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 BrownInOrange
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 26
Facebook friends?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I side with you OP...you don't know the person...why would you add him? You both KIND of have a point, but your point wins over his.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 27
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/9/2011 11:40:49 PM
I don't think him asking was a big deal, but when you said no he shouldn't have pushed.

That is the thing that would bug me... the lack of respect for your decision.

As for my Facebook, I have people I work with as well as friends and family... so I'd probably rather wait until I met someone in person -- just like a would want to know someone before I invited them to a family event or business function.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 28
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/10/2011 12:29:34 AM
I rather like Facebook, so i would probbaly have suggested it before he did.
I have tons of people on mine and love e-socialising on it.
People i went to grade school, high school, & college with, people i have worked with, my family, my former in-laws, friends i have made throughout the years, long lost friends and family, my BF and his family, people i have met on travels, my kids friends parents, people from my community, and a smattering of people from online forums that i have developed e-friendships with that i would like to keep in touch with even if we canceleld our forum accounts. I know everyone on their in some capacity, and i love being able to share little snippets of my life, jokes, and family photos, interact with others, and show off my gorgeous children. My family & friends are scattered all over the globe, so it kind of a one stop shop to keep in contact with people.

However, when someone says no, it means no. Boundaries should always be respected.
he should not pressure you once you said no. As for the trust issues, i wouldnt bother. Most people have too much going on in life to deal with that. And who wants to pay for what someone else did, or constantly have to prove themselves different??!!??
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 29
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/10/2011 5:16:20 AM
I'm going to post again to give a scenario that makes me hesitant to add potential dates to my Facebook friends.

I was e-mailing with a guy. He seemed nice, fine, wasn't super crazy excited to meet him, but I hardly ever feel that way these days so no big deal. He knew the town I worked in, but not the exact location. He was going to be in that town one afternoon & wanted our first meeting to be in my office parking lot! He didn't consider if I was busy, in meetings, etc., but was pretty persistent that he wanted to know where I worked so we could "chat a little" in his car. If I had added him on Facebook he would've known where I worked & showed up at my office!

Some may disagree, but I was uncomfortable enough that I never e-mailed with him again. NEXT!!!
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 30
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Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/10/2011 6:15:18 AM

Ok, which position do you agree with?

I'm not saying one is right or wrong. It is just how he feels and how I feel and it is differently!


I have two women from POF that are my friends on FB.
I have not met met either one, but we enjoy each others chats and emailings. Both are someone I would like to seriously date. I believe we could click quite nicely.

I did not 'friend' them immediately, but as we chatted, talked via email, phone..it was apparent that we were going to be friends, possibly more if the distances were different.

You just have to get to know someone, somehow.

I am lucky to have 'met' some people like this.
 Jazzzy
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 31
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/10/2011 6:22:21 AM
I had a man recently, after 2 emails, give me his full name and want mine to look on my facebook page. Whoa, I was appalled...a stranger no less, wanting access to all my personal info lol I don't think so Tim.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 32
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/10/2011 11:57:44 AM

I have two women from POF that are my friends on FB.
I have not met met either one, but we enjoy each others chats and emailings. Both are someone I would like to seriously date. I believe we could click quite nicely. [. . . ] possibly more if the distances were different.


Some people are satisfied with pen-pals; others are not. I am interested in meeting people, not emailing them ad infinitum!
 sweetfunfitgirl
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 33
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/10/2011 1:43:03 PM
OP

That guy is crazy!

You are right. No one should manipulate you. No one should invade your privacy. No one should be that weird....
 meforu73
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 34
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 10:51:41 AM
I have recently been having the opposite problem!! I had been in an intimate, exclusive relationship with a man who I knew and accepted had many female friends, both in real life and on Facebook. He was always very over-friendly and flirty with other women in front of me. The final straw was when he OUTRIGHT REFUSED to add me as a Facebook friend saying that was his "private space"!!! To do what with whom, exactly??? I don't give a damn about Facebook myself. Hate the stupid thing. It's the principle of the issue. He wanted to call me his "girlfriend" when we were out together, but as far as his female friends on Facebook were concerned, I didn't exist and he was SINGLE. I basically gave him an ultimatum (I know, not good, but this was the final straw as I said) add me as a friend on Facebook and acknowledge me to these other women you chat with or we're over. He chose Facebook........................
Who thinks I over-reacted and who thinks I did the right thing????
 NS_ARTEMIS
Joined: 6/28/2010
Msg: 35
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 11:02:04 AM
I dont add anyone that I dont know in RL. I have personal info on there as well as my kids pics with names. If some guy doesnt like my answer, oh well, my feelings wont be hurt.
 smua
Joined: 4/20/2010
Msg: 36
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Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 11:16:45 AM
Adding a romantic interest to Face Book is like introducing him to my family. No! I am not playing out my dating life in front of them TYVM!
 brandonfish
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 37
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Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 11:22:21 AM
thats why i have two facebook accounts. one for public and one for private..lol
 NS_ARTEMIS
Joined: 6/28/2010
Msg: 38
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 11:36:28 AM
Seriously...the day I have to make up a second account to chat up strangers is the day I stop meeting people
 newreality2010
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 39
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Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 12:41:31 PM
I dont know, personally I would rather see THEIR facebook acct...so I usually ask for a link. But I wont friends request them.

