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 kcladyz
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 26
Date brings friend along on first meet?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Nooo you did not over react. It is so bad manners to bring someone along on a date. If it happened to me I would have walked out and left. It was not appropriate. To me it shows he was not serious.
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 27
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/7/2011 6:57:01 PM
lol .... Here's a funny anecdote of mine thats somewhat similar but with a different twist ....

So after about a week of web & phone chatting with a guy on here -- we decide to finally meet. I guess it wasnt the best place for a first meet but incidentally a friend of mine was having this party on that weekend .... it was an invite-anyone-else-you-want kind of party -- so I figured why not invite him ( I did ask whether or not he'd be comfortable in this setting and offered a different time to meet - he said he didn't mind, and asked to bring along a friend too, if that was alright) ......

so long story short - he arrives at the party with this friend of his. ... and to my surprise .. HeLLO prince charming!!! ... his friend was HOT .. and a more engaging conversationalist than he was too! .... *ugh* I felt guilty now .......

Anyhoo ... nothing came of that one .. I wasn't interested in him .. I didnt make any attempts to "get to know" his buddy anymore than the small talk at the party either .. cos well, I don't think it would have turned out to be the most accommodating situation for all of us.




OP: your date/meet sounds like he's 12 .... If you're feeling this way from your initial meet already -- it obviously doesn't sound like a promising start to anything. ... Don't waste your time overthinking this. Just move on to the next fish hun!
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 28
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/7/2011 7:51:28 PM
OP,
it’s not something people do for no reason. He could have at least explained what his friend was doing there with you guys. But instead he was surprised and confused why it made you uneasy. Red flags. Strange behavior. I would have laughed and kept joking about it until he revealed some kind of an explanation.



You have two options:
1- Get over it, chalk it up to his nerves, let it go, plan a second date and give it another try. It seems he had a good time with you.
2- Stop talking to him and move on.

Does it really matter if how you felt was "right" or not? What's done is done. Decide what you want to do with him from this point.


WTF???? What’s you’re problem? Chill out, lady.
 Jenn_Ink25
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 29
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/7/2011 8:42:05 PM

was his friend more intresting than or at least as interesting as the guy you were supposed to meet? i would have directed my conversation to his friend, maybe even flirted with him... leave the other guy out (oh you're still here?) ..


lol yea his friend was more interesting, but I wasn't interested in either. They both seemed a little weird. I haven't talked to him since. I wasn't looking to make a decision about seeing him again or not. I just wanted to see if everyone else thought it was strange. And nope he didn't mention his friend was coming along. I'm sure I had the deer in the headlights look on my face when they walked up lol
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 30
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/7/2011 9:02:46 PM
With all the nonsense in the news about girls getting slipped a date rape drug, I would have bolted at first sight.
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 31
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/7/2011 9:21:29 PM
I would be as put off as you were. It is hard enough meeting someone for the first time, even if you have chatted for a couple of weeks, if a mate of his is there too. I'm amazed he thought it was a good idea.
 NolitaFairytale
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 32
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/9/2011 8:30:04 PM
I can see how it was awkward. He should have at least told you beforehand he was bringing the friend. Maybe because there are some crazies on here, he was worried you'd be crazy. I think I would find it awkward too if someone was like observing our date. My friend set me up with someone once, sorta, and came along on the date which made it so awkward, like I had to put on a show in front of her, not just get to know the guy. and she talked more to the guy than I did!!
 lonelywoman82
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 33
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/9/2011 8:34:56 PM
i would find it weird for a guy to do it, us girls do it for safety reasons but why would a man need to worry about safety when meeting a woman?
 chaty1
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 34
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/9/2011 9:33:24 PM
The last time a blind date brought a friend. I ended up dating the friend.
 chaty1
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 35
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/9/2011 9:35:26 PM
ps No excuse for what he did. So wrong on so many levals. Move on
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 36
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/9/2011 10:08:50 PM
Lots of crazy men and women in this world, so safety is important for both sexes.

