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| | That psyco Ex! have you every had one?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Let's see, where do I start....
First husband, married young, didn't realize that his drinking problem was a symptom of delusional paranoid schizophrenia that was untreated - compounded by a dead mother with unhealthy relationship to him, a father who forbade him fro getting help because "real men don't see doctors" and things continued to get worse until they were flat out dangerous. left, FiL was supposed to put him in hospital, was supposedly temporary, found that I was pregnant with third, after many miscarriages, didn't think she would hang around, but she's 17, now. FiL put him in jail, instead, and gave my ex my address everytime I moved. ex kept showing up with murder on his mind, believing that it was to protect us all from this evil world, several attempted kidnappings of the boys and the baby.
My girlfriend had gone through a divorce with her absent husband at the same time, her ex and my ex found conviviality and her ex took on my ex's identity and started stalking me. See me on a street corner, with a cop, and here is this guy telling the cop every detail about my life and our children and my ex as if he was him in such a convincing manner that I look like the crazy one when I say HE IS NOT MY HUSBAND AND HE CANNOT HAVE SUPERVISED VISITS WITH MY CHILDREN. changed names and residences several times, changed whole states. My ex husband still finds me now and then, nothing crazy for the last ten years, though it is possible that he was contacted by my exbf's exgf to tell him that I moved back to the town I am in, now.
Next dated a man who had a head injury problem a real hero to us all, lots of family joy, his sons remain close to me 15 years later. But another mental illness that just slowly got worse. His sons and my sons and then my daughter, quit speaking to him about three years ago. Everyone just prays for him, but his beligerance is unbearable to be around. The biggest problem that I had with him, have with him, after years of no contact, is that he continues to tell the women that he dates how perfect I am. It's a small town, the women who fall for him, get used by his womanizing, decide it's my fault. The men he talks to, he tells them sexual details, and then next things I know, who ever sat on a bar stool beside him is trying to see if i will do for him what I did for the ex (or he said I did). It's not stalking exactly, but it keeps revisiting my life.
Next dated a man who I thought about marrying, things were good, he was a bit over optimistic but we were productive together. He treated me very well, we laughed a lot, and were very happy. Then optimistic became crushing depression out of nowhere. He refused help. I gave him an ultimatum. get help in six months or we were done. Told him after six months, find something somewhere else, so he did, found a job back east, I was buying the house from him on rent to own from the day he had bought it. He came back for the holidays and in such a bad way he had to go to mental hospital - my first bi-polar guy, yay me. He cooperated with treatment, by this time, which really ruined his life. mis medication and mis diagnosis. Crazy B movie moment. No stalking, ever. He's back east with his daughter, I check on the house which is now a hoarder's dream and too overwhelming a project for me to work on, much, though I have done some. It isn't a revisitation except that most people know the incident when my house looked like a scene from a hostage crisis while he tried a stand off with something like 80 law enforcement officers from various agencies complete with helos and horses. Might as well not hide the past, people have a lot to say about the incident.
Next, dated a federal agent. His ex girlfriends got together and formed an I hate him club and tried to get other women to join, including me. That was six or seven years ago. The women angrily stalked me for awhile because I refused to join (he's not a bad guy, just a bit of a child) as did all other women he knew. But me, a few times a year, my life gets revisited by the actions of one in particular. Cops at my door asking me if I knew anything about a threatening letter to him, it appeared to them to come from some man of mine (I haven't been with anyone for some time) as it was telling him to stop seeing me, or else. I produced evidence that it was just this same woman, again, as was the threatening phone call that I got last summer. It's all a big stupid. My problem with him is that he can never lay down the law with her, he always thinks that it is over each time. Cop said he was told not to talk to me anymore, and I said that was fine, though it won't stop her, I am sure. She likes to involve other people, as she did with the phone call, and aparently may have passed my new town info to my ex husband. I do know that my exbf was advised to take her stalking seriously.
I have done a lot of observing and study of human behavior over this time. I tend to run as soon as I see red flags of mental illness, which pretty much rules out a lot of people. My own past, I would think, would scare off most men, and a sane man would think twice before getting involved with me. It has occurred to me that, as soon as a person falls into the drama trap in their youth, the only people who find them attractive are people who will just help the person dig a deep hole of a trap. Alone looks pretty good, in that respect. | |
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 12/12/2011 3:16:21 AM |
Hmmm....soon to be 49 years of age....how soon can I expect to do my first
drive by?
Denial is NOT a river in Egypt...
;) | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 12/12/2011 12:12:13 PM | | two things; are your folks rich? sounds like she may have not have been wanting a child, just the child support. also you may have been a bit harsh with the words "no way in hell." maybe try something a bit more subtle like "I'm not ready yet, maybe someday". | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 12/12/2011 1:01:26 PM | | Op.. I get the feeling you have a warped sence of pride telling your little story. Is a part of you bragging over this or what? Do you think you are hot cause this lady has lost control over you? Cause it's not hot. | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 12/12/2011 2:43:52 PM | PSYCHOPATHIC SEDUCERS
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"The most important self-defense against psychopathic seducers consists of recognizing the initial warning signals so that you can escape the relationship early on, hopefully before you’re seriously harmed. Dr. Joseph Carver has put together a helpful and instructive list outlining the early symptoms of a dangerous relationship with a psychopath, or as he puts it quite aptly, with “a Loser.” As we’ve already seen in the previous account of Drew Peterson’s behavior, not all the signs of psychopathic seduction are obviously negative. But, as we’ll see, even the symptoms that seem positive (such as the instant attachment and over-the-top attention, flattery and gifts) are in fact negative. Similarly, Carver notes that the Loser doesn’t have to exhibit all of the symptoms listed below to be dangerous. The presence of even three of these symptoms indicates a potentially harmful relationship. Anything above this number points to not just probable, but certain harm. What do these warning signs indicate? They show that psychopathic seducers can fake decency and love convincingly in the beginning of a relationship. That’s how they manage to attract so many potential partners. But they can’t sustain their mask of sanity over time in intimate contact, since it’s fake and instrumental. If you remain vigilant, you’ll be able to see red flags early on in the relationship with a psychopath despite his veneer of charm and extravagant romantic words and gestures."
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Unfortunately, when I was with my "psycho"; although I knew something wasn't quite "right", I never knew, the Whole Story until we actually lived together for 6 months... I must add, that losers[both, men & women] never show, their hand, early on in a new relationship nor do all these characteristics manifest at the same time. Sometimes, it's so subtle & you can't quite consciously see it. I'm enclosing this list so that, maybe someone can be spared what I went through:}
Cheers!
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1.The Loser will Hurt you on Purpose.
2. Quick Attachment and Expression. “The Loser,” Carver notes, “has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to the Loser is how quickly he or she says ‘I Love You’ or wants to marry or commit to you.
3. Frightening Temper. Sooner or later the Loser reveals his hot temper.
4. Killing Your Self-Confidence. Losers generally prefer flings and short-term affairs, which provide constant new thrills. They also engage in long-term relationships, however, to gain more lasting control over certain more promising targets
5.Cutting Off Your Support. In the wild, predators isolate their prey from the rest of the herd to better attack and devour it. That’s precisely what psychopaths do to their targets.
6.The Mean and Sweet Cycle. As we recall, Drew Peterson bought his wife a motorcycle and expensive jewelry even during the period of time when he was criticizing her, throwing her up against the wall, isolating her from her loved ones, accusing her of infidelity and calling her pejorative names.
7.It’s Always Your Fault. As we’ve seen, psychopaths never accept blame for anything they do wrong.
8.Breakup Panic. Psychopaths need to maintain control of everything in their lives, especially their romantic relationships. When they get bored with one partner or find a replacement, they can leave her on the spur of the moment, heartlessly, often without even bothering to offer an explanation.
9.No Outside Interests. To further control their victims, psychopaths don’t just isolate them from other people.
10. Paranoid Control. Notoriously, psychopaths stalk their principal targets. They suspect other people, including their partners, of being as manipulative, deceptive and unscrupulous as themselves.
11. Public Embarrassment. Psychopaths tend to put down their partners not only in private, but also publicly, to embarrass and isolate them. They want to build a psychological, if not physical, prison around their primary targets.
12. It’s Never Enough. Psychopaths don’t want to have successful relationships. They want to assert dominance by destroying, at the very least psychologically and emotionally, their partners.
13.Entitlement. As we’ve seen, psychopaths feel entitled to do and have everything and everyone they want. Laws, ethics and other people’s feelings don’t matter to them.
14. Your Friends and Family Dislike Him. Psychopaths tend to be pleasant and charming, at least superficially, at the beginning of a relationship. But once they have their partner firmly in their clutches, they proceed to isolate her from her support system.
15. Bad Stories. They say that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. There may be exceptions to this general principle.
16. The Waitress Test. Just as how people behaved in the past tells a lot about how they’ll behave in the future, so how they treat others functions as a pretty good indicator of how you’ll eventually be treated. A person who’s uncaring and unethical towards others will most likely also be that way to you when you no longer serve his interests.
17. The Reputation. Psychopaths tend to have polarized reputations. Their victims often describe them, in retrospect, as Janus figures (since they’re two-faced) or as Jekyll and Hyde personalities (since they switch from nice to mean)
18. Walking on Eggshells. During the course of their marriages to Drew Peterson, at least two of his wives reported losing their self-confidence as a result of his emotional and physical abuse.
