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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
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 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 401
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no pic: worth the risk?Page 17 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
Mr. Ping? Sorry to hear that. I never did understand why folks would try to pass off other's pics, use old deceiving pics etc. When I email here, if a man doesn't have a pic, I ask if he can send one. Most are accommodating. Yet as Ping points out, tis no guarantee they are the age, size and person they say they are...ah, dating..not for the faint of heart!
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 402
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/9/2012 2:01:51 PM
Moon..

It happens. I understand why someone, anyone, would put up their best (to them) picture, however, deceiving someone is worse.

People have to accept themselves, before they can accept anyone else.
 MDIYM59
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 403
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/9/2012 4:13:22 PM
I've have gotten emails from ladies with no picture on their profiles, but they all were willing to send me a picture before we met in person (as am I). While no "love connection" yet, they were nice ladies and more attractive than I had envisioned. Since I don't have a picture on my profile I think it would be hypocritical of me to demand a picture and not send one. But no, I won't meet without some idea of what they look like first. I need some physical attraction as well as common interest.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 404
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/9/2012 4:16:32 PM

I need some physical attraction as well as common interest



^^^I couldn't agree with you more however there are a great number of folks who call this "shallow", egotistical, and a lot of other names I can't post here....Call it whatever you wish but to me? Physical attraction is truly part of the whole package. Dont care how nice one is
 MDIYM59
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 405
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/9/2012 4:38:51 PM
I don't thinks it's shallow unless all I was interested in was a pretty face. Plus I want her to like what she sees when she looks at me too. I don't want a woman to think, "man he's ugly but he's a nice guy so I'll date him", lol. The attraction should be mutual.
 lookn4funf
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 406
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/9/2012 9:13:21 PM
I do not have a pic on my profile. I dont because i live in a small town where everyone knows everyone elses business. i also work some where with a couple hundred other people also in another small town. I do not like being talked about behind my back or to hear the snickers about what i do behind my back. Iam not married or involvedwith anyone. So for you all to say no way to even chatting with someone that has no pic psted, THE HELL WITH YOU. Iam shy as well,so if you dont understand that there are other reasons that people dont want everyone to know what they do, then too bad for you. Its your loss.
 pillowbliss
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 407
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/10/2012 9:41:33 PM
Each to their own.
I don't have pic, as I explain in my profile I work in mental health and for obvious reasons prefer that clients have zero insight into anything other than my professional responsibilities.
I do however, at my descretion offer to pxt. I have quite possibly the worst techno around (fact)skills and have just purchased new LT. Once I have aquainted myself with this beast I will upload to my email...and send.
Any1 not comfortable with that simply doesnt need to contact me. Simple! Looks wise I would like to think I'm at least average.
 Khelrane
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 408
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/11/2012 9:52:44 AM
In general, I don't bother with people without pictures, *but* some people have valid reasons for not doing so. Putting aside the ones who are cheating on a spouse, what about someone who....

* Is in law enforcement (not, presumably, in the hands of law enforcement...)?
* Works in a high-profile job?
* Is in politics? (Um, ew, sorry...)
* Is very shy?

Read the profiles, and see if there might be a reason for there being no picture.
 stevie114
Joined: 11/20/2010
Msg: 409
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/11/2012 8:55:13 PM
I dont post a pic but offer to send one upon first contact with a man. I have had many
men tell me I was beautiful. Dont know if they meant it as I have only had contact
with a few on here.
Dont want my pics on here for 2 long as I had a stocker.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 410
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/11/2012 10:12:06 PM
ohenryx

If they were too shy to meet, they were not real in the first place. Why would they even be on a dating site? No pics, no dice. How hard is it? Something to hide in most cases. Men outnumber us by huge ratio so they do a disservice to themselves by not being open upfront. If they think the pic will put a prospective person off then the real meet will probably do it, anyway.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 411
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/11/2012 10:13:49 PM
stevie114

Can you not report the stalker? I can understand a woman not putting her pic up front but you take your chances even with an email pic later and then they know your addy.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 412
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/11/2012 10:16:27 PM
NOt likely to say that you are ugly but will date you anyway. Hellooooooo!!!Why would a woman date a guy she does not fancy and finds repulsive??? Too much choice for women to settle for that anyway.
 tam92967
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 413
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 3/12/2012 3:05:07 AM
my first thought is Married or already in a relationships
 cookierella
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 414
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/20/2012 7:49:32 PM
I don't have a pic on my profile, but I want to exchange pics before I meet with someone. It makes sense.
 ReliableSoul
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 415
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:08:42 PM
If the only thing you are seeking is attractive appearance... then by all means only reply to people who post pictures that appeal to you.
But if you are truly seeking someone you will connect with on every level, go ahead and contact anyone who sounds interesting.
Looks fade but personality tends to last much longer
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 416
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:30:25 PM

I need some physical attraction as well as common interest



^^^I couldn't agree with you more however there are a great number of folks who call this "shallow", egotistical, and a lot of other names I can't post here....Call it whatever you wish but to me? Physical attraction is truly part of the whole package. Dont care how nice one is



Uh huh...we eat with our eyes.


