| | Guys who say Call me in their first messagePage 5 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | You can either ignore them or delete them.. No one in their right mind would call a number given out in this way..... Please dont be naive...
Be wary of using your real name, where you live, and have a phone just for the dating sites so that any stalkers or crazies are separated from your real life....Dont meet anyone near where you live and webcam, use the landline etc before you even contemplate meeting hopefully in broad daylight just for a half hour coffee for the first meet.
Also, be sure to check under your bed every night for the monster with the really sharp teeth, that will shred your feet to the bone, but for some strange reason, can never seem to penetrate the sheets.
And remember to change your tinfoil hat at least once a week.
Be sure the burglar system is armed.
Don't forget to inject the pit bull with AIDS for the backyard.
And remember to feed the Great White Shark in the swimming pool. Let out a little more chain for the alligator in the front yard, and update the land mine map.
Better yet, forget all of the above, sign off this site, and live the rest of your days in a great big plastic bubble.  | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:38:39 AM | sensualsandie is right.
She just listed common precautions that all individuals should be taking with online dating.
I always thought anyone who makes fun or criticizes these is a sketchy person. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:46:49 AM | | Damned if they do, damned if they don't. Anyone who throws their number out there in the first email is wasting his time cutting and pasting. Some don't want to be penpals, some aren't the kind to be on the phone to even talk for 5 minutes, and some text incessantly. This narrows it down to cutting your losses of ever finding anyone online, so just stick to going out, mingling with the crowd at a party or elsewhere and hope you meet someone that can carry on a simple conversation of 5 minutes. If they can, then decide if you want to spend the next hour talking to that person, then THAT will be a deciding factor if they get your phone number or the other way around. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 10:09:35 AM | i get messages like this too, and i usually ignore them. i am not going to call some guy out of the blue like that. yes, i prefer that a man calls me, and i am a firm believer that if a man is interested he will call. i am much like a man in this regard - I DO NOT LIKE TO TALK ON THE PHONE.
i do NOT like the endless emails, talking, talking, talking, etc.. i would rather someone email me, say, hey, let's meet up for coffee. this endless talking and emailing back and forth really gets on my nerves, and i do lose interest very quickly if this goes on too long. i would rather just meet face to face and see if there is any chemistry. if there is not, then fine! move on! but the texting, talking on the phone, emailing back and forth is a complete waste of time because you could spend a month talking to someone only find out upon meeting that there is nothing there. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 10:24:15 AM |
this endless talking and emailing back and forth really gets on my nerves, and i do lose interest very quickly if this goes on too long. i would rather just meet face to face and see if there is any chemistry. if there is not, then fine! move on! but the texting, talking on the phone, emailing back and forth is a complete waste of time because you could spend a month talking to someone only find out upon meeting that there is nothing there.
HALLELUJAH! -- Preach it, Sister!
Unfortunately there are too many people in here that believe the online interrogation, background checks and drug testing need to happen before any personal interaction can happen. - B as in B, S as in S.
You meet in a nice safe local place, have a conversation, and move forward/or move on - simple as that. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 10:55:36 AM | She just listed common precautions that all individuals should be taking with online dating. I always thought anyone who makes fun or criticizes these is a sketchy person.
Here's to hoping you never find your mailman cute.. He knows where you live!
If you wouldn't treat the mailman, or the plumber, or the guy that delivers your paper, or reads your water meter like that.
Then why would you treat the guy paying for dinner like that?
There's a Thanksgiving sale on those plastic bubbles..
i do NOT like the endless emails, talking, talking, talking, etc.. i would rather someone email me, say, hey, let's meet up for coffee. this endless talking and emailing back and forth really gets on my nerves, and i do lose interest very quickly if this goes on too long. i would rather just meet face to face and see if there is any chemistry. if there is not, then fine! move on! but the texting, talking on the phone, emailing back and forth is a complete waste of time because you could spend a month talking to someone only find out upon meeting that there is nothing there.
PLEASE tell me there are more at home like you!  | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 11:09:21 AM | | Agrees.....I'd really like to know why people on here are so set with the policy of talking via email or PoF for weeks or months before meeting? If you are that scared or lack trust to meet someone face to face (agrees with the comments about it being in a totally public and safe place) and the emails go back and forth for a long period of time then what's the point in looking? If nothing is set as far as meeting within at least 2 weeks of first contact (depending on how often communication is made and life schedule of course.) then I just move on. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 3:32:16 PM |
Here's to hoping you never find your mailman cute.. He knows where you live!
If you wouldn't treat the mailman, or the plumber, or the guy that delivers your paper, or reads your water meter like that.
Then why would you treat the guy paying for dinner like that?
