| | Definition of a single parent?..Page 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | Damn,
Seems I may have been incorrect as least when referring to the kids being with the other parent
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_parent
A single parent usually refers to a parent who has most of the day to day responsibilities in the raising of the child or children, which would categorize them as the dominant caregiver. The dominant caregiver is the parent in which the children have residency with majority of the time;[1] if the parents are separated or divorced children live with their custodial parent and have visitation with their noncustodial parent.[2] In western society in general, following separation, a child will end up with the primary caregiver, usually the mother, and a secondary caregiver, usually the father.[3] | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:14:04 PM | I too will admit that whenever I heard the term single parent used, I'd think of that person being the one providing for the kid(s); take them to school, pick them up, do their laundry, cook for them, help them with their homework, the whole 9 yds. By the same token, everyone who spelled out the definition of single parent... well, they are correct.
I'm a full-time, single father of three; (8, 6, and 4). Their mom sees them on average...3x per month. She only lives 15-20min away. I handle everything with little to no help at all. Nevertheless, their mom is still a "single parent"....by definition. | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:30:24 AM |
My definition of a single parent is someone who has the children the majority of the time and is the person who has to run the kids to school, sports, music lessons, buy their clothes, cook for them most nights, take them to the dentist, doctors etc.... In my opinion, having the children over every 2nd weekend to play does not make one a single parent. I would even go so far as to say that a person who has 50/50 time with kids is stretching it a bit to call themself a single parent. In my view, this is co parenting, not single parenting.(see my definiton of a single parent above). For sure, they should mention that they have kids they share care for, but don't label themself a single parent..unless they literally mean they are single..and a parent, which probably applies to 50 % or more of the people here, regardless of the age of their children and if they have moved out of home.
Lizzie....the heart of the Op...she seemingly only suggests a single parent is one who has the children the majority of the time....and with 50/50 suggests they are stretching using that category?
So then why not ask...what would you call then in 50/50 OP....part time parents? still implies single parents? And I know many ncp who still show up or do the driving on weekends for the sports? So they are what...as they do not have them the required majority but the are still engaged and involved with their children? | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 1/14/2012 1:51:44 PM | | Oh one last thing, a single parent to me is any parent who is single, how much time you spend with your kids is not always your choice and does not change who you are | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 1/15/2012 11:01:47 AM |
Damn,
Seems I may have been incorrect as least when referring to the kids being with the other parent
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_parent
A single parent usually refers to a parent who has most of the day to day responsibilities in the raising of the child or children, which would categorize them as the dominant caregiver. The dominant caregiver is the parent in which the children have residency with majority of the time;[1] if the parents are separated or divorced children live with their custodial parent and have visitation with their noncustodial parent.[2] In western society in general, following separation, a child will end up with the primary caregiver, usually the mother, and a secondary caregiver, usually the father.[3]
lol dad2stay, looks like you have done research on the topic.
phew, glad to see that I am not some twisted, petty **** who has concocted my own view out of nowhere. 
My "take" on the single parent title/label most likely stems from childhood when hearing the label "single mother" being applied to young, unmarried girls raising a baby without the father's presence. As I got older, my interpretation of single parent evolved into that of anyone "single handedly" raising a child ie..regardless of whether they had never been married/in a LTR, or were divorced/separated. As it stands at the moment, my personal definition is in the OT. I'm not the single parent police and expecting everyone to have the same interpretation, was merely raising the topic of differing interpretations of a statement on a profile causing one to feel mislead.
When I see single dad mentioned on a dating profile, I take it as code for " warning... my children live with me/ or take up most of my time...." but it can , legitimately it seems, mean anything up to.." I am single and have children but I never see them/ hardly see them even though they only live a few minutes away from me and even when they are in hospital for a life threatening emergency, I tell the doctor it's not my problem and to call the mother"(true examples... = time wasted and bullet dodging skills required).
The initial intention of this thread was to seek out views on the use of the single parent label being used specifically on dating sites , when trying to find "potentials" and came about after yet another moment of puzzlement after feeling mislead. In hindsight, the title of the thread and the content of the OT do come across as rather harsher than was my intention, but due to tiredness, brevity, writer's block, frustration and heat of the moment , this is what ended up being typed. My intention was not to deliberately make anyone feel marginalized, minimalized or validated or make personal attacks, but I guess I'm still fairly naive when it comes to this forum business( am learning very quickly, however!!!).
Thanks for the input , I'm always open to self improvement and enlightenment
And happy parenting to all the single parents out there | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/1/2012 5:33:42 PM | While technically single parent does cover any single person who has a kid. But if you have a live in bf/gf who helps you and you aren't yet married do you get the term single parent? There are too many interpretations to the phrase and people assume without really knowing your situation.
