| | Guys who say Call me in their first messagePage 6 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | Yeah like most of the women I've contacted. It's really sad the double standards. If a guy were to write that the one of the following would happen:
No response whatsoever.
Women would say just ignore it because it sounded pretty generic
Or don't bother communicating because all they want is to get you in bed.
HOWEVER if a guy says it he's supposed to be flattered that this woman took the time to write that and is supposed to thank that person.
Yeah I am growing cynical of this whole process. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/26/2011 11:02:20 PM | I can't speak for most of the women but there was no need to respond to her compliment. Same if it were a guy. That's just my opinion. Not sure why you're projecting your own double standard on to others.
If you really appreciated it and took it for what it was intended you could have said thank you and enjoyed the compliment. Otherwise, no action on your part was necessary. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/27/2011 3:13:58 PM | i give them my #, tell them it's 25 yrs old, i type w/ 2 fingers and can't keep up, it would be a big help to me. 3 have called me but most don't . if they don't, i let em go. i'm 63 and am a different breed. we don't rape women every 9 seconds and stalkers and serial killers were'nt invented yet, but i can understand their fear cause you can track their # to get their address.that's why i hate call waiting. it screws eveything up.
let me tell you what happened today. if i had spent 3 weeks emailing this lady instead of phoning her, i would not have known she had 22 birds consuming 2 bedrooms of her house, big Macaws, big cocatoos, greys, you name it. i rest my case5833LB | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/6/2011 10:38:04 AM | | I have run into this too. Although, it is not usually in the initial message. Sometimes, I send a message to someone, and they might reply once, and then after that they give me their phone number. I, too, do not feel comfortable with that. Recently, I exchanged a couple of emails with someone, and then I asked him a question about his dating experiences on here and he said it was too long to go into in an email. Well, after he gave me his number, I texted him mine. We chatted on the phone every day for three weeks, and then when it came to the night before we were supposed to actually meet, all of a sudden he tells me he will call me back, and I never heard from him again. Very bizarre! | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/6/2011 11:21:34 AM | | could be worse. I had one first meeting with a woman on here. About the time I walked back to my I got a text message from her saying how great a time she had and that she really wanted to see me again. We set something up the next Saturday. I got a message from her that morning that God had woke her up in the middle of the night to tell her that I wasn't the right guy for her. I'm like wow...I must be special....God took the time out of everything he's got to do in the universe to tell this one person that I wasn't the right guy. To be rejected by God, himself? Amazing. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/6/2011 11:49:14 AM | I received a message from a woman this morning: "Too bad you live in Lincoln." That's all they wrote. um...why bother contacting someone if that's all you are going to say? I did write her back though with a simple "I don't think so...have a nice day". Helped me eliminate the complication of having to contact this person any further.
O_o
They're giving you a compliment. Call me crazy but I always respond to these ones to at the least thank them. I mean they aren't by me so no reason to think I would mislead them and by the post itself they obviously are aware of the distance as well.
God forbid someone compliment someone else just for the sake of doing so.
Gheesh...
Met quite a few cool posters and lurkers on the forums this way. Really don't see the deal here. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/6/2011 12:26:57 PM | I have to say my tolerance level for these sort of messages goes up or down
according to my reaction to the person sending them. In fact, I'll take a lot more
from someone I like or find attractive than I will from someone that I don't like or
can't see myself with.
That works with me just about everywhere. It's why sometimes someone calling
me hon is creepy and other times it's endearing. I didn't realize I was the only one
doing this, I sort of thought it was a universal thing.
I also think "too bad you live in Lincoln" was also meant as a compliment.
Basically...too bad you live so far away, otherwise I like what I see....or something
like that. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:58:53 PM |
That works with me just about everywhere. It's why sometimes someone calling
me hon is creepy and other times it's endearing.