There's a Thanksgiving sale on those plastic bubbles..
I don’t really have a problem and have no idea what you’re talking about.
My mail carrier is female, I know my plumber for 13 years and we have great chats. I have no paper delivered and the meter guy is doing his job for which he gets paid to do. There is no guy paying for my dinner and the bubble belongs to you.
i do NOT like the endless emails, talking, talking, talking, etc.. i would rather someone email me, say, hey, let's meet up for coffee. this endless talking and emailing back and forth really gets on my nerves, and i do lose interest very quickly if this goes on too long. i would rather just meet face to face and see if there is any chemistry. if there is not, then fine! move on! but the texting, talking on the phone, emailing back and forth is a complete waste of time because you could spend a month talking to someone only find out upon meeting that there is nothing there.
Totally agree. I don’t do the phone and texting. In person is best and ASAP. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:15:21 PM | You DO realize that this:
Totally agree. I don’t do the phone and texting. In person is best and ASAP.
is a total and complete contradiction of this:
Be wary of using your real name, where you live, and have a phone just for the dating sites so that any stalkers or crazies are separated from your real life....Dont meet anyone near where you live and webcam, use the landline etc before you even contemplate meeting hopefully in broad daylight just for a half hour coffee for the first meet.
Don't you?
"Sketchy" person indeed..
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:20:16 PM | thank god i live in new york because i never seen women this protective over a phone numbers or maybe its because im more use to real life approaches , because in the real world it does not seem hard to get a phone number by just a proper intro. i mean hell you do get rejected sometimes but atleast its right to your face and you move on compared your looking for that response to a email you sent thats never going to come lol.
honestly i think online dating must spoil women because the same women wont mind giving their number so quick if they did not have these dating sites.it seems like supply and demand where the average girl gets more messages than she would have guys talk to her in public so she is allowed to be picky and go back and forth through emails while she sizes up other men she emailing to make them work there way up to a number.
i mean all this judgement on men who give their numbers in the first message,how about maybe they wrote a decent profile so feel that should be enough,or maybe he does not feel like siting on a computer for hours so he can wait to respond to generic boring "hows your day" message(thats if they respond in the same day or even at all) or even worse play 20 question(which is a question a message) in which 19 of those question were answered in the profile itself. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:17:57 PM | I have had a lot of conversations with people I have never met. We have laughed together commiserated and left without an introduction.
I think I give someone a number, especially my home landline, it means I am who I say I am, I usually have a good reason for it, eg other means of communicaion are clumsy but most of all they cant tell about me or vice versa, till a conversation - then the little joys or slips of racism, anger, sexism, intolerance etc come out.
If it isnt wanted just say you are not ready for it - nothing lost - something conserved. However a judgemental reaction to the offer of a confidence sends a particular message. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:33:28 PM | to supremex:
You DO realize that this is is a total and complete contradiction
Absolutely not. Wow, you must be very narrow minded to be believe that I can’t be safe and meet in person. You think in order to meet in person I have to meet at night time in the parking lot or a back alley some place? You also quoted someone else’s words as mine.
I am telling you that I don’t use phones and texting but I prefer meeting in person. I also said that sensualsandie is right. I said “She just listed common precautions that all individuals should be taking with online dating.” Apparently you have a reason why that would be a problem for you. Hint hint...
Here... Let me recap.
No phone calls until getting to know someone in person over a period of time.
Meet in person during daytime, in public places.
Use common sense and listen to gut instinct.
Period. Simple. Piece of cake. Happy. No problem. Now go bother someone else.
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mdgs
| | Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 114 | |
| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/24/2011 8:13:45 PM |
To the women, do you ever actually call a guy who puts his number and little else in his first message to you or do you move on?
I don't call. Absolutely not. In my experience those "quick digit" type of men are usually quite sleazy. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/24/2011 9:23:54 PM | Lol...ok...well here's a question for all the "make sure you call on a land line" people. What would you suggest people like me do....give them a work number? I haven't had a land line in almost 5 years. Got rid of it due to all the telemarketing and campaign calls. Had both land and cell for a while but everyone I know called on my cell. Most of my friends have gone exclusive with cell phones.
Or do you just say, "well either get a land line so I can call you or just forget it.". Way I look at it is if you already have a distrust for me due to something as stupid as a land line vs a cell phone then its not really worth my time or effort. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 11:36:30 AM | I have no problems with landlines or cell phones. However, I don't really use the phone when I'm trying to get to know someone. I feel there is no reason not to meet in person. If I don't find someone interesting enough to meet in person I don't keep writing them forever and ever.
I think when you're really interested in someone none of it will matter.
