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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.      Home login  
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 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 76
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Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
And even without my upbringing, to be truthful i'd just prefer not to hug and kiss someone elses partner based on the insanely high level of divorce and adultry in the usa. I think marriages need all the support and respect they can get around here. I'm doing my part, how about you? How are you honoring your friends relationships?


You’re right, some people prefer not to hug and kiss and not everyone should but some people are very comfortable, sure, and secure about the intentions of their feelings. Divorce and adultery are not automatically linked to hugging and kissing close friends. My friend is my friend. I don’t have sexual feelings towards friends and male family members. At the same time, I also don’t hug and kiss everyone or base my motivation on whether someone is married or not.

Why should Capn honor his friends relationship? That’s not his job, especially if he is looking at his friend as a sister. To lump perfectly healthy human interactions with adultery and assume they are breaking up relationships is not a very respectful thing to say.


oh and maybe hes only on here to read the forums

OP states what he is looking for in his profile.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 77
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/14/2011 10:02:28 PM
another chance ?


has she had sex with another/other men since yall have been married ?




what's her race/culture.. ?
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 78
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/14/2011 11:18:10 PM
To lump perfectly healthy human interactions with adultery and assume they are breaking up relationships is not a very respectful thing to say.


And aren't you disrespecting my opinion? Especially when your ASSumption is completely off base. Do you have an origional viewpoint of your own to share and add to the discussion? Some posters actually think and enjoy expansive intelligent conversation and obviously others don't get that and simply choose to criticize in response. Learn to challenge someone with ideas and never misquote someone in an attempt to discredit..... bad form.
 bbwluvstocuddle
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 79
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Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 12:48:09 AM
Here is a thought: Stop playing stupid immature childish games by "testing" her because that is BS. I hate guys like that it is guys like you that make the good guys look bad. Hmmm you are Not single/Not looking but then yet you are looking for a long term relationship????????? Makes no sense to me. Maybe you need to grow up and delete your profile on here. Just on here for the forums, really???? Doubt it because I am sure if a hot girl were to message you being all flirty and stuff you would not even think twice to message her back. "I do have a 7 year old, he is my little sidekick. I'm not looking for a mom for him... he has one. Just looking to meet new people and see where it goes I'm not in a rush for anything but if it happens good." Gotta love how you don't mention that you are together with your son's mom and also love how you say you aren't in a rush for anything but if it happens good.... LMAO dude you are a joke grow up
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 80
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 1:29:00 AM
Is it OK for a husband to have shirtless pictures on a dating site even claiming he isn't looking?

You are giving HER a chance..Ok I'll play..

If she is from the South a peck on the cheek or hug if he IS a true long time friend is not usual..

Most Southern women I know are women's women and don't have huge male friendship circle and it's just maybe a pat on the back greeting if you touch at all.
If he is a lot older he may get the peck on the cheek. Not likely from me inless he just saved my life in some way .

We do however speak to almost everyone and some people think that is odd.

Now if I saw my HUSBAND on a dating site half nekid I would terminate.
You claim to be here for forums..but don't remember ya.........

Maybe you hang out where I don't frequent much Hmmmmmmmmm?

If they are gay..Air kisses and hugs are fine.
If married oh heyul no.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 81
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Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 1:37:02 AM
As another pointed out, it's a cultural thing, but you should understand this, or should have understood this, before you married her. There's a good chance you were first attracted to her for this very type of greeting and you may thinks others on the receiving end feel similar. I wouldn't worry about it unless she grabs the guys crotch in the process.

Be careful bringing this up because it may show a lack of confidence on your part. It's also strange that you are trying to get back with her, yet here on a singles dating site. Good luck with that.

Maybe she is testing YOU out?
 Literate_Gem
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 82
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 5:58:48 AM
Being an affectionate kind of girl, I think its okay for a girlfriend or wife to hug and kiss any men she wishes, subtly but I also expect the boyfriend or husband to tell her when he isn't okay with it. Clearly if I was that female, if I noticed him not being Okay, I would try not to hug those people as much or come to a negotitation. If I don't know, there isn't much I could do to help with it.
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 84
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 7:05:49 AM

wife means forsaking all others.
If he was being that way with female friends she would be pissed and you know it. Makes me think of a goose and a gander.

