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 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 76
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Quote: So Charlie.....you are saying you need to be put in the mood and that mood will be decided by atmosphere.....is that about right????....... end quote.

Well... yeah! I detest coffee shops that have no atmosphere with the plastic chairs and tables that are not a whole lot different than being in a Walmart type coffee shop. I hate it.


However, c deacon, I would meet you in a coffee shop and while I may not bring my zippered cue stick for a pool game, I do know how to beat the windmill on putt-putt golf and could take you on a bet any time.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 77
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/20/2012 5:40:00 PM
Not all coffee shops are that way, and there are many with nice outdoor patios, large indoor rooms with coffee tables, nice chairs and places to work on computers, read, and yes.....do a meet and greet.....

Now, to challenge me to a game of golf or pool, is like asking me to ride on the back of your bike......and we know that just will not happen as long as I have mine......

So, meet as you need to, but remember the key part of this......it is to meet and not just chat!

cd......
 soicat
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 78
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:52:02 AM
I've never had any success on coffee date meets. For me to have a shot at getting lucky on a first meet there has to be liquor involved.
 HappinessOK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 79
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/21/2012 6:35:34 AM
Went on a coffee meet yesterday... another interview! Nice guy BUT no attraction what-so-ever!

No never had success on coffee meets...

oh..and his pic was 10 yrs old! I hate that!!!
 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 80
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/21/2012 2:08:34 PM

I've never had any success on coffee date meets. For me to have a shot at getting lucky on a first meet there has to be liquor involved.


 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 81
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/22/2012 12:49:13 AM
To me, coffee dates are.dull an unimaginative plus there is a lot of pressure to converse. I had more success with dutch treat date to a movie we both wanted to see and talk after about the movie. If it didnt work out, at least I saw a good movie I was going to pay to see anyway. Ps. I met my current beau this wday.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 82
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:11:15 AM

there is a lot of pressure to converse.

If there's pressure to converse, then I must REALLY not be a match for the guy. I like to sit and casually talk, it's one of my favorite things to do with someone else - and so have most of the guys I dated. If conversing with someone I'm considering learning about isn't free flowing and enjoyable, then I'd rather just get up and leave.
 TopFind
Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 83
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:13:31 PM
I've been very successful. Eliminated most applicants.
 DRFK
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 84
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/22/2012 5:59:01 PM
Yes ,,,,,,,,,,in a way,,,,,,,,I basically chalk it up to a motorcycle ride.....nothing expected.
 1Petite4u
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 85
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:26:12 PM
I find the entire coffee date thing far too antiseptic and structured, hence it has never worked for me. Meeting in other fashions has worked way better! I get the OP's message, I too would rather stick needles in my eyes. Ugh!
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 86
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:35:07 PM
My best meetings combined coffee meet with a walk. Before of after.
 Merlot5
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 87
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:00:41 PM
Although I have not read every response regarding your thread, I have to admit the overall collection of replies helped clarify my own personal understanding of coffee meets. A very nice woman once asked to me to attend a coffee meet. I agreed to meet her and never showed. I just couldn't get passed the idea that swirling a piece of raw meat around in a cup of coffee would trigger lively conversation. Apparently I missed the whole notion of a coffee meet. Admittedly, I don't get out too often, and I thought it was a new dating trend. It won't happen again, and thanks for helping me evolve into a more worldly individual. Merlot5
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 88
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/23/2012 5:55:01 PM
not an exact answer to your question but, I don't mind being under a microscope so much, but dammit thats like being under one and that one I hate lol lets just visit via email text phone for a while and tho it'll take longer to get there, do something ANYTHING esle beides the sit and meet over coffee and 'SEE IF THERES A CONNECTION? how the hell do you do that with neither of you being yourself. Slow down some, we're not going to win the dating game today
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 89
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/23/2012 6:14:42 PM
I suspect that the most successful thing accomplished on most coffeemeet dates is actually finishing a cup of coffee.

 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 90
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/23/2012 6:18:40 PM

With no meet and greet I do not like to try to know them... a meet and greet is the only way to online date.


The "only" way?

Perhaps for you.
But with millions of people supposedly meeting this way, one would think that 2 reasonably intelligent adults could come up with something more interesting and exciting than just 2 nervous people sitting at a coffeehouse trying to "see if there is a connection."