In the workplace, it's the difference between sexual harassment, and flirting. If you think he's cute it's flirting, otherwise, he's in trouble..  | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/6/2011 11:36:26 PM | it was just a flirty complement. I have done it.
I dont give out my number unless I have a real trust feeling for the person and I have his number first.
you can also press star67 when you call someone to keep your number private.
I just tell the man thats how I want it to be until I know him better.
that is due to a few negative experiences I have had with giving out my number.
not terribly negative,..but where the man just continually calls ,...I mean continually.
doing that can ruin a possible good thing. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/7/2011 6:54:04 AM |
In the workplace, it's the difference between sexual harassment, and flirting. If you think he's cute it's flirting, otherwise, he's in trouble..
Has nothing to do with whether or not I think he's "cute". Has everything to do with
whether or not he's a creep. Goodlooking guys can be creeps as well. Has everything to
do with how he presents himself, talks to me and how he treats me. Some creepazoid with a bad attitude who has nothing good to say about women and who treats them like
they are his next ex wife would definitely be harrassing me. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:31:56 AM | | If I liked his profile and photos, then I would tell that I would like to chat by email first before talking on the phone. See what his reaction to that is. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:45:24 AM |
Some creepazoid with a bad attitude who has nothing good to say about women and who treats them like they are his next ex wife would definitely be harassing me.
Unless he looks like Fabio.. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/7/2011 10:24:03 AM | I think many women who do not call a guy when he sends his number are missing out on lots of great guys. I have met some great women that way.
To the women who say what would I talk about. You are missing the point...the guy will carry the conversation. The last lady who called me we talked all night.
Women must have good standard to go by, when calling guys. Girls, you have that feeling guys don't, so use it. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/7/2011 12:15:46 PM |
O_o They're giving you a compliment. Call me crazy but I always respond to these ones to at the least thank them. I mean they aren't by me so no reason to think I would mislead them and by the post itself they obviously are aware of the distance as well. God forbid someone compliment someone else just for the sake of doing so. Gheesh... Met quite a few cool posters and lurkers on the forums this way. Really don't see the deal here.
I think she was just making a statement that too bad I live in Lincoln. I didn't take it as anything but a statement. She only lives about 30 miles to the north of me. Distance like that has never been a big deal to me...but I've discovered over the years that it is to others so I just blow them off anymore. I've never dated a woman off this site from the same city I live in. They never respond...so I try the ones that live over distance. I've just gotten to a point of why bother. hell I tried one that was 8 hours away. yeah I probably should have just let that one go and not responded.
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/18/2011 7:51:42 PM | Coyotefeller:
The garbage detector is functioning very well thank you. It was never off-line. I am not one to settle for less. One mistake in judgement is allowed. The rest I have seen comming from a mile away and terminate e-mail correspondence with a very nicely put thanks but no thanks. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/18/2011 9:39:19 PM | Hi! I think that if both parties have shown mutual interest then, it should be the man that gives his phone number because of the dangers out there to the women! I'm sure men get into some fatal attraction situations also but, the majority of stalking is probably done by men. I'm not very good at typing and would prefer to talk on the phone rather than type with my two finger method for hours on end. Women can be quite chatty! ;) There's three sides to every story so, give us a break! The computer is so impersonal and talking on the phone gives one a better sense of who and WHAT they are talking to! | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/24/2011 11:21:56 AM |
I think that if both parties have shown mutual interest then, it should be the man that gives his phone number because of the dangers out there to the women!
Okay, but what about guys who say call me in their first message without even knowing they are going to get a reply? Do they really expect to receive a response from non-hookers? | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/25/2011 6:31:29 AM | I don't understand this.
When we were kids/young (mid 20's) adults before cell phone were popular, we gave someone we were interesting in our number. There was no such thing as call block or caller ID.
You talked on the phone a couple of times and then met.
Funny how everything has changed and people are so odd about behaviors that were normal for us.
