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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.      Home login  
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 Little-Lotte
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 26
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Good for you! If that's what YOU want to do, and not what someone else whether that be a family member or institution wants of you, than all the more power to you.

You're only 18, you're still a teenager, despite the new responsibilities that come with that new number. If you're feeling pressure now, I can't imagine what how you're going to feel in your 20s. And honestly, unless you specifically look for men who are committed to the same choice as you, yes, your unwillingness to not have sex will be a big hurdle. I'm hoping that you won't make the mistake of getting married quickly just so you can satisfy yourself sexually, which means making someone wait YEARS. And if they were previously sexually active, well that's not really a very realistic thing to expect.

I lost my V-card to my first boyfriend, whom I'm still with. It was actually a damn near perfect experience, like a movie, as cliche as that seems. What ever eventually may happen between me and my boyfriend, who knows. But I don't regret that first time or all the other many, many times we had sex afterwards. It was on my terms and when I was ready and most importantly felt comfortable.

I just feel personally that unless you're looking ONLY for men who want to wait until marriage as well, then what is this important "gift" you're giving him? And why wouldn't you expect the same in return.
 septjanjune
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 27
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/9/2012 4:58:09 PM
guys dont seem to care about that anymore. there more interested in what kind of girl you are if your nice maybe a worker not a drunk . virginity is only a one time deal after that its over .
 deeniegurl
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 28
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/10/2012 7:51:09 PM
I'm sure you heard this already but let me just say it again. Do not and I repeat DO NOT just lose it just to lose it. I'm 22 about to be 23 and I'm still a virgin. Why? Not religious or because of marriage. Its because I want a meaningful, long lasting relationship with someone I connect with before I lose my cherry. Have I been a pain to many guys? Yes. Have they insulted me by calling me names like prude and snob? yes but those guys( and some girlfriends) opinions dont matter at the end of the day. Its your body and your choice! Good luck!
 jesuskier
Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 29
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/12/2012 12:58:36 AM
Honestly, I feel like sex is highly overated. Now I guess you can take that with a grain of salt cause I'm 34 and still a Virgin also so I don't think anybody should be ritculed for being a virgin. Sex is obvously a big business in todays times but that because sin is big business. The world is going to hell in ahand basket so don't even feel like you're on outcast. You where made special in the image of God and you will be rewarded one day in Heaven for your obidence to his word. Now I'm not trying to preach cause actually I wish I could get over the hump and just have sex but I can't seem to find the right one. Every girl I've dated always brings up the "issue" of my virginity and often times feel like I'm not normal (and to socity ,I'm not) and they say crazy things like, "Having sex with me would prove you love me or want to be with me". It's all so funny cause they just turns me off more and to me, makes the girl sound kinda slizzy. Now am I wanting to wait till marrige? Ideally, yes I would but at my age I feel more and more everyday like I'm never gonna get married so there may come a point where I may just have to get a hooker and get it over with! Of coarse I'm just kidding cause that would totally go against everything I beleive in but I just have a few issues with sex that I'm gonna have to overcome. It's gotta figure me out I guess. But anyway, I just wanted to post and let al virgins out there young or old ,that you're not alone so keep your head on straight and I'm told it will be well worth it when the time comes;)
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 30
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:15:27 PM
A postive first experience with the right person goes a long way to having a healthy attitude towards other people and sex in general. Don't fall into the peer pressure/society crap. Do what is right for you. You know what you want and what feels right. Let that guide you, and don't let anything pressure you to do something that doesn't feel right for you. Having a healthy attitude towards sex, and escaping all of the baggage that many others accumulate, goes a long way towards finding the right person to have an awesome, compatible sex life with.
 -ck-
Joined: 6/30/2009
Msg: 31
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/20/2012 11:48:30 AM
I say keep it. Do you know how many times I wished I was a virgin, before I joined the army anyway? Besides once you lose it to that one guy that is willing to respect you enough to wait and marry you, I can't say for sure, but your first time might be just that much better. I lost mine a horrible way lol wayyy to young, but I also see myself never getting married. Ill probably get shot or blown up in this shit hole country.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 32
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/20/2012 12:02:07 PM
"I feel that my virginity is ment for him and only him."
___________________________________
Make sure he realizes this before you get married. Otherwise he'll have to explain why he cheated on you because he got "bored" in the bedroom.

