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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.      Home login  
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 Seakyttten
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 76
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Methinks msg 64 was her final break with reality. She sounds like she went right off the edge!

I live in the same area as the OP does. Palma Sola Bay in Bradenton. Maybe I should check on her...


No need to check on me cupcake..maybe I should check on you?!?! Bring over a cat or two for stress management? Handle your own business sweety, as my business is just fine. LOL

Again, I was asking a question in my opening post if anyone was done with the drama of relationships, shallow friendships and just plain out people that want to make you miserable simply because they are? Ah, well.

At Viper, thank you for your 'partial apology' but I'm not unplugged at all, just detached from the type of people that make it their mission to make other's miserable when they know their lives are in the toilet but are trying SO hard to portray an image of success on the forums..hmmm..reading between the lines is my gift as I have no other talent other than taking care of cats, fish and sea otters...oh, and baby gators. So yep, my life is just fine.

Kytten
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 77
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/27/2011 6:08:19 AM

And "Methinks you're an idiot"..Oh. My. God!!!

I can't even bring myself to tell you to have a nice day with your ridiculous post!! Do you have something with substance to add to my opening post or not?? I'm guessin' not..omg.."Methinks the lady doth protest too much" LOL I haven't heard that saying since I was in the eighth grade!!! bwahahaha!!!!!!! Poor thing..wow. Just, wow.

The irony in 'detaching' from certain types of people should be crystal clear now..LOL Oh, god.."Methinks the lady doth protest too much???" Sorry..laughing my a$$ off!! Omg...hahahahaha!


You don't think this post sounds "over the top"? A bit extreme, considering that he was just trying to help you. Just because you don't like the advice, doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. If you read back over your thread, you would see that I came out in support of your position back on page 1. If you can't handle the opinions of others, don't start threads about your personal life.

Sincerely,
Cupcake
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 78
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/27/2011 9:05:25 AM

You don't think this post sounds "over the top"? A bit extreme, considering that he was just trying to help you.


Help her? With what?

The only wall I see here...to be of issue...is the one she has been running into and banging her head against to for those that didn't get her OP. For a "crazy cat lady"...she sure seems to have a lucid grip on life. Maybe I should begin breading felines.

I get it...and got it from the OP. And...I too would rather be in my own company...or the company of a pack of dogs (allergic to cats) rather than the unnecessary drama and game play that is created and perpetuated in the name of some perverted sense of romance.

I don't think she's crazy...just frustrated with some posters.
 forumrun4
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 79
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/27/2011 1:09:18 PM
OMG...the op was just making a post... not asking for personal critiques.

Thou...um...yer azz might look just a tad big in them thar jeans.....heheeee

OH, i am just joshin people...its a joke....ah shadappppppppp
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 80
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/27/2011 2:17:39 PM

Again, I was asking a question in my opening post if anyone was done with the drama of relationships, shallow friendships and just plain out people that want to make you miserable simply because they are? Ah, well.


No doubt. They want constant attention (except when their friends are around), new bicycles, summer camps, no chores, and pizza for dinner every night. It’s whine whine whine all the time!

Like Buddha said: All relationships are suffering, and the origin of suffering is attachment. - I just like to do things the hard way.
 hellysheroes
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 81
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/28/2011 3:19:37 PM
msg 80

Do you deep fry the felines after you "bread" them.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 82
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/28/2011 3:40:08 PM
I sorta feel like that, but I have lots of people in my life - a few who are very close and I need those people in my life. I could not live without people in my life, I find it hard to ask for help, but it's not because I think I can do it all. Despite that, the people in my life come through very often, I'm very blessed that way. I could never detach from everyone.

As for dating though, I've sorta stopped looking. I've got a lot of stuff going on that I think most men would not be able to handle. Most couldn't handle it 20 years ago either. I haven't found a man (in the relationship sense) who is as loyal and good to me as my close friends are and that I'm attracted to as well!

I need a strong man, and I haven't found him yet. Notice I "yet" :) However, I'm not sure there is a guarantee I will ever be with anyone. Who knows what the future holds?
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 83
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/28/2011 6:01:55 PM
i have noticed that it is more men that accuse women of being "dramatic".
what is dramatic about letting your feelings be known?
calling someone a drama queen is name calling.
i didnt call him a drunk.
 dbok635
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 84
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/28/2011 9:33:20 PM
Hey Kitten
I hear ya!
My favorite part of going anywhere is coming home, no stress here.
Peace.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 85
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/28/2011 10:02:58 PM

Do you deep fry the felines after you "bread" them.


