| | Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?Page 3 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | If you think it makes sense to wait 3 months, then do so. State your expectations during your first or second date and stick to it
Yes OP that is the only fair way to approach this so that you are not misleading someone from the start. Tell them by the 1st of 2nd date that thier will be no "cookie" until at least 3 month into dating you
Heck you could even put it on your profile if you really wanted to try keep all the guys who have a different idea of what is an acceptable time frame ( or that a time frame should even exist ) away.
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 7:50:27 AM | For those women who just got to have it couldn't they buy a toy or something to help them out until then?
Toy, hand.. is different than a human.
The feeling of a person, getting pleasure, giving pleasure, is not the same as with a toy or your hand.
Who is going to enforce these rules? If you aren't adult enough to know when YOU and your PARTNER are going to be sexual..yeah, you may need someone to give you rules. Not a slight, but time doesn't make much difference, bad thinks can happen three months and one week...life has no good promises, you take it as it is presented and deal with it. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 8:05:08 AM | basically it is an underlying few thousand year old debate in the society:
what rules should stand for sexuality?
there are no perfect rules, do what you think, what you feel works best! | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 8:27:25 AM |
Boon, you have an annoying habit of speaking for all men when you say "we". It is YOU that is attracting these game-playing low self-esteem women that are willing to sleep with you a few hours after meeting you. Remember that like attracts like. Game-players will attract game-players.
I am in the middle of the two of your opinions. As I said before, I think the important thing is not that you agree to be exclusive, but that a mature sexual relationship will have had the discussion about what they are before having sex. It's okay to have random sex if you are both on the same page, same with being in an exclusive relationship and having sex. It's the mature conversation beforehand that is important.
And again...timelines for waiting are silly. Doesn't prevent anything or make anyone more secure. It's a game. And in any game, there is always a loser. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:10:31 AM | Why the rule? I believe in chemistry. If you are attracted to a man and would like to be intimate with him, so be it! Whatever happens next is whether you want to continue seeing this person. Physical attraction is the key to a long lasting relationship. If you wait too long to have sex, you might be wasting your time once you had because it may not be what you wanted. I'm sure some men and women will agree. This is just my opinion and everyone has one. Cheers!
cion | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:10:36 AM |
3 months after meeting someone before they decide to have sex.
Well, from my point of view, I don't trust condoms at all... so it means waiting until she (and I ) have both been tested for STD's....
Considering that you really need to wait 3 to 6 months since the last time you had sex to get an accurate result.... well, then 3 months can happen before the sex takes place...
That would certainly weed out most guys who did not want a serious relationship.
I know a woman who has told guys that it's going to be 3 months... most of the time, the guy bails out without waiting to see if she was serious or not... I don't think she's ever waited that long... but it does get rid of a lot of guys just looking for sex, and a lot of the guys who think that sex is an entitlement...
I think it's funny that guys will call it game playing if a woman wants to wait a specific amount of time... but don't realise that they too are game playing if they insist on it in their own time period....
As far as I'm concerned, a woman can wait any period of time she wants, or have any reason she wants...It's her body, her life and all that... Guys will either stay or go... depending on how they feel....
Me, I prefer a women who has the strength of purpse to have rules, whatever they are, (even if that means not having rules) and stick to them... whatever her motive...
I certainly would not presume to judge her for what she feels is right for her.... | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:13:06 AM |
you get it or you dont .
the same could be said about understanding where everyone else is coming from in this thread!!
You can argue your 3 month rule till your blue in the face.....and the majority here
will continue to disagree and consider your rule as nothing more than a tactic in a huge game to get a man.
Most adults have given up the notion of rules and prefer to go with the flow of the moment.....instead of having a predetermined set of time to dole out sexual favors. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:41:15 AM | M church,
I understand the STD issue. I always made it a practice to have my PAP and tests done yearly, of course, but additionally as soon as I was broken up with someone and prior to dating someone else. So there usually was a time frame that was already on paper. It made it easy for me to demand to see actual test results. I wish more people did that. Problems coul be spotted sooner. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:46:19 AM | Im not looking to jump into bed with every guy on a first date but I sure as hell aint gonna wait for 3 months!!
I go with he flow sometimes it happens on the first date some times its the 3rd or 5th but I do it when I want to. I even do it knowing Im not going to get a relationship from some of the guys but at the end of the day its my choice.
Also Id take the real thing over a toy any day of the week!  | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:50:13 AM | My 28 year old niece has that rule. The guys she sees respect that. There are ways to give and receive pleasure without intercourse. My rule is an easy one but guys don't seem to care much for it. All I ask is that we stop looking for awhile in order to see if there is a real connection. Is that so much to ask? I don't want a man whore. Why would he want a women that behaved like one?  | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 12:48:17 PM | OP
i agree with you in that most women are looking for relationships and not simply looking to have sex. most women want a partner - not all women, but most. if a woman has sex with a guy too soon (this is such CRAP, imo) then often a guy will not consider her to be relationship material. this kind of double standard is such bs, and it really pisses me off. if you read other posts, many men say that they lose respect for a woman if she has sex with him on the first date - as if he wasn't there doing the same thing as well! hello? and guys wonder why a woman waits to have sex? come on!
i dont' agree with the whole time line thing at all, but i can certainly understand why a woman would be hesitant about having sex with a guy too soon. again, imo, this is such utter crap. if a woman is absolutely crazy about a guy why should she have to wait to have sex with him? what is so god awful about a woman having sex with a guy on the first date anyways? why is it okay for men to do this but for a woman it's tantamount to plastering a red letter on her chest?
i don't get it. i really, really don't. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 1:41:59 PM |
I understand the STD issue. I always made it a practice to have my PAP and tests done yearly
Yearly testing is good, but quarterly is better...