And just my opinion, but birthing a child doesn't make you a parent. You shouldn't get to classify yourself as a parent if what in reality you are doing is babysitting on occassion. But thats a whole diff story.
There should be more terms or easier ways to define your parental role. My ex has the kids about once a month for a day, no overnights, even though he's legally entitled to more. So my parental role is different than the next guy who's parental time is split equally 50/50 or even diff than the one who gets every second weekend overnights. It does have an affect on how I'll structure my dating life and how any long term dates will relate to my kids. So it would be helpful if there was an easier way to define this with a word or phrase rather than getting into the entire story. Since single mom has too many interperetations does anyone have other words/phrases that would better fit a certain situation? | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:39:30 PM | | My personal belief of the definition of single parent is the same of the OP. However i don't take offense or even give a second thought to anyone who feels they are a single parent, infact I'm more inclined to think "Well at least they're involved in the parenting role and make it a priority" | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:55:19 AM | I think along the lines of the OP
Single parent= parent with sole custody of the child.. the other parent is not around, unknown or dead
Separated / co parent.. = parent with partial custody split shifts etc
When I see a bloke with "I am a single dad" on the profile, I think oh the mom has passed away or in a mental home, jail or run away.. Then I find out they have their kids ever second weekend...and wish they had worded it differently.
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:29:17 PM | | For purposes of this site I consider a single parent as a parent who is not currently married (never married, divorced, or widowed) and who retains custody, or at least regular visitation, of one or more minor children. | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/10/2012 9:36:31 AM | | wow,I think you're making broad generalizations here.Because in my situation I would barely call what my ex does parenting.Of course she is not single anymore either,but is with a total deadbeat,which is why even though we have joint custody,I do most of the heavy lifting when it comes to parenting.Its also why i had to try for full custody in the first place.She just keeps pushing out more babies making it harder on my boys(which is irrelevant to the topic I suppose).But it does show that her idea of parenting is just biological and not really emotional.Parenting involves some hands on,and just having the same DNA doesn't neccessarily qualify.Parenting is work,and if you are putting some in,then I think that qualifies one as a single parent regardless of percentages of custody and so forth.And most kids know inside which side their bread is buttered on,their not stupid. | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/10/2012 2:32:36 PM | | thats my thought too. single parent... u have to be a part of your childrens life to be considered tho. no deadbeats | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/11/2012 2:27:03 AM | | surly the definition single perent means you are a perent and you are single ???? your letting future parners know you have children!! | |
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Eri713
| | Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 66 | |
| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/11/2012 5:18:35 AM | I've raised my son alone since he was a baby. He's 16 now. No contact, whatsoever, from my ex in all these years. I am a full-time single parent, and I don't consider my ex a parent at all.
What about the guy/girl that IS married and doing the majority of the parenting. What do you wanna call them?????
I don't call them a single parent.
I homeschool my son, and I've had some moms tell me that they feel like a single parent when their husbands go on business trips. I know that they are not intending to be insensitive, and maybe I am too sensitive when they say this to me, but it really bothers me because they have no clue what it really means to be a single parent; when there isn't anyone else to share in the parenting at all, or that they may be on their own for a week here and there because their husband is on a business trip, but he's still the one earning the money so she doesn't have to worry about working, so she can devote her time to homeschooling their kids. That everything doesn't fall on their shoulders alone.
Sorry if that sounded like a bit of a tantrum, but I just don't appreciate it when the moms (or anyone in the same circumstances) put themselves on par with being a single parent just because their spouse is away on a business trip.
Tantrum over. Going to have some chocolate. Feel better already :) | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/11/2012 10:29:00 PM | A single parent: someone who HAS a child or children and is not married or in a committed relationship.
The problem is, you are connecting them, they are seperate words... single is their marital status, parent is their position status. My ex rarely sees our kids, but he is still their father, which makes him a parent. As far as I know, he is not seeing anyone which makes him single... thus: single parent. | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/11/2012 10:37:10 PM | | I agree with eri.. I don't think a single parent is someone who has shared custody or is married but their spouse is away. They may be a parent, and they may be single, but that doesn't make them a single parent. Not with the way it is used in day to day conversations anyway. I would perhaps make an exception for military spouses who's spouse is on and extended leave, even then it's not complete because the money keeps coming, and they just have to worry about normal day to day stuff. It's closer. If two parents are there active in the child's life, then neither parent is a "single parent". They however are parents who are single. | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/11/2012 10:38:43 PM | Walt:
What about the guy/girl that IS married and doing the majority of the parenting. What do you wanna call them?????
