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 Blusher66
Joined: 10/20/2011
Msg: 26
Walking Out during First MeetPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I have been told by women friends that women can be that rude with no problem, if they have an issue with something. If she did not like what I said then how about saying I have to get up early so I need to leave. Simple
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 27
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:27:53 AM
Agreed. But all women are not responsible for these experiences. It's really important not to generalize even if other people do.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 28
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:29:15 AM
I have been told by women friends that women can be that rude with no problem, if they have an issue with something. If she did not like what I said then how about saying I have to get up early so I need to leave. Simple


What the...

Been told by women friends? People in general can be rude with no problem. Besides, would it really be rude if you're not into the person at all and don't feel like wasting any more of their time or potentially their money if she or the both of you aren't enjoying yourselves?

What she did was rude. Saying they have to get up early and leaving is a polite way to end a date that simply wasn't going anywhere. Not sure how that could be considered rude. I would much rather a woman tell me right away if they aren't feeling it or are disinterested than waste our time. Maybe it's just me.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 29
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:32:34 AM

femaleconnection: The only time I would advocate someone doing this is if she showed up and something about your profile/previous discussions was a full on lie.

from OP's profile:
Two of my pics are not recent but I assure you I am in as good or better shape now.

 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 30
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:34:36 AM
Then don't stick it out. Tell them you're tired or whatever floats your boat and politely get the hell out of dodge. Why is it so difficult for some to simply end it on a polite note or polite as one can be under the circumstances and simply move on?

No reason to bail without letting the other know you're leaving or suffer through the date if you find it to be that unappealing.


Walkingtall you would have had to be there to understand....it's a case by case thing. This man would have been traumatized if i left, he was telling me his life story, and was sooooooooooo into it. I was showing mercy, he needed it.

Sometimes you can excuse yourself, other times you sit there and other times you go to the bathroom and don't come back. You don't know how rude he was being. Some guys don't handle rejection very well.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 31
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:37:04 AM

Walkingtall you would have had to be there to understand....it's a case by case thing. This man would have been traumatized if i left, he was telling me his life story, and was sooooooooooo into it. I was showing mercy, he needed it.


I suppose that could be true. There are some out there that seem to follow that pattern unfortunately. Kind of sad really.

I guess I tend to look at things more from my perspective than how others might react or perceive things.
 RadiantSpirit
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 32
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:38:59 AM
@OP Wow that is kind of rude. I don't think that is the norm. I would never do that unless I felt endangered. Even if there was no connection I would still just chit chat and finish the date.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 33
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:41:38 AM
I guess I tend to look at things more from my perspective than how others might react or perceive things.


You are a man, you have that luxury. When a woman meets a man she doesn't know very well(my date was from the real world, i passed his business everyday) she needs to size up the situation. He could be a live one.

And this guy in particular, ex pro athlete and successful business owner still displayed signs of being obsessed by calling numerous times everyday for a week even though i told him i wasn't interested.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 34
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:42:28 AM
Wow you must of been doing something awful to get them to run from you.I would be very interested in hearing her side of the story.I have a feeling it would not be flattering to your side.


People can be so oblivious to their own terrible behavior.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 35
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 12:23:38 PM
Taking the story at face value, this is a prime example of the kind of "mentally challenged" people on "online dating" sites who have not yet been clinically diagnosed.

Leaving someone just hanging because you are no longer interested is behavior one would expect from a 12 year old, not an adult.

 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 36
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 12:28:55 PM
I agree with Landra, I would have to hear the conversation that took place, or what she expected to see? I'm more inclined to think she met you didn't like what she saw and decided to bolt, could she of been more classy and said , sorry this isn't working for me? yes.

I did that once, met a woman at a cafe turned out she put her friend pictures up , I just said WTF? and said I'm sorry but the fact that you lied and worse used someone else pics is not only dishonest and frankly a waste of time, I wish you the best and I left.

I have no problems in saying and doing that, but some folks are not I'm not sure of the word but some don't have the courtesy of letting the other person know.

Its not women that can be rude men can be as well, so I don't think it gender specific pal, you mentioned this happened you many times? I like to know as in first meetings or relationships?
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 37
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 12:40:04 PM
Is it the woman scratched out in your main pic?

I met a man that was freaking tweaking and I lasted a beer and about 20 minutes and said "Goodbye, gotta go, nice meeting you.
I paid and got out
It wasn't nice to meet him at all. Downright freaky.

But I sure didn't OWE it to him to stay once I thought he was high.

I have met 12-15 years older and 90 pounds bigger from old pics.