...mae
 ecochick1962
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 417
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:41:58 PM
I will happily chat to a man without a pic, but there is no way I am going to meet them. The way I see it they looked at mine and got to choose whether to contact me or not based on how I look, why am I not entitled to the same infomred choice. They almost always offer to send me a a pic, but to me this is a red flag ....with MARRIED printed on it!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 418
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/20/2012 9:59:21 PM
Good looking men with it all going on are just players on the dating sites. Stands to reason they have a woman somewhere. The red flags soon wave if you are in any smart and alert. No pic is a huge red flag, huge!!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 419
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/20/2012 10:02:24 PM


Cookiella

DOes it not lessen your chances of contacts? I find that hiding the pic means very few contacts when I dont want to be bothered. Works a treat.

I think you should see a pic sooner rather than later and even webcam if you are going to actually meet. Looks are what it is about initially and a dating site is for sex and so on. Lets not go the "its shallow" route, because it is not. The pic is the criteria that we choose to show interest with as as well as the general profile.
 tuloa942
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 420
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/20/2012 10:49:25 PM
The best and longest relationship that I've had since my divorce was with someone that I met sight unseen. Turned out that he was THE best looking guy that I've ever dated counting those that I dated while I was young and in college. He was also one of the nicest of the men!

I made the first contact and to be honest, if I had seen his photo, I probably would not have written to him because my self esteem was a bit low at that point. I contacted him to comment about something in his profile and it just got better and better from there. Unfortunately, there were some obstacles we could not get past so I had to end it. I still regret that we couldn't work it out but what is meant to be will be.

p.s. I did have his home phone number and full name which I gave to my friends and met in a very public place where my friends knew where I was so precautions were in place. Everyone, male and female, should always take precautions!
 zunflower
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 421
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/21/2012 6:29:25 AM
For a while, I did not put pictures up because I didn't want men to hit on me because of how I looked. I wanted them to read my profile and see if they liked me - the person.

Once on match.com, without a picture, I received about a thousand replies. I wish I had kept what I had written, but it had a heading something like "Black Widow set on Killer Match."

Virtually every single response started with, "You have to be a writer to be able to write like that." (I am.)

There are many reasons people won't put up a photo.

a) They're well known and don't want to be identified.
b) They're embarrassed that someone they know will see them and think less of them for dating online.
c) They aren't particularly attractive looking, and if they put up a picture, they will never get a date.
d) They're married, wanted by the FBI or other alphabet agency, or their high profile job would mean they need to be discreet.
e) They genuinely have no photographs. I didn't have photographs of myself until a few years ago because I never had any taken for about three decades (I hate cameras and freeze when they come my way. Currently, only my daughter can take a half way decent picture of me.)

Would I respond to a post without a picture?
No. Physical appearance is very important to me.

Am I shallow?
I doubt it. :)

I wouldn't respond to someone who didn't have intellectual stamina either - and that shows up in the kind of response I receive.
 Kari1961
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 422
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/21/2012 7:43:03 AM
I'd never respond to a message from someone without a profile pic ~ or do I do a 'search' for anyone without photo's.

If I went into a bar tonight, I wouldn't go out with a paper bag over my head, would I?

So why advertise yourself on a dating site without a photo? There is no real excuse for not having one. Some may have hang-ups about being on here, but so what! I've noticed people I know in real-life on here, but I aint gonna mouth it all over town, as I'm on here too! I even saw one of my daughters old school teachers on here ~ so occupation shouldn't have anything to do with it either. I doubt very much if any of his ex pupils are going to be looking for a man of his age and he's intelligent enough to know that.

Physical appearance is a big part of initial attraction and although I haven't got a 'type' I still want to be attracted to a face and a personality equally. My choice ~ like it or move on :o) simple.

Also I don't like the 'If you let me have your email I'll send you a recent photo' line....hell no! I don't give out any personal info until I've at least 'chatted' with them via here. Again, my choice.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 423
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/21/2012 11:59:09 AM

So why advertise yourself on a dating site without a photo?


Because the site allows you to.

I have a phone # but I don't list in the white pages of the phone book.
 AJ2517
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 424
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/21/2012 2:08:21 PM
The ones that don't have a picture because they live in a small town or don't want to be "hiton" are poor excuses!!...If you live in a small town and are not married or cheating or lying or whatever, I would think the "small town" people would know you were single so who cares about trying to find a date?????...Makes zero intelligence to me...Some men and women "think" they are all that and then some and sorry to say but that shows a red flashing sign to stay away because of other insecurities etc....Keep the no picture on your profile and good luck with that!...We are what we are, why some feel bad about that is the initial problem!
 Sunshinelady555
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 425
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 4/23/2012 3:54:50 PM
I have met a man without a photo but not on POF.
Just because they do not have a Photo on site, does not mean they are Unattractive!
I've seen plenty of unattractive people with a photo on here. lol
He did provide a photo before we actually met. It wasn't bad at all.
I read Profiles more than I look at pictures , so I may be in that small percent on the
Internet dating.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?