| | Today's woman is so selfish and totally in love with herself she has no room to love or give freely Page 13 of 23 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23) | | Nothing you've ever posted here gives me the impression that you're this so called "woman." It's always "What can the man do for me?" -- So you still haven't answered my question. What is the woman's responsibility to the man? I'm sure if I said her place was in the kitchen, the old "tradition" that women love so much, most women would get offended. Oh, that's right tradition only applies to men now, women are liberated from all constraints right? | |
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emi909
| | Joined: 5/15/2012
Msg: 302 | |
| Today's woman is so selfish and totally in love with herself she has no room to love or give freely
Posted: 5/26/2012 8:59:36 AM | Lol.....I am aware that I am a woman....Nothing you have ever posted or will ever post. Will make me have the desire to ever prove that to you.....lol...you type about a sense of entitlement, yet it seems as though you, yourself, are experiencing one. hmmm perhaps, just perhaps, you feel as though people have to prove themselves to you as though somewhere along the line you have come up with a conclusion that you are worth so much......
Women still hold a very nurturing role in relationships. To box a man or a woman into certain constraints in general would be to limit them. However we each have what works for us in our individual systems and our thought processes when it pertains to living. So what might work for some will not work for others. What I type....I specifically am typing from "my perception" and in "my world". I can't speak for all women so I speak for myself. Attempting to gather a general perception is futile because people are different and only share humanity to a certain extent. | |
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| Today's woman is so selfish and totally in love with herself she has no room to love or give freely
Posted: 5/26/2012 9:09:16 AM | just perhaps, you feel as though people have to prove themselves to you
Quite the opposite, I get tired of women who think that men have to prove themselves to the woman based on old rituals that were established when women where treated like property.
So I have a sense of entitlement because I asked you a question you didn't want to answer, or maybe didn't know the answer too? It's ok if you really don't know what a woman's responsibilities are, that wouldn't surprise me at all. | |
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emi909
| | Joined: 5/15/2012
Msg: 304 | |
| Today's woman is so selfish and totally in love with herself she has no room to love or give freely
Posted: 5/26/2012 9:54:39 AM | | I have actually answered......however you have managed to turn a very informative post into an argument, which at this point I will no longer engage myself in. Take that for whatever you would like to take it as......But as I mentioned once before....I cannot tell you what a "woman's role is".....reason being, is that we each are different in the way that we approach life and relationships and can only speak for ourselves.....So therefore you are correct in the matter of me not even attempting to take the voice of God for an entire gender.....I can only speak for myself and give a very individualistic perspective on my role in a relationship...However, that is not what the thread is about.....it is regarding men paying for a date...which I gave my perspective on....Feel free to start a thread on the perceived gender roles of women in 2012, however I do not feel the urge to deviate from the topic of discussion at this time :)....take care | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/10/2012 4:05:23 PM | It seems like you have somewhat a negative attitude toward your dates with woman. Maybe just MAYBE you should rethink and make a new guideline as far as the sort of ladies you should date or dating period. For as far back as ancient history goes the honorable gentlemen who seeked companion and wanted to take women on dates ALWAYS knew it was an unspoken rule that the male paid for the date. No where does it say you have to take them to a 5 star resturant nor do you have to take her to Taco Bell. But you can use you imagination and come up with a nice date. Some of the best dates I've been on didn't cost much money at all. Be creative, that's what the first dates are all about in the first place going out and getting to know each other. After that you guys decide if you want to become exclusive and then there's no harm with both of you pitching in when you guys to go out.
It's just a same to have such harsh feelings towards woman and paying for dates. Mens been paying for ages and the ancient history has always worked no need in complaining and trying to change it now. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/10/2012 4:13:20 PM |
Mens been paying for ages and the ancient history has always worked no need in complaining and trying to change it now
Women have been staying home and taking care of the family, cleaning and cooking for men for all of history as well. Women started to complain and things changed. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 11:21:48 AM | | I had 3 first meets I paid my way, he paid his. One the gentleman offered to pay. It was just coffee... so no big deal, but still... why is this even an issue? If someone "asks you out" then the are saying they will pay. If you make a mutual decision to go somewhere then you plan on paying your way... and it will get worked out. If you ask someone out, you are accepting the responsibility of paying. Its like inviting someone to your home for dinner.. you dont' expect them to bring their own steak...do you? | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 1:36:36 PM | Wonder, if you look back at the very first page I originally said it was no big deal as well. However, reading these boards have opened my eyes to how most women think. They don't appear to appreciate the gesture at all and act as if it's owed to them. Then you get the "cheap" comments if the guy doesn't spend enough. The whole thing just sickens me.
I know what I just wrote will go on deaf ears, and won't even be acknowledged, but I'm saying it anyways, and will continue too. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 1:57:52 PM | @ Steve
Im listening Steve, and there is alot of truth to what you just said, and Im sure the women will start shaming you and I into submission.. Ive heard it all blah blah blah
If we offer to pay they take offense... I have my "own" money!@!!!
If we dont offer to pay they take offense.. Your not a "real" man if you dont offer!!!
