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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!      Home login  
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 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 76
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
There was mutual attraction but apparently we're both incredibly shy.



Apparently, I don't have a frikkin' clue what "incredibly shy" means anymore.

 Jypzee
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 77
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/6/2011 8:54:49 AM
according to her 2nd post in here, the guy told her why he moved on..so the issue is solved...
 sweetcheeks2222
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 78
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He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/6/2011 5:18:26 PM
LOL when a guy asks to cuddle they are just trying to get what they want out of the night!!! And it usually works but not on me im not completely clueless lmao...now if a girl asks to cuddle she really just wants to cuddle and possibly kiss. Now when i say hey lets go talk somewhere quiet i really mean lets go fool around i would love to see whats hiding from me!!! lmao
 Coyotefeller
Joined: 8/1/2005
Msg: 79
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 1:30:23 AM
Damn, I want my money back on this one !
Sammy, my cat even shook his paw ...bad sign !
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 80
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 3:22:45 AM
^^^ …I really mean lets go fool around i would love to see whats hiding from me!!!

puppy dogs tails is my guess

Thanks for getting back to us with the rest of the story, VeggieGirl. I think things might have turned out differently, but for a few details you didn’t know at the time. And you seem to have maintained a good attitude about this whole thing.

I’m having a hard time picturing you as embittered and resentful. I don’t think you will be. Nor do I think you’ll have a mistake-free life. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

ps: I found a few articles on slut-shaming on the ‘Net – highly interesting.

best…
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 81
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 4:47:27 AM
^^I for one am not slut-shaming.
The OP is only 20. Any advice I've given (and I know it would be the same from most of the women posters in my age group) is about looking after her emotional health as well as taking control of her sexuality.
I don't think being with a guy who is happy to ask for a blow job, but refuses to fvck you because he's scared of getting a disease, would be a particularly great lift to the ego.
I don't think being ignored after spending time with a guy and having sex with him is all that cool. He's an a-hole for not even acknowledging her calls or facebook messages.
I don't think the OP would be feeling all that terrific after that experience, no matter how many crocodile tears the guy shed.
If you want to be a slut, fine. But it comes with an emotional cost - worth it for some, not worth it for others.
 bilby886
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 82
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He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 6:09:58 AM
I asked my sister about this story and she says

"well he might have seemed sweet but now you know he's a C##T!"

Well I must say that is not necessarily my view of course, I would never take the harsh road, however, [god! I love using ""however"" soo dignifyd],

however, I would say drop him like a hot baked potato on a mortuary floor.

Don't touch him!
Just Don't.

PS should there always be a comma after ""however"" ?
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 83
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 6:17:14 PM
Many people found themselves in the exact spot the OP is in. I wonder if they all felt like sluts.

I'd just like to point out, however, that a comma before and after however may look more dignified; so I say go for it (ooooo, I used a semicolon on that one).
 VeggieGirl
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 84
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 8:01:00 PM
Thank you MutedEnthusiasm, I also think I have maintained a good attitude. Yes I was a little emotionally damaged for few days, but I recovered. I would like to add that I sent the guy some links to herpes fact pages, including one about cold sores. My friend (his room mate) told me that he gets cold sores, so the fact that he couldn't be with me because of what I have is just incredibly ironic.

I don't appreciate the slut-shaming (thanks for the new word) that has gone on here. This guy is only the 4th guy I've ever been intimate in any way with, even kissing. I don't drink often (go months at a time without having anything), and I'm not promiscuous, but I enjoy sex and still have some things to learn about protecting myself emotionally. I did not get herpes by sleeping around, I got it from my first partner who I was with for 2.5 years and engaged almost as long. I don't know if he lied about being a virgin when we met, if he cheated on me, or if I got it by some fluke, and I probably never will know.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 85
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 8:10:41 PM
^^^^^ Don't let them bother you...... The only possible mistake you made was not discussing where you two were going BEFORE messing around IF you wanted more that is.

Don't worry about the word slut either.....jealous people use it as a badge of shame because they don't feel free to do as they please.