I dont want people whose coffee date may or may not work out to be able to see all my comings and goings.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 40
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 12:47:35 PM
I, peronsonally, let a gal I just met "screen" me on Facebook for a bit; for her comfort level. She gets to see more of my day to day and get a idea as to who and when I hang out with people. My family is also listed there; so she has some security that I'm not going to eat her or something.

If she does not stay in touch; I delete her....gone.

I also like seeing a bit more if her life btw.

This doesnt work for those who think everyones an axe murderer or baby miolestor; but in those cases, nothing really does....so hey.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 41
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Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 1:06:09 PM
I just had this same conversation last night.

A man who I have been emailing a little bit asked me to be his friend on facebook and I told him once we meet in person, Ill consider it.

He was miffed and said I was hiding something.

I told him my Mom and many other relatives as well as some coworkers are on my page there and I wont expose any of them to a total stranger. I feel it is personal information who my Mom is etc...and only people I trust can see my personal life, pictures and posts between me and my family/friends on fb.

He didnt get it, but he did get 'the boot' for pushing it. I have no regrets.

In the very early days of fb I was adding contacts from my email with little regard, until one commented that he would want my legs wrapped around his head on a family pic...that also had my Mom in it. Good grief. I deleted everyone back then who I didnt know in person and have never looked back. Keeps things much simpler.
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 42
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 3:26:39 PM
Facebook seems to be more problematic than it's worth, IMHO, at least to me.

I know of A LOT of people who have been cheated on with Facebook as the medium for two people who cheated to connect. I'm not blaming Facebook for cheating, but I think its a negative situation waiting to happen for many people.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 43
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 3:40:43 PM
So true! A lot of married guys are hesitant to join POF or another dating site. If you somehow end up Facebook friends (mutual friends, old classmates, etc.), you are fair game. I finally had to post a status that said...
If you are married, please do not send me private messages. Please post whatever you need to say on my wall.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 44
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Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 3:44:54 PM
Glad you blocked him :)

I use Facebook for communicating with girls I am dating. To each their own.

FYI I do not have my personal information displayed on Facebook. That's an option.
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 45
Facebook friends?
Posted: 9/15/2011 4:54:15 PM
Thanks for all the feedback/responses!

We certainly are entitled to our own opinions :) It is nice to read everyone's points of view on this topic.

I think the only thing that changes anyone's mind on any given topic/situation is life experience. My life experience has proven to me that friending a random person I am chatting with on an online website, is not something I am comfortable doing (as I have in the past a few times). Never again.

If it is a person I have been dating consistantly and they have met my family/friends and are truly a part of my life, then I certainly would add them on facebook!

Personal information to me, is ANYTHING I have on my wall (status updates, comments, posts) and my friend's list and pictures. I am not comfy with sharing that information with some dude I don't know and in this case haven't even met yet.

It is not so much that he asked, as many have no problem with being facebook friends and do not have the same "qualms" that I have. It is more how pushy he was in trying to make me feel bad about not being in favor of or in agreement with him on the topic.

Like the above poster stated- to each their own. And I am damn glad I blocked him too. I don't take well to the creepy pushy type ;)
 astefko
Joined: 6/29/2010
Msg: 46
Facebook friends?
Posted: 2/24/2012 9:22:07 PM
I use fb as my own forum sometimes regarding dating or other personal aspects of my life. Therefore, No, I do not add guys. Guys come & go. DATING is an interview process. Only if I deem a guy worthy of the title of Boyfriend & its mutual & we're exclusive would I then add him.
I'm also the type of person who doesn't add everyone in creation like most people do so.....
 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 47
Facebook friends?
Posted: 2/24/2012 11:45:58 PM
sportsgirl im not a big fan of facebook, i may sound weird to some people
i dont have any random ad , only people i know physically which are my friends, relatives
evaluate you through facebook lol , im sorry op im on your side may be ad him see how it goes if you are interested with him , if its not working just delete him
 robinwinsford
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 48
Facebook friends?
Posted: 2/25/2012 4:45:35 AM
I'm in agreement with you, and admitting the trust issues would raise flags with me too. At the end of the day it's YOUR facebook page, it's upto you who you have on it. I'm with others, in thar i only have folks on it i've met and know
 NolitaFairytale
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 49
Facebook friends?
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:15:15 AM
I will add someone to facebook if I've had a few conversations with them and they don't seem creepy. It gives me a chance to find out a bit about them too. Nothing bad has came of adding a guy off here on facebook. There was one guy who gave me a bit of a creepy vibe so I didn't add him and actually ended up cutting off communication, but any other guy who's asked, I've added and not had a problem. It's a good way to see if the person is fake or misrepresenting themself in some way. I'll add people I met one night at parties to facebook, if they seem sane, so why not people off POF? I don't have my address or phone number on there, although I'm not opposed to giving my cell number to people on here either (haven't had any problems yet, besides one guy who wouldn't stop texting me, but I told him it was 'over' even though we hadn't met and he buzzed off lol).
 coney33
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 50
Facebook friends?
Posted: 2/25/2012 5:34:43 PM
Lol some of you guys are paranoid as hell. Whats wrong with having someone from here on your facebook? I actually find it easier to talk to people on facebook. Who cares if they find out my full name? OMGZZ HES GUNNA COME KILL ME NOW ARGHGH....chill out
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