19.Discounted Feelings/Opinions. For psychopaths, their fundamental callousness and capacity for evil stems from their absolute selfishness and inability to respect other individuals, as fellow human beings with independent needs and desires.
20.They Make You Crazy. According to her friends, Kathy Savio felt overcome by rage, jealousy and anger when Drew cheated on her with Stacy. While her emotional response was perfectly understandable under the circumstances, Drew depicted Kathy to others as “insane” to justify his mistreatment of her.
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 12/14/2011 11:21:33 AM | | I was married to a psycho that drove me nuts once, but luckily we both found the perfect therapy before we ended up in one of those cute little white jackets sitting in one of those padded rooms. Yes, it was called divorce. Now I am happy to report we have both experienced a new-found sanity and get along quite well with one another. We actually look back and laugh at the crazy way we were. Sometimes people just don't belong together and being together makes them both a little psycho at times, but it doesn't mean either of them are bad people. Sometimes they are just the wrong people for eachother. Oh, but don't get me wrong, I like my men a little on the crazy side, but this doesn't mean I want to date Jeffrey Domer either. Down Cannibals! | |
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 12/15/2011 9:34:22 PM | Imacipher.
My foster daughter is constantly suffering emotional blackmail from her family, ALL of them, She tries it out on others now and then, we get through it. She is in love with this boy who fits your profile perfectly, PERFECTLY. She broke up with him yesterday. I am going to read it to her and try to get her into counseling as it looks like I have may have finally secured custody of her. Crossingmy fingers. This boy and her family chew her up and spit her out. | |
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 12/16/2011 11:22:50 PM | My heart goes out to your daughter, it can happen to anyone...In these instances, the old cliche holds true when meeting-up with these characters [losers], "If it seems too good to be true; than, it usually is."
Here's the result of The Conclusion of A Relationship or, The Devaluation Phase, with a Psychopath or Narcissist :
"The process of the psychopathic bond is programmatic. It’s astonishingly elegant and simple given the complexity of human behavior. Idealize, devalue and discard. Each step makes sense once you grasp the psychological profile of a psychopath, of an (in)human being who lives for the pleasure of controlling and harming others. 1) Idealize: not you, but whatever he wanted from you and only for however long he wanted it. 2) Devalue: once he has you in his clutches, the boredom sets in and he loses interest. 3) Discard: after he’s gotten everything he wanted from you and has probably secured other targets.
He’s had enough. He’s gotten everything he wanted out of you. Bent you out of shape. Taken away, demand by demand, concession by concession, your dignity and happiness. As it turns out, the reward you get for all your devotion and efforts is being nearly destroyed by him. Ignoring your own needs and fulfilling only his–or fulfilling yours to gain his approval–has transformed you into a mere shadow of the lively, confident human being you once were.
He uses your weaknesses against you. He also turns your qualities into faults. If you are faithful, he sees your fidelity as a weakness, a sign you weren’t desirable enough to cheat. Nobody else really wanted you. If you are virtuous, he exploits your honesty while he lies and cheats on you. If you are passionate, he uses your sensuality to seduce you, to entrap you through your own desires, emotions, hopes and dreams. If you are reserved and modest, he describes you as asocial and cold-blooded. If you are confident and outgoing, he views you as flirtatious and untrustworthy. If you are hard working, unless he depends on your money, he depicts you as a workhorse exploited by your boss. If you are artistic and cultured, he undermines your merit. He makes you feel like everything you create is worthless and cannot possibly interest others. You’re lucky that it ever interested him. After the idealization phase is over, there’s no way to please a psychopath. Heads you lose, tails he wins. But remember that his criticisms are even less true than his initial exaggerated flattery. When all is said and done, the only truth that remains is that the whole relationship was a fraud."
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To Your Daughter, tell her this,
For her, this process is excruciatingly personal. It may have cost her, her time, her heart, her friends, her family, her self-esteem or her finances. She may have put everything she had and given everything she could to that relationship. It may have become her entire life's focus. For the psychopath, however, the whole process isn’t really personal. He could have done the same thing to just about anyone who allowed him into her intimate life. He will do it again and again to everyone he seduces. It’s not about her. It’s not about the other woman or women who were set against her to compete for him, to validate his ego, to give him pleasure, to meet his fickle needs. He wasn’t with them because they’re superior to her. He was with them for the same reason that he was with her. To use them, perhaps for different purposes than he used her, but with the same devastating effect. He will invariably treat others in a similar way to how he treated her. Idealize, devalue and discard. Rinse and repeat. This process was, is and will always be only about the psychopath for as long as she stays with him.
