Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 148
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day mealPage 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Nope...I think it was 1 date in 3 months. Other than that she's been cooking @ home for them.

Yes please...equal value & appreciation. Doesn't seem to be what the OP is getting.
 CalypsoRach
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 149
view profile
History
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/21/2012 3:45:48 PM

Nope...I think it was 1 date in 3 months. Other than that she's been cooking @ home for them.

To be fair if she's not happy with the relationship she should do something about it. I still don't see where it makes him not a keeper though? Oh ps they go shopping too :o/


Yes please...equal value & appreciation. Doesn't seem to be what the OP is getting.


If she's not happy she should bring it to his attention. However I feel there are parts the OP is not telling in this. Which perhaps would make more sense than a simple gripe over something she suggested. Either way she should bring it to his attention. On the basis of communication.
