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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 12:15:27 PM | I did once.
To a person who looked at me more as an equal in every way and who celebrated my strength appreciated my brain and was totally confident in themselves without wanting to do the whole competition thing. He was a great guy.
He however was a person who was used to calling every single shot in terms of activities and things and didn't really understand how most of the rest of us lived because of his power and really unusual lifestyle so I would have killed him if we'd kept dating; but he became a very dear friend.
Recently dated someone who was 15 years older and he was in incredible shape; but again wayyy conflicting lives and goals so we didn't work out for dating; but he was young, vibrant, intresting and no one would have believed his age if they didn't see his license.
The only thing is the first one didn't appreciate my 80s music nearly enough lol | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 1:17:32 PM | I have in both directions.....20 years older and 20 younger. The older ones were when I was younger and now that I am more mature, I have dated some in their 30's, and you know what............It was all good for the time, and no matter what, there was mutual attraction and that awesome chemistry, but none would last for long, because there was little chance for compatibility.
Go figure....
cd | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 1:34:53 PM | ^^the one i dated that was 20 years younger at first seemed really mature and together; but then threw a hissy fit when I decided instead of driving over to his home for wine to stay home and not drive through tornadoes that were literally on their way to both their house and mine (with my kids alone in my home).
To say his maturity evaporated and he got almost whiny he just couldn't believe I couldn't do it in spite of worry about not only the kids but my OWN skin... I had gotten partway there and th hail started, the sirens started and I literally didn't know if I would make it there in one piece.
I discovered he was a WHOLE lot more interested in feeding me his meat than he was my comfort in getting there. I did not reschedule. That was the last time I tried to date someone 20 years younger... though again have much as 15; but it mostly only works if we have similar fields and similar interests (especially if they like my kind of music and outside). Then the era doesn't matter so much. Same way with older. There has to be SOMETHING in common besides chemistry... | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 3:12:30 PM | I think that's a nice story.
Fear?... Fear that's a normal human emotion. Find out what he feels and soon let him know how you feel. Let him know more about you, about your past and see if he listens. Listen to his story because now you have your story to worry about. What was past has passed. 20 years is a young mans life of learning the hard way, so what has he to show you from experience? Think about your children, you are not obligated to bend over backward for any man. If he's been patient to find someone special, he'll wait.
You don't HAVE to rush into it but for him could be something else, who knows. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/7/2012 4:26:38 PM | Probably not. It would have to be with someone pretty exceptional. 20 years older would be 63 and it would take an amazingly young 63 year old for me to feel physically attracted to her. So it is unlikely to happen. I did go out with a 58 year old lady (15 years older) a few times and while I did enjoy her company and she was extremely fit and looked about 10 years younger then her physical age, the chemistry wasn't there.
On the flip side, I would likely have little in common with a 23 year old other then sex. It would take a very mature, intelligent and wise 23 year old to keep me engaged for longer then a couple weeks.
So I generally try to stick within 5 years either way as I feel we will be more compatible. But I suppose never say never :) | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 5/30/2012 4:54:04 PM | I would never date anybody twenty years older or younger, as I have had a lot of negative experiences with this sort of thing.
My first long term relationship was with a woman who was 34, and I was only 20. At first, it was great. We seemed to have a lot in common, and she had a wit and a wisdom that few people my age had. After a year and a half, I was dumped for an even younger guy.
So this raises the question: what would anybody have in common with someone that much older or younger? And what about life experience? That is every bit as important as meeting someone with a common world view.
It is a free country, however, and people can do what they want as long as it is legal. I just hope that both parties in question understand the issues that can arise in these sort of relationships.... | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/1/2012 4:01:13 PM | | 20 years older than me? No way. Even though I'm 53, I'm very active. I can't imagine getting involved with anyone more than5 years older than me, and I would prefer someone my age down to maybe 5 years younger. I have my preferences set to -10 / +5 years to keep more possibilities open, but close to my age is preferred. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/3/2012 12:14:40 PM | | i would have no problem dating a man that was 20 years older then me. i prefer a man to be about 10 to 15, but i usually end up dating men around my own age - which is not my ideal, but whatever. if the man is nice, kind, and if he is into you, then yeah, go for it - but only if you feel the same way. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/4/2012 3:31:16 PM |
So would you date someone 20 years older than you? If they were very kind, considerate, treated you well and actually acted like they were interested in you- and not what you owned?
