want to blast you because of whatever color you are dating, then u say, hey its me with them not you. Some people prefer some colors to different colors. I have dated a lot of white/italian men. My family is jamician and haitians.........that should give you a hint of how they treat people thats not my color. But later on in life they started to respect Jade's decision. Cuz I will date who I want, when I want, and how I want. Because I am Jade and no one can take that from me. No matter if its a ebony man or a ivory female..or vise versa. I am me....I have to choose my own life.
I am not bashing on people who want to stay in their own line of color. If you want to date in your own color then hey....I dig it. U do you. Just dont bash on people who are not interested or wanting to try other things.
JB | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:37:49 AM | I agree!
It's all about character.
That is our own personal character.
However, personal preference is an individual thing. I don't feel bad, nor will I let someone else make me feel bad, because I like blue eyes or because I like vanilla ice cream(soy actually). I feel sorry for people who get upset at other peoples personal choices about their individual lives. Anyone, who wants to control others so that they themselves will be happy is already a sad, sad being.
I care more about how she treats me than anything else.
Dean
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:19:42 PM | | I dont think about the color of someone skin! I look at how they act and/or how they treat me. I have dated girls of different races but for me I'm more concerned about whats in there hearts. If they have the same likes and dislikes as me I could careless about what color they are. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:13:58 PM | | Darling, you said "in some races, some of the differences are serious.... on the serious side, interracial can mean different religions also." Excuse me, don't different religions exist in same race relations??? You've got to be kidding me with your ignorance. | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:38:27 PM | | You are so ignorant. There is no such thing as "race". "Race" is something that was socially constructed by whites in their attempt to justify genocide and colonization. Second, neither whites (nor any other people) are of a "pure" breed. Most genetic variations (94%) is WITHIN "racial" groups. That means, YOU are more likely to have several other bloodlines in YOU. Why don't you do some scientific reading before you open your ignorant mouth? | |
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| How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:41:17 PM | | I have dated hispanic, white and of mixed race, they are all differnet in one way or the other. I havent dated black which is not because I dont like them, its because I havent have the chance to date one. I think race is not the issue, its the chemistry between the 2 person. Good luck to every one . Lucilou | |
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