I made it through, so either she is the rudest bytch I have heard of or this isn't ALL there is to it.

How old are your pics?
How much different do you look?
Were you drinking?
Is there any hair left?
Are you really 56?

You probably misrepresented yourself and she wasn't wasting time being nice about it.

 getanet
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 38
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 1:13:54 PM

Oh yea this type of thing has happened to me many times in my relationships. I never even know what I said and wham ISSUE! Very weird how some women turn things into an issue.


It was rude of her. But your quote above, OP, is curious to say the least. If you lack social tact, that could be an issue. Was her walking out preceded by a particular comment you haven't made us privy to here?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 39
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 1:26:58 PM

I have been told by women friends that women can be that rude with no problem, if they have an issue with something. If she did not like what I said then how about saying I have to get up early so I need to leave. Simple


You have to be old enough to understand and know that many people have no idea how to handle ANY confrontations at all. You and I may find what she did as "rude",but, if ya ask her, I'm betting she could come up with quite a few reasons for her actions.

It is what it is, and this is what we got,,,,,today. Not the way I would have handled it,but obviously, it's the way SHE handles it.What do ya do?????
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 40
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 2:30:34 PM
Welcome to the world of online dating.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 41
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 2:31:49 PM
A friend told me that he showed up for a date and the woman was like 20+ lbs heavier than her pics. Having dealt with it in the past and being sick of it, he looked at her and said 'I'm sorry, but you've misrepresented yourself. Goodbye'.

I thought that was just plain awesome! Lol..

If the woman in your case felt you likewise misrepresented yourself, she should have had the temerity to say so. But she didn't. I agree that it was rude, but if this sort of thing has happened to you before, you might want to look at putting up some more recent pics..
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 42
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 2:32:50 PM
i did a few daytime first meets at a small park by a local pier. nice and casual and open, so it was safe and inviting, while also being easy to break away from if things were an instant dud, which only happened once.
 blueceleste
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 43
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 2:57:07 PM
there were idiot guys i wanted to bail but i didnt tried to make the most of it. there was one guy i bailed on he turned into a complete****ead and he deserved to be walked out on.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 44
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 3:50:24 PM
Message:
i did a few daytime first meets at a small park by a local pier. nice and casual and open, so it was safe and inviting, while also being easy to break away from if things were an instant dud, which only happened once.


imo, I never would say I ever meet a dud! cuz... I don't date to date but date to meet, & when we both think we should do so.....capish! It may not yearn a second date but still it was ok if you are true to yourself....cuz that won't change.

And for those who look for dates cuz of a pretty faces are a dime a dozen,& if that's the case, imo ...... welcome to online.... cuz you still need to do your homework! jmo

& op, trust me most of the folks here do not date their pic's! hummmm.......you do the math who is honest in that.....but I don't date cuz of what they look like 10 years ago but what they are now......so please seek those who are not in the past, but present,looks & character....jmo
 Sully8545
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 45
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 3:50:55 PM
If this has happened to you more than once, I think you have a problem somewhere. That's just strange. I'd like to hear her side of the story before I judge her.
 MuscleMermaid
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 46
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 4:03:30 PM
She probably felt you did not match photos, etc. As I have ran into this on more occasions I wish to even discuss . However, I simply call the guy out on it. Not use * forgot to feed the dog* as an excuse. LOL

What she did was rude however most people are afraid to call people out on things. I am sure it i not over * another guy *. Maybe once she has it happen a few times, she will just start doing what I do ~ sit by the EXIT door, and simply tell the guy he is not a thing like his photos and that there is no attraction.

I do suggest losing the 2008 photos. I can only imagine .....not being mean either. A lot of people on here claim to be Athletic and have the good old OLDER photos. And claim they have * not changed a bit *. Yeah.,.....sure. Get some updated ones. Include full body shots. And meet ASAP to avoid this.
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 47
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 4:05:02 PM
Wow that was horrible... did you say something or do something wierd? I cannot imagine that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 48
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 4:14:53 PM
This is why I keep first meetings short, inexpensive, convenient. So that neither person feels trapped to the point where they want to walk out - let's face it, we all have wanted to leave 10 minutes into a night where you have a long time to go. Most people can handle 30 minutes pretty well, so that's what I try to stick to.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 49
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 4:18:33 PM
30 minutes is normally a good idea, but if the person is a swamp donkey or big time lied its less than 5 minutes
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 50
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:47:50 PM
..Maybe it was something you said or did ??...otherwise she was just plain rude and you're well rid of her!
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