 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 91
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/23/2012 7:42:07 PM
I like Barnes and Nobles or a cozy little sandwich shop. A meet and greet is just a short interval to see if you connect. You can always extend it to dinner, a walk, a movie, or whatever. I like to meet pretty quickly after making contact. No need to spend all kinds of time via technology only to find out that there is absolutely zero chemistry.

I have had some really fun coffee meets and have met some nice people. I dated someone for three years after meeting him at a restaurant. I met another man after that I cared for very deeply for a few years. It can net a catch, but you have to be willing to meet people. At our ages, blending lives can be a challenge, but you won't have a chance to even try if you don't put yourself out there.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 92
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/23/2012 7:50:54 PM

I like to meet pretty quickly after making contact. No need to spend all kinds of time via technology only to find out that there is absolutely zero chemistry.


There is another angle to this. I like to find out through a few emails and telephone conversations more about the person. No need to dress, drive, spend money and time on an obvious mismatch.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 93
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:23:38 AM
Bottom line is this:

If a guy is well suited for me will be someone I like to talk to and find interesting no matter where we go, so even in a coffee shop, sparks will fly. It doesn't have to be a coffee place, but (the meet, for me) it does have to be quick, convenient, inexpensive.

If you don't like coffee shops, that's fine - but don't blame lack of success on them, tell me you don't drink coffee, or tell me it's nervous and awkward because of a coffee shop, that's BS. Just say it's not somewhere you like going. The fact that it's a coffee shop will have no impact on whether or not you get along - the fact that you are not a match will usually be the reason.

I have never been in a coffee place with a guy I actually liked and found it to be unpleasant. If the place we met in was all it took - a lot more people would be off the market.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 94
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/24/2012 3:12:36 PM
I agree......It is much more the person and your connection with them, and not the location of that connection.

If we meet and greet and there is mutual attraction, we have taken the first step to success. The second step will be to see if there is chemistry or not, and that happens with the flow of talking and body language as we get to know each other. The third step, which is the hardest and takes the most amount of time to find out, will be compatibility, and that will need more than just a meet and greet, and may not be found until a few dates later or even longer.

I can discover this at a coffee house, book store, walk in the park, or having a glass of wine at some local establishment. The key is finding it together and having that mutual attraction that must be there in order to explore step two and three.

cd............
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 95
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/16/2014 10:59:52 PM
Why don't the POF veterans use the search function before starting a thread called "The Coffee Date"?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 96
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/17/2014 4:46:02 AM
The current coffee date thread was started by someone who's been on POF less than 6 months, hardly a veteran. A lot of veterans said "here we go" when the thread was started - but still participated in it.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 97
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/17/2014 4:54:31 AM
Uh, only my most successful, coffee got me laid, literally. Not bragging, just stating for the record. It might not be the rule, but its a nice odd exception.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 98
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/17/2014 10:13:38 AM
What is the bull about not caring if someone is hot enough to "do"? It's a no brainier that you need a personality to get along with the opposite gender and we all know the difference between our relations with friends and families vs a romantic interest and it has to do with the physical.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 99
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/17/2014 12:26:47 PM
So what if there is a past thread.? I like current input.

I only met at a lounge for wine but....doubt if all that important in the scheme of things. As long as the milieu allows for conversation. Bottom line is I would have always deferred to the woman on the first meet. My suggestion where to meet but her final call on it.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 100
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/17/2014 4:08:44 PM
The last coffee date I had was literally binging on productivity!

We both had 2 shots of espresso added to our large coffees. By the end of the meet, we had:

Proofread a term paper.
Made each other's profiles more attractive for the opposite sex.
Collaborated on a peaceful solution to the ISIS dilemma in the Middle East,

[B]WE GET RE-FILLS, AMAZED AT HOW MUCH FUN WE ARE HAVING. [/B]
[B]I GET THE PUMPKIN SPICE AROMA BLEND AND SHE GETS NUTTY DOODLE, CAUSE WE'RE FEELING SO GIDDY NOW.[/B]

We then:

Write down our family trees and discuss our geneaology, happy to discover that her tree is not a straight line.
Compare our 401K balances, noting who should keep working to support the other in the event marriage happens.
Disclose contents of medicine cabinets, agreeing that anti-psychotics are a deal breaker.

Our libidos are no where to be seen at the end, and we agree we're not compatible.
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