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 1:16:45 PM | Leaving a phone number in the first couple of emails seems like an attempt to bypass the natural process of getting to know someone well enough before proceeding to the next level. Or the person may not feel comfortable writing letters.
I have no interest talking to someone on the phone until I've determined if I consider them worthy of a more personal connection. Some posters have spoken disparagingly of "endless emails/texts," and while I agree there is a point where that becomes fruitless, I personally prefer establishing a basic email chemistry before going on to phone conversations and ultimately an in-person meeting.
If you're someone who dislikes emails and views them as horrific drudgery then it seems unlikely that you will be able to create good email chemistry (which would exclude you as a prospect for me, for whatever that's worth). | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:02:28 PM | In my experience those "quick digit" type of men are usually quite sleazy.
Are not; now can I see your boo....
KIDDING!!
if you already have a distrust for me due to something as stupid as a land line vs a cell phone then its not really worth my time or effort.
Not unless you're a psychiatist anyways. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:41:02 PM | i don't think i would call someone offering a phone number in a very first message. but, i will call very soon thereafter. i detest the email/message process. you can email forever. and for me, i make decisions based on phone calls. it is in my opinion the best early screening tool.
i have never had a bad outcome from calling someone, or them having my phone number. when it is not going to work, i tell them so or they tell me so, and we are done with calling one another. just last night i spoke to a man who emailed me 3 times. during the course of our conversation i found some things that made me mark him off the list. conversation is revealing......
kaylee | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:49:12 PM | Virtually....what the hell did people do prior to email? Did they say.."I can't ask you out right now...wait until there is something invented called e-mail. At that point we can communicate prior to actually going out.".
Why do we have to just complicate things more. Couple of emails...set up meeting....if that goes well ask for a number and then call. Do you seriously think that most people in relationships had to go through the 10 step dating system? | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:09:10 AM | haha so true. Not that I'm an expert on dating, but I think think a lot of people that do the on-line thing tend to add a lot of steps to the process that most people don't add. Although some people help eliminate any complication:
I received a message from a woman this morning: "Too bad you live in Lincoln." That's all they wrote. um...why bother contacting someone if that's all you are going to say? I did write her back though with a simple "I don't think so...have a nice day". Helped me eliminate the complication of having to contact this person any further.  | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:22:46 AM |
I received a message from a woman this morning: "Too bad you live in Lincoln." That's all they wrote. um...why bother contacting someone if that's all you are going to say? I did write her back though with a simple "I don't think so...have a nice day". Helped me eliminate the complication of having to contact this person any further.
You assumed she was taking a shot at Lincoln? I hope you understand that she took the trouble to pay you a compliment, maybe thinking she could put a smile on your face, b/c she liked what you said, wanted you to know she found you attractive, and still knows the distance won't work for her. Of course, given your response, she'll probably be thinking, "Wow, what a jerk!!"
The proper response to a compliment is "Thank you; how kind of you to say so." You do not have to say anything else. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:57:35 AM | Thank you for Assuming that I was assuming anything. And please don't give me the saying thanks thing. I've yet to have a response like that from a woman on this site. Never been one of the guys that brings up sex or Anthony that would be offensive. Always brought up something that caught my eye about a profile. Never received a response. Only women that tend to go past one two way response are the ones that respond to me.
Yeah I know most of the women on here get a million messages a day so they don't have time. Doesn't mean I have the time because I get one or two responses a month. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 2:17:58 PM |
The proper response to a compliment is "Thank you; how kind of you to say so."
Eaaasy on the guy..sheesh.
If she wanted to push for deeper conversation; she could have taken that HUUUUGE opening to ask why he likes Lincoln so much? (If for nothing else; but to find out more about the city and this dude she is trying to get to know more)
That would put the ball back in his court.His out could be :Sorry; I dont have much time to talk, and you're right, you're too far away anyways; best of luck" or something similar.
The man showed his pride in his choice of citys and locales, AND kept the conversation reserved and limited; that's all he did.
THAT.....is the tact I was refering to in replying, but making someone work REAL hard and stick their neck out a bit to get your time. Why would SHE retort though; she already ADMITTED it's too far right? (She probably still has eyes for him too; so bridge not burned)
;) | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:03:32 PM |
I received a message from a woman this morning: "Too bad you live in Lincoln." That's all they wrote.
They? If that’s all she (sorry, they) wrote how do you know she is schizophrenic?
um...why bother contacting someone if that's all you are going to say?
Well, if that’s how you feel why did you contact her? I would have been flattered.
I did write her back though with a simple "I don't think so...have a nice day". Helped me eliminate the complication of having to contact this person any further.
You really think she was asking for further communication or contact? Could it be that you’re being too uptight and unable to take a compliment? | |
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