By the end of a year, the STD could have done permanent damage to liver, fertility, or triggered a possible cervical cancer...
but additionally as soon as I was broken up with someone and prior to dating someone else
This is important, but only if 3 months, or better, 6 months has elapsed...
HIV and some other infections, will not register in most tests until the antibody level has risen high enough to trigger a positive reaction... However, the people are still infectious... That can be several months, or in rare cases, over a year... before the test will show it...
One of the reasons to get tested after a relationship is to be able to prove you were clean at the end of a relationship, so no Ex can accuse you of leaving them with something... | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 2:55:22 PM |
Ms micki
when you know better
you do better .
 not only cryptic....but naive as hell!
You obviously haven't hung out in the forums much!!
Thing is........this is all subjective to your own personal beliefs/morals/opinions.
What is right (or better) for you....isn't always right or better for someone else.
You will have a much better rate of acceptance of your statements if you present them as your opinion and your choices.......rather than trying to force them at us as "facts". | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 8:04:37 PM |
Faithful to who, themselves? They are dating, not involved. Many people have someone they sleep with between relationships, so believe me no one's celibate when dating someone. They may not want to sleep with anyone else once they start dating someone by choice, but the option is there for them - and they honestly don't have to say no to it before they start seriously dating someone.
There are many people who do not engage in sexual relations between relationships. I have a very healthy "sexual appetite" but after my husband and I split up, I did not have sexual relations until I was in another serious relationship well over a year later. Just as I waited until I was in another relationship after him. And here I am, not sexually active. Being faithful to who?! Yes myself and whoever I may be speaking to at the moment seeing where it goes. You are right, there are many who choose to have sex with people between and while dating until something substancial is formed. But, those ARE NOT the type of men I am looking for. Just as some men prefer women who do not involve themselves in such activities. As I said to each their own. But, I do not wish to have sex just to have sex. And that is my right, as well as my choice. No games involved in waiting or asking someone to wait. It is preference just as everything else. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 8:15:33 PM | Now that Ms Micki knows better, will she do better?
About the cracken remark. I'm used to "Kraken". I got no idea how the name changed to cracken. Op, is "cracken" your dad? | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 8:33:08 PM | | Waiting a specific time frame isn't a guarantee that he will stick around. However, waiting until something develops would discourage some individuals who are strictly out for sex. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 11:32:09 PM | | No rules about sex, unless they are your own......3 months is a long time and would be unnatural for most people if they really fancy someone... No man will wait around that long I suspect and would be getting it somewhere else, if not with you. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 11:37:25 PM | After reading the forums I'm wondering why it is so hard for women to wait at least 3 months after meeting someone before they decide to have sex.
Perhaps it's because (1) women like sex, too; (2) the most desirable guys aren't going to wait 3 months, because they don't have to.
That would certainly weed out most guys who did not want a serious relationship. (for those looking for a serious relationship)
As well as most guys looking for serious relationships. If my fiancee had wanted to wait 3 months, I wouldn't have dated her long enough to get engaged to her. Why would I want to date someone who needs 3 months to decide whether or not she likes me enough to sleep with me?
I know women want and enjoy sex but to avoid that pump and dump wouldnt that be better.
Life has risks and if women enjoy sex, why should they worry if sex doesn't lead to anything more?
what is so god awful about a woman having sex with a guy on the first date anyways? why is it okay for men to do this but for a woman it's tantamount to plastering a red letter on her chest?
Because women put up with it. If women did what they wanted, didn't apologize for it and didn't date men with that attitude, men wouldn't be able to dictate women's sex lives. If you're afraid to have sex on a first date because you're afraid of what a guy will think, you're only contributing to the problem that pisses you off. | |
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| Shouldn't there be a 3 month rule before sex?
Posted: 9/25/2011 11:48:53 PM | | No, not at all! I'm gonna' share a secret with you & any other women out there who believe in that "90 day rule." You're setting yourselves up for not only a "Pump then Dump" situation. You're also setting yourselves up to be royally dogged after a man has slept with you. The longer a woman makes a man wait for sex, then the less we like you. Why? Because we as men know that a woman is playing games. If you truly are diggin' a guy & wish to share your body with him, then why make him wait for 90 days? That has always been my mindset! We expect women to play hard to get, but when y'all shift gears from hard to get, to difficult, impossible or never gonna' get, then that's when our mindsets change. We don't like you anymore, but we certainly still wanna' "spank dat ass!" It's because of all the time, effort & energy we've invested. So, there you have it! I'm gonna' leave you with this parting shot. Be careful w/that 90 day thing cause you could not only end up with some catastrophic results, but & a sore tushy as well! | |
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