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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Men who are addicted to internet dating sites      Home login  
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 Corporate_Katatonia
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 51
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sitesPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Honestly, I like the commenting on the forums much more than actually trying to use these sites to "date".

I prefer trying to date offline....as in meeting people, making a connection, and go on a date with them. I'm not opposed to online dating, its just secondary to a real first connection, thats all.
 blonde.sugar
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 52
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/18/2012 6:59:05 PM
"So, we should believe you are giving us the 100% truth in this thread -- why?"

you shouldn't. It matters not at all to me

Thanks for your response, everyone.
 elainedu
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 53
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/20/2012 4:59:04 PM
So, how would a person determine if someone they are seeing has put up a fantasy profile?
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 54
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/20/2012 5:06:54 PM
at least he doesn't do it in real life
 Mr_Celibate
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 55
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/20/2012 5:34:35 PM

Do they ever outgrow it?

Yes we do outgrow it, but only if we have somebody snooping over our shoulder and complaining about it. Then it's possible.
 nigelwright
Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 56
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/20/2012 6:35:35 PM
Perhaps he is like me and just likes chatting to people on dating sites ?
I have made a few friends on pof and often just chat to them, it doesnt mean I am going to jump into bed with them.

The internet is quite addictive anyway.
 ScorpioH
Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 57
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:22:26 AM
I just came across your post and my feeling is that I believe addiction is not the right word. Internet dating sites are here for people to create connections. When you meet someone offline from an online dating site , it does take time to build a relationship. Some people will never be satisfied with whom they meet so they are going to keep attending the Candy store and see if they could find better. My feeling is that once people are connected and they are happy with one another , they will take themselves off the site or become inactive. If someone keeps looking then they arent the commiting type and probably will never be OR they arent truly happy with whom they are seeing . It does take time to build a relationship and if this man likes alot of attention and alot of variety then why are you wasting your time.. Just remember a leopard cannot change their spots and listen to your heart .
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 58
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:27:29 AM
Darn, I've been found out!

The only site I'm addicted to is the POF forums!
 blonde.sugar
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 59
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:44:02 AM
Scorpio - and all similar posts:

You are right. I've decided to stop seeing him. Thanks for your input.
 adapie39
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 60
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/24/2012 7:29:14 PM
Hi I would say no they don't grow out of it. I have a friend who was involved with some one for 3 years and is now on this sight and he is not what he says he is. he has alot of baggage he was with someone for 15 years. and she had major problems with him with woman, then there was a girlfriend for 7 months and he was not honest with that one and last known was my friend who he was with for 3 years and did the same to her. so my option is no they are what they are.
 mystifying
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 61
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/24/2012 11:31:34 PM
I read this article about how people on internet dating always think that the perfect person is right around the corner........there is no perfect person, so they end up being on the dating sites for a long time, always believing they are right around the corner, passing up people cause the picture does not look right, or for other little things....I can see how it could get addicting.
 Reality_Check
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 62
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/25/2012 4:50:40 AM
WOW!! ... I can't believe the opinions here! ... That lack of insightful, introspective understanding here is entirely outweighed by paranoia and childish self-esteem issues imo. (in my opinion)

I can't wait to see how I'm jumped on for my perspectives, as I for one, thrive on controversy ... lmao!

Blonde.sugar IMO! you let the masses of hysteria outweigh your own judgement ... That's truly sad! ... You had someone that you had a relationship with and dumped him because of the mass of public opinion, that knows neither of you intimately and how you act & react toward each other, and understood their audacity to comment negatively on your relationship ... and gave their words more credence than your own thoughts & feelings?? Incredible!

Allow me to play devil's advocate for a second here ... lol ... & stay tuned to watch the feathers fly ... lmao!

This is an internet dating site ... (No shocking revelation there ... lol ... right?)

Surprisingly, I have gone to a number of chat sites very recently that used to discuss only business ... but that was years ago ... lmao!! ... Now, these same sites are infested with sex & provocative innuendo not-so-vaguely guised ... lol ... I left!! ... I was there to discuss business, or try to, anyway ...

PoF is a dating site??? ... What is dating??? ... Imo!, it is the attempted fostering of a very special relationship between two individuals, that culminates, usually, if successful, in a long lasting relationship that usually has some sexual component to it, (LOL! ... NO kiddin!) because BOTH individuals WANT that aspect of intimacy within the relationship ... presumably at least ... lol ... I mean, we're not teenagers here!

