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 Cheburashka
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 26
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Sex texts before you meetPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Just tell them its to soon, otherwise whats the point in meeting in a pub at all, might just as well meet in your bedroom.

Answering it is like falling back with your legs in the air and then wondering why he is only interested in sex.
 lonleyrob
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 27
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/27/2011 4:40:02 PM
As mentioned earlier in one of the posts, if you haven't met someone and the comments all turn to sex I would say they are after one thing!!!

Obviously there may be comments with some "risque" but if it crosses the line you need to ask yourself if they are right for you in the long run.
 chelly55
Joined: 12/1/2009
Msg: 28
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/27/2011 5:10:07 PM
I have had this situation many times – when men contact me and start with the sex chat I usually just tell them off and then block them. One in particular was very persistent in his subtle personal questions chat and kept telling me he wanted to know more about me (before we met) so I thought I’d play him at his own game, I asked him very personal questions about his sexual performance, the length of his di ck, if he was a quick comer, how many times a night day he could manage it, could I spank him hard and tie him up and put a gag in his mouth (really winding him up) and do you know what he called me “ A dirty old bit ch” then he blocked me Just goes to show some like to dish it out but they can’t take it
 lonleyrob
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 29
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/27/2011 5:19:29 PM
Well Done chelly55.

On some people I agree that could be the right way forward but I suppose a lot could depend on the person on the recieving end of the reply, its possible they could take it in the wrong way and it could make the situation worse.

Suppose its a case of going by your gut feeling and if needed getting the block on so to speak!!
 Romi_74
Joined: 1/5/2011
Msg: 30
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 1:22:47 AM

and do you know what he called me “ A dirty old bit ch” then he blocked me Just goes to show some like to dish it out but they can’t take it


Oh Jeez, what a d*ck head!!!
 qedeshim
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 31
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 3:16:25 AM
Why not look at it from a different angle. The starving dream of lots of food, and thus the sex starved dream of sex, sex, and a dollop of sex on top. But sex from reports and studies lasts minutes, which is a fraction of the day, week or month, and is more like the adverts in a film than ever the main feature. So maybe sex although having a physical component, has a symbolic one too. Many men seek a cook, childminder, cleaner, and such, all the things his mother provided, apart from the sex.

Research shows that the initial fervor of sexual intimacy, tends to not be so thrusting after a couple of years or so, where routine, and being taken for granted, tend to undermine the previous fervor. Obviously Life experiences should have demonstrated this, but its easy to forget while sexual curiosity starts to develop, in the early stages.

Most people have two faces, the public and the private, which can appear to contradict themselves, when embodied in a single individual. Some have additional relationships, to work, career, hobbies, interests and such, thus one can find one plays a diminished if not peripheral part in the relationship.

As for sex texts before one meets, could appear to be far from the positive statements it suggests. Almost everyone has sex, enjoys sex (unless damaged through trauma) and as genitalia function is universal, unless psychological damage influences the interpretations, if someone likes you enough, its on the cards anyway, sooner or later. Sex is no big deal if like food you always have a banquet, but it is a big deal is one feels starved. So maybe sex texts are a way of the insecure to attempt to eradicate doubt, in a schoolboyish way, through pushing boundaries in writing they could never manage in real life.
 shortbutsweet63
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 32
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 3:22:31 AM
have had this situation many times – when men contact me and start with the sex chat I usually just tell them off and then block them. One in particular was very persistent in his subtle personal questions chat and kept telling me he wanted to know more about me (before we met) so I thought I’d play him at his own game, I asked him very personal questions about his sexual performance, the length of his di ck, if he was a quick comer, how many times a night day he could manage it, could I spank him hard and tie him up and put a gag in his mouth (really winding him up) and do you know what he called me “ A dirty old bit ch” then he blocked me Just goes to show some like to dish it out but they can’t take it

Oh Chelly thats brilliant

Its not just in text though many talk that in chat either on here or msn too..........that just gives them away that they dont want a relationship.......block and move on I say
 fairytoothmother
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 33
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:14:14 AM
You could guarantee as soon as a guy asked if you had msn where the conversation was gonna be heading! If a guy starts sending sex txts before we have met then he is gonna get told to grow up and get a life!No offence to you young guys but it does seem to be the younger ones who do this.It pisses me off big time that they are under the impression us older women must be gagging for it!
Only the other day i had some guy of 26 just message me asking if i would have sex with him!Blimey!,we hadn,t even said hello first!
 shortbutsweet63
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 34
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:20:34 AM
You could guarantee as soon as a guy asked if you had msn where the conversation was gonna be heading! If a guy starts sending sex txts before we have met then he is gonna get told to grow up and get a life!No offence to you young guys but it does seem to be the younger ones who do this.It pisses me off big time that they are under the impression us older women must be gagging for it!
Only the other day i had some guy of 26 just message me asking if i would have sex with him!Blimey!,we hadn,t even said hello first!

Not just the younguns I have to say the older ones are as bad
 lonleyrob
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 35
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:22:29 AM
Maybe its me but if you message someone and end up chatting on-line, then on the phone (if going well) why would you ruin it by pushing it too far or am I just old fashioned!!!

I remember it being called chivalry.
 fairytoothmother
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 36
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:27:21 AM
{Maybe its me but if you message someone and end up chatting on-line, then on the phone (if going well) why would you ruin it by pushing it too far or am I just old fashioned!!!

I remember it being called chivalry.}

I think those days are long gone,though i remember them well!
 lonleyrob
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 37
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:32:03 AM
Ha ha FTM

As with most things nowadays, it is the majority of "bad" cases that get highlighted, I am sure there are other gentlemen around who value not only themselves but the other person.

Suppose its horses for courses but I suppose if you come out with it (sorry - couldn't think of a better phrase ) it will let you decide early on it they are the right partner material.
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 38
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:50:32 AM
i think it can be fun at times to deliberately misinterpret something said.
although these were over the phone.
a friend said "oh bugger me!" because she had forgotten something, i said well ok! if thats your best offer.

the sister in law phoned one morning, i picked it up n just said hello, she said bit early for you innit? i said oh it's you! what do you want? she said well actually i'm after my sister! i replied well you could be in for a long wait as she's not had her turn yet!

with the right person it can be hilarious to veer off into a bit of banter on msn, but it's only a part of the conversation.
i couldn't imagine being serious with a stranger or anyone that there's no history with, but a bit of fun can give you a good laugh.

i thought chelly's was funny, and i know someone that done much the same when she got one of those phone calls, they hung up on her :-)
 Cinderfreakinella
Joined: 2/13/2011
Msg: 39
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:54:12 AM
It's the reason I dont use msn any more, the moment they get you there it's like jekyll and hyde all over again...have you got more pix, have you got a webcam, what you wearing, yada yada yada...

same with phone number...have you got more pix,so I send them a regular pic...they come back with 'nice but have you got something more saucy'... oh 'ere we go

And I dont find it's any age group in particular, it's across the board

Many, but not all, treat this place as a knocking shop, and that applies to both sexes which ruins it for people looking for a meaningful friendship hopefully leading to something special.

VVV It's a dating site, not a sex site, there are sites for those people seeking that, and good, I hope the likes of me ARE spoiling it for them.
 Lusipher
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 40
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 11:56:41 AM
One could also argue that, the people looking for something meaningful are ruining it, for the people who treat this place as a knocking shop



On a serious note, I tend to steer clear of the people who are very intent on something deep and meaningful, as I find it a bit odd to be that focused on it - plus, it's unlikely I'd ever want the same thing (with them)

I can appreciate that some people can be a bit off, when the whole topic of sex comes up ... it's just never been anything I've had any "hangups" about and so whilst I kind of understand why some people get the arse about it, from stories I've heard/things I've seen, I think loads of people seriously overreact when faced with that situation.


 shortbutsweet63
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 41
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 12:23:30 PM
Maybe its me but if you message someone and end up chatting on-line, then on the phone (if going well) why would you ruin it by pushing it too far or am I just old fashioned!!!

I remember it being called chivalry.

I remember that word very well but an element on here cant even spell it let alone know what it means
 zendy
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 42
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 1:01:49 PM
I once met a woman at POF valentine singles event in 2010 and we got on well. At the end of the night,I asked her for her number to which she refused. She told me that in the past,she had recieved saucy sex messeging from some men. She then gave me her Facebook name and I added her. Facebook has a way of showing off a persons profile a lot more than POF and I didnt like this woman's profile so I kept her as a friend and ceased contact with her. Last week,she contacted me out of the blue telling me she has a 4 month old kid.Our conversation drifted to sex and what a 'dry spell' she had been having since falling pregnant then she does it! She asked me for my number (the same number she wouldnt take because sex messeging) and sends me a picture of her self with no top on!! This picture is still on my phone.I've read lots of times on here how women say they are put off by men sending unsolicited pictures of their 'bits'. While I admit that her 'boobs' were lovely,the cheapness of this act was as off putting as jar of old marmite.
 chelly55
Joined: 12/1/2009
Msg: 43
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 1:13:29 PM
I just think it’s very disrespectful to start chatting to someone you haven’t even met about the subject of sex, you would not phone up a complete stranger and start asking them personal sexual questions, it’s just rude and men who think the women on this site are so desperate, that they will allow this kind of discussion are fooling themselves. Yes it does ruin it for the more respectable type of gent on this site and it’s a shame that women have to sift through the prevs, just to get some sort of decent conversation from the genuine men
 SonarBoy
Joined: 11/15/2010
Msg: 44
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 1:30:03 PM
It sounds like some of the guys on this site have read or watched too much porn in the past, before I ask a question or make a comment that might be cheeky I ask myself would I say it if we were face to face.
 Cinderfreakinella
Joined: 2/13/2011
Msg: 45
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 1:52:02 PM
And they all seem to want to know when was the last time I did the deed...now instead of telling 'em to go boil their head I just say about half an hour ago, coming over?

Why is that important to a stranger? Do they need to hear oh it's been years, I'm desperate for you...Pahahahahahaha
 fairytoothmother
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 46
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 2:00:30 PM
{It sounds like some of the guys on this site have read or watched too much porn in the past, before I ask a question or make a comment that might be cheeky I ask myself would I say it if we were face to face.}
Actually you make a very good point.I mean what sort of guy would walk upto a woman in a pub for instance and ask her if she fancied a shag?If a guy did that to me he would get a slap round the face!
 Lusipher
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 47
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 2:15:45 PM
So we're comparing behaviour on here to behaviour in the real world now?

Fair enough.

So someone asks you out for a drink in the real world .... how many of you would tell them, that you actually just want to email for a while and then maybe move on to texts or phone calls, and possibly meet up with them (once you've "got to know" them) after a few weeks? How many of you would be surprised if the person told you to do one, and went to speak to someone who didn't have a stick up their butt?

Maybe someone comes up to talk to you because they find you attractive ... but you demand that they read some notes you've made about yourself, before they talk to you. How dare they be drawn to you based on your looks :O

Do you have a forcefield around you, that repels the attention of people who don't meet your strict criteria? If you do .... wow - can I get on on ebay or amazon?

You get into a "friendly" argument in the pub and instead of just voicing your own opinions, you run off to the nearest internet cafe and print off page upon page off stuff you found on the internet, amazing everyone with your skill at using Google's search facility.

***

Let's face it ... even if you tried really hard nobody behaves exactly the same way online as they do offline.

***


It's a dating site, not a sex site, there are sites for those people seeking that, and good, I hope the likes of me ARE spoiling it for them


No sh1t?

Although to be fair ... it's a site for whatever people want to use it as.

If it's just for people dating ... then why have the option of talk/email or intimate encounters?

Why do they allow married people on?

Shouldn't more people actually be going on dates instead of just wasting other people's time (and their own) with weeks upon weeks of chit-chat?

What's the point of the forums? Especially as there are other (dedicated forum) sites with more active/bigger forums?

Hmmm .... I'd say that I don't think that this site is just about people wanting to date.

 BobHaro
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 48
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 2:35:31 PM
It's quite tiresome when so many women believe they have the 'holy grail' between their legs, let me assure you, you don't. You've been given that equipment for a purpose and it's not to save it until dead. Yes some blokes on here are muppets when it comes to a single track mind. But if some woman wanted to send me a sex text then I would take it in the way it was sent, possibly humorous.
I certainly wouldn't get desperately offended...I'm no angel and I don't see many virgins round here either.
Blokes like sex...I would have thought that most women would have caught onto that by now. You'd be very uneasy if a bloke showed no interest in sex with you at all...You can't have it both ways.

You can either have a date, a relationship and sex....or go and become a nun...it really is as simple as that.


Bob.
 chelly55
Joined: 12/1/2009
Msg: 49
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Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 2:42:45 PM
On come on Lusp, yes there is a difference between the real world and the online world, but some core of decent conversation should be shared both online and off Crude, dirty sex chat should be used on the sex chat lines and not seen as a freebie service from the ladies on a dating site . If I met a guy in a bar, club and we were attracted to each other I would not ask him crude sexual questions and if he steered the conversation around to that sort of chat – then I would soon be put off him and not impressed. I think you miss the point; an initial meeting with a LADY should be conducted with a mutual respect and as any lady will tell you that respect would be appreciated.

^^^^^^
Thats just it Bob - they don't want a date, realtionship, all they are interested in is the sex - they can't be bothered with anything else - insulting in my book

VVVVV Couldn't have put it better myself
 avalon_moon
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 50
Sex texts before you meet
Posted: 11/28/2011 2:43:52 PM

You can either have a date, a relationship and sex....or go and become a nun...it really is as simple as that.


No, it isn't. The sex emails/texts are sent, often, by men who have no interest in a relationship at all, but are quite simply after the sex alone.That's fine if both parties are on the same page. If, however, the woman is looking for more, then the sex texts are just going to be annoying. I don't get desperately offended, I'm no angel either, but I do get fed up with the constant barrage of sex talk.


Blokes like sex...I would have thought that most women would have caught onto that by now.


Yep, got that thanks, and so do women, btw.
I want the date, the relationship AND the sex, I never have been and don't want to be a nun, but when all I'm offered is the sex, then I will be refusing.

I think that's the case for many women.
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