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| | Can someone explain this to me? Page 2 of 2 (1, 2) | Years ago I met a friend's sister, who was a model with the Eileen Ford agency in NYC. She was absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous, intelligent AND had common sense and she was also one of the kindest and sweetest people I've ever met. She was so naturally pretty that it was intimidating, but as soon as you talked to her for a little while, you realized that she was a regular person and you'd forget how intimidating her beauty was.
She wanted to get married and have a family but she never found the right man...either guys would try to use her as a trophy, or assumed that she was too far out of their league. She did have a couple of years' relationship with a great guy who ultimately rejected her because he did not want a family and she did.
Whenever I feel envious of someone's looks, I think of her and of others (celebrities or people I've known) who are great people with beauty inside and out, and how their love lives are no better than mine; indeed, I think I've been very lucky in mine and especially compared to most of theirs.
OP, I agree that you may have been friend-zoned in the past, but things change...if you're interested in her, ask her out! Even if you end up going out as friends, that's not a bad thing. | |
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| Can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:43:29 PM | I actually knew a girl like this in high school. Believe me, she could be far lonelier than you think, especially if you're only judging her by her appearance. You've already said that you feel as if she's "out of your league," and the reason why she's so lonely (or at least, she appears to be) is most likely due to other guys feeling the exact same way.
The girl that I knew was naturally very attractive, yet there were only about 3 or 4 boys who were willing to actually talk to her., even though she was quite friendly. It was definitely strange to see some of the lesser-attractive females run through guy after guy while this particular girl remained single. | |
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| Can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 1/2/2012 1:51:53 PM | OP
"You'd think that the most attractive female would be the most sought after, but like I said, she's had only like one boyfriend since high school and that didn't last very long. "
it is not necessarily true that the prettiest woman is the most sought after. just because a woman is very pretty does not mean that she is going to be lucky in love. all the gorgeous women i have known deal with a lot of heart break and sadness - just like anyone else . when you get down to it, being pretty only means that there is quantity of interest, but not necessarily the quality. every gorgeous woman i have ever known has had to deal with a lot of uninvited sexual advances in and out of the work place, and in high school, i remember one girl (she was sooooo pretty, and very sweet) had boys slapping her on the butt when she would walk down the hall. this happened all the time. the girls were horribly jealous of her, and the boys would basically harass her - all the time. she never had a boyfriend during high school, and she never had anyone ask her to homecoming or prom. i know she remained a virgin until she was in her early 20s.
if you are interested in this introverted, reserved gorgeous woman, then just approach her like a person. she's probably had so many men make unwanted advances towards her that she has shut down to a certain extend in an effort to counter that. she probably puts out a major "leave me alone" vibe. so, approach her like a person and just say hi, etc.. | |
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| Can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 1/2/2012 9:28:08 PM | Yes Op, it does happen and it's not a myth. If a person of either gender is considered "gorgeous, stunning or striking," in addition to having depth, brains and personality, some can be highly intimidated by this and accordingly not approach the person they'd otherwise like to.
In a sense, you're contributing to generating the very thing you think might be a myth by the fact that you have the mindset of she's "wayy out of my league."
larissanO4 Msg: 28 has it right...
If you want to approach this woman, then just approach her like a PERSON.
Good luck to you  | |
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| Can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 1/2/2012 9:40:10 PM |
Nah, I've known her for years so I know I'm already in the "friend zone." Not to mention the fact that this girl is wayy out of my league. I'm just surprised that she doesn't have more offers. I'd expect a female like her to be highly sought after. Some of the other guys that know/knew her thought the same.
How exactly do you know she never dates? Do you have that much contact with her on a regular basis? I'm just curious how you know so much about her life. | |
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| Can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:26:47 PM |
i remember one girl (she was sooooo pretty, and very sweet) had boys slapping her on the butt when she would walk down the hall. this happened all the time. the girls were horribly jealous of her, and the boys would basically harass her - all the time. she never had a boyfriend during high school, and she never had anyone ask her to homecoming or prom.
people were mean to you
but i always thought you were cool
clicking down the concrete hallways
in your spiked heels
back in high school
you deserved better than you got
someone's got to say it sometime because it's true
people should have told you you were awesome
instead of taking advantage of you...
we held on to hope of better days coming
and when we did we were right
i hope the people who did you wrong
have trouble sleeping at night
(excerpt from You were Cool, by John Darnielle) | |
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| Can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 1/3/2012 5:00:13 AM | Not to mention the fact that this girl is wayy out of my league.
It makes me so sad every time I see this!
NO ONE is out of your league. Unless they're married haha. But sometimes even then...
Every girlfriend I've ever had was considered "out of my league" according to a few people. Who are they to judge? If two people like each other than isn't that all it takes?
Be confident and just plain awesome all the time and there is a chance ANY girl might like you. Don't write people off because you just never know what your potential is.
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| Can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 1/3/2012 6:36:02 AM |
she never had a boyfriend during high school, and she never had anyone ask her to homecoming or prom
I knew a girl like that too in HS, she was a very good friend to her more ordinary looking pals, yet they seemed to take it out on her...once, in the girl's bathroom, I overheard 2 of her brunette friends say they were going out w/o her cuz they were tired of her getting all the attention cuz she was a blonde. Another time, her friend's brother told me they were all hanging out @ his house & the other girls were ragging on her. He said he got pissed & went in the kitchen where they were all sitting & told them off, to stop picking on her cuz she didn't dress like a slob. Recently, when I looked @ one of those reunion sites, I saw her & some of her then friends there. She had a very nice blurb written & was smiling in her pic...her former friends, not so much. I hope the girl that the OP describes can find her way to the company of people who look at her inner beauty as well as her outer looks | |
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