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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Not "giving sex away" without the relationship      Home login  
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 Ralphy69
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 876
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Not giving sex away without the relationshipPage 36 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
....NEXT...ticket holder number 2 please! I believe buddy starting the thread is correct in saying this chick sees sex as a "chore", or better yet a tool to get what she is seeking. There are waaaay too many other woman out their with a healthy sex drive. Don't waste time on a dead ****, if that's what your after. I hate how some woman pretend they don't like sex, when the truth is they like it just as much (if not more) than men do. They just tend to conceal it and play born-again-virgins... ****teasers....nothing more....NEXT!
 pokerdaily
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 877
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 10:55:03 AM
When your together its not screwing. Some of these comments are really ignorant. No wonder your out here.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 878
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 11:47:35 AM
[QUOTE]....NEXT...ticket holder number 2 please! I believe buddy starting the thread is correct in saying this chick sees sex as a "chore", or better yet a tool to get what she is seeking. There are waaaay too many other woman out their with a healthy sex drive. Don't waste time on a dead ****, if that's what your after. I hate how some woman pretend they don't like sex, when the truth is they like it just as much (if not more) than men do. They just tend to conceal it and play born-again-virgins... ****teasers....nothing more....NEXT!

Did you even read the comments posted by the women? Many of us flat out stated that we like sex just as much as men. We just don't want to have it with someone we just met.

Just because people choose not engage in casual sex doesn't mean that they view sex as a "chore". It just means that they would rather limit their sexual partners to those they are in a relationship with.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 879
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 12:06:50 PM

prettyandcurvy:
I enjoy a good joke, Behind-Blue-Eyes_53, but missed that one because I don't know what GPS is.


Golden P*ssy Syndrome.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 880
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 12:30:37 PM

Golden P*ssy Syndrome.


Hmmmm---and here I always thought GPS meant Golden P**is Syndrome.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 881
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 12:35:54 PM
I personally thought GPS stood for "Global Positioning System".
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 882
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 12:37:43 PM
]quote]Hmmmm---and here I always thought GPS meant Golden P**is Syndrome.



^^^^^^^^Yeah me too, with all these guys that think because their****is hard they are entitled to sex immediately, regardless of what the circumstances are and if it doesnt happen, the woman who wont have sex with them is a prude, has issues, sees sex as a chore, or is a lesbian or whatever shaming or ridiculous insult they can muster at the time and later to their buddies in an effort to justify their GPS....And they say women have "entitlement issues"
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 883
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 12:38:11 PM

women have all the power until they give up the goods and then they have none.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
REALLY? She is doing it ALL WRONG then




peppermint petunias , back when I was seeking a relationship, I read an article on how to jazz up your username to attract men's attention and changed mine to that end. And since both men and women, strangers, family and friends have described me using these and similar terms - I thought it was a good one.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I always thought I had nice curves, but ONLINE curvy is usually taken to be over weight by most people esp with no picture.
I don't agree as one can be a size 2 and curvy or a 14 and curvy..

Its having a desirable hip to waist ratio or some bust to speak of to me.


I was going to jazz my name up but MOTOWN was taken
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 884
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 4:32:29 PM
"GPS"-any guy saying this is advertising failure and sour grapes and ensuring it continues.
Anyhow, men are the ones overvaluing the "GP", saying things like "if it weren't for THAT,
men would have nothing to do with women", which I found to be news.
Really?
I know too many men hate women, aside from the sex, but the focus on GP is vaguely surprising.
But then, there is all this porn which is very clinical and interior pics ( which most women find not particularly attractive) vs pics of nice hair, faces, hourglass curves...
I guess those pics are as close as some will get to knowing what the GP looks like.
Most women aren't obsessed with pride over their GP, at all, and certainly nothing like men and their phallocentrism that makes them send out unpleasant diick emails to strangers.
How often do women send out GP emails?
Pretty rare.
This GP Syndrome seems another handy projection of men, another faulty assumption that we share the same consciousness on anything related to this topic.
Maybe if those who enjoy this phrase stop presuming rejection means GPS or some such, you'll have no ammo to malign some woman who spurns you.
No prudery, no religiosity, being stuck up, GPS. She just didn't fancy you cuz if she did, you'd be the first to know.
I've been accused of being "bashful, conservative, a prude, shy, not friendly, a lesbian..." and the reality was I thought the guy dumb, a jerk, juvenile, unattractive, creepy, etc.
But they always need a "reason" why your're a horrible person for rejecting them .
 zookie57
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 885
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:24:53 PM

