| | Why don't women approach guys much?Page 5 of 15 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15) | Welllll... I guess the saying goes "When at first you don't suceed, try and try again!" LOL! I can't think of the last time I asked a guy out! LOL! This really has changed my perspective a bit! 
How do I do this "pursuing" without the guy thinking I'm either (1) desperate or (2) a psycho stalker?! | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/12/2012 12:25:55 PM |
How do I do this "pursuing" without the guy thinking I'm either (1) desperate or (2) a psycho stalker?!
If he doesn't respond after two or so messages, he ain't interested, and nothing you can do will make him interested.
Toss him back if he isn't interested. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/12/2012 12:26:01 PM |
How do I do this "pursuing" without the guy thinking I'm either (1) desperate or (2) a psycho stalker?!
Well, you don't want to go overboard. If we are talking about on-line dating. Send another message after a few days if you don't hear from him. Maybe say something like "I miss talking to you." If you still don't get anything back, then I'd say move on. Don't send a new message everyday. I mean just think about how you would feel if a guy seemed too desperate to you...and then don't do that yourself. At the same time, don't take advice from women who say to play hard to get. Because guess what? The type of guy who likes that is usually only interested in scoring and once he has you he moves on to the next chase. If you want a man who wants something long term, then he wont want to play games. He will expect a straight forward -"I like you, do you like me?" Type of approach.
The main thing is don't play the chase game that forces him to do all the work. There should be mutual interest back and forth. If you are doing ALL the pursuing then that's not good either. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/12/2012 1:18:16 PM | Very well said Stevefromupland! I've been out of the dating game for a VERY long time, and I am more than a bit rusty! LOL! And it's not because I'm old and boring either! 
I only sent an initial message, plus one of those silly "gifts." This was last night. Then today, as I was reading the thread about whether women should ask out men out for the first date, or if men should, I saw that he was on "chat" and I sent him a message saying I had found this thread on this forum, thought it was interesting, and what were his thoughts on the subject? I was trying to be "tongue in cheek" and funny.
Gawd, I don't know what to do here! LOL! I was married for 18 years to a serial cheater, it turns out. Learning to trust my instincts is something I have to retrain myself for, you know?!
I am enjoying this site, though. It's opened my eyes to the idea that life does go on, and it is a good life! I know that I am attractive, and have a lot to offer. There is a line from the movie "Legally Blonde" (total chick flick!), that I love. Reese Witherspoon's character tells her friend "..Trust me, you have all of the equipment. You just have to read the manual!" Thanks for listening, and for the good advice! | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/12/2012 2:19:42 PM |
The main thing is don't play the chase game that forces him to do all the work.
Wait a minute . . . you mean we guys aren't *supposed* to do all the work? Since when is the girl supposed to put much effort into the process? | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 11:11:31 AM | Posted By: socalcitycat2012 on 3/12/2012 11 05 AM
Subject: Why don't women approach guys much?
Message: Welllll... I guess the saying goes "When at first you don't suceed, try and try again!" LOL! I can't think of the last time I asked a guy out! LOL! This really has changed my perspective a bit!
How do I do this "pursuing" without the guy thinking I'm either (1) desperate or (2) a psycho stalker?!
================================
I'd let you pursue me anytime! =)
LOL | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 12:09:46 PM | Hey match
Buddy, I really admire your proficiency on the US Constitution, but unless your above remark is meant as sarcasm, you have a LOT to learn bout women........
There are times when the worst thing you can do is to "do all the work". You have to let a lady hold up her end of the situation; notice I didn't say "relationship", as there is no relationship yet. The biggest problem that is common among men is that they are very insecure about the next girl. What I mean by that is that when in the early stages of dating a girl, men have a tendency to do and act like if they don't somehow get anywhere with this girl, they will NEVER find another as pretty, or as smart......... When in truth, the next one is right around the corner.
For women, and I am speaking for them now, a secure, independent, self-assured man is very sexy............................ Here's a clue for the guys........ you can be quacking in your boots, and be scared to death, but as long as you don't show it, you will do fine.
Paul K | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:09:44 PM | [I'd let you pursue me anytime! =) LOL ]
Ha ha! You have an unfair advantage; you have a motorcycle! I don't run that fast! :-P | |
|
slpboo
| | Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 109 | |
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:14:46 PM | | um...cuz men are generally hunter/gatherer types. if you're chasing a man, it's a surefire way that he'd lose interest. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:44:54 PM | um...cuz men are generally hunter/gatherer types. if you're chasing a man, it's a surefire way that he'd lose interest.
See Socalcitycat, it's only the women that will tell you not to do this because they prefer the status quo of not having to do any work. All the guys here are liking the idea of a woman coming on to them.
I can tell you that my best and longest relationships were with women who were more aggressive and pursued me just as much as I pursued them. The ones I lost interest in are the ones who acted aloof and didn't show much interest back. Why waste my time on them when I can find a woman who is really into me. | |
|
slpboo
| | Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 111 | |
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:57:30 PM |
All the guys here are liking the idea of a woman coming on to them.
Haha, I don't date here (anymore) so that's irrelevant. That's you ^^^ but there are plenty of men who enjoy the "thrill of the chase". There are ways that women can show interest in a man without "coming on" to them. "Coming on" to someone is desperate, pathetic and too available/easy. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 4:12:36 PM | All the guys here are liking the idea of a woman coming on to them.
I gotta disagree there.
I can think of three women off the top of my head that I'd rather not have coming onto me.
No, straight guys like the idea of women they like coming onto them, not ALL women.
Kind of like how straight women who like "nice" guys aren't going to automatically date ANY "nice" guy who offers. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:13:58 PM | Posted By: slpboo on 3/13/2012 3 46 PM
Subject: Why don't women approach guys much?
