| | Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?Page 5 of 23 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23) | i never go out with someone because i am bored with nothing better to do.
i would rather go out with my girlfreinds or stay home with my daughters and dog if i was not interested in meeting the man. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/10/2011 12:29:23 AM | Yeah, we aint no back up plan. Trifling women I swear! You got your girls and your steely dan, come see us if you want the real deal! Just dont be trying to change us! Kiss these guns baby! lol
btw, anyone see the notebook? It was sooo sad!  | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/11/2011 10:42:46 AM | I'm up front. I tell a woman right in our initial conversations, "If you are looking for someone to wine and dine you, that's not me". If a woman thinks she is a queen or princess, I avoid her. I need a commoner like myself. Today, women are competing with men for the same jobs, at the same pay. This isn't the 1950's where women stayed home. A lot of women want to, "experience the finer things in life" and have men pick up the check. A lot of men just want free free sex, when they should be seeking prostitutes. These two types of people deserve each other.
I have known two women who admit to dating me and ordering far more food than they would ever eat. Then they take the excess food home to feed their families. All on the men's dime. Their attitude was, "if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to date me". I also knew one women who went out with over 1,000 different men in just over a year. She was a happy camper. She was being treated to very nice meals all over town and being treated wonderfully by some decent men. To bad she was just out for a good time on the men's tab. She had no intention of having a relationship with any of the men she dated. That woman was the type I wouldn't take to a dog fight, event if she was favored to win. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/11/2011 12:08:17 PM | One of the best first dates (well, actually it was my second) was a picnic. I picked out a nice lunch, a good bottle of wine (not overly expensive) and selected a great beach locale. That and a small hand written poem made it a great date. It was about $20-25
Having said that, I've gone out on dates with women who expected me to pick up the tab for everything they thought they could away with. There usually wasn't a second date as I found these women to be infatuated with themselves, egostical, rude and not as attractive as they thought they were. Bad manners will detract from a woman's beauty as much as any physical flaw. In these cases, I paid, smiled and said I would call soon.... | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/12/2011 2:36:39 PM | | I will straight up say, that I do expect the man to pay on the first date. However, that doesn't mean I expect it EVERY. TIME. And that also doesn't mean I expect you to foot the bill for the entire date. He pays for dinner, I pay for the movie. Make sense? I think for me personally, it's more about the gesture of it being done then the actual dollar amount spent. When you ask someone out on a date, it would sound totally ridiculous to me if a guy said, "Would you like to go out to dinner, but you should pay half..." | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/15/2011 1:14:35 PM |
Donnie says:
"I'm always going to insist on paying. A gentleman pays for the first few dates, without exception. It is just the way it is and it comes without any expectations."
Hmm. I'm going to alert my acquaintances who sell insurance and stuff to this guy. He looks like a pushover, eager to empty his wallet, perhaps unaware that this habit leads to people quietly despising him. And his attitude marks him as bait for golddiggers.
Dating is not like buying insurance :o/ | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/15/2011 2:09:50 PM | | I agree, typically on a meet and greet situation it should be something casual and inexpensive in case there's no cehmistry there's not a lot invested. But there are some women who want dinner and the whole ball of wax on a first date, and when the bill comes they don't even flinch and the guy gets stuck, I don't mind paying but if you know you're not attracted to the guy it would be nice to pay your share that way the guy's not left with a $60-$80 dollar bill. I absolutely appreciate when the woman offers to pay half and as a gentleman that I am I pay for the bill; the simple fact that a woman will offer to pay scores brownie points in my book, so even though there may not be any chemistry women should at least make a gesture or offer to pay on a meet and greet because it's not fair for the guy even if he's a schlub to be stuck if you're not attracted to him. And women, it's a meet and greet not a engagement dinner date, although some men want to do the whole dinner thing, but even then you should be conscientious and fair. If it's a second date and there's mutual attraction then of course the guy pays, but the sense of entitlement has to go, so ladies! It's not a matter of money, it's a matter of principle and ettiquette... Those are my 2 cents :-) | |
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HWDee
| | Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 111 | |
| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/15/2011 10:27:48 PM | | As a rule of thumb, my first meet and greet is always between meals. We order a coffee or tea or ice cream or just bring our own water to get a vibe off the other and see if what we were feeling via email and phone, translates to real-life. This does two things: One, no strain, no pain, no expectations of many hours with another person that you arent finding chemistry. He doesnt feel he is being used as a meal ticket and she doesnt feel she OWES him anything. And two, if all goes well, you can move into an intimate meal to continue the good feelings. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/16/2011 3:30:37 PM |
some women who want dinner and the whole ball of wax on a first date, and when the bill comes they don't even flinch and the guy gets stuck, I don't mind paying but if you know you're not attracted to the guy it would be nice to pay your share that way the guy's not left with a $60-$80 dollar bill.