Now that's just crazy talk.....lady.

Haven't you heard of the ongoing Cholesterol problem in America.

Three B's. Bake, Broil or Boil.
 hellysheroes
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 86
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 1:35:23 AM
I agree, unfortunately a huge amount of people where I come from do not.

They tend to be more of the 3 F's variety frying (frequently) foolish (again frequently) and fat ( dare I say it.... Frequently)
 qedeshim
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 87
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 5:19:01 AM
Being detached is not about creating walls as some form of barriers, and anyway walls are useful to grow stuff up and hang things on. Being detached CAN mean seeing things objectively, enjoying the drama without having to take it to heart.

Sex could be the problem although some see it as a solution, and strangely not mentioned so far, but maybe that is a form of detachment the genuine here, responding to the stimulus prefer. Sex can be like a drug, and the needy can be very disruptive as a result, as the seriously detached might realise. If only sex was the answer, life would be so simple, but sadly it is just a symbolic act, however temporarily physically gratifying to the individual, till the next fix that is.

An affair on the other hand, in which sexual indulgences, after time spent together, the individuals part for a time, thus sex and the psychosis involved, is more spaced out, casual, as opposed to a so called "relationship" where sharing the joys of childcare, bills, washing and cleaning and other mundane distractions, can make the joys of sex mutate from the physical to the psychological, a less stable ground.

We are a social animal, and strangely biologically constructed to reinforce this social need, but we live in two worlds, the social and private. What people say and do in public can differ dramatically from what they do in private. Being grow up is after all learning to lie, where we lie and pretend to others we are more than we really are, and subsequently lie to ourselves too. Children live comparatively, in a simplistic world where the requirement to lie is learned till qualifying for adult status.

So maybe its also a question of do we need sex, which can be both a detachment and an attachment, depending on individualised psychological constructs. Does sex make one happy, and if so for how long, suggesting it can be a disruptive drugging effect, and not just something to do for its own sake, but has depth and meaning to the insecure, as maybe that it the measurement they use to measure if they are loved enough?
 timestandstillfla
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 88
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 11:28:15 AM
Jesus took time to be alone, right??
 Bishopboat
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 89
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 1:21:56 PM
If it works for you, I saw go for it... But it's not quite for me
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 90
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 7:12:45 PM
I see the OP has bailed, but I will make my comment anyway: clams aren't happy and neither are you.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 91
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 7:42:59 PM

I see the OP has bailed, but I will make my comment anyway: clams aren't happy and neither are you.


I'm not sure what you see...but thanks for that great insight. OP is alive and well...and seems content.

She's talking about (and I'm agreeing with) those types of people and relationships that are false, filled with drama and deceit. You know...like when your with a group of friends and they're all talking about Suzie. Doggin' her, throwing her under the bus and dragging her through the mud...until Susie shows up at the gathering. Then...everyone loves Susie and swims in her pool and drinks her alcohol.

You might think you don't have relationships like that. But...then again...you might be Susie.

I'd rather swim in my own pool and drink with my dog if that's the choices I have. And I'd be content with a single good friend than a pack of wild jack azz's.
 lacie_
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 92
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 9:05:11 PM
I think it's quite an accomplishment when you can enjoy your own company. I am always surprised by how many people are unable to do this. Being alone doesn't mean lonely to me either :)
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 93
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 10:35:41 PM

I think it's quite an accomplishment when you can enjoy your own company. I am always surprised by how many people are unable to do this. Being alone doesn't mean lonely to me either :)


I see nothing wrong with it either. I don't even worry when I find myself talking to the dog.

I do become concerned when I start expecting her to answer me though..
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 94
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/29/2011 10:52:04 PM
I see the OP has bailed, ...


Nah, she's back with an extra "t" this time. See msg 78, I believe.

OT

I'm a loner, have been basically my whole life. But I do have friends, and being friends, they know that sometimes I just need my "me" time. Some times it's months before I check in, but we'll always be friends.

My siblings are mostly the same. The three of them are all married to outgoing personalities which makes them a bit more social than I, but are well aware of our need for quiet.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 95
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/30/2011 8:26:43 AM

I'm not sure what you see...but thanks for that great insight. OP is alive and well...and seems content.


