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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/10/2011 6:32:07 PM | I was in a serious relationship with a man who is 26 years my senior. We were good platonic friends for 8 months before it grew to be more. Five months later, here I sit, single again. He has many health problems. I do not. He has little interest in sex. I have lots. He used to be active and like to do things. I am active and regularly do things.
I stopped doing much of activities that make me, me. The feeling of love was there, which kept me hanging on, but giving up so much of myself, eventually took its toll. He told me one night that he's too old to love me, that he loves me like a close friend, not in the same fiery passionate way that I loved him.
I would not date someone that much older than me again. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:33:01 PM | To the initial question of the title of the thread...NO I would not date someone 20 years older than me.
But that is me and I wouldn't judge someone who did. If you think you can work it out with the guy in question then by all means go for it...happy trails | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:45:23 PM | Flyrr200 really cracked me up. : holy crap, then Bamm!! slap in the face that was mean!!!
But it was not mean!! it was True. We old folk need to keep up the exercise. keep the lotion on and more exercise. or fill up that gravitated flesh:
Anyhow, I am not thinking I would be too unhappy with a 71 year old. however I do know I'd be quite unhappy with a 31 year old, forsure!! Imimbizable | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/14/2011 4:58:08 PM | | This was me in the last 7 years when our relationship ended she was 67 and i was 40.I must say we had a great relationship and our communicatyion level was equal.I got along with her son and daughter aand her grandkids as well. Sexually we were not compatable but we didn't make that the basis of our relationship. Our ending had nothing to do with age but growing apart. So is it worth it depends on the persons. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:08:49 AM | | Well, I met someone, she's 12 years younger, and honestly, feels weird as all hell lol. I dont know yet if this is going to go anywhere, I'm kinda scared I'd be sleeping with my kid sister or something, you know? And my sister's 28, like 9 years older anyway lol. What do you guys think? | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:15:41 AM |
Okay, I hired the farmer down the road to cut the hay field regularly
is this prison slang for something perverted? plough the field? sow his oats?
Do what ever makes you happy, who cares about age as long as the 2 people involved are of a legal age and know what theyre doing. i'd rather die regretting something i did instead of something i didnt do  | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/16/2011 10:38:15 AM | My dad was 52 when I was born, mom was 23. She loved him very much and he loved her. He tragicaly died a couple of years later and she loved him until the day she died when she was 76.
My uncle (her brother) married a 19 year old (she is my age)when he was 42 and they are the sweetest couple and have 2 wonderful children in their mid to late twenties.
So , no I don't see any problem with you at your age dating somebody older. If it makes you happy, do it! | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/18/2011 5:34:32 AM |
He has many health problems. I do not. He has little interest in sex. I have lots. He used to be active and like to do things. I am active and regularly do things.
I stopped doing much of activities that make me, me. The feeling of love was there, which kept me hanging on, but giving up so much of myself, eventually took its toll.
Well maybe if I met someone who I knew was right for me. But right now I doubt I would date someone 20 years older, for reasons that Sparkledustpajamas wrote.
For a time it's ok but when age begins to show more clearly, even if the younger partner is quite ok with the fact, there are things like feeling you look more like their parent than partner. This can be difficult to deal with. As much as you try not to care what anyone else thinks or says, it's something that tends to stick in the mind. I found anyway. | |
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CynM
| | Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 91 | |
| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/19/2011 6:49:34 PM | I would not date a man 20 yrs older than me. My sister married a man 20 yrs older than her (her husband is 2 months younger than our mother) so I've seen the progress 2nd hand. She was in her mid-30s, never married. He was in his mid-50s, this was his 3rd marriage. They've been married 20 yrs now.
He is in very good condition (for a man of 72). They live a rural life so there are always chores to do and things to fix. For the most part he can still do what needs to be done. This would not be the case with the average 72 yr old man.
Two advantages of him being so much older - 1) he's retired so he does most of the household chores (shopping, cleaning, laundry, errands) and 2) he qualifies for lots of senior discounts.
On the other hand, he now falls asleep on the sofa in the afternoon, they've slowed down or limited the activities they would normally do on vacation or weekend getaways. He's getting forgetful and grumpy.
When they talk about future plans, the plans are mostly based on him dieing first and in not too many years. But, the reality is my sister is the one who had malignant cancer at age 50.
My sister went into this with her eyes open but she loves him so she accepts his slowing down 'ahead' of her.
I, personally, would prefer to be in the same stage of life at the same time as my partner and roll the dice that way.
To each their own. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 12/20/2011 7:21:51 AM | | Personall no, that would put me with a guy who was 62..old enough to be my dad and my son's grandfather..however, to each his own, who am I to judge who you like. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/29/2012 5:19:28 PM | | Just wanted to share the "lovely" (reaks of sarcasm) ending to this story. We never persued dating, but continued to have a friendly relationship. THEN...After the passing of my father, this "wonderful" man showed his true colors. He evidently thought there was a chance for us, even though I had made it clear I had only wanted to be friends. I told him in Feb. I was selling my home and moving back down state to be closer to my mother who is disabled and needs my help. His reply...."No. what you need to do is tell your mother she can either move up here with you or go to a nursing home." I was completely and utterly speechless. Now, the house deal fell through and I am stuck up here a little longer. But still working on getting closer to mom. But the older farmer can take a flying leap. I can't believe he made that comment. I had thought of him as a friend, but ouch....that hurt. I would NEVER say that to mom. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:10:53 PM | | It would depend on the man. In the case of this man, if I were you, I would be grabbing on with both hands and not letting go. How wonderful it would be to be courted like that, I know it would make me melt all the way down to my toes......that he not minds about you having five kids including two with special needs goes to show what sort of man he is. I work with people with special needs, and I know that this is something most men can't handle. Good luck. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:55:29 AM | | I've dated 14 years older and 19 years younger since I entered my unexpected singlehood. 20 years older or 20 years younger wouldn't matter to me. If I click with someone I won't let the accident of chronology interfere. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:56:10 AM | ::::Shudder:::::
I'll have to say no. Someone 20 years older than myself would be 73 years old. I don't like grey hair as it's a huge turn-off for me, but a man in his 70's with grey hair would give me the heebie jeebies. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/2/2012 1:35:35 AM | | No way. My absolute max in who i would date is 27 and that would be VERY EVRY VERY rare for me to date someone that old. I usually like dating 18-20. As I mentioned in a thread in here and apparently it got deleted. wtf? | |
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