Op: do the same thing with your female friends and see how quick she is pissed off and how fast she changes.


I guess I was just more secure in my relationships Been. My ex hubby hugged and kissed (without groping or tongue) his female friends and it didn't bother me one bit. Our breakup had nothing to do with any kind of infidelity for the record.

Forsaking all others can obviously be taken a bit too far if you think that means that men and women shouldn't be allowed to show any affection whatsoever towards the opposite sex once they get married. There's a difference between sexual contact and non-sexual contact.

No offense hun but if you can't see the difference then you may want to hold off on getting into another relationship before you become more secure and self confident.
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 85
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 7:18:37 AM

If a friendly hug or kiss done as a gesture in greeting is causing adulty or divorce in your marriage, I don't believe you should be married. And in fact, if done in a genuine manner, is a sign of 'respect'.

Again, if this is a big problem in your marriage, I would expect it to crumble....


I agree. It's a BIG sign of lack of self-confidence and trust in others if a person goes mental over a bf/gf or spouse giving a friend or family member of the opposite sex a hug and kiss. It's sad that some people have to sexualize every gesture of friendship and affection. People who aren't able to see the difference should definitely take a good, close look at themselves before getting into a relationship. Just because one person cheated on you doesn't mean every other person who comes into your life will do the same.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 86
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Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 10:45:28 AM

And aren't you disrespecting my opinion? Especially when your ASSumption is completely off base. Do you have an origional viewpoint of your own to share and add to the discussion? Some posters actually think and enjoy expansive intelligent conversation and obviously others don't get that and simply choose to criticize in response. Learn to challenge someone with ideas and never misquote someone in an attempt to discredit..... bad form.

Dear Lotus,
My original viewpoint is in the original post to the OP and no I’m not disrespecting your opinion, which is why I said “You’re right, some people prefer not to hug and kiss”. Never anywhere have I said you’re breaking up marriages or being disrespectful for choosing not to hug/kiss. Why can't I have the same respect from you? I have not made any assumptions and I’m not responsible for how you choose to express your point of view on here. If you feel there is a misunderstanding maybe you can explain.

I am happy to hear that you enjoy intelligent conversation and challenge people with ideas. But it doesn’t come across that way if you’re super defensive and call people names which makes conversation not very enjoyable.
 Randal5
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 87
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 10:57:29 AM
Marcos, I'm guessing if you have read all of the previous posts you are thinking several things. Why are responders assuming all kinds of things not stated by you. Why am I getting attacked for asking for help. Do people actually read. Will I have to supply a gigabyte of information to adequately explain the situation. It's the nature of the thing. Hang in there buddy.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 88
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 11:16:25 AM
Why can't I have the same respect from you?


Happysinglespirit, not sure what you want from me as you continue to follow my posts with criticism and no creative thought to respond to. In the south that type of behavior would usually be attributed to jealousy or bullying. I'm flattered you find me a threat of some sort.

OK, how's this: Why do you think southerners consider it disrespectful to hug a friends spouse?
 desert_trekker
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 89
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 11:41:40 AM
Really, you said you two had a bad marriage and have been seperated for a year and in that time she made a lot of male friends. Now she wants to try again but start out as friends.? What's going to make it better this time? It sounds like it was and is over before you two or her decided to 'try again'. I'm thinking there must be kids involved and you or her are thinking how much u want your family to be together for them?. I would move on and build a new life of your own. I wouldn't waste one minute of negative energy on testing and all the other stuff that may be going on too. I think it's better to save your heart the agony and despair and rebuild your life from the inside out. It can take time but is well worth it in the long run. Maybe I'm misreading the situation and hopefully so. But I've been there and it only got better when I 100% moved on with my life. Life is really good now. I laugh at how I used to feel and you can do the same in your life.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 90
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Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 12:46:46 PM

Happysinglespirit, not sure what you want from me as you continue to follow my posts with criticism and no creative thought to respond to. In the south that type of behavior would usually be attributed to jealousy or bullying. I'm flattered you find me a threat of some sort.