When I say "bailed," I mean that she no longer has a profile on POF.

Contentment does not equal happiness. One can be content with his/her lot in life yet not be happy. Cows chewing their cud in the fields are content, but I don't see them jumping for joy. A person who "gives in" is not a happy person because the very words "give in" denote giving up on something that might make the person happier, more satisfied, or even more complete.

I am happy, but I am not content because that breeds stagnation. I consistently seek to better myself and circumstances in my life--despite that I like my life. I have enough life's experience behind me to know that things can change IF I let them change. To say, "Oh, but I am content where I am," is to deny that ability and likelihood of change. It is very close to what Thoreau says: leading that life of quiet desperation.


You know...like when your with a group of friends and they're all talking about Suzie. Doggin' her, throwing her under the bus and dragging her through the mud...until Susie shows up at the gathering. Then...everyone loves Susie and swims in her pool and drinks her alcohol.


No, I don't know. I don't "dog" Susie behind her back and if I had a problem with her, I would discuss it with her. I don't associate with people who would engage in this behavior. And trust me, I am not Susie. Find a better analogy.


I'd rather swim in my own pool and drink with my dog if that's the choices I have. And I'd be content with a single good friend than a pack of wild jack azz's.


Then do it! But in my humble opinion, that doesn't sound like what you really want.

Buddha spoke of the middle path: the path between emotions. He said that existence is suffering and the suffering stems from the attachment to things, including people. His middle path does not include calling people jack azz's (that's attachment, after all, and expresses a fairly strong emotion of resentment) or stating, "just retreat back into my shell like a turtle (with a little smirk)" because the smirk indicates scorn and assumed superiority. (I am highly simplifying Buddha's philosophy, mind you.)

To walk the middle path, one might retreat into the turtle shell, but not with the smirk and not with resentment or scorn. I don't see that the OP has reached that stage.

I respect Buddha's path, but it is not for me. I am willing to experience great sorrow in order to also know great joy. I am willing to take a chance in order to see how the experience might work out.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 96
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/30/2011 9:39:24 AM

When I say "bailed," I mean that she no longer has a profile on POF.


You still don't see. She does have a POF profile and has posted on this very page. I do what I can to read the posts of others with an open mind and attempt to understand their POV before I throw my own down. It's obvious you didn't take the same care. The post right above yours (a very short post at that) explains that she is still active in this thread.


No, I don't know. I don't "dog" Susie behind her back and if I had a problem with her, I would discuss it with her. I don't associate with people who would engage in this behavior. And trust me, I am not Susie. Find a better analogy.


OH! So you are in complete agreement with myself and OP then. Why didn't you say so in the first place. Because that is EXACTLY what we've been saying this entire thread. Had you attempted to understand the POV of those posts. So apparently.....***ding ding***the analogy rang a bell for you. Perfect.

Nowhere did the OP...nor myself...suggest breaking all contact with the human race.


Then do it! But in my humble opinion, that doesn't sound like what you really want.

I think I've made that pretty clear. So has the OP. Never said I'd choose to be alone and swear off all human contact or a relationship. Never said I wasn't happy. What I said is that being surrounded by or next to people who create undo drama and conflict doesn't appeal to me. I'm not interested in it and it would serve more to undermine contentment and happiness rather than contribute.

Ignorance is indeed bliss. My problem is...is that I can spot a phony a mile away. That's my cross.


To walk the middle path, one might retreat into the turtle shell, but not with the smirk and not with resentment or scorn. I don't see that the OP has reached that stage.

Are you kidding me. That's exactly what we're doing. Except for the turtle shell thing. Where is the resentment? Where is the scorn? Yanno...I think you and the fat man are so busy talking...you bother to listen.
 Seakyttten
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 97
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/30/2011 12:47:53 PM
You don't think this post sounds "over the top"? A bit extreme, considering that he was just trying to help you. Just because you don't like the advice, doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. If you read back over your thread, you would see that I came out in support of your position back on page 1. If you can't handle the opinions of others, don't start threads about your personal life.

Sincerely,
Cupcake


Oh, my! I can handle the opinions of others just fine but when posters come in here and huff and puff their chest out in 'attack' mode and not even attempt to address my original post with anything relevant and contributory to the post then I tend to get a bit testy...cupcake (I mean that in a good way, by the way. You are a very pretty lady.) My apologies if I offended you.