Sexually
Liberated
Undeterred
Temptress
 LADYINRED126
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 86
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/7/2011 9:07:57 PM
Dear, let it go and here is why. You are losing the important point here, instead of engaging in this mind reading activity of what this man is thinking why are you not focused on how you feel and what this experiences has taught you? After all is said and done, it's the relationship you have with yourself that is the most important, not with him or anyone else. Try being a little more introspective as to what you were attempting to accomplish by giving someone you hardly know a "bj"? No one is passing judgment on this except for apparently YOU. To have expectations beyond that evening is to set yourself up for disappointed expectations. If it was a relationship you wanted, that is not the way to go. If it was a flash in the pan so to speak, a one night only connection, then that is precisely what you signed on for and what you got. The bottomline is neither to ignore him nor seek to speak to him privately. NEUTRAL is the place to be. You don't care one way or the other and your behavior ought to convey this. Life experience; always our best teacher. Work on identifying what you want to achieve in terms of a relationship and remember, nothing good comes easy.

"THE SHRINK"
 minxluxury
Joined: 7/13/2011
Msg: 87
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/11/2011 10:35:58 PM
I agree. I would never judge anyone by calling them a slut and I think that is up to God to judge. However, men are sluts too. It's a sword that cuts both ways and if a man thinks he's going to use me, he's gotta another thought coming.

I got used ONCE. And I learned from the experience. Never, never, again. And I don't consider myself a slut. I was stupid, I admit that. But I did think I loved this demon and now I see myself as being very naive, needy and ignorant of the situation I put myself in.

He was cunning, manipulative, lying, cheating, and has no guilt, nor shame. He called himself "a gentleman related to the devil." I think he is the devil. And I feel Like Rosemary Woodhouse from "Rosemary's Baby." Ever see that movie? If not, it's a great Roman Polanski thriller.
 1776or1984
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 88
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:12:44 AM
Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations (actually his diary that was found and published after his death) that nothing is new, all is as old as time itself. Many of the "modern" inventions that we use are not new inventions, the idea was thought of hundreds if not thousands of years ago but either the practical need was not great enough at the time or the technology of the time was insufficient to produce the invention. Very few things are new.

So all of a sudden our society is raising a crop of kids that think it is okay to suck a stranger's johnson. I guess they think we are liberated all of a sudden, that this generation is somehow so different that the old rules do not apply.

Bunk...

Here it is in a nutshell. Except for DNA testing, a man will not know for about a decade and a half to two decades if the child he is raising is his or not. A woman is usually sure who the father was. This is the core difference that causes so much of the tension and problems between men and women and societies have developed "morals" to protect both men and women. Societies also do not want unwanted children being dumped on the public system be it welfare or some other charity. Societies interests are in seeing happy children raised by both parents to increase the size and power of the tribe, safeguarding all. Thus most societies have some sort of moral code.

For a young woman to grow up thinking that it is okay to suck a random guy's johnson is a travesty. I do not believe that we came to this point as an accident, I believe that we came to this point by design, orchestrated by those that would destroy our country from within. What warms my heart is to see the younger women like Curlygrl and the others that chimed in to support what she was saying.

What happened is simple. This young man had one chance in his life to find out what you thought of yourself. He tested you and you failed. Now he would be a fool to trust you not to do the same thing, along with wondering how many other sets of b*lls have slapped your chin. Pardon the pun, but you've blown it with this guy and a lot of others after posting this confession along with your picture, it will be here long after you have moved on.

Societies obey natural law, they follow the rules of evolution and changes do not happen unless they produce an advantage to the society, are so minor that they have no effect, or they produce a dead end leading to the destruction of the society. I can not think of a society of any consequense that has not protected women in general and young women in particular and thrived or survived for that matter. Our political correct b.s. that women are now liberated and can have sex outside of a relationship is damaging our society be it on purpose or by colossal ignorance. What you need to decide is if Curlygrl and the others are correct or if you are so obtuse that you won't learn from their mistakes along with your own.

And the handful of guys that have said you did nothing wrong? I'd ask if they would have the same advice to their daughters or grand daughters.

Nothing wrong with sucking a johnson or bumping uglies till your are sore after you have made a guy pay a price for the good time. Give it up for security and love, never allow him to disrespect you from day one, and you will always have him wrapped around your little finger.