It could mean she's bored with losers who consider "courting her" nothing more than the chore required (no more than 3 times) in order to get laid.
It could mean.....


Yes, it could mean a lot of things for her & him........................


Or it could mean she does not know a honest guy out there as of yet after her past choices of men..........jmo

And if u pick them just because.............. then u will always repeat your past mis happens of true character of men........yet there are those who are just into it for their ego.......whatever....
happiness is for those who finally have their own & their s/ other.........jmo
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 886
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:00:46 PM
Many of us flat out stated that we like sex just as much as men. We just don't want to have it with someone we just met.

That's a contradiction. Pick one. The fact that you don't want to have sex with someone you just met (even if sexually attracted to him), means it's not really the sex, per se, that you are after. What you're after is a relationship. The sex is only incidental and a nice perk.

Just because people choose not engage in casual sex doesn't mean that they view sex as a "chore".

No, but it means that such women make sex a chore for a guy, since he's getting sex in exchange for giving up his freedom, having to become responsible and having to play all those roles he has to play to be in a relationship.

It just means that they would rather limit their sexual partners to those they are in a relationship with.

And I think most guys don't want to change their lives just to get laid and that's what getting into a relationship means.

It just means that they would rather limit their sexual partners to those they are in a relationship with.

I guess it depends on whether a person considers having caual sex to be giving up less than giving up ones freedom. I'm pickier about a person I become responsible for than a person I have sex with. However, in this era, that's no longer really an issue. There are lots of women who have grown up with less need to be in a relationship to have sex and who place a greater value on independence, than women my age.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 887
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:38:31 PM

Many of us flat out stated that we like sex just as much as men. We just don't want to have it with someone we just met.


That's a contradiction. Pick one. The fact that you don't want to have sex with someone you just met (even if sexually attracted to him), means it's not really the sex, per se, that you are after. What you're after is a relationship. The sex is only incidental and a nice perk.


That isn't necessarily true. Being sexually attracted to a man is not a good enough reason for a woman to sleep with him right away. There are often safety issues for her to consider.
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 888
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:48:14 PM

giving up his freedom
Interesting that so many men have an issue with the words "giving it away" when the woman refers to sex but have no issue with using 'giving it up" when referring to his freedom.. And discussing how many men use the term "giving it up"when referring to sex is a whole 'nother thread.. Why is it perceived to have such different meanings and levels of insult depending on the gender of who says it??
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 889
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:50:53 PM
Interesting that so many men have an issue with the words "giving it away" when the woman refers to sex but have no issue with using 'giving it up" when referring to his freedom..

You have to be kidding. Are you really losing something by having sex? If so, does your partner know you think of sex that way? On the other hand, I can certainly list several things I gave up for relationships. What have you ever given up by having sex with someone? If there was nothing I had to give up for a relationship, I'd have gotten married long before now - maybe several times. If you don't see the difference between that and having casual sex, you don't place much value on your freedom and independence, or you don't care much for sex, or both.

I'm also not making any claims that I'm not making a tradeoff for a relationship and that what I expect to get in return (which doesn't include sex, since that's available outside of a relationship) is worth what I'm giving up. So sure, if you want to think sex as you giving something up, go ahead. My guess is that your partner won't be thrilled to know you see it that way.
 errant71
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 890
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:24:45 PM

Interesting that so many men have an issue with the words "giving it away" when the woman refers to sex but have no issue with using 'giving it up" when referring to his freedom.. And discussing how many men use the term "giving it up"when referring to sex is a whole 'nother thread.. Why is it perceived to have such different meanings and levels of insult depending on the gender of who says it??


