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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?      Home login  
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 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 51
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle? Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Men coming back because they realize they've thrown away the best thing that could have happened to them is the stuff of movies and romance novels. Sure it happens once in awhile, but this guy is coming and going which makes him a total flake not a romance novel hero.

Now put away the books and find a real man.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 52
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 11/27/2011 10:51:27 AM

Men coming back because they realize they've thrown away the best thing that could have happened to them is the stuff of movies and romance novels. Sure it happens once in awhile, but this guy is coming and going which makes him a total flake not a romance novel hero.

Now put away the books and find a real man.


could not have said it better myself.

Smarten up now about the dissapearing act.

It does not mean they realized anything.

It means they are alone and they hate being
alone and you are familiar, soft and you smell
pretty.
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 53
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 11/27/2011 4:30:21 PM
I wonder this too, OP. I would hedge a bet that every woman also has men coming and going in these "cycles".

The nature of mine is that when they're "here" either in the beginning or their last one, they can't leave fast enough; they really were never "available" in the first place (perhaps not even to themselves but that's another story), yet sure like to spend lotsa effort convincing me that that's all they want.

The interesting part though, is the "returning", especially when, after going thru it a million times and fed up with it, I've told them that's IT, it's DONE....and after awhile here they come back yet again (the part I don't understand!!!) and I practically have to threaten life and limb to get them to leave me alone.....!!! And it wouldn't surprise me one bit if they come back...yet again after that.
 cityfangels77
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 54
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/28/2012 6:58:50 PM
i had this happen t omet more then onces . i think its becaosue the guy likes you but not enough to keep you . he will keep you on the back burner , until either the girl he is chasing after dont want him or no one else is around . either way if you stay a doormat for him he will use you like one . my guess go and find someone else that wants you more then onces in a great while or love yourself and build up self worth . the last guy that jerked me around like that i told him finally that he was not into me and i moved on and you need to as well . i would call him up and tell him off or tell him you deserve better
 SONNI100
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 55
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/28/2012 7:44:50 PM
Why do you allow it?
 jackiejc
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 56
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/28/2012 8:28:33 PM
You are on their list .but not at the top! He is hanging on in case the other three don't work out!Lots of shallow guys out there also !Hopefully if he contacts you again you will not answer or give him the time of day and good luck.
 LadyPeeking
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 57
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/28/2012 9:18:43 PM
I also like what Carptopus had to say...
Sugar, how did you walk away from him? Did you just block/delete and go silent?
Or did you text/write/call him to say bye?

I have gone thru this before and not too sure which way would be better to walk away from this sort of behaviour?

*leaves a warm hug as I know how you feel*
 badwin689
Joined: 3/11/2012
Msg: 58
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/29/2012 7:29:53 AM
He is not interested in you at all. All he wants is to **** you and that's it. If he was serious he would call you as soon as possible. He was with other women at the time and he only messages you when there is nobody else for him.
I have know a lot of guys like this and they are all the same. I personally am not like that, if I say I am going to call you then I will. He thinks he is still in high school and acts the part. You deserve better than that.
 Pichieloo
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 59
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/29/2012 7:38:45 AM
Some do it on purpose to see how interested you are, and some will do it because they are really mess up! You are going to find a lot of guys that suffer from depression and if things don't go their way.....they will have a little tantrum of attention and will go away for sometime and then comeback.

Your case sounds like one of those depression cases!
 Wedne003
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 60
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/29/2012 8:19:26 AM
Let me ask why do woman do the same ????

We all play games to some extent
 marcus_biggs
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 61
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/29/2012 8:38:29 AM
Your boring, and not fun.
And probably not giving up puussy.

And if you did, it wasn't good.
Which makes you backburner puussy.
 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 62
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/29/2012 8:41:43 AM
OP...the man is a porcinic SoB. You needn't worry about what this toad does. Block him, delete him from your mind, and find somebody worthy of you.
 marcus_biggs
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 63
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 4/29/2012 8:41:52 AM
Oh, and don't even pay attention to the ladies comments..
They don't know jack about why men do this... Only men do, and we have spoken.

