| | Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40sPage 9 of 15 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15) | In my last relationship I waited 3 years, then we got married and we had sex on our wedding day. 9 years later she's sleeping with another man and has thrown me out of her life for no reason.
My point???
Some men are truly looking for the whole package too. Sex doesn't mean loyalty or love or commitment. Sex either supports or destroys an already built up relationship. The whole package has it's faults too as you probably already know from your past marriage. I guess you don't really ever know a person until you've been through tears, laughter and anger together.
I would never have sex with a woman unless I believed we would spend the rest of our lives together, It would be unfair if a child was murdered through abortion because of selfish sex partners. Or if a child had been rejected by a parent... Sex has serious consequences. And throwing a rubber on doesn't protect against crabs. LOL | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/16/2012 1:05:49 AM | I'm older and normally I will nail a 20 something. They like older guys just like I used to like having sex with my mother's best friend when I was a teen.
I finally met a young woman that I want to marry but I want to wait to have sex until after her father marries us. We're all Catholics.
I think she thinks I'm nuts because she's never had a guy come at her like I have. I just feel that for me and her it's maybe a once in a lifetime chance to do it like that.
I admit, I've always been a sex addict.
I'm just at this place where my spirit is calm since I met her. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/16/2012 8:59:28 AM | If you treat her like a queen, the man will get his reward in return later down the road.
I love holding hands and deep kissing over sex. Why am i still here?   | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/18/2012 7:00:47 AM |
If I am not good enough to date I am not good enough to have sex with either.. all that does is still leaves one alone on holidays and weekends...
I couldnt have put it better THANK YOU. I get exactly what you are talking about. They seem to think we are 22 year olds who just discovered our naughty bits. COME on. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/18/2012 11:17:44 AM | | After being married for 16yrs and three daughters i feel i have a high respect for woman. as for jumping right in to bed all men feel that is a win,win, but what really is a win,win is finding someone that you can build a intament relationship with, not just sex. I have never asked a woman out but seem to be waiting to be asked. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/18/2012 8:40:00 PM | the last girl i dated begged me for sex several times. I guess spending the night cuddling is out of the question w/ some people even when they say we can jus cuddle. I ended it w/ her cause it only been a month and a half and I wasnt ready ID NEVER EVER HAVE SEX ON THE 2-3-4TH DATE!  | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:24:33 AM | it's all just a big potluck drawing in my opinion. I personally am not looking for JUST sex, but you would be suprised at the number of women out there who are. It's just as hard for men to find someone as it is a woman. ...just my opinion.. hell i get soo many profile views but nobody ever talks or initiates...I'm not an ugly guy and don't understand how 1000 people can view you and barely any of them are attracted. lol.. oh well, like i said, one big potluck. I've met some, some were looking for less than me, some were looking for more, but let's face it, not all are compatible and not everyone is going to have chemistry, which is the most important thing to me past initial attraction, some intelligence is a bigger turn on than some would believe also. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/20/2012 9:56:07 AM |
Sex doesn't mean loyalty or love or commitment. Sex either supports or destroys an already built up relationship.
The big mistake is making sex some big deal, some big pedestal. Traditionalists will follow this, but it ends up rushing marriage based on sex. It's not natural to hold off sex too far past your puberty years; that's culture (and a girl's dad) talking. In today's day and age, marriage is not a necessity for survival or happiness. It's best to get married when you're already a full-matured adult -- which is about 10 years past being a sexual being. If one goes a traditionalist route, and underneath it all in today's environment commonly being not such a great fit, it can end up destroying a relationship.
