| | would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?Page 4 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) | Halcyon~
well said!
"OP, there are some men who would judge you negatively for sleeping with them too soon, and would also judge you negatively if you came across as too enthusiastic, read: "too experienced" in bed---especially if they perceived you as being more experienced than themselves."
guys... keep in mind that a woman might be waiting because she is trying to get to know you first. what she is trying to get to know about you is whether or not you are one of those hypocrites that will judge her for wanting it and liking it a lot, or if you are a guy that is comfortable with a woman's sexuality. she isn't playing games; she is trying to protect herself from getting hurt.
i wait to have sex for this reason and this reason alone: I do NOT want to get hurt. period. it's not to play games, it's not to use sex as a means of control, it is simply because i do NOT want to get hurt. that's all... | |
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WA2EFH
| | Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 77 | |
| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/27/2011 7:05:57 PM | I really think that if you had an evening with a man that was exceptional and as a result you were very enthusiastic to repeat that anyone would be wondering if it was just as good for him ? Or maybe everytime he goes to be with a woman they react thay way, in that case, NEXT ! 
Then again if he had an incredible evening with you (for the first time) then I think that he would be thinking the same thing that you are !  | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/27/2011 7:38:10 PM | Ripleys Believe it or not
I once was in a relationship with an "enthusiastic" woman. The first night we "went out for coffee she started talking about how she liked her sex???? The next days phone call was "Come over your staying with me tonight".
Hey the sex was great but after a couple weeks I was asking if we could go out to supper, or bowling. Something! When we did it seemed to be for a short time then her wanting to get home and into bed.
Don't get me wrong she was a goood caring person, but the relationship was almost one dimensional and I was missing the other aspects of a "complete" relationship. We tried a short break but that did not change anything and the relationship ended when I took a job in another town.
In short my answer, "enhusiastic" isn't a problem as long as its not the only thing in the package.......... | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/27/2011 7:50:54 PM |
i wait to have sex for this reason and this reason alone: I do NOT want to get hurt. period. it's not to play games, it's not to use sex as a means of control, it is simply because i do NOT want to get hurt. that's all...
Understandable. I have been the one to hold back from having sex. For various reasons involving either her well being or mine. | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/27/2011 9:14:48 PM | The only thing that I can think of is that you are looking at the wrong part of the picture here...You have sex with the man....when you are done you are still so turned on that you want to have sex yet again....what is wrong with that... Whatever man you are with should be extremely turned on and pleasured by the fact that you can't get enough of him.
However I guess I can't say that I would be sleeping with the man on the first date necessarily. However things do happen and maybe you have spoken with the man for quite a while and have built a relationship up to that point i don't know your circumstances.
Just enjoy life whatever it throughs at you. You will survive one way or another LOL | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/27/2011 10:56:08 PM |
but people are entitled to make judgments exactly like the one's you just listed and even change their minds.
So you're saying it's ok to make some judgements when it suits you? But not at other times?
``player'' by contrast is a sociopath whose sense of entitlement extends to lying and deception to acheive whatever his/hr objective
Or,
A player is very good at what he does, dining, dancing, conversation, looks, confidence, seduction, etc... He doesn't need to lie to deceive.... He simply makes no comittments... | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/27/2011 11:00:30 PM |
I really think that if you had an evening with a man that was exceptional and as a result you were very enthusiastic to repeat that anyone would be wondering if it was just as good for him ? Or maybe everytime he goes to be with a woman they react thay way, in that case, NEXT !
The guys who are 'exceptional' are probably very used to women wanting first date sex... and to them it's no big deal... After a while, they may find it a lot more interesting to find a woman who is a little more of a challenge... | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/27/2011 11:05:20 PM |
what she is trying to get to know about you is whether or not you are one of those hypocrites that will judge her for wanting it and liking it a lot, or if you are a guy that is comfortable with a woman's sexuality
Then to, there are a lot of men out there who will tell women to be sexual, etc... And try to come across as the most enlightened of souls about women's sexuality...
Meanwhile, they're simply hoping to bang every woman they meet... | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/28/2011 5:09:11 AM | So you're saying it's ok to make some judgements when it suits you? But not at other times?
Are you claiming I am not entitled to not date a woman for any reason I don't want to date her, including the ones you mentioned:
The mentality of "How dare a woman want to wait?" or "She's playing games" or "I won't stay with her unless we have sex by the (insert whatever timeline here) etc...
If so, then who does get to decide who I date, if I am not entitled to do that? Do I get to make judgments about which women I find attractive and intelligent enough to date? If so, why is that different from those things you singled out?
A player is very good at what he does, dining, dancing, conversation, looks, confidence, seduction, etc... He doesn't need to lie to deceive.... He simply makes no comittments...