OK, how's this: Why do you think southerners consider it disrespectful to hug a friends spouse?

Wow, you're taking this way too personal, Lotus. Threat? Following you around? This is a public forum and your response to my point of view among the others was very strong and it sounded like I offended you in some way.

I don't know why southerners consider it disrespectful to hug a friends spouse. If I lived in the south and it wasn't customary I would take that into consideration. I don't live in the south and that's the beauty of sharing different viewpoints and experiences on a forum like this.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 91
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 3:52:03 PM

OK, how's this: Why do you think southerners consider it disrespectful to hug a friends spouse?


Probably cos they know the others just want to screw 'em
 partial2U
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 92
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 4:23:54 PM
Hugs are ok.

Kisses... no

Kisses are only for you and family members.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 93
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 5:15:39 PM
My gut is telling me that the reason you are testing her, and feel the need to be upset by her hugging and/or kissing her friends in front of you is because she cheated on you before...


No kidding eh?In the past I have been ok with a woman greeting friends like this.The problem is some guys will truly enjoy their hugs and kisses and make it obvious they really like her.I will only respond like this if the woman initiates and it's not kissy feely.Guys that look for hugs and kisses are interlopers and I bet OP is seeing plenty of them right now.Get your dog collar on OP.
 _Hazel_Eyes_
Joined: 12/10/2011
Msg: 94
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 6:56:42 PM
Emotional infidelity? Would she be cool with you kissing on your female friends? My guess is no.. Take her out somewhere nice and gently let her know its bothering you.
 beenambedie
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 95
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Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 8:44:04 PM
No offense hun but if you can't see the difference then you may want to hold off on getting into another relationship before you become more secure and self confident.

Now this has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever read (no offense hun). You're assuming that I want a relationship.
I am not looking for a relationship (here for the forums) and it has nothing to do with my security or self confidence. It has everything to do with knowing that there is no woman good enough for me. I am very secure and self confident of that so maybe security and self confidence are involved.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 96
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/15/2011 9:52:40 PM

OK, how's this: Why do you think southerners consider it disrespectful to hug a friends spouse

This surprises me...the southern folk that I've met over the years are the exact opposite of this. A big squeeze and kiss on the cheek was given at every meet up.
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 97
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/16/2011 6:00:44 AM

It has everything to do with knowing that there is no woman good enough for me. I am very secure and self confident of that so maybe security and self confidence are involved.


No woman good enough for you? Seriously? Wow, ok. Well, good luck with that. I guess low self confidence really isn't an issue with you. Take care.
 Kiki928
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 98
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:11:36 AM
how did she greet/say goodbye to male friends when you first started dating? if she was always like this then you knew it, why a problem now.

I'm a very touchy, feely person and my family...so it's normal for me to hug ppl goodbye. I have male friends/coworkers who are married/gf's and we have all hugged and kissed goodbye so I have no issue with it. I also hug/kiss the men and women..we all do.. I prefer the guy I'm dating to be as open as I am...normally works.

funny how uptight ppl are and how they read into every thing.
 Julietsdestiny
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 99
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:23:51 AM
Testing her out? Oh give me a break! What are you going to do next.....set her up with a mate and see if she takes the bait?
It's plain and simple...You don't trust your wife/ex wife/estranged wife. Without trust the relationship will not work.
I have a friend who always gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek in front of his Mrs and it doesn't seem to bother either of them.
She's a social person you keep saying so allow her to be social. She is who she is and I personally think that there is not enough hugs and pecks on the cheek in this world, I wish everyone was like her.
 Hegotsoul323
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 100
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 12/16/2011 3:28:10 PM
Im not sure anyone else can decide what works best for your relationship.
Respect should encourage either of you to refrain within reason, from actions that might cause discomfort, depending on how well you know and understand each other.
Dont be ashamed if you feel uneasy, especially when you dont know these other guys any better than you know me. No matter how well she knows and trusts them, upon first meeting, they are merely strange men getting affection from the woman you love. This situation is as much about your feelings as it about hers. And both sides need to be empathetic to the other.
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