And yes many women do act as if they are entitled to be taken care of and pampered | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 2:04:27 PM | | What gets me is when you are about to pay the whole enchilada then they say they will pay for their half. With many if you let them pay part and weeks or months go by and then they eventually say letting them pay part is about the same as when a guy expects them to pay their half. For first dates I go with what they are comfortable with. Which means I make the move to pay and if they offer to pay part I assume they actually want to pay part. If they are trying to play some silly guessing game then tough. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't have the time for others that do not. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 2:10:01 PM | -Prometheus, thanks, I appreciate that.
-Patrick, I know what you mean. That's how it ended with the last woman I was seeing. She always rushed to get the bill and pay for her half, then all of a sudden 3 months later she tells me she didn't like it and resented doing it. --Oh Well. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 7:43:09 PM |
If someone "asks you out" then the are saying they will pay. If you make a mutual decision to go somewhere then you plan on paying your way... and it will get worked out. If you ask someone out, you are accepting the responsibility of paying.
I don't understand the distinction. If I ask a woman if she wants to go out for coffee on Friday and she says yes, I've asked her out and it's also a mutual decision. If the woman agrees, it's always a mutual decision and unless we both simultaneously ask each other out, somebody is initiating.
My personal take is that I don't pay. I see a date as a mutually beneficial thing. I'm trying to see if the woman is worth getting into a relationship with and she does the same with me. If she has no interest from the get go then she should say no. If she likes everything about me and me not paying is somehow the deal breaker, that's not really a woman I want to be with.
I had a coworker complain to me a couple of weeks ago because she was going out on some date with a guy she wasn't interested in but he kept asking and she caved. The guy paid for dinner and then kept asking for a second date the following week, at which point she told him flat out that she wasn't interested instead of trying to be polite and making up excuses. I'm not sure what he was expecting. I paid for a date once and to be honest, regardless of the intent of the other person you feel a bit used, as well as a bit more broke. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:43:46 PM | | Alright I get it now. The way you initially worded it sounded like mutually agreeing to go somewhere together meant you split the cost but you meant mutually agreeing to split the cost beforehand. Makes sense. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:52:16 PM |
What gets me is when you are about to pay the whole enchilada then they say they will pay for their half. With many if you let them pay part and weeks or months go by and then they eventually say letting them pay part is about the same as when a guy expects them to pay their half. For first dates I go with what they are comfortable with. Which means I make the move to pay and if they offer to pay part I assume they actually want to pay part. If they are trying to play some silly guessing game then tough. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't have the time for others that do not.
Oh Jeez, this is why I dislike going out with men who nitpick or obsess over fiances. If this isn't the height of confusion, then surely this one was:
She always rushed to get the bill and pay for her half, then all of a sudden 3 months later she tells me she didn't like it and resented doing it.
You guys are so contradicted, you can't even maintain the principle and complain when women do what you wanted them to do...to pay their part. Am I missing something here? Is going Dutch not your gripe either?
The guy who predicted the clucking hens obviously understood the.....obvious.
But no matter. Do us a favor and put the stuff about your financial outlook in your profiles, it makes our searching much easier. ;) | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:58:56 PM | | I don't understand the contradiction. It's something that I really liked about her, that she never brought up finances. My gripe is she really didn't want to go Dutch and said she wanted me to start paying her way. But whatever Thinking, I couldn't care less what you think. :) | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:04:29 PM | ^^^Hehehe. Good reply. :)
Add:
Alright I get it now. The way you initially worded it sounded like mutually agreeing to go somewhere together meant you split the cost but you meant mutually agreeing to split the cost beforehand. Makes sense.
Here is a question for you.
When you're talking to a prospect, you barely know her, and you ask her out for a coffee, or even lunch, or even for that matter dinner (because she has exceptional phone skills). Do you, as a man, really want to embark on this conversation? Honestly? | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:14:38 PM | I've never had that conversation but most of the women I've dated were very casual about the dates, as was I. They've been treated more like meet ups than dates. Also I usually go the cheap route with for example coffee and the prospective Mrs. Foxonatrain will usually pay on her own without prompting.
If I felt like after a couple of dates we actually had something going on then I don't mind paying. At that point she's become somebody I care about spending time with and I don't mind spending my money on her. Blowing paychecks on first dates doesn't really seem like a financially or romantically fruitful venture. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:47:56 PM | ^^^Well, that' didn't really asnwer my question, but thanks for the attempt. I just really wanted to know if guys want to have the topic of who pays brought up in phone conversation before going out to a coffee, or beer, or whatever he proposes.
But it never occured to me that when this discussion kicks up, if the complaining is about the initial meet, a first few date, or regularly dating situation.
The comment that I pay if I ask, he pays if he asks generally applies to when there is sometime of a relationship or building up to one occuring.
I rarely go out on dates from here, I already know most of the guys I date, and it generally isn't an issue as to who pays...ever....in fact, many times, we're all tripping over each other to pick up the tab...thanks to expense accounts, I'm sure. ;) But if such a conversation did come up during a first date....honestly, I'm probably too old for that, but I doubt I'd go out with the guy. Not because he's cheap, but because it's obvious that we're in different socio-economic positions....and that's not being snotty...it's just what makes one comfortable, and that discussion sounds awkward!!!
Can your feel the Roosters astirring? ;) | |
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