| | Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40sPage 12 of 15 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15) | Sex is a very important part of any healthy relationship. If you don't want to have sex, then don't date. But don't pretend it's not important because it is.
I will say this. I tend to move quickly with physical seduction (not full-blown sex, but kissing, etc...) because in the relationships where I've played this stuff slowly, I've been friend-zoned and bailed.
Generally speaking, I don't have to wait three months to decide if you're gf material or not. The point of asking you out on a few dates it to see if you're gf material, and if you are, then I ask you to be mine exclusively.
The point of having the exclusive relationship to begin with is getting to know somebody, it doesn't work the other way around. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:16:14 PM | | U will be in out the door zone if that would be me. If guy can't take te to get to knows he can go. Someone who I sleep with I should be involved with be in exclusive gf/ bf relationship be my best friend as well. N well we not going to get there on first second or third date. It will take weeks be if guy can't wait he can go n I will waith for one that can. N yea they r there those is the only kind I date But that's my opinion | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/19/2012 9:37:28 PM | Yes. Life is too short and sex is too important to throw it around to everyone you date with. When you have the liking, respect and trust with someone who you are also intimate with, it is a LOT better.... especially when there is genuine affection, good role modeling for your kids in valuing yourslef and the other person, and emotional intimacy.
When it has the other variables, it is more intense and a lot more fulfilling anyways; so yes I do like to have it be part of a relationship with someone I am fully involved with.
And with three kids living with me (even though they all are over 18); I don't want to show them a lifestyle that is one I wouldn't wish on them, or one that has inhereint health risks as well as not being as emotionally fulfilling.
Passion combined with affection, liking, respect, value and trust? Off the charts hot.
The other cheap and empty, at lesat to me. Though I know many other people feel differently; and more power to them if that is the case. Everyone's different... | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/20/2012 2:12:48 PM | | Wait for what you want. Don't sell off parts of yourself [such as sex] like commodities. We live in a culture that worships immediate gratification and pleasure at any cost, and as a result, most people miss out on what's really worthwhile. Yes - relationships are not always easy and so people just want to extract the physical part, but where do you end up when you're 70 - alone on a park bench because you wasted time on people who just wanted "the goods" instead of taking the time to get to know you! | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/20/2012 10:15:14 PM | Actually I think women get fed up with me. Maybe I move too slow but I do not care. I actually prefer to get to know someone before sleeping with them.
Its alway better when its with someone you care about..... | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/21/2012 12:08:06 AM | ^^
that is not a bad thing... that is a VERY good thing; but the question is, how slow are you actually moving?
some people slow means you wait a few months wtih a lot of interaction to get to know each other.
Some people mean months with a date every week or two where you don't even hug.
The one is respectful
The other feels cold and disinterested.
You can show physical affection without full out sleeping with someone. If you don't even hug or goodnight kiss?
It will be a little tougher. But waiting for the other? Can say firsthand it can be incredible once you finally take that step and you have the other stuff there; it is amazing.
More power to you... | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/21/2012 7:21:24 AM | abelian
So how long would advice your sister to wait..... she thinks he is hot on the first date would you say GO for it.... if it is meant to be it will work out if not then try the next guy and the next and the next? I mean if your sister said I have slept with 102 guys and they never stick around what would you advice her to do? And if you are attractive as your sister it is really easy to come up with a couple of 1000 guys who will buy you dinner then sleep with you.....
Now keep in mind they have college degrees, great jobs and most own their own homes. They are traveled and well read. They are of all races. What would you say she change to weed out the guys who are just trying to get their pee pee wet and the guy who is serious? | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:42:06 PM | | ... And every guy who goes on here and agrees with the OP .... says he's not like that... he too wants a relationship... etc... is probably not your type, correct? :) | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:47:53 PM | | Every guy i've chatted with off this site immediately wants sex, is married and wants to have sex while his wife watches, wants me to have sex with his wife as he watches, or wants me to have sex with he and his wife. When i said "every" thats a little bit of an exxageration, but seriously its an alarmingly high percentage of the messages ive received. I'm close to giving up on any "decent" guys being found on this site . ( I love sex just as much as the next woman, probably more!) but im not handing my goodies out to just anybody that has a sweet-tooth. I havent come across anyone that has real substance. ..oh well, atleast the forums are entertaining when im suffering from insomnia lol. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/22/2012 12:34:25 AM |
Every guy i've chatted with off this site immediately wants sex, is married and wants to have sex while his wife watches, wants me to have sex with his wife as he watches, or wants me to have sex with he and his wife. When i said "every" thats a little bit of an exxageration, but seriously its an alarmingly high percentage of the messages ive received. I'm close to giving up on any "decent" guys being found on this site . ( I love sex just as much as the next woman, probably more!) but im not handing my goodies out to just anybody that has a sweet-tooth. I havent come across anyone that has real substance. ..oh well, atleast the forums are entertaining when im suffering from insomnia lol.