I don't refer to sex as "giving it up" or "giving it away". I refer to sex as sharing it. If I'm sexually attracted and he is too, we'll likely be "sharing it" without either of us having to "give up" much of anything including our independence and freedom. Don't know about calling it "casual sex" ... sex isn't very casual to me 'cause I enjoy it too much.


Being sexually attracted to a man is not a good enough reason for a woman to sleep with him right away. There are often safety issues for her to consider.


Don't know about that since it certainly doesn't fit me ... speaking for women, even in general, is a bit of a generalization.


You have to be kidding. Are you really losing something by having sex? If so, does your partner know you think of sex that way? On the other hand, I can certainly list several things I gave up for relationships. What have you ever given up by having sex with someone? If there was nothing I had to give up for a relationship, I'd have gotten married long before now - maybe several times. If you don't see the difference between that and having casual sex, you don't place much value on your freedom and independence, or you don't care much for sex, or both.


May be posted by a guy ... but as a woman, I'd have to agree. I haven't gotten married again because I've felt I'd be giving too much up. When I feel I won't be giving too much up ... I'll consider marriage again.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 891
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 5:00:36 AM
Many of us flat out stated that we like sex just as much as men. We just don't want to have it with someone we just met.

That's a contradiction.

It's not a contradiction at all because being more selective isn’t a contradiction, it’s just being more selective, but I'll stipulate that you see it as "a contradiction". I guess this does prove that men generally think about sex quite differently than women generally do. As if we didn't already know....

Women like to travel just as much as men, but we just don't want to fly to Hawaii with someone we just met. I like donuts just as much as cops do, but I'm not going to eat three of them every time I pass a Krispy Kreme. In other words, how much you LIKE the way doing something feels is completely different from your reasons for actually DOING IT. However when it comes to sex in particular, some men don't seem to make much of a distinction and then immediately start faulting women for not seeing things the same way, because that gets in the way of what the man thinks the woman should be giving him. Interesting.


women have all the power until they give up the goods and then they have none.

What a bizarre thing to say. Who knew that having sex with a man is really a power struggle that the woman completely and automatically loses every time she indulges in what was otherwise a consensual act.


REALLY? She is doing it ALL WRONG then

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ LOL
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 892
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 6:07:03 AM
That's a contradiction. Pick one. The fact that you don't want to have sex with someone you just met (even if sexually attracted to him), means it's not really the sex, per se, that you are after. What you're after is a relationship. The sex is only incidental and a nice perk.


If I had sex with every man that I was sexually attracted to when I first met him, I would have had 100s of sexual partners by now and probably a nasty STD or two.


No, but it means that such women make sex a chore for a guy, since he's getting sex in exchange for giving up his freedom, having to become responsible and having to play all those roles he has to play to be in a relationship. And I think most guys don't want to change their lives just to get laid and that's what getting into a relationship means.



It's interesting that you view being in a relationship in such a negative way considering that you're engaged...


I'm pickier about a person I become responsible for than a person I have sex with.


I'm pickier about whom I choose to share an intimate part of myself with.

The bottom line is that I'm not interested in a man who views being in a relationship in a negative light and needs to manipulated into one. I want a man who wants a relationship as much as I do.

Not all men think about casual sex in such a manner.

I'm currently dating a man who has made it very clear that he has no intention of sleeping with me until we are in a serious relationship. He has informed me that he has only had a handful of sexual partners in his life. This guy is moving far more slowly and cautiously than what I am accustomed to. I certainly don't feel any need to push the issue with him. It'll happen when it happens and I don't want to pressure him into doing something that he is not comfortable with because I care about him a person, not a masturbatory aid.