Again, I've found lately that detaching from people in general is a way that I cope and it might not be for everyone. I've been around more evil people in the last few years than I would care to admit and dang, I love being around just me now. Why is that so bad? Why would anyone think someone is 'unplugged' just because they've had enough of the drama of others? And choose to enjoy their own company instead of the company of others?

I really want to know, but quoting Shakespeare will get you nothing but a sarcastic comment from me everytime. Just be yourself.

Kytten

And Revilors..thank you for your support. I wouldn't live with you but I would meet you for a cat grooming session..:)
 Seakyttten
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 98
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/30/2011 1:12:35 PM
To walk the middle path, one might retreat into the turtle shell, but not with the smirk and not with resentment or scorn. I don't see that the OP has reached that stage.

I respect Buddha's path, but it is not for me. I am willing to experience great sorrow in order to also know great joy. I am willing to take a chance in order to see how the experience might work out.


Excellent post Gwendolyn but not quite right regarding me. I've traveled, loved, laughed, hated, and have reached a plateau in my life to where my contentment is equal to happy. To you I might be in a 'neutral' stage. I'm not in neutral. I'm happy. I'm happy with being confident in myself enough to say "Yes, I have 6 cats and 45 fresh water fish but they're my family and next year I'm starting a salt water tank with the most beautiful fish you've ever seen this side of the Gulf." If folks think I'm nuts for saying that, then..umm, screw 'em. My life, my choices.

My future life experiences and goals haven't changed. I just don't need the drama of shallow relationships anymore to deter me from what I intend to accomplish with or without their approval. I'm done with the people that have tried to hold me back, criticize me and put me down. I have a few good, good friends in my life that I consider family and know me inside and out when I have to 'retreat' or when I need to 'get out' for the day..I can only hope all of us have a few friends like that..but at least I know their heart, and their heart is good, pure and not evil with a hidden agenda like most people are programmed.

Kytten

 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 99
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/30/2011 4:10:47 PM

The post right above yours (a very short post at that) explains that she is still active in this thread.


And if you used a bit of logical reasoning, you would notice that the post saying that she is still around was posted AFTER my first post. I am not going to wade through pages of posts to scour out every detail!


Nowhere did the OP...nor myself...suggest breaking all contact with the human race.


Prithee, where did I insist that you had left the human race?


I think I've made that pretty clear. So has the OP. Never said I'd choose to be alone and swear off all human contact or a relationship. Never said I wasn't happy. What I said is that being surrounded by or next to people who create undo drama and conflict doesn't appeal to me. I'm not interested in it and it would serve more to undermine contentment and happiness rather than contribute.


I wasn't addressing you until you addressed me, and though I do not intend to hurt your feelings, I didn't read your posts because I wasn't interested in what you had to say, nor did I return to read them after you addressed me: I was posting in context to what the OP said in her original post. Let me quote:


go on the forums periodically to check out the drama of he said/she said/he did this/she said that and I just retreat back into my shell like a turtle (with a little smirk) and am as happy as a clam just being alone with me.


There is no mention there of being "alone" with other people, but herself and her cats/fish. In fact, there is no mention of even venturing forth in "real" life but only on POF forums--the biggest drama hot spot online.

I have been on POF for a LONG time--after seeing that the OP's profile was no longer in existence, there was no reason for me to suspect that she had resurrected herself.

As for the scorn, let me define "smirk" for you:
smirk (smûrk)
intr.v. smirked, smirk·ing, smirks
To smile in an affected, often offensively self-satisfied manner.
n.
An affected, often offensively self-satisfied smile.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/smirk
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 100
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 9/30/2011 4:12:06 PM

My future life experiences and goals haven't changed. I just don't need the drama of shallow relationships anymore to deter me from what I intend to accomplish with or without their approval. I'm done with the people that have tried to hold me back, criticize me and put me down. I have a few good, good friends in my life that I consider family and know me inside and out when I have to 'retreat' or when I need to 'get out' for the day..I can only hope all of us have a few friends like that..but at least I know their heart, and their heart is good, pure and not evil with a hidden agenda like most people are programmed.


Why didn't you say that in the first post? :)

Be well.
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