Okay ... so take away the sexual component of any relationship, and what do you have remaining>??

A FRIENDSHIP! ... Is that such a bad thing? Is there such as thing as having too many?

PoF has less sexual discourse within its reams of textual commentary / discussion than a TON of other sites, devoted to anything but dating! ... The fact, that others' insecurity in allowing your boyfriend to exist on this site unhindered, where there are more paranoid & insecure people per capita than just about anywhere else on the net, accusing others they do not know of sexual misconduct is ludicrous! ... imo! ...

Cheating is a choice! That choice can be made whether or not a person exists here on PoF, or anywhere on the planet!!, unless what these myopic individuals are suggesting is that without PoF, this girl's boyfriend would be under lock and key and not ever allowed out of the house such that temptation can never be an issue! ... THAT is nuts imo!! ... WOW! ... Arguably, because of its anonymous format, it is harder (meaning it takes more time & effort) to cheat here on PoF than it is by talking up the corner store cashier, or the waitress at the local restaurant / pub!

Blonde.sugar, if you have enough self-respect, and self-esteem such that you know you are something extra-special to lose, imo, there is a very good chance your former boyfriend was at least equally aware of that ... and as such, should be expected to conduct himself accordingly... imo! ... I mean really, if the b/f went to a strip club, do you not think he'd bring his extra excitement home with him to see you??? ... Or would you suspect he'd be trying to make time with the ripper?? I mean, if you suspect the guy of errant behaviour because he wants to spend increasingly less time with you, that I think might be an issue, but if given the choice between spending more time with you or more time with the internet dating site, and he chooses you each time ... LOL ... Dear!, imo, you got one guy that's fixated on you ... Isn't that what we all want? and in reciprocity?

Imo, there are a vast number of naysayers here that ought to be ashamed of themselves for helping to destroy an otherwise functional relationship!

Someone tell me what I'm not seeing / missing here??? ... Yikes!

TTFN
 CHULO_MALO2010
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 63
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:53:24 PM
Let me get this straight, you're dating a guy that is on internet dating sites??? WTH??? I don't think it matters if he will ever outgrow it, it's only a matter of time til he hooks up. You should be fishing for a guy that will be satisfy with you and only you and not looking on dating site FOR ANYTHING. Good luck.
 checkinitout525
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 64
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/29/2013 7:21:35 AM
I just ended a relationship with a man addicted to internet dating sites. We were together for a month and he said he was all mine and no more playing games but yet still kept his profile on the dating sites and continued to check his messages and whatever else he was doing that I don't know about. He had also published his phone number for everyone to see at one point and said to text him. It was obvious to me that he was never going to delete his profile in order to give our relationship a real chance. When I spoke to him about this fact on two occasions, he got all bent out of shape about it and we broke up both times. I really like and care for the guy but it is obviously a waste of time to continue on this way.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 65
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/29/2013 8:03:55 AM
^^^^So how do you know he is on dating sites and was checking his messages unless you were there too? And how do you know he was checking his messages? Were you using a false profile or using a friend's computer to test him to see if he would respond to messages you sent? It sounds like a lot of game playing to me.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 66
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/29/2013 8:31:00 AM
Maybe one day...one day...we will all wake up out of our internet induced haze, look up at the real world and realize how much we have been missing lost in our private little digital playground. We've missed out on genuine friendships, relationships, healthy sex, true love. I could go on. We seem at the moment, cocooned in this strange fantasy, addicted to "what might be" instead of appreciating "what is" in our lives. Neurotically checking celphones during dates, going home after meeting people and checking to see who else may have messaged, everyone is always on the verge of leaving everyone else. Nothing seems to matter except that promise of "someone else out there is just a little bit better.."

Online dating can be a toxic arena. You have an addict on your hands. He will never stop. Think about it. He's not focused entirely on you.

If you are happy and comfortable with this, and can live with this and what it might possibly mean in the future, then by all means go for it.