I told him about this thread and the opinions of some of the male posters and he was flabbergasted that they aren't more worried about catching something.
 tlcme1964
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 893
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 6:35:04 AM
Yet I've experienced the opposite. Those I've dated seemed to believe an emotional relationship can be built on a physical one & want sex sooner rather than later. Perhaps it's just in my age group because it's how we did it when younger. Doesn't apply now though, at least to me & although I express my views upfront, I lost count how many times I've been grabbed, groped & fondled, so soon after meeting.
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 894
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 7:55:45 AM

You have to be kidding. Are you really losing something by having sex? If so, does your partner know you think of sex that way?
Are you even reading the words i wrote?? How on earth you read that I felt i was losing something when i have sex I will never know.. My post was about the use of the words "giving it away/up" and how guys often use the expression themselves but get all pissy when women use it. These forums are full of men referring to women "giving it up" but for some reason the men here aren't jumping all over them for using the expression, only doing so when a woman uses it..

It continually blows my mind when a man and a woman can look at the same words (or even say the same words) and see two totally different meanings...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 895
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 8:05:43 AM
My post was about the use of the words "giving it away/up" and how guys often use the expression themselves but get all pissy when women use it. These forums are full of men referring to women "giving it up" but for some reason the men here aren't jumping all over them for using the expression, only doing so when a woman uses it..


There's a bit of a difference between someone using an expression in a post buried in some thread and someone posing a question about it in the title of a thread. I don't even open the majority of threads on here.

As for what some men say, I believe you should hold the person who utters a phrase responsible for those words rather than use them as an ad hominem argument against the entire gender. If the same guy used a phrase and got pissy about women using it, you would have a point.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 896
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 8:14:08 AM
GPS is an ad hominem. No men on this thread seem offended by that.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 897
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 8:42:13 AM

GPS is an ad hominem. No men on this thread seem offended by that.


Not sure what it even is, aside from global positioning system. Maybe general purpose sex? If so, I'm not sure how that would be considered an ad hominem.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 898
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 9:03:35 AM
Some interesting posts recently in this thread.

Yes, you do give up something to be in a relationship. The question is, do you receive enough in exchange to make it a worthwhile trade off? I believe this is equally true for both men and women. And everyone has to make that decision for themselves, based on the individual circumstances.

I do not understand what the female posters are talking about, when they state they are giving up something in order to have sex. What exactly are you “giving up”?

And here’s one that totally, completely flabbergasts me. Ontario_woman states clearly and unequivocally that she is pickier about whom she has sex with than whom she becomes responsible for. This statement completely blows my mind. Casual sex is just that, casual. Becoming responsible for someone else, another human being, is a very, very drastic step. It is life changing, you cannot just make that kind of commitment and then walk away from it. I simply do not believe that most women would share her viewpoint, no matter what they think about casual sex.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 899
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Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 9:06:53 AM
And here’s one that totally, completely flabbergasts me. Ontario_woman states clearly and unequivocally that she is pickier about whom she has sex with than whom she becomes responsible for.


Perhaps I should clarify. I am only responsible for myself and my minor child. My spouse, as a full functioning adult, is responsible for himself. I don't consider being in a relationship to mean that I am responsible for someone else. It's about boundaries. I consider a relationship as a partnership where we both work together for a common goal.

The women in my family have a tendency to be over-responsible in that they take responsibility for their spouse. The outcome to that is never good. I've seen them struggle too often with men who were little more than overgrown children in need of a mommy. I don't want another child. I want a man.

I mentioned that I am pickier about with whom I get intimate with because I view getting physically intimate as more than just a physical act. It's an emotional one as well. When I get physically/emotionally intimate with someone, I am sharing a very personal part of myself, thus putting me in a vulnerable position. I don't want to do that with just anyone.


Yes, you do give up something to be in a relationship.


That's what I was trying to get at in my earlier post. If you view a relationship as somehow giving something up, then you shouldn't be in a relationship. I only want a man who wants a relationship; not one I have to coerce into a relationship.
 hardcandy24
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 900
Not giving sex away without the relationship
Posted: 3/20/2012 10:20:34 AM
Sex before a relationship doesn't make u a whore, are people 12 on here lol as 4 waiting, nothing wrong with that!
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