Nowhearing this should sting a bit if you are not delusional. A total stranger has told you that you were stupid and acted like a sl*t. The good news is all that matters is what you think of yourself. Once you stop the stupid behaviour and learn to respect yourself, others will forgive your bad behaviour. And it starts with forgiving yourself. Actually it starts with your admitting that you were wrong.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 89
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:30:16 AM
Really oral sex is more intimate than going all the way??? How so.
I agree that I wouldnt give a guy a BJ who was just a casual and I would have to be really into him to do it. But apparently some women do it on first date from what I hear and more..... Whether they love it as some guys claim, I am skeptical about.
Perhaps they feel it is safer especially on casual acquaintance but maybe they dont know about oral herpes!!! I only want to be on the receiving end of oral sex with someone I am connected with, for sure but then that applies to full penetration too..
Never given it up in any way because some guy paid for dinner after he asked me out . That is just prostitution in another form...
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 90
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:34:57 AM
I don't know if he lied about being a virgin when we met, if he cheated on me, or if I got it by some fluke, and I probably never will know

You got herpes because he lied about being a virgin or he cheated on you.
You don't get herpes by fluke.
If you don't undertand this at 20, you need to be educated.
You want to have sex with whomever and whenever you want, which is fine. But you need to learn how to protect yourself and your future partners.
By the way, aside from the fact that you could die or become infertile, there won't be any future partners when you're riddled with disease.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 91
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:37:20 AM
The trouble with contracting herpes is that often the carrier doesnt know they have it. It is a case for protection always and I mean always.....

NO BALLOON NO PARTY

Another thing I object to the C word which is a woman's private part, being used in such a derogatory fashion and meant as an insult......and especially by women!!!
 kentuckygirl2000
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 92
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He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/9/2011 11:43:49 PM
girl i have been done the same way here, the men that you meet here seems like they only want to meet you for sex, any sex will do because they aren't gettin it at all from working too much or they just want it. I suggest that you forget about him and move on, if he really does want to get to know you he has your number right. Let him call or text u, don't make yourself out to be lookin like a stalker.
 Xc0de
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 93
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/10/2011 1:06:06 AM
You know it's possible to have computer problems.
 Joeyhext3
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 94
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/10/2011 4:00:47 AM
sounds to me like he doesn't really know what he wants, tell him what you want and that you understand that he's nervous and be patient.
 JONITA
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 95
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He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/10/2011 5:52:34 AM
It sounds like you guys hooked up. You met in the same night and you were in his bed kissing and engaging in oral play. The next day you showered together and then you gave him a bj. What else do you expect, you were a nice piece of ass. You allowed yourself to be used. When a man is interested, you don't have to jump through hoops to get his attention. He's not that into you. The next time you meet a guy you're really interested in, slow down and take the time to get to know him.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 96
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/10/2011 6:35:24 AM
ehhh...read the whole thread. She hooked up with him, showered with him, he accepted a BJ from her, but he didn't really reciprocate. If I remember correctly, it turns out he heard through the grapevine she has herpes. Case closed...she was good enough to receive from , but he was never interested in her as a girlfriend.
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 97
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/13/2011 5:13:36 PM
You just met him and im less than 24 hours you slept in bed with him and gave him a BJ. I think he things your not girlfriend material being that you moved that fast. You got to know that it comes off REALLY bad . Why would you give him a BJ when you just met him I dont get it? Next time at least know a guy a week before putting his privates in your mouth ! My guess that he will contact you when he is drunk or horney and come back for another BJ only ... well if the BJ was good
 hotmerlot
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 98
He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/13/2011 6:37:08 PM
This is not to judge you becuase many of us have made this mistake.

1: Do not allow person to touch you in a sexual way until you know that person truly cares about you!

2: Oral sex is sex. Period!

3: Where was your friend? That friend should not have allowed you to drink with a man you did not know! Friends watch out for friends.

4: He asked a friend to text and see if you would cuddle. An offer to cuddle from a strange man is a methaphor for having sex.

5: A person who gives a bj during a first meeting is not a person that is looking to build a relationship. He probably thinks you do this for every man you meet.

6: Sex is not alway about love.

7: If you are about to engage in an activity you would not want a sister to do - then don't do it!
 cautiousluv
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 99
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He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/14/2011 3:43:00 PM
If he wasn't too shy to ask you for a BJ.....then he is NOT too shy to text you. Sounds like he just isn't that interested.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 100
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He seemed really sweet.... but haven't heard from him!
Posted: 12/15/2011 9:55:32 AM
Gosh, is there anything more exciting and passionate than unreciprocated sex? I think not.

Next time, at least hold out for a lousy burger first at the local burger joint.
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