If not, it's time to move on.
 Peachx22
Joined: 8/11/2012
Msg: 67
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/29/2013 4:20:34 PM
Yep, I've encountered that type... The worst is when they try to deny it and you're like dude, "just own up to it"
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 68
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/29/2013 6:24:17 PM

Yep, I've encountered that type... The worst is when they try to deny it and you're like dude, "just own up to it"


How did you encounter that type? Did you own up to going on the dating site and see his profile there? How does he know what you were doing on a dating site?
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 69
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/29/2013 10:40:12 PM
ha ha ha, this is funny. You just made my night.
How did y'all meet? Did y'all met up online or did a friend introduced y'all?
"I don't believe" meaning you aren't sure if he met up with anyone. Hmmm, lol
Why would a guy go on dating site unless he's interested in finding someone? Dating means dating until you are exclusive with him. So are you his "girlfriend" or his "date"?
Sweetie, dating is a time to know people and he has his free will. Until he finds the right fit, I'm sure he'll be online till he finds "the one". lol You might have been it but since you snoop and showing sign of distrust or jealousy, hello? It's taking a toll on you because you are feeling more for thim than you admit so communicate with him.
Attention whore? I would never put my man down and it's weird how women seem to want to change a man, you can't! Accept the person for who they are. If he had the right attention from you, I'm sure he won't be wasting so much time on computer.
Weird how some women are! If a man gets what he neeeds from home, I don't believe he would look elsewhere.
Are you tolerating him or is he tolerating you? Ponder on this.
 XheavenandhellX
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 70
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/30/2013 5:51:10 AM
Best is when then try and rationalize their behavior why they are on an internet dating site while having a relationship.... :D
No sorry, girl put your boundaries in place and boost your selfesteem with something else.
Attention whores never make good partners
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 71
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/30/2013 7:55:49 AM

I have made a few friends on pof and often just chat to them, it doesnt mean I am going to jump into bed with them.


Is going to POF the only way to chat to these friends? Don't you have access to Facebook or e-mail or text messages? How often do you chat to these friends on the phone or meet in real life? If your only access to these friends is by going on POF, they are not really friends.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 72
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/30/2013 11:39:19 AM
People have to stop thinking they are in a relationship (as in some exclusive love thing) when all that happened is they met someone who would meet them in person and they starting having sex and maybe kind of liked each other's company. A month? That's two strangers having sex with each other, that is not a relationship other than a sexual gratification relationship. So when it ends just as quickly, don't go around whining like your partner of 10 years just up and dumped you, some one you barely know decided they didn't like you after all and move on, that's what happened in most of these cases. I'd be embarrassed to death to go around talking about relationships and being used, etc., if what I'd actually done was bedded a one-night stand that maybe lasted a few more times. Sex is great, when it is in fact great sex, but it's nothing more. You have to date someone, get to know them, find out how you fit together as a couple, it takes time, there is no instant formula. And if you willingly have sex with someone you don't even know, or are just getting to know, you are not a victim, you are a willing participant having sex with strangers.

As for the original post, he may or may not be cheating, but not being on dating sites is no indication, and being on dating sites is no indication. Cheaters cheat, the rest are not cheating because they don't want to. Find out which on you are with before you think you are in any kind of serious relationship.
 ryuoki
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 73
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/30/2013 12:00:04 PM
He must be an extremely good looking guy to be getting messages that often? More women than men will use a dating site just for attention IMO. I am sure there are guys who come here for some but usually they have to be top of the line attractive to receive such and lie through their teeth in the 'about me' areas.


People have to stop thinking they are in a relationship (as in some exclusive love thing) when all that happened is they met someone who would meet them in person and they starting having sex and maybe kind of liked each other's company. A month? That's two strangers having sex with each other, that is not a relationship other than a sexual gratification relationship.......


This excerpt is exactly right about relationships. Before you claim one both parties need to admit it to each other and introduce themselves to outside parties as a couple before a real relationship can be claimed. Otherwise its just FWB type relations and always always always someone has more feelings for the other in such. The real power lies in any relationship with the one who cares the least.
 imdamaged
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 74
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/9/2014 8:50:43 PM
Im hoping so cause i have one too. my man is addicted to talking to girls and he says he has been for 15 years. he says hes trying to break it but it dont seem like it. I would also like to know if there is hope cause Im carrying his baby and
I love him very much! Its nice to know im not alone in this struggle. KIK me butterfly82fairy we can chat about it
 imdamaged
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 75
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/9/2014 8:52:05 PM
im trying that and it hasnt worked for his exes
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