Those kind of sentence don't mean anything anymore.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 33
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/20/2012 12:17:10 PM
actually ..I just reconnected on facebook ...lol ...with the girl who took my virginity 40 years ago ... actually we hold each others V card .. we both have different lives, went different ways and much water has passed under the bridge ..but there is still a connection and always will be ..we both agree on this ..and agreed to always be friends ..we had a long discussion and are going to meet in person in the near future to talk over old times ..I am very glad that I lost mine to someone special ..even though we didnt end up together for life

here's to you Melinda
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 34
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 2/20/2012 12:26:03 PM
Well, I don't think a sandwich correlates well with sex (lol). However, have you or anyone else thought of it like this? Marriage is just another thing thought up and created by humans, just like a sandwich . Anyway's So a person thinks it's right to abstain from something very important (sex) that I believe is a need, just in the hopes of one day impressing someone else. Sort of like the woman who thinks she looks good being thin, perhaps even to thin, so she starves herself and becomes anorexic. All just in the hopes of pleasing someone else or others.

Besides that, the one we marry is suppose to be the right one for us, the one worth having sex with. So does that mean then that everyone who's divorced did not actually marry the right person after all? That it was just an error in judgement? I would say possibly. So, if two people were together for many years and never married, but were intimate, is there relationship any different (per say more sacred) than that of a married couple who did not remain married as long, as the unmarried couple?
 survivor37
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 35
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 11:48:57 AM
What is wrong with sex before marriage? How about: 'What is wrong with anything?' In other words, where do you get the moral code by which you live your life? There may be a whole number of different responses: 'I do what I feel is right' - my morals are entirely personal and arbitrary. Or 'society decides what is right and wrong' - laws are made and as long as I stick within them everything is OK. Or anything in between those two responses.
 johnlondonsingle
Joined: 8/8/2010
Msg: 36
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 1:41:16 PM
a virgin is someone who has not had intercourse with the opposite sex.
so yes, its true you can still be a virgin where you have had sexual activity with another woman.
you are bending the rules though
 DeerTaint
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 37
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 2:07:46 PM
I'm in my 40s and never got married. Boy am I glad I didn't wait LOL

The only one who cares about being a virgin is the virgin. But you keep waiting. It's been several months since this was started. Wonder if she's still a virgin.
 AspenJack
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 38
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:18:11 PM

Oral and anal provide to fun alternatives while you maintain your virginity for that chosen one.

Technically, you’re right, of course. But, I think you miss the point of her position on the matter.
 dan88anew
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 39
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:36:02 PM
I actually planned myself to wait until marriage to have sex. Its a nice idea. In the long run it was just not something that panned out. Just seemed to be more of a fantasy where you meet someone fall inlove and get married and their the only person your ever with. But life aint that simple
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 40
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 5:19:51 PM
I think that's great that you're waiting for marriage. It's very rare & respectable.
Don't feel embarrassed about it, that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Don't let anyone make you feel weird about it or pressure you into anything.
The right guy will respect you and will wait.
Tbh, I wish I had waited until marriage like you are doing.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 41
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 6:16:38 PM
When I was a younger man I was involved with a young lady who was raised a strict Catholic.

She was also passionate and independent and this often put her at odds with her upbringing and mother's wishes.

We certainly pushed the envelope and came close on a few occasions to going all the way, and not because I was pushing things, she surprised me with what she suggested without actually crossing that line.

We did break up and eventually married other people and she contacted me years later and we chatted about our lives since then.

She ended up marrying this bloke who turned out to be a bit of a jerk, the marriage didn't last long and she told me she regretted not having a full sexual relationship with me. I asked her how close we came and she replied 'It wouldn't have taken much!' lol

I was still with my ex wife at that time so it was a moot point. As much as I would have liked to have picked up with her again, it was too late, things had moved on for us both.

This is only my personal experience of course, but don't deny yourself a full sexual life just for the sake of the expectations of your religion. Don't deny yourself this wonderful human experience with others so you can present your virginity as a gift to your husband on your wedding night.

You might not find the man you wish to marry for many years, in the meantime you may come to know a raft of fellows who may not be marriage material, but perhaps relationship material, or boyfriend material even? Who knows?

I just feel you are limiting your range of suitors by having this stipulation. Relationships come in many forms and don't have to lead to marriage and physical intimacy is a natural consequence of two people wishing to keep company with each other. When I was dating I naturally expected to be sleeping with a woman once we got to know each other at a certain level.
 dearsavannah
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 42
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 6:23:11 PM
You shouldn't feel ashamed for being a virgin, you should feel strong for having morals and standing by your religion. If a man can't accept that, he doesn't deserve to be with you. Stay strong and always believe in yourself. Never let anybody pressure you into doing something that you do not believe in.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 43
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 6:40:13 PM

If a man can't accept that, he doesn't deserve to be with you.