At your age with five kids I would consider it. Now…..no way.
So OP, did you go for it?
He was married, right? | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:16:00 PM | | Sure why not? Just make sure he writes me into his life insurance policy in case his viagra messes with his heart medicine. Then, I'll date his son who would probably be around my age. | |
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rdsxn8
| | Joined: 7/26/2010
Msg: 142 | |
| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/9/2012 9:59:27 AM | | All I have to say in this matter is age is only a number. If he excepts you have 5 kids an two of them are special needs an he is willing to step up an be a man an love your kids like they were his own then yea I would go for it. I have dated women older then myself of like 15 years an younger women of like 12 years an I would say go for it. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/9/2012 12:30:14 PM | Sexing someone 20 years older than me, as long as he can keep it up, hell yeah.
Dating... not so much. There's just too many differences both in life experiences, pop culture references, and nevermind that it's old enough that he could be my father (or I his mother if I look at it the other way)--and that does creep me out a bit.
That being said, go with your heart and with no hesitations. If you hesitate, you know you're a little bothered by it too--and that's not fair for the dude or yourself | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/10/2012 6:16:46 PM | You know, I revisited the thread, read some of the later responses, from all those who would date movie stars, to those looking for a free ride, by virtue of death of the older party, to some of the other inane answers...
While I realize the OP, was sincere in her question and looking at it as a possible long term thing in her life. That belies the point, of the question in the OP tittle....
"Would you date someone 20 years older than you?"
That begs an interesting view of life. Dating is not marriage, nor is it sex, nor is it some version of physical prowess. It could be dancing, it could be dinner, it could be a msueum, or a Nascar race, or any of another 1,000 things.
If you met a man or woman, in your office, or out shopping struck up a conversation, found any number commonalities, things you both enjoy, would a "date" be so out of the question? I find it funny that so many of you, dimiss the things in life that make you, or any of us happy...because you are so focused on finding "the one"!!!
I can remember back in NYC, when I met any number of women, at least 20 years younger. They were focused on things they liked, things they were interested in, things they had a passion for. There were at least 4 times I can remember we went for dinner, had a great time, laughed like hell, were serious about the things we shared a passion for.
At the end of the evening, almost all, with one exception, said if I cared to, to call them again and we could go out and enjoy each others company...in all cases it had little to do with sex, or making out. It was all to do with who we were and what we liked or found interesting.
Frankly I find many of you stilted..out of touch with who you are and what you like...all for the purposes of that myopic view that "he may try and get over", or "she maybe after a free dinner"...that instead of having a few laughs or some interesting conversation, or doing a little dancing or whatever. You'd rather go home and twiddle your thumbs and dream about Mr./Mz. right! hahahaha!!
Life isn't timed by a stopwatch..or isn't defined by that stupid list you have that any potential meeting with a member of the opposite sex must attain to be worthy of your company for an evening.
JMHO | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:34:39 AM | I would date someone 20 years older, but it's extremely unlikely that it would become a relationship. I think a relationship works best when there's no more than 10 years age difference - but of course there are successful exceptions! I just don't think I'd be one of the good exceptions.
I have actually dated women as much as 13 years older to about 25 years younger. We enjoyed each other's company for what it was, but a long-term relationship wasn't our goal. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:38:23 AM | | i don't think men do well dating older women...especially significantly older women...why? because let's be honest, men are visual. guys, when you are 40 and the woman you are with is in her 50s, are you really going to be happy? also, men canhave children at any time; for women, there is a biological clock. so yeah, for women, it is a bit different. i think women do better when they date men that about 10 years older. i like men that are older - 10 to 15 is ideal, but i rarely end up dating men that age. for some reason, i always end up with men around my own age, which is fine, too. | |
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