It doesn't get any better if you're a guy. Basically every girl will ignore your email or make plans to get together and then disappear. At this point, I would rather be involved in some sort of Eyes-Wide-Shut-Voodoo-Sect than doing nothing. That's the movie where they wear masks right? I'm sure there are decent guys on here, but you may not be attracted to them, so you're back to square one. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:20:03 PM | Ha ha! Im slow but not that slow! I will show affection even on the first date if Im feeling it (and I can tell she is.) I wont sleep with someone on the first date though. Make sure that there is a connection before we share in sexual positions and emotional investments. (as long as that takes). Know what I am saying?
"It doesn't get any better if you're a guy. Basically every girl will ignore your email or make plans to get together and then disappear. At this point, I would rather be involved in some sort of Eyes-Wide-Shut-Voodoo-Sect than doing nothing. That's the movie where they wear masks right? I'm sure there are decent guys on here, but you may not be attracted to them, so you're back to square one."
So true.....Im not sure what they are looking for but I think its Thor covered in tattoos who Drives a BMW and has the white picket fence dream already set up and waiting. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/30/2012 6:52:30 AM | You are so right , but if u can look into each others eyes, witch are the portals to your soul , you will know if its right
:modhammer: | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:34:49 PM | | Yes I feel the same way. Im so sick of these guys that just wanna jump straight in bed. I want a man to love me first. Lke you said, I want the whole package. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/4/2012 11:28:31 PM | So, let's all take off our stupid hats and just analyse this problem...apparently guys don't want older women, and women don't want older guys, therefore both sexes are forced into a catch 22 situation. If a guy doesnt have kids until he is a bit older then he is not "normal" , and apparently finding a women in her thirties "attractive" is the product of a demented mind. And vice versa. Maybe an older person feels they can lure a younger , more innocent morsel into their web and trap them and mould them into a "perfect package" ...and bye the way, You are done with it? the entire sleezbag factor?... That means you went there? Nobody is the whole package; you get all sorts of packages out there. Life is like a box of chocolates; or a wheel within a wheel; we are all spiral architects of our own destiny...
Guys are hornbags, naturally, but if they are rich, and goodlooking, and charming, like me... then they magically become a "catch" , and not a boorish hornbag.
Its a matter of chilling out, not labeling others, not creating all these mythological "packages" and "categories" for people. But ifa lady thinks I'm going through our marriage without invigoranting my vital fluids every now and then, it is not going to happen.
the biggest issue facin over thirties is the..."Don't want more Kids factor" If a professional gentleman , who has been career oriented for his younger years finally wakes up and says: "I need some rugrats". sometimes he has little choice but to seek a younger female, thats why Ana nicole smith was such agood match with her 80 year old magnate husband | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/5/2012 1:26:49 AM | | Completely feel the same way u do, All guys want any more is sex and it is rediculouse! What happened to all the good men out there? I am more that just sex, get to know me first then we will discusse sex! | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:16:50 AM | I dunno about all guys, but I know for some reason my luck happens to be that in the last few years every guy I seem to meet is not looking for a relationship at the moment, but they seem to have no problem having fun. I have to laugh about it because I think it's a sign at this point. I have been hoping to find a serious relationship, but I think fate is trying to tell me it's not my time lol
I try not to lump all guys into one, but it seems now days...Men don't seem to want to commit as readily as they used to years ago. Just my experience. It seems FWB is the way most go because it gives you all the other stuff without the burden of committing. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/6/2012 2:11:53 AM |
Completely feel the same way u do, All guys want any more is sex and it is rediculouse! What happened to all the good men out there? I am more that just sex, get to know me first then we will discusse sex!
