| | Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40sPage 14 of 15 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15) | abmccray
What the heck do you keep getting tested for if you aren't having condomless sex? "Oh what a lovely day; I think I'll get tissue scraped out of my urethra for no reason - sounds pleasant!"
I had to do a quick check on your profile to see your age, you seem to be exceedingly clueless for someone who is 33 years old.
First, condoms do not provide 100% protection. Especially not if you give or receive oral sex.
Second, where in the hell did you get the idea “get tissue scraped out of my urethra” ??? That is NOT a part of testing for STDs. For anyone who does not know, they take a small sample of blood, and a urine specimen. From this, they test for HIV, Herpes 1 and 2, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, and hepatitis B & C. This cost me $185 when I last had it done, a few weeks ago.
This is not charged back to my health insurance, and is not performed through my doctor’s office, and is not on my medical record.
And for HeyDerHay (above), I have to agree with Abelian. Please go to Christian Mingle and leave us poor sinners alone. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 11:39:49 AM | Most doctors, by far, do swab tests for chlamydia and gonorrhea. It's actually exceedingly hard to find doctors that do urine tests, as it's traditional, and widely believed that swab tests are more effective (they are, by around 2-3%, which is irrelevant). They are also anywhere from horribly uncomfortable to painful. I've had more than enough, and thankfully, finally found a doctor that utilizes urine to test (since I generally test after any new partner).
Urine tests are (thankfully) becoming somewhat more common, especially as advertised on online-based tests, but, as stated, are still quite rare, especially if you're going to clinics and general practitioners/personal-family doctors as most do.
Unless the condom breaks, you only have a chance to catch syphilis, herpes, or HPV from sex. You can't really test for HPV in men; the other two are covered in a blood test.
However, a full STD test would include a swab (most often, by far) or urine (less common), which is utterly pointless if you're having sex with a condom, which is the point I made.
Also, many doctors "laugh" at you if you're a male, using condoms with heterosexual sex, getting an HIV test - since it's basically a mathematical impossibility for you to get it in that way. Every time I get one, the reaction is basically "seriously - it's a waste." | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:12:38 PM | The men who are willing to wait are generally not men in very high demand.
The men in high demand are not so much willing to wait around.
Date uglier, shyer, less assertive, less interesting men. Problem solved. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:33:02 PM |
Also, many doctors "laugh" at you if you're a male, using condoms with heterosexual sex, getting an HIV test - since it's basically a mathematical impossibility for you to get it in that way. Every time I get one, the reaction is basically "seriously - it's a waste."
I disagree. Its still good to get tested even when their is safe sex. Monitoring your status never hurts. I've horror stories online of people contracting the disease even though the sex was safe.. Just saying.. Be careful of choices in partners. I test twice a year and im all good! Always used condoms. Heck, i even test when im not having sex. I dont trust "window peirods" Cause anyone can become positive at anytime. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/1/2012 12:00:46 PM | | to b honest im fed up with girls that have no respect for them selves and jump straight into bed with u it would b nice to actuly get to know someone first | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/2/2012 8:38:27 PM | | I don't know why woman feel that we are the ones getting all the benefit from sex, if he is getting it done your getting just as much benefit. Ladies your smart enuff to know weather its just about him wanting sex or if he is really into you. I have sceen plenty of woman drool over a hot guy like a t-bone steak, and if he is hot enuff you dont caare about the rest. My point is don't place all the sex interst on us, and us your heads, u know what vibes your getting from him. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:50:19 AM | For starters, I think it is important to remember that if a man doesn't want to have sex with you from the start, he doesn't want to date you either. No sexual attraction = no dates.
Yes, sometimes men ask me out and as it turns out they ONLY want sex from me and that is frustrating. One thing these men all seem to have in common is that they are outside of my league, so to speak. They tend to be better looking that the average man who would date me, or they have impressive jobs. I think they are deliberately stepping down a notch or two because it's easier for them to get laid. I don't blame them for that as I think it is a similar dynamic as friend zoning a less than undesirable guy, the only difference is the male does it to easily fulfill sexual needs and the female does it for emotional needs. All I can do is be true to myself and my needs, without playing games or trying to force a guy through hoops. Fortunately, these guys bail pretty quickly. (Just recently I met someone for a drink, who then extended the date to dinner, and then extended to another drink after dinner, and then extended to a night time walk in the park, and then I went home. The next day he emailed me saying he felt we didn't have any chemistry. Looking back on it I realized that he just thought I was worth a shag from the get go... and of course this guy was way out of my league in the first place!)