I would never have sex with a woman unless I believed we would spend the rest of our lives together
You're putting the cart before the horse, though. The reason relationships can be fall due to sex is that one puts it in huge regard as a milestone for something. Not doing so doesn't mean sleeping around, btw. It just means that sex is a natural part of any relationship for an Adult, just as making out is, but just requires more of a comfort zone and knowledge that there's something continual at least going on. If you treat sex like some bad thing or some pedestal-oriented endeavor, you're going to actually be one of the ones who's obsessed about sex more than many people who have sex a bit too casually. Not good -- but I'm sure it's part of your upbringing so you can't expect to shed that mentality overnight. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/20/2012 10:14:02 AM | | Funny how some women in their 30's and 40's claim men are after only one thing, while at the same time, these same women want the same thing, and free meals to go with it. I don't know of any self claimed "single "ladies in there 30's and 40's who are not looking to get intimate with their "partners," but I hear that when they get married they often no longer wish to do so, because that was just a way to catch their ultimate prey. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/20/2012 7:49:32 PM | | I agree! theres a certain point, whether your wanting to "wait" or not that you know you will sleep with someone or not. If your not interested in "that" way with a guy, you need to say so and let them move on. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/21/2012 2:02:43 AM | | It is very difficult to blame men or women here. It all depends on how we perceive dates. For me it is very sacred,and I care to never hurt sentiments. But still I had some bad experiences. And am sure many of the men are sex centric. But in the end it is all about how the particular individual have been raised. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/24/2012 11:13:11 AM | | im 30 aswell, and dont want sex, but any man i talk to just wants sex, i just want to find a nice decent bloke to have fun with and not always want sex. are there any decent guys out there like that? | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/24/2012 11:51:15 AM | "im 30 aswell, and dont want sex, but any man i talk to just wants sex, i just want to find a nice decent bloke to have fun with and not always want sex. are there any decent guys out there like that?"
^^^Why would a guy want to date one of his friends? Alas I am sure a woman can find a guy just like that, but I am sure that type of guy would not be attracted to her, or attracted to women for that matter. I for one am not going out with a woman just to be her friend. I am going out with a woman because I am Attracted to her and want to be with her. And as a general rule, the getting up close and personal would of already occurred with her before the date happens. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/24/2012 4:16:42 PM | haven't gone through all the messages here, but well,i'm 40,... and separated since 2010. Before then I hadn't been single since 1989!!!!!
Now in my experience, to my shock, i've found the men i've dated to be so similar to how you'd expect a young man to be, ie, ........ well you know what i mean.
~So much so that although i'm a naturally optomistic person i'm actually becoming quite jaded by the whole dating wotsit! :0 x | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:08:08 PM | | I don't see anything wrong with wanting sex. it's wanting to have sex with everyone in the tri-state area that's a problem... | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:49:02 PM | | I feel that when it feels right then go for it. Sometimes it takes a little time and some times it feels right almost from the start. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:35:30 AM | Well, when I was of that age, I was perfectly willing to wait things out, if with the right person, until things felt comfortable. More often than not, it felt rushed. (which can be a bit of a comedy of errors, really.)
But even now, I'd still hold to those same values. I think they work at any time of life.
When I was 21, I had a best friend with whom I waited a year, before things became physically intimate.
I just don't think it works (for me) if it ever feels too desperate, rather than making a choice based on mutually shared strengths, and understandings - of the trust issues, or whatever it is that causes a person to want to apply the brakes for a spell.
And what really caught my eye is the comment about needing - as opposed to wanting.
Mature people, comfortable in their own skin and in their own lives, tend to look for complimentary, rather than completion. They're already complete. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/26/2012 11:47:17 AM | Being a female requires more sexual responsibility then males. Women can become pregnant and it is harder to clean and inspect a vagina. This leads to higher scrutiny in selection and advancement of relations.
I have grown to appreciate taking it slow. If she lets me hit it on a first date then she will do that with some one else. I don't want a long term with a girl that will cheat on me easily. The anticipation of being intimate is attraction. Once a relationship becomes intimate trust is the attraction. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:11:57 PM |
I have grown to appreciate taking it slow. If she lets me hit it on a first date then she will do that with some one else. I don't want a long term with a girl that will cheat on me easily. The anticipation of being intimate is attraction. Once a relationship becomes intimate trust is the attraction.
Exactly. There's nothing wrong with taking it slow. You definitely take a relationship more seriously if you don't sleep together on the first date. Trust and loyalty are number one. You definitely don't want a partner that will cheat on you because they're bored in the bedroom and aren't mature enough to communiacate with you, or some other reason. | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/27/2012 5:18:36 AM | | well i do i was married before too unfortunatly my x used to use sex as a tool and i never want that again i want a real partner not only in bed but out of it too someone who wants me as much as i want them yes i agree with you totally | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 2/27/2012 5:24:43 AM | | well i hate to break it to you sex is a part of a relationship if 1 a month is good for you be a nun you dont have to have any | |
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| Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 3/7/2012 1:46:42 AM | now i may not be the right person to even be posting in here but i believe that there is always somebody out there that thinks the way you do.. for example im 23 and i always put a relationship higher than sex.. imo there is nothing greater than just bein with the person that makes you feel good.. sex is just the bonus  | |
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