| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/27/2004 6:24:41 PM | | normally, starting off with a lie is bad, yes. however, in this case, I think it's justified given that all the women are attaching their own and often inaccurate meanings to the term. even though separated != married they're acting like it is. guess you're not allowed to date for however many years the courts take to clear your paperwork... | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/27/2004 8:31:31 PM | | I think if you get involved with this guy you will just be a stepping stone...you help him pull it together..then poof he marries the next girl to come along.. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/28/2004 2:58:24 AM | Let's put it this way....YOU meet someone and SHE tells you she is "separated" from her husband...what would YOU think??
 Gentlespirit | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/28/2004 5:57:48 AM | | is this a trick question? I wouldn't think ill of a woman who was separated. Guess men just aren't as suspicious of everyone who wants to date them... | |
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GfW
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Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 30 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/28/2004 5:38:15 PM | | Bang on Skarsten ... most of us men are not as suspicious as most women are. I think we tend to take thigs at face value unless it is an obvious lie. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/28/2004 7:04:48 PM | | every situation is unique, you cant generlise anything, and im not quite sure why we all do it, maybe to find a commen denominator? I am seperated , and have been for two years, she has a new man , a new baby, and the only thing stopping my "title" from changing to divorced is $$$$$ for legal fees,I'm Paul Harvey and THAT'S the rest of the story!!! | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/28/2004 7:33:05 PM | ok well I feel like really bad right now...
I think that its a really difficult issue...I mean I can really see the problem for women dating a man whop is separated you always wonder...But why? why does that Piece of Paper that says DIVORCE mean so d*mn much???? Yeah I understand that if you get involved with him there is a risk, you take that risk no matter what...But really I think the issue is for women that a man who is only separated cant fully commit to them, I am talking marriage...They see this as a real stumbling block...But it really comes down to this. do you care for this man, can you be with him????
I think the best thing to do is getto know this man, and his circumstances...see where he is in life... | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/28/2004 7:39:39 PM | | exactly my point...thank you. Take the time if you really want to know about someone , then take the time to see if he is genuine, and honest. Maybe He was a victim of circumstance, or maybe he made some bad choices in life . We are all guilty of making bad decisions, and some of us deserve a second chance to be loved, and love in return... | |
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GfW
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Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 34 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/29/2004 6:28:23 PM | Finally some common sense to this thread ... but I see where you came from Kewtie when you mentioned the "marriage" thing. Not something I had thought of before. It makes sense but I don't think it is the first thing on women's minds as of the first date.
To each his/her own I guess. | |
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mysty
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Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 35 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/29/2004 6:35:49 PM | In my humble opinion and from some experience, a man who is seperated is not ready in any way,shape or form for a relationship. Therefore I would not date him. Also, if there is any potential for reconcilliation between him and his wife, I would not want to change the balance of that happening.
I did date two men who were seperated [two years ago] and neither of them were emotionally ready for it. Because I am a good listener and because I am gifted at helping people realize that they are wounded and where and why, they ended up dumping me and going off to heal. Which was a very good thing for them, but it sucked for me.
So, no. No seperated men for me thank you. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 12:33:09 AM | forgive me mysty, but once again it's not for anyone but the "separated man" to judge if he's emotionally ready. i just got the final div papers myself. so now i am officially divorced. but last month i was separated. am i any more "emotionally ready" today than i was a few weeks ago? of course not, a stupid paper doesn't make me "emotionally ready." your statement is entirely foolish. i have been emotionally ready to move on for more than a year, in fact.
sorry but it's not your place to say whether a man is emotionally ready just because he's separated and not officially divorced. i would wager there are men who've been divorced 5 years who aren't as emotionally ready as i am. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 12:45:28 AM | | I will have to back you up on that one, Writer. Have a close friend who was married for 14 years and a couple of weeks after he and his wife were separated, he entered into a relationship with a woman. 3 years later, they are still together - and I have never seen him so happy. He was very lonely with his wife, he had been ready for a real relationship for quite some time before papers were ever filed. Depends on the individual. | |
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mysty
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Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 38 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 7:55:54 AM | Well, like I said...it has been MY experience. I believe I am entitled to learn from my experiences and make future decisions accordingly. I don't appreciate you telling me that my feelings on the matter are foolish. It isn't like I am making some assumptions without any reason. I tried it twice. Both times the results were the same. That is enough evidence for me.