At least with cell phones we can block someone from calling. We know who is calling. They won't have a clue where we live as the numbers aren't listed. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:53:37 AM |
I don't understand this.
When we were kids/young (mid 20's) adults before cell phone were popular, we gave someone we were interesting in our number. There was no such thing as call block or caller ID.
You talked on the phone a couple of times and then met.
Funny how everything has changed and people are so odd about behaviors that were normal for us.
At least with cell phones we can block someone from calling. We know who is calling. They won't have a clue where we live as the numbers aren't listed.
Agreed. Some people are trying to be sensible here but most of it is just forum nonsense. I do agree that a woman should not call a number sent to them on an opening email. Not because it is necessarily a Nigerian serial killer but because it is presumptuous to assign a stranger a particular task no matter how trivial.
I always used to ask for their number in my third email, not second and not fourth, but third. I could do it with reasonable expectation that they would give it to me because I said I would ask them in my profile -- nobody was caught off guard. I always asked them for theirs because I wasn't going to require that they do anything. I never gave mine. I stated so in my profile, I'm the guy and I'm supposed to call YOU first Was optimum for my type. Your results may vary.
A woman who sent me her number before I asked (which was often the case) wasn't a slut or desperate. She was merely someone who wanted to get the show on the road.
On occasion, I would misjudge a profile and get someone who refused categorically or had a comfort zone as wide as a razor blade. I ask, they balk then I write something like "Well it has been loads of fun but job one is to meet somebody. Time I got back to the task at hand. May Mr. Dynamite come along any day now. Best of Luck." Every once in a while, not often, but sometimes they would send their number in the very next email.
I know what you are all thinking... "I would never give my number out after three emails. I need 200 before I am sure I want to get to know you." Remember we are not talking about forum people. How likely is it that I would be emailing forumites? | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/25/2011 6:02:51 PM | | This thread is about giving out numbers in an initial e-mail, - not second, third, or dating period. Complete strangers, out of the blue contacting you, asking you to call them! | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:20:45 PM | It's almost as bad as all the idiot ( and I'd really like to see them come on here and explain why they do it) guys that come on here and send women the messages about sex and hooking up. The ones that women say in their profile that if its what a guy is looking for to move on.
Do they ever find women to respond to them? Is hope not. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 1/1/2012 1:36:45 PM |
I don't understand this.When we were kids/young (mid 20's) adults before cell phone were popular, we gave someone we were interesting in our number. There was no such thing as call block or caller ID. You talked on the phone a couple of times and then met. Funny how everything has changed and people are so odd about behaviors that were normal for us.At least with cell phones we can block someone from calling. We know who is calling. They won't have a clue where we live as the numbers aren't listed.
I know eh?
Sort of an anti-social and freaky commentary on our society today vs then.
Everyones a badguy or badgirl until proven otherwise; and no amount of common sense and protecting yourself will save you.
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 1/1/2012 2:59:37 PM | I never ring a guy until I've shared stuff here on pof. I never give my email address out (and I have a few, for different purposes in life) nor give my phone number until I've met the man face to face and like him well enough. If he gives me his phone number on the first message I simply say, thanks but no thanks or as "let's converse" a bit more on pof.
One time, in the first message, a guy wanted my phone number. I refused and asked him for his (tongue in cheek), he refused, saying he didn't do that sort of thing, and I said, "well neither do I." End of story. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 1/1/2012 4:28:41 PM | I think someone leaving there number on a first message looks desperate as how do you know if you even click whatsoever.
I think the number of time that goes by before swaping numbers should be based on how the chats go, I too have had men waste days and days chatting and not swapping numbers and it always fizzles out or they delete there account just as the convo turns to meeting up.
So I wouldn't mind having a few messages then a number swap if I am getting a good vibe. I'm on here to meet people not make pen pals, which can easily happen on this thing.
Also some of the best dates I have had are where we met up pretty quick, after all you want to leave something to talk about when you actually meet for real!  | |
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