I don't think any of my husbands ever even spent $80. on dinner for me. Where are these expensive mythical daters? | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/16/2011 8:10:35 PM | I like a relaxed informal meeting....One that is centered on conversation, not on props....
However, if we do have beverages.....appetizers... or we need to purchase 'Astroglide', then I always pay..... | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/16/2011 9:33:31 PM | | for me I always want to pay on all dates.its like opening her car door.men ussually make more money,or atleast spend more money so may as well spend it wisely,on a woman..seems like pretty good investment to me.cant stress over money just enjoy good things that cum out of spending it on dates,womans happiness,adventures...i always say "Dont sweat the petty things,Pet the sweaty things" or "Eazy Money" | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:58:58 AM | | Guys should NEVER pay the full amount on the first date. Women are equal and perfectly capable of paying for themselves. If you want to pay fine, but don't be taking a woman you just met to some expensive restaurant. Go someplace cheap. If she complains that dinner isn't "expensive enough," she's a spoiled gold digging whore, and you should dump that **** IMMEDIATELY. Oh, and NEVER spend more than $40 on a date. If you take a woman out, and she orders the most expensive thing on the menu, get up and leave because that is not acceptable behavior AT ALL. Too many of you guys are pussies. Why do you tolerate that crap? Also, if a woman ever tries to guilt trip you by calling you cheap because you won't pay for her, just tell her, "the person who is cheap is the person who won't pay their share, and that's YOU." | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 3:00:48 AM | | If a man pays for the first date, then the woman should cook him a hot meal afterwards. On top of that, she should do his laundry, fold his socks, and iron his shirts. If we are going to stick with traditional gender roles for men (paying for the first date) lets stick with traditional gender roles for women, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and ironing shirts. Foreign women understand this and this is why so many men prefer them over American women who just want to take take take, but rarely have anything to offer in return other than sex. | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/18/2011 6:33:03 AM | | It sets the tone of the relationship. If I offer to pay my way it will then be assumed I will always pay my way. I think it lets the man set the course and be a man (the provider, has to do with the male ego ID and his sexuality performance). I like the if you are not interested then pay your own way. But then the rejection could be an issue, or back fire and thinks " wow this is cool she pays her own way I am into that"! But then again maybe they won't get it? I pay equals Bye Bye Bye! | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/19/2011 6:40:47 PM | I think the initial meeting is just that and should be casual. Coffee/ tea/ hooka whatever your into. Go dutch and if moneys an issue go for a walk at the beach / lake / park... then discuss what to do about a 1st date.
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/20/2011 9:27:16 AM | This is kind of a double edged sword. I guess I am expecting too much when I say "I'd like to date someone who isn't treating me 'nice' in the beginning just so they can get laid" So IF we get along when we have our 1st meet - I like to see them again to get to know them better. IF we don't have chemistry I do not string them along either.
I will pay for my own coffee or meal if need be but the majority of men I've dated will pick up the tab. Granted it's been Starbucks and AppleBees two for $20 the majority of the time but we don't really have any nice places to eat in my area.
I once went of 5 consecutive dinner dates with someone (met 1x per week) who was a business man who traveled through my area weekly ... nothing uber fancy ($10.00 to $15.00 for me), had decent conversation but I felt like I was always being assessed for sexual viability the entire time. The 5th date confirmed it - He Slapped me on the butt in public and told me he wanted to 'see what I've got' and wanted to get a hotel room. We had NOT even shared a kiss! So.... Since I'm NOT a HOOKER I had to burst his bubble and he moved on to find someone else to 'play with' He could get a mighty FINE B.J. or polluted Coochie for $75.00 from one of our local hookers thank you very much!
I had my 1x AppleBees's dinner with another gentleman and he wanted to have a LTR so he could move in within 6 months! He ate 1/2 of my food. I was kind enough to let him know that my last LTR was 3 years long and we NEVER moved in together :) He tried to 'cop a feel' at the end of the evening... I gave him a "NO" POOF - he was gone the very next day!
So in summary:If I don't 'put out' what they want? POOF they disappear! IF I DO ? Then I've lost my luster and desirability and POOF they disappear!? Are there 'gold digger' men? YEP!
So in all fairness don't the 'guys' have their own agenda's and don't most equate 'paying' for meals, etc... with getting laid, etc?? The Majority of my experiences equate to the two examples above. I have had very few exceptions where I felt like they were in to 'me' and not my fabulous lady parts.  | |
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| Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 11/20/2011 11:06:32 AM | I think it is expecting too much to expect a man to pay each and every time. Not just because the economy but just seems kinda self centered to just expect it. We all work and want equal opportunity in every other aspects of life so figure dating is next in that as well.
I dont think its fair to use your "lady parts " as artillary either. You use it like some kind of power over them? Puttin out really? You make it sound like a chore.
Lighten up and enjoy these guys that want to spend time with you. Hopefully you wont have to go through too many til you find the one you want to" put out" with.
Stay safe  | |
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