If every guy you go out with just wants to have sex, you are probably punching above your weight. It's time to date men who are less attractive - easier said than done of course! | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/10/2012 3:18:36 AM | | Clap,clap,clap.plus a woman don't want a commitment theses days and she should thank her ex because now she can use him as a escape to the reason why she's whoring around or sleeping with younger boys its because she always wanted to be lose n sleep around. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:52:19 AM | | the problem is with women love bad boys. The guys that take consideration of a womens feelings, and listen to them turn into the friend zone. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 4:51:43 PM | | I am 56 yrs old and my boyfriend is 51 and our sex life is great. Us older women love sex too. I'm proud we met and we satisfy each other greatly in friendship and sexually. We feel we were truly meant to meet on pof and get together. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 5:29:59 PM | it really depends on the woman, we as men, and this is gonna sound totally retarded, but we as men look at a girl and think, ya..id do her.. or ya id give it a try with her.
if your one of the "ya, id do her girls. we don't want to hear that.
if your one of the give it a try girls, me on a personal do respet the whole waiting thing.. but i do believe there is a time to either sh%t or get off the pot, if ya wait too long ya just end up in the friend zone. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 5:35:46 PM | actually, i can remember back in the day when they did use one of those wooden handled qtips to get your samples...they poked it in your pee hole then gave it a spin...that was when i was a teenager. nowadays though, your right, it is all done with blood. although when i have it done it doesnt cost me a penny, found a clinic that does it for free.
good idea to get checked out fellas.. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/14/2012 4:36:58 PM | I would say, for the most part, this can be true but I think it is more realistic to say that women want the same thing that men want...they just refuse to talk about it out loud and admit it. "Knight in shining armor", hold your purse while shopping, gentleman in public then spank your arse, grab your hair, give it to you good in the privacy of your bedroom.
This may not be the most perfect example but, you probably get what I'm saying.
_countryboi92_
the problem is with women love bad boys. The guys that take consideration of a womens feelings, and listen to them turn into the friend zone. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/19/2012 8:00:56 AM | | Men see a double standard these day's. Women can get layed when that's all they want and that's ok. If men feel the same we are branded pigs. Men want respectful women not hookers but some times we all just want a fling. Women have such high expectations are judgmental and change their minds when it suits them. Most of my male friends have given up trying to please women which is unfortunate for the good women out there. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 9/16/2012 10:33:14 AM |
I don't speak for all men, obviously, but I have enough respect for women to wait. My last relationship went almost 2 months before we had sex. I think there are good men out there, it's just a matter of weeding through all the bs to find them.
On the same note, who's to say we are all just after sex? I chose not to pursue a relationship once after a few dates because I did not feel things were 'clicking'. I went the 'friends' route and I was accused of bailing since I did not get sex within two dates. Just food for thought.
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Can I get an AMEN brothers.
If I don't want to sleep with you either there is something wrong with me or worse I think there is something wrong with you.
If I like you and want to sleep with, but an willing or worse want to wait then there is something wrong with me. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 9/16/2012 8:49:40 PM |
Men dont settle down anymore. I hate to say it but they dont.
...cause you know, women do.
OP: There are just as many flaky women as men, though men generally don't have huge shopping lists of requirements to want to be in a relationship with someone. There are still some decent guys out there who are interested in settling down, but they might be missing a tooth, or their nose is a bit crooked etc.
If I'm into someone, I don't mind taking the time to get to know them. If I'm not, bye bye.
Just keep plugging away, meet people outside, friends of friends, friends of co-workers, uses sites like this for another avenue to meet people. Out of 100 people you meet you might have chemistry with 1. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 9/20/2012 10:33:32 PM |
I have sceen plenty of woman drool over a hot guy like a t-bone steak, and if he is hot enuff you dont caare about the rest. My point is don't place all the sex interst on us, and us your heads, u know what vibes your getting from him.
To be fair, guys are more suspect of doing this, except guys usually plan out an escape route before the date, because they go in with the plan, that this is gonna be just a few nights of sex and no strings attached, so from the get go- no matter what they tell to the woman- they have already decided about not having a relationship other than sex. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 10/19/2012 10:23:21 PM | | I don't do sex with out a strong emotional attachment. Yes there are guys looking for love and commitment. Sex just to have sex does not interest me at all. I know i'm not alone in that. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:21:56 PM | | I am new to Toronto and the dating scene here. However, in other provinces and countries where I have had relationships the large majority of the men I have dated have been extremely patient and willing to allow our relationship to progress at my pace. (I like to take things slow, I am confident and I take care of myself.) My advice know the pace you feel comfortable proceeding and be firm about this, reject the men who do not respect you.. there are plenty more fish in the sea. Focus on your own personal development, doing things you love and taking care of you. Open your heart to men who are different than those in your past, include some foreigners... overall in Toronto things seem to move faster than other places in the world. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/18/2012 12:58:03 AM | | I totally agree with you... People are so shallow and always looking for the next best thing and they dont realize it is right in front of them | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/18/2012 4:44:25 PM | | Listen, both sexes desire the affection of the opposite sex, but making love is so much better. And in order to share that feeling you must first find the person that you can both be friends and lovers with. Not all of us guys are ***holes, but I suggest that you hold out for the right one before you take the leap. The sooner you open the cookie jar, the higher the chance the relationship will fail. If he is a real man looking for the real thing he will get to know you and listen for as long as you want to talk and wait for the physical part of the relationship. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/19/2012 4:57:14 AM | stop hating on men and listen..... This kind of web site is gonna come with a lot a faults, one of them being creepy men. i'm 33 and if i have to wait for sex i'm more than happy to, because it means the women sitting across from me has standards!!!.
not all men are bad! were on a dating web site and the founders on it are supplying everyone needs. that why u have stuff like casual dating, looking for a relationship (like myself) and intermiate encounters, its for a woman to choose. plus dont for get u can web chat before u meet up. | |
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