Which describes a sociopath. Lying by omission is still lying and deception. What sociopaths are good at is rationalizing their deceit. People with a conscience behave transparently and make their intentions known in order to give others the opportunity to make an informed decision. If you can't understand that, I rest my case. | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/28/2011 8:02:43 AM | | Its amazing that there is such a double standard! not fair by any means. But there none the less! Like you I have a higher sex drive then most an am hard pressed to find a man to match me I guess is the phrase im looking for! However im not jumping into bed with any ol guy. I feel the need for chemistry to play the wow factor on me first! | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/28/2011 12:59:15 PM |
quoting jco415:
This reminds me of when I used to buy and sell musclecars... Everyone wanted to know how fast they were yet wanted it to have not been raced...HELLO? how would I know it was fast if I hadn't gotten into it? ....Likewise every owner before me probably romped on it every chance they got... After all back then, people didn't buy those cars just to trailer then to shows....they RODE them hard!
Ahhh, you take me back to the good old days. When I put up a fast car for sale, I would let the potential buyer drive it, but not flog it -- not until he put the money in my hand. If he really wanted to know how fast it would go, I would offer to take him for a ride. And sometimes they got more than they were looking for. They wanted a fast car, but they were unprepared for what that really felt like! | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/28/2011 1:29:40 PM | ^^^^^ I would do the same thing with driving them....Usually they weren't really prepared for it...It's was a whole interesting dynamic. Often people are intimidated in reality by what they thought they wanted...then there's the whole thing of expecting that they were the only one to have ever gone fast in it.
I was always wondering why someone who couldn't keep from thrashing a cars would expect anyone else to not have done the same thing!
You want a woman with experience...you gotta accept that they got that experience SOMEWHERE!
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/28/2011 6:24:40 PM | jco
"You want a woman with experience...you gotta accept that they got that experience SOMEWHERE!"
so true! and this goes for men, too. that being said, just cuz a woman is good in bed doesn't mean she has slept around a lot. she may have been in long term relationships, and or married. | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 9/28/2011 8:31:36 PM | ^^^^^ EVEN if she has....So what?
That's her prerogative...it doesn't mean she was indiscriminate!
How many of these guys wouldn't do the same given the opportunity?
Likewise how many women are jealous that they let society hold them back?
Kinda reminds me of the old cliche of the socially inept kid in those teen movies exclaiming that they prefer quality over quantity...sure who doesn't...but they're hiding behind it....as an excuse.
Whichever side you're on ...be secure with yourself, understand that not everyone will agree with you, some will judge you...some will love you......whatever! It doesn't make either side wrong.
Let's face it...not everyone has the same libido either...regardless of age or upbringing.
Some don't understand another's high sex drive and acceptance of reasonable risks....others don't understand the risk or thrill from extreme sports or the excitement of gambling...or whatever...
Heck, I don't understand why people watch TV.... | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 10/3/2011 2:21:33 PM | The question does seem a bit pointed, like its trying to "nudge" people towards a particular train of thought tbh, but maybe thats just how I'm reading it
The mention of it being on the first date did seem to be trying to add a negative undertone to how the question would be read though to be honest as it seemed to be a pretty irrelevant piece of information for the question
But someone enthusiastic in terms of doing a cheerleader style routine would be a bit offputting so would one who seemed so eager they resembled a junkie who hadnt had a fix for two days and you had some dope on you
Other than that I didnt read what you wrote as describing "enthusiasm" but simply someone who is comfortable with their sexuality, has a healthy sexual appetite and isnt brainwashed into feigning coyness to live upto some kind of nonsensical social standard of what women "should" be like
Reading it I can think of maybe a dozen women at least I've known who that description would quite acurately describe, three of which constitute 3/4's of my serious or long term relationships so nah, certainly not something that would influence my respect for someone as a person
It might make me develop some respect for their stamina though | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 10/3/2011 7:34:08 PM | It is unfortunate that women have so many misperceptions about what men want. Most healthy men want sex daily, or at least every other day. Many men absolutely hate the "Chase Me Game." While some men may think you are easy, do you really think that being complicated or playing games is better? Most men would probably get down on their knees and thank God, that they finally found a woman that could keep up with them, and didn't lay in bed expecting them to do all of the work.
If you want a repeat in five minutes, he might not be ready for sex again yet, but you can probably take a break and he will be ready to go in a few minutes or a few hours depending on his testosterone level. If this was your first encounter, you might have just taken him by surprise, but if he knows that you are a multi-orgasmic woman then he can and should prepare himself to satisfy you with multiple orgasms, because he knows in advance that might be what you want.
You are just fine like you are, be honest with yourself, don't change yourself to fit some social norm that is not working for those who espouse it. Your perfect match will come along! | |
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| would a man be put off by a woman who was very enthusiastic in bed?
Posted: 10/4/2011 6:56:17 AM | I can only speak for myself. I want a woman who truly enjoys a sexual relationship and is very active. Just as ladies want to know that they are appreciated, so do I. I try to make sure she is pleased. However, I would love to talk between times to make sure we are on the same page whatever our goals are. Regardless of what happens in a relationship, I will always give the lady respect every where except in the bedroom perhaps!! I can be domineering at times too.
Charles  | |
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