But I personally am a big boy and I can handle my safety on my own.
 MTL_Giant
Joined: 6/27/2010
Msg: 37
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/10/2011 6:26:28 AM
OP, that sounds pretty sketchy; I've had that happen as well and to make matters worse she brought along a friend she hadn't seen in awhile. I should've stuck around for all of 5 minutes since the next hour was them catching up on old times with minimal interaction with me. That's two women mind you. Two guys showing up like that would be a huge red flag, regardless of how public the place is.
 Believe824
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 38
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/10/2011 9:02:56 AM
First Meetings are just that - a meeting.
[To make it short n simple, and well safe]
You wanted short & simple as well as safe.
He is just doing the same.
[I tried to be extra social since his friend was there, but it felt forced]
If you are serious about dating or finding someone - Be Yourself.
Never try to be something you are not - that's not real.
True relationships are based on Trust - Communication - Honesty
Saying that you were trying to be extra social appears that you are trying to go out of your way to be something that you are not always.
That may work for family reunions where you only see each other once a year but not when you are looking to spend the rest of your life with someone.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 39
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/10/2011 11:36:09 AM
Oh well, another of those stories, you can encounter all types on here. Funny the reaction of one woman was to want to leave fearing a date rape drug.

I had this happen twice with women. The first time, her and her friend arrived in seperate cars, the friend jumped out of hers, snapped a picture of my license plates and got back into her car and left. The second time, the friend stayed for the first drink then left.

Personally, I get safety, I don't get rude. If someone is planning this, they should inform the other person this is part of their agenda. If by this point in your life, you are incapable of meeting alone, online dating is not for you, IMO.

"anyone else be off put by this?"

Of course they would be, problem is, so many wacko's, so many problems.

Look online dating is not for the faint of heart, or those too nervous for a meet. They are best suited to meeting others IRL "only"!!

I never saw either of them again(my choice, not theirs), and have asked potential dates about how they like online dating, to be sure they see this as a viable way to meet people.

Live and learn.
 3rdGenDude
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 40
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/11/2011 12:50:35 PM
I don't think you are overreacting. That is just weird that he would bring a friend. He needs to man up.

But you could have taught him a lesson. You could have started flirting and acting interested in the friend and gave him your number right in front of him (could have been a fake one since you weren't interested). Might even thank the "date" for introducing you. Maybe that would make him think next time he meets someone and wants a friend to tag along.
 heyblake80
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 41
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 10/12/2011 4:29:54 PM
Jenn I dont blame you i would have been annoyed too if someone brought a friend with them on a first date. It's pretty lame of him...
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 42
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 3:47:01 PM
I would be put off by it, yes, unless........well, that's a whole other topic. .

You did not over-react.

That sounds like something a 12 year old would do.

 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 43
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 3:58:23 PM
I'd like to mention that non selfish girls and those who like to share with girl friends are allowed to bring a gf along on our date


 RadiantSpirit
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 44
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 4:11:59 PM
No you didn't overreact. That is WEIRD, especially as he didn't even mention it beforehand.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 45
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 7:04:42 PM


replied that I was put off by his friend being there. And he seemed confused as to why.....


i think the fact that he was actually confused about why you were put off by the situation is a much bigger red flag than the fact that he brought his friend on a date.


Ding..ding..ding..Winnah!
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 46
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 7:39:20 PM
I probably would have laughed hysterically, like what man would need his best friend to hold his hand? Hahahaha!

I wouldn't be able to take him seriously after that.
 sophie627
Joined: 7/16/2010
Msg: 47
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 8:36:25 PM
I think it comes down to whether you felt anything for him at all when you met him.
I would definitely let him know how inapropriate you felt it was in bringing a friend along to meet you. It is all up to you If you feel he is worth a second date alone!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 11:00:28 PM
@Mr.Messages: Only weird if sock puppet is accompanied by bottle of lotion...
 SoCalJ
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 49
Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/3/2011 11:27:44 PM
I'm with you...Move on.

I went out with a girl and she brought TWO friends.

I'm a smart guy and great conversationalist. So it wasn't long before I knew why she brought them. She was BORING! Cute...but BORING>

So I kept in touch with her two friends and the three of us go out from time to time...without Teresa! We also talk a ton on FB. haha.

Howz that!
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 50
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Date brings friend along on first meet?
Posted: 11/4/2011 1:25:24 AM
I had a similar dating experience, once before.

My date brought her sister alone to our "meet and greet". Was totally blind-sided by the experience as it was a first for me. Though, I wasn't put off by it and completely understood the need for my date to have "support" for those just-in-case moments.

Overall, the three of us had fun. I found that I meshed well with the sister than I did with my date. By the end of the evening, I was ready to schedule a real date with the sister as we had more in common. I didn't, that would have been a tacky move on my part.
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