Youur backburner puussy.. If there is absolutelyy nothing more interesting going on, he'll reach out to you, to make suure your still there.
 meetasweetlady
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 64
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/9/2013 7:35:51 PM
This is sadly a case where you are picking the wrong men. You deserve to be treated with respect and force yourself to delete this problem from your life. Re-visit your criteria, and spend time identifying the characteristics that are meaningful, and select men with those attributes. Hope this is helpful.
 Onbendedknee1
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 65
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/9/2013 8:20:34 PM
wear more shiney objects they have the attention span of a knat . Heck most of them are still trying to figure out how to put the toilet seat down
 unki121
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 66
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/9/2013 10:25:49 PM
Guys and girls both do this.I call it a puppet show he pulls the strings and waits for you to dance.Why do people do this I don't know.Just ask him say don't bull sh*t me what are you doing and what do you want,and as long as you are a puppet there will be a show,but to me it sounds like he is keeping you on the back burner for "TOUGH TIMES" if you get my hint,or he is married or involved.Hope I could help keep your chin up
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 67
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/9/2013 10:53:59 PM
I have said this so many times but hey it is Sat. Night I am not dating here in Klamath anymore so I don't have much else to do besides write here in the forums and go to sleep.

(then again i could be reading or writing in my book...hmmmm)

OK OP LISTEN

Stop allowing this person or ANY person to devalue as a person. If he/she is not talking to you or responding to you or being present in your life then leave them be.

You are a valuable person. Your time is worth more than pacing about and waiting on someone else to say hi to you.

Take your life back and go do something with it that involves people who are clear about wanting to be in your life.

Shew ok...I am done.
 strawberryrippleicecream
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 68
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 12:11:36 AM
Yes, - he is suffering from forgetfullness - whether it's deliberate or not is the question.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 69
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 6:44:29 AM
Seems you're the flake and needy one who keeps going back to them. Just don't answer them. They're either a) just not into you or b) think you're a flake.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 70
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 8:00:17 AM
Bermuda Triangle effect. Some things happen in life that prevents some of us from being in contact on a daily basis, but if this is a pattern with this guy, you need to nip it in the bud!
 carmella divine
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 71
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 8:58:15 AM

so this guy I've liked for almost a year has done this to me over and over. We'll text and call for weeks then he disappears on me, like I don't hear from him for months at a time. Then one beautiful day I get a msg on facebook saying, "Hey, I'm sorry for being a **** and ignoring you I was just frustrated with my life, if you still wanna talk msg me back.." So I messaged him back saying it's alright, hope you're doing fine now, etc. So I basically tried to let him know yeah I still wanna talk to you. And guess what? He didn't reply back. I called him once after that and his roomate told me he was at work so I said can you tell him to call me when he gets in and he never did. He has no cell phone right now but that's besides the point, he has a house phone if he really wanted to contact me.
This was a few weeks ago now. I use to get really hurt by his behaviour, now I almost expect it but I still don't understand. Similar situations have happened to my friends too. I just wanna know why men do this? What do they gain?

Op you say you called and text this guy for weeks, and its being going on fora year have you ever met or gone on a date. Is your relationship all carried out on the phone.It seems this relationship has not gone beyond phoning so the guy does not see you as anything bar a casual friend really. Please correct me if I have misunderstood.
If you have actually dated, he is now messing you around and picking you as the last gasp entry in his black book. Dont just delete his profile as he can still message you on FB, go into your account and block him. Block him on your phone too, you don't need this in your life and should expect more.
Dont let your emotions rule your behaviour, think clearly and act in your best interests not his. Get rid of the trash.
 Tinkerr Belle
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 72
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:57:37 AM
Many reasons...messing with you by playing mind games, seeing you as just Plan B, he's not sure about you, he's not ready to make a commitment, he may love you but not free at the moment, he has issues going on in his life which need to be sorted out first.

Why he keeps coming back - he could be definitely interested. He tries to break away, but is not able to.
 Re-animator
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 73
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Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:17:34 AM
I'm just going to state the obvious; those men are just looking for the next best thing. For a while, you're it. When he gets tired of dealing with you, he moves on to a different woman. Then in hindsight, he forgets the things about you he didn't like, and comes back for another round. Often, it's sex driven; he doesn't want to put up with the time necessary to start a new relationship to reach the point where he can easily have sex with someone, and sees rekindling a past relationship as a shortcut.
Then he bails, and repeats the process with someone else.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 74
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:26:15 AM
The OP asked this almost a year ago.

People will treat you how you let them treat you in most cases. Accepting ones behavior tells them it is, acceptable behavior. See also, screw me over one time, shame on you. Screw me over again, shame on me.
 Cyclingforfun
Joined: 4/9/2010
Msg: 75
Why do men disappear and then reappear and its a cycle?
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:58:12 AM
Why he keeps coming back - he could be definitely interested. He tries to break away, but is not able to


That is because of the chain she has around his neck. LOL
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