LOL Actually, through my entire marriage my husband told me, "The paycheck and bills are MY job, the kids and house are YOUR job." I used to tell people, "I'm a single mom who happens to have a husband"... They are all four his children, but he never participated in any of their upbringing until the last year of the marriage | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/12/2012 8:19:35 PM | A person who has their kid every other weekend is not a single parent. A person who shares 50/50 custody is not a single parent. In any situation where there are two parents involved, regardless of the way the time is divided, it is co-parenting.
I also don't think your relationship status has anything to do with your single parent status. I am a single parent, in that I raise and support my son 100% on my own. I also date. I have had one serious relationship since having my son, and was engaged to that man. I have been a single parent the entire tme though. Until I delegate some parental responsibilities to a second person, I am a single parent. And, I have no intention of delegating that to anyone other than my husband, who has taken vows to support my child as his own. A boyfriend cannot tell me or my son what to do. My son, my business. Period. I don't think being in a relationship changes your status as a single parent, unless you want it to.
On the same note, I know a lot of women who had kids young and pawn their kids off on babysitters every other night, so they can go out and get drunk and party until they can't stand anymore. If they aren't with their kid because they're too busy sleeping off last night's hangover, they aren't a single parent either. They are a birth mother, not a parent. | |
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Siks6
| | Joined: 7/11/2012
Msg: 71 | |
| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/12/2012 8:38:24 PM |
A boyfriend cannot tell me or my son what to do. My son, my business.
I take it that is why you are on this website? Good luck finding someone with an attitude like that. Weather you like it or not, if you ever get in a serious relationship (which I doubt with your attitude) that person is going to be part of "some" of the parenting regardless. But good luck. You will need it for sure. | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/12/2012 8:55:06 PM | | My ex (not the daddy) volunteered to take my son twice while he was visiting my mothers. He took him for the whole day both days and they had a great time, even though the 1st day my son wasn't feeling well and he mostly laid around watching tv. I didn't ask him too, he offered. He's a great man. Not all men will do this, and I think it's great that some will. That's a man worthy of my time and attention. He doesn't view my son as baggage or a burden or someone else s problem. In his eyes, my son is a human being who is deserving of a chance. Not some kid of a girlfriend who gets in the way of our Friday's. He is just part of me. Now if only he would move here.. dammit.. | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/12/2012 10:23:49 PM |
I take it that is why you are on this website? Good luck finding someone with an attitude like that. Weather you like it or not, if you ever get in a serious relationship (which I doubt with your attitude) that person is going to be part of "some" of the parenting regardless. But good luck. You will need it for sure
While it's super sweet and charming that you want to rush in and rescue all the single mothers of the world - especially those on this site, you're not needed by anyone over the age of 18 who has made a concious decision to be a single parent. Perhaps when you are old enough to have your own child (or use the correct spelling of words in the context in which you intend them to be used) you will understand that capable parents don't let some random dudes dictate how they raise their kid. Only an idiot would do that...someone in the same boat as you, as your luck would have it.
Thanks for the well wishes. Back at you :) | |
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Siks6
| | Joined: 7/11/2012
Msg: 74 | |
| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:45:57 PM | While it's super sweet and charming that you want to rush in and rescue all the single mothers of the world - especially those on this site, you're not needed by anyone over the age of 18 who has made a concious decision to be a single parent. Perhaps when you are old enough to have your own child (or use the correct spelling of words in the context in which you intend them to be used) you will understand that capable parents don't let some random dudes dictate how they raise their kid. Only an idiot would do that...someone in the same boat as you, as your luck would have it.
Thanks for the well wishes. Back at you :)
A) I don't date as it is, so no idea what you are referring to on the first part. There is no "rescuing" to be done, nor do I want to be needed. Especially for a person with a kid that's not even my own flesh and blood.
B) I have a child of my own thanks. I mean, before you make assumptions, at least have be smart enough to find out the details before you start throwing hits. Only an idiot would do that.....
C) I didn't say you should let "random dudes dictate how to raise your kid". Perhaps you should read over what I wrote and what you wrote... I am saying is, that when you are in a serious, committed relationship (which I hope you don't think of him as some "random dude") they will be part of some parenting roles...
Thanks for the well wishes Grammar Nazi. I shall cherish them ;) | |
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| Definition of a single parent?..
Posted: 8/13/2012 5:52:54 AM | wow, another thread parsing the semantics of 'single' and 'parent' - who'da thunk?
My 2c, "Single, working, former stay-at-home now co-parent but occasionally full time parent because the other parent is going through chemo" is a bit much to explain.
Per usual, the POF categories don't give much ground to expound upon the depth of meaning that phrase may or may not hold for each individual. And I'm fine with that - I don't expect anyone to chew my food for me, either. | |
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