That's strange. The majority of guys I know, incuding myself want relationships. I would rather be in a relationship than a friends with benefits situation.
I try not to lump all guys into one, but it seems now days...Men don't seem to want to commit as readily as they used to years ago. Just my experience. It seems FWB is the way most go because it gives you all the other stuff without the burden of committing.
I can only speak about myself and the men I know. Most of my male friends are in relationships or seeking a relationship. A very very small percent of men I know want to "play the field" or strictly do "friends with benefits". Maybe dating websites attract more players. Who knows. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/6/2012 6:34:25 AM | Guys want relationships with women who they want relationships with. If guys "only want sex" from you, then it just means, for whatever reason, you don't have what it takes to attract those guys outside of the physical. It's not the guys' faults, it's either yours for not being mentally/socially stimulating for whatever reason, or just a lack of compatibility.
The only "difference" between men and women (and this is by no means universal) is that they generally have a a different "tier" system.
Men:
a) women they won't have sex with
b) women they will have sex with but don't want to be in a relationship with
c) women they will be in a relationship with and will have sex with
Women:
a) men they won't have sex with
b) Men they will be in a relationship with and have sex with
A LOT of women are missing that mid-tier, and therefore, get confused with guys that will only have sex with them, assuming that means that guys only want sex. It's not true at all - look at the billions that are in relationships - it's just that guys don't want a relationship with THEM for whatever reason. And, because they only equate sex with relationships (whereas a lot of guys don't, which is a mix of biological and social reasons), they get confused. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/6/2012 10:26:27 AM | Good men looking for relationships beyond just a sex partner exist and I'm sure there are many on PoF. They're just often ignored with unanswered messages for whatever reason. For some reason, there's a huge disconnect on what women are looking for in their profile and what their actual responses are leading them to.
I'm sure it goes both ways as well and we all have experienced those horrible dates.
If you keep finding the same type of guys with the same undesirable results, take a risk and try someone you normally would ignore, you never know where it'll lead you... | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:20:40 PM | I've been noticing that...I think hey I finally met someone who wants to talk and then meet up...and before we even meet up the conversation turns to sex.
It's a turn-off for me because I think they are only interested in sex, we'll go on the date and we'll have sex and that will be the end of it - chances are yes!
I agree most men are thinking SEX...I think its more our culture now, sex is such a big part of everything around us. It's not like way back when women we're actually respected for having a bit of class and not giving some ass on a first date! | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:23:17 PM | | It's easy to weed out, but agree the good ones are few and far between. They just have a brain freeze and have no control - kinda like a five year old. What's the f'n rush? Everyone wants it. It's normal. The stupid ones just don't know how to play the game right. Classes held on Saturday at 9:00 a.m. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:31:33 PM | Seriously, what's wrong with just looking for a sex partner. I not trying to be rude but most women these days have nothing to offer other then a good time. And that's only when they can find a baby sitter. Tell me, why would a Good looking man who has his own place, his own car, makes good money . want to get in an exclusive relationship with a women when you can have a new one every week if you like. and i don't know about the other guys , but it seems i have can preserve more money being single. in addition if you have a Job who will be giving more waking hours with to your boss then me. and lets not forget about the kids. So, other than sex, what else should we want... the faster women realize that you all lost the home court advantage.. this is not hte days of old where you had to promise commitment to get some. those days are gone.. trim is every where. and why would we give it all up for one female who wont give you kids. and demand you help take care of theirs.. Girls who believe in waiting for the right time is going to have a hard time competing with a females ready to give it up right now. and yes i respect all the women i slept with and remember the experience fondly. well mostly. And if you waiting for the whole package, then you telling every man that reads your profile he not getting none. which, BTW, ladies, stop telling men that you not looking for a booty call, one night stands yadda yadda yadda. Never ever tell a man or give him the impression he wont get any. you can live it you don't have to say it. that kind of comment chase away even the men who are not just looking for that. In fact, if you wabt to see what kind of man you are dealing with, you should pretend like you are easy. watch how fast he exposes his self.
In short, most of you women are only good for a good time. seriously it's to many women out here. | |
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