This is why, your daughter must sever all bonds from this individual or the[her] pain will keep escalating ...*shakes head*
The silver lining to this dark cloud?
Maybe this will provide a good opportunity for her to learn more about who she is & what a Great, Beautiful & Wise Person She is; as She'll never be fooled again into dealing with a Loser...
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THERE IS A LIGHT…SomeWhere.
"Beautiful light is born of darkness,
so the faith that springs from conflict
is often the strongest and the best."
~R. Turnbull
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Blessings & Beauty to both you & Your Daughter:}
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 12/17/2011 5:01:39 AM | | Nope never had one yet thank goodness :-). Incompatible Ex's? yes but not crazy. Loving the single life right now. :-) | |
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 3/29/2012 8:27:43 AM | I had one.
She should pray to all the Gods she knows and give thanks to still be breathing....
But yeah, she was profound. Even my sister didn't believe me, felt sorry for her when we broke up and went to help her. After 1 day, she realised how bad a manipulator she was.
Some people in life should be put down. Should be a law somewhere... | |
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 3/29/2012 11:49:26 AM | Nope, no crazy ex boyfriends for me. yay. 
but i may get one or two in the future who knows lol.
I'll just change my number and delete my facebook, move on.
got the cops on speed dial anyway. so bring it.  | |
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 3/29/2012 2:55:24 PM | OP msg 1 loads of people say he's lying
msg 27 only a couple of people publicly doubt this much longer story
Spot the difference? | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 6/23/2012 11:53:23 AM | | When I hear a man say that his ex was Psycho, I instantly look elsewhere...I believe the man did something to make her that way... | |
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| it's PSYCHO-use spell check please
Posted: 6/23/2012 12:01:45 PM | | I had one my last ex I was with on and off for 3 years. Physically and mentally abused me but hes a proud us marine right ha. :( He left burn marks and scars all over my body. 28 stitches to my forehead and used a crop to beat my ass several times a week. Not fun. I hate pain. I was an idiot thinking he could change and fooled by how hot he was. My fault I stayed and went back but still. I have scars and burns now for life from him putting ciggarettes out on me and pushing me down the stairs | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 6/23/2012 12:04:07 PM | wish i had that list from imacipher years ago!!!!!!!!
Had more than my fair share of them any type of them. Yes thats why i am happy single now, it puts a whole lot of a different appeal on it ;-) Be happy when you have great friends that support you!
But OP be happy it wasnt worse and no its nothing to brag about. | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 6/23/2012 12:14:13 PM | ROFL omg....that is insane!! seriously wat drives women to be so dumb and do all this nonsense is beyond me!
Thank god none of my ex's were that extreme...well sorta...one of my ex, he was emotionally blackmailing me cuz he had a kid and he was separated from his wife at that time and I had no idea that he was even married and i found out later..of course I tried to break it off but he would guilt me into staying with him and he would say shiet like, his mom doesn't give him food for the baby and blah blah blah and he always used his kid as an excuse and i have a soft spot for kids...Little did I know that the money i was giving him was going into his crack habit! And one day his mom and bro were in a car nearby and spotted me and told me to stop giving him money and shiet but never told me wat the reason behind was. I wanted to get rid of this dead beat and no one was helping me so i had to put up with him for 3 years on and off and eventually the day came where i got rid of him finally with the help of his wife! Needless to say he's back with his wife whom he beats up and has put her in the hospital many times, and he came close to beating me but by Gods' grace he didn't get far with me! My ex when we were together, he would show up in the middle of the nite. park his car behind the building i lived in(i lived on the first floor) and he would honk his horn for me to wake up and give him money so he can buy drugs! And i would give it to him just so he would leave. He knew my home number and would call in the middle of the nite and one time my dad picked up the phone and he told my dad to give the phone to me...since that day i put call forwarding feature on my home phone, after 10pm, i would forward my home number to my cellphone and turn my cellphone off! But then he would show up at my house or the next day at work and cause problems! jeeez y are ppl such idiots i have no idea! I have finally sworn off from dating BROWN MEN! lol...they are seriously mental cases! white chocolate here i come! LOL | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 6/23/2012 3:18:14 PM | | I dated/lived with a man whose crazy x wife murdered him. When I think of some of the things she did the hair stands up on my arms & I sleep with the lights on. On a scale of one to ten, bunny boiler is a mere 2 as compared to what this woman did. I will NEVER date a man who claims his x is crazy. She's still out there charming her way into her next victims bed. | |
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| That psyco Ex! have you every had one?
Posted: 6/23/2012 3:37:07 PM | | I hope you've also told your mutual friends to not accept messages meant to be passed on to you. That'a strictly high-school. | |
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