Message: um...cuz men are generally hunter/gatherer types. if you're chasing a man, it's a surefire way that he'd lose interest.
=============
I disagree.
I've been "chased" before. I think it's kinda cool for a woman to show she's smitten with you. Also, I'd like to say that maybe it's just me, but I love to get roses too. (It has happened and I'm pretty sure men would get the same feeling as the ladies when they get roses...)
Or am I alone here? | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:16:50 PM | [I'd let you pursue me anytime! =) LOL ]
Ha ha! You have an unfair advantage; you have a motorcycle! I don't run that fast! :-P
===================
C'mon, let's go get your M1 and I'll keep it under 2nd gear.  | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:34:55 PM | ^^^Thanks for the support Amador 
Slpboo, I'm not currently looking either. I'm just trying to help her out. I have no doubt there are men who like to play chase games. You play games, and you may attract a player.
Psytle, I've already mentioned in one of my pervious posts that the guy has to be interested. Of course we don't want every woman pursuing us. Just the ones we find attractive. It's the same for women too. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:22:52 PM |
You have to let a lady hold up her end of the situation;
Paul, point taken--I agree with you. We have to get the ball rolling, push things a little, and do most of the planning and spending at first. But there have to be some signs of interest in return, or you're a chump to keep trying. There IS always another one, and maybe a better one. | |
|
jmark4
| | Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 117 | |
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:26:39 PM | | you are meeting the wrong women. Women of today have never been more aggressive, promiscuous or more like a man than they are now. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:36:25 PM | Jmark , I will mostly agree with you,, the title of this thread asks why women don't approach men much. I don't know, I get approached a lot. Not that anything happens most of the time, but there IS a lot of approaching going on.
As far as being promiscuous goes, a few us here are old enough to remember that little thing called AIDS. Prior to AIDS, it was," Hi, let's smoke this joint and ball for a while, OK?" Then it became,"Hi, have you been checked out lately? Did you bring condoms?" and now it's like "I haven't been with any man for years now, and you're gonna really have to convince me why I should change now."
For many women , sex became too scary, for physical as well as emotional reasons, and this little scenario I mention is very much in play among the women I meet in my age grouping.
R | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:37:23 PM | | My experience mirrors mom2liv. I have contacted many men but have received very few reponses. I mostly hear from men 10+ yrs my junior or 10+ yrs my senior. I'll keep trying though. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:45:02 AM | [you are meeting the wrong women. Women of today have never been more aggressive, promiscuous or more like a man than they are now.]
Ouch! Ummm, don't you think that maybe you're painting with too broad a brush?! You don't know me. Just because I message a guy that I find interesting/sexy/funny does not = jumping in bed with him!
Also, I think you need to really evaluate those words. Aggresive tendencies are admired in the workplace (well, depending on the work); there is no room for wallflowers. Women who aspire to these positions "get" that. So, why should it be different for them than it is for you/other men?
Just my .02 cents. Word of free advice though---women, like men, are NOT all the same, so please don't categorize us as such! Thanks! | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:50:50 AM | [There are ways that women can show interest in a man without "coming on" to them. "Coming on" to someone is desperate, pathetic and too available/easy. ]
Yes, I agree. It's called having class! A woman can message a guy on here, comment on things she saw in his profile that she liked/agreed with, comment on what a gorgous smile he had, wish him a nice day, and hope to hear back from him, and, in my not-so-humble opinion, does not come across as desperate, pathetic and too available/easy.
Having said that, I would think that, male or female, if someone were to message you here (not talking about the "sex" personals), and say "Hey! Let's screw each other's brains out! How does tomorrow at 6 sound to you?" that would be a major clue to get the Hell out of Dodge! LOL! | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/14/2012 10:28:31 AM |
and now it's like "I haven't been with any man for years now, and you're gonna really have to convince me why I should change now."
If those first three or four orgasms don't convince her, nothing will.
I would think that, male or female, if someone were to message you here (not talking about the "sex" personals), and say "Hey! Let's screw each other's brains out! How does tomorrow at 6 sound to you?" that would be a major clue to get the Hell out of Dodge!
Yes--that's a little lacking in romance, somehow. Might as well be getting together for a business meeting. Subtlety and flirting and anticipation makes things much more exciting. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/14/2012 10:40:20 PM | Simple...because they don't need to (online). Guys go to them.
Do they get the right kind of guys contacting?
That's a whole different matter there.
With that said, I will say that it's refreshing and exciting to be on the receiving end of someone trying to contact you. | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/15/2012 1:49:47 PM | Okay ... think about this. Young women are on here for a reason. Most of them have had poor luck finding "Mr. Right". So they come here thinking fate will help them along. Yes! Women are dreamers... they love that romance of chance meetings, surprise endings, living happily ever after. Think I am joking? How many times has a random occurance happen and it was FATE! It was the mystical powers that be that brought folks together. So if that is the case, being the one to contact a guy nix's any of that from happening.
As we get older we realise that if we want things to happen we have to help things along. Manifest our dreams, not just dream them. I would wager that gals in my age group have no issue contacting a man... its a little different in real life, but just a little.
Just another take on the whole thing for what ever its worth :) | |
|
| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 3/17/2012 1:54:55 PM | I don't know about the women on this site, but I think it might be an "age-thing". Older women are much more confident (doesn't make us better - just more confident!). If the guy isn't interested, it doesn't ruin our day, we move on. I think most secure women don't equate their self worth and value on how many men respond or reject them, hence they aren't afraid to cast the line. Let's be serious, all people have here is a photo and some well articulated words in a profile (if you're lucky!). Not the real "meat" of a person.
I drop notes all the time to men. Some respond, some don't. It's the way of the world. . . ; )
Just my 2 cents. . .
Octavia | |
|
Home
login 