Pretty judgemental I feel. Just because a man won't accept this young lady's conditions for a relationship doesn't mean he is unworthy.


Never let anybody pressure you into doing something that you do not believe in.

This is fair comment of course and should also include the pressure from a religious institution to conform to what for many is an unnatural ideal of human relationships.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 44
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 7:01:32 PM
~OP~ You and only you can determine what's right for you with regard to your own body. I really don't think the "virgin" thing means as much today as you think it does, but that's the glory of you not being me. If it's important to you, then so be it. Do you think you'll be able to find a man to marry who is also a virgin? Because that's very likely going to be the best fit for you. Otherwise, don't you think you'd be a bit bitter/condescending that you waited "for him" but he didn't wait for you? I mean if you're thinking in terms of "taking something away from him" wouldn't he be taking away something from you if he's not a virgin and you are? And there is something to be said for having sex before marriage: if you aren't sexually compatible with your spouse? It's going to be a very long "til death do you part." Sex is a VERY important part of marriage. I just don't know if it's wise to go into a marriage without knowing what sex is about or how you mesh with the other party ~ but hey ~ if you've thought this through and it's what works for you? I really do wish you the best of luck.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 45
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 7:10:14 PM
You should do what you think is right.

It really doesn't matter what we think. It's your body, your life, your decision.


A ex of mine left me for a slut that would give it to a brick wall if it was possible (I'm not bitter at all :p) because I didn't want to have sex.


If you weren't bitter, you wouldn't be saying that.
 Tinkerr Belle
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 46
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/28/2012 11:33:20 PM
I was a virgin when I got married at 24, and I don't regret it. I only regret losing it to someone I later realized I did not love. I wish I could go back to square one and be a virgin now! That should tell you I applaud your decision.

But like many here said, don't piss off people using terms like morals etc, since it would get their back up, if you come across as holier-than-thou. Date guys, don't just display the NO SEX board until you really need to. And I guess you'd know when you meet someone really special - with or without a wedding ring on your finger - all your morals would fly out the window then and you won't know what hit you when you hit the sack with him! Good luck, kiddo :)
 internetdatinglol
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 47
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 5/29/2012 10:00:25 AM
I love how religious types view their virginity as a divine gift they get to bestow on some lucky mortal. Please.

I also love how by saying they're a "moral" person by waiting the obvious implication is the rest of us are somehow immoral. Give me a break.

As a lot of people here would know, the experience of losing your virginity can be beautiful or extremely ugly. For me, it was simply awesome... I was in love with the girl, she was in love with me and we lost it to eachother when the time was right. It was a loving, playful and natural experience that I could never forget. As Godly as any experience could be, I would say. And no, we weren't married.

Nonetheless sister, I wish you the best of luck in retaining your charmingly anachronistic puritan worldview. I got over the Catholic thing when I was about 10 but if it works for you so be it.

ps: it's also pretty obvious to me that your zeal for this virginity stuff has in some way been catalysed by what happened with that guy you were in love with. If this is the case you're letting him and that girl get to you more than you're willing to admit. Talk to your preist about it, better yet a psychologist.
 MisterHumor
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 48
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Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:57:19 PM
Welcome to a life lesson. You wouldn't do, what someone else would, and your BF left you. Doesn't make him an ass or her a slut. She seems smart enough to realize sex is actually natural, and enjoyable. And he naturally enjoys it lol.

You want to wait to lose your V be my guest. But having sex is a natural, wonderful process. It's in our DNA. It's what we do. We enjoy it. It's what separates us and 99.9% of most animals.

My advice. Go have sex. Enjoy it. God gave us the ability to enjoy it, so go enjoy it. :D
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 49
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 6/22/2012 2:57:31 AM
There are virgin guys & girls, that come into chatroom. Maybe u guys can become inyernet friends
 ifyoucanonlysee
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 50
Sex, before marriage. Still a virgin.
Posted: 6/22/2012 3:20:39 AM
Donna wanted to wait until marriage in 90210, and guys ended up dating her while getting action on the side.

My advice would be to find another Christian man with the same views. Any other guy who says he can wait for sex and doesn't have strict morals is lying. Guys crave action like women crave shopping.

Just find some asexual Christian guy.
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