Also, just because you got your divorce papers does not make you anymore ready either. I have heard it said that it takes one year of singleness for every 5 that you were together to fully get over the damage a divorce or bad relationship can do to a person. I think that women as a whole recognize that they need time to heal before moving on whereas men tend to jump right back into the dating scene. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that men just are not in touch with their feelings, as a whole. You don't even know you are wounded.
In any case, like I said, you don't have to disrespect me because I have an opinion based on experience. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 8:33:54 AM | sorry, i am not disrespecting you or your experience... and you didn't issue an opinion, you made a DEFINITVE statement... you said, "a man who is seperated is not ready in any way,shape or form for a relationship." there's no gray area there, whether you attach the words "in my opinion" or not. and your statement is just dead wrong. all you are entitled to say is "the two separated men i met were not ready for a new relationship. therefore, based on that experience, i will not date another separated man." you have no right to tell the other people on this site that I, or GfW or Vivid are not ready for another relationship. and i am extremely resentful that you have done so. how dare you!
i am ready for another relationship, whether you think so or not. you don't know me from adam and talk about disrespect!!! to say unequivocally that i am not ready either WITH my divorce papers is the ultimate statement of disrespect. if you want to be treated with respect, you need to treat others that way.
to say you even have one inkling of what i am about is an incredible insult. | |
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mysty
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Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 40 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 8:47:01 AM |
What do women think of a man who is "Separated." In comparison to "Divorced" or "Single".
Read above. I answered the question as posed. It is what I think. And prefacing my comments with the phrase..In my humble opinion....makes it just that. If you can't accept my opinion, so be it. It is my opinion non the less and I am entitled to it AND I am entitled to answer the question as posed. | |
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mysty
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Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 41 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 8:52:54 AM | | Oh, and thinking I am trying to say anything about what YOU are about is incredibly narcissistic. It is about what I think, as asked. Plain and simple. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 9:13:51 AM | Ok, kids, both of you go into a corner on the opposite end of the room and take a time-out. Then after, you both can come back to the table and have cookies and milk with the rest of us. Hehe!  | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 10:30:22 AM | excuse me? TRYING to say anything about me? your exact words were "Also, just because you got your divorce papers does not make you anymore ready either." so if not me, then what other person, who has posted in this thread about just receiving his divorce papers, were you referring to?
my apologies, i didn't mean to be narcissistic. i thought you were talking about me, not some other recently divorced guy.
oh and by your logic, as long as i apply "in my opinion" to the end of any sentence, then it would be okay for me to say anything eh? so.... "all women are liars, IN MY OPINION" would be okay? let's see, "all muslims are terrorists, IN MY OPINION." that would be okay too then? how about... "all gays are deviants, IN MY OPINION". Oh yes and the ever popular, "all separated men are NOT ready for a relationship, IN MY OPINION." (oh, and just in case anyone's wondering, i don't hold to ANY of those 4 "opinions"..)
gosh, you're absolutely right... i stand corrected... as long as you add IN MY OPINION to your statement then anything is okay. sky's the limit! thanks for straightening me out!
sorry notacubic, can i still have my milk and cookies?  | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 11:08:11 AM | well, i thought i would respond to the topic. it is an interesting topic. i find myself in the position of being seperated. long story short after 17.5 years of marriage my former wife decided she did not love me. i decided that was not enough for me. to obtain an uncontested divorce one has to wait a year. there is no mental cruelty nor infidelity.
i respect those that would not date people that are seperated but the individual circumstances may be unique and different. while seperated people may work it out with their former spouse much could be happening in the background to work on ensuring a proper and amicable divorce. others that get divorced soemtimes return to their former spouses too and everybody that gets divorced had to be seperated at some point.
anyways each story is different,
john | |
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mysty
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Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 48 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 11:35:17 AM | Let me amend that statement to reflect the intent:
Just because ONE had recieved ONE'S divorce papers does not mean that ONE is anymore ready.
Every time you read the word 'you' in a sentance, do you honestly believe it is referring to YOU personally?
Like I said, narcissistic. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 11:46:10 AM | /o~You better watch out, you better not cry....Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake...he knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! OHHHHHH..../o~
Everyone....sing-a-long!  | |
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mysty
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Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 50 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 12/1/2004 11:49:38 AM | Humming a happy tune......don't worry. I am done with the topic. I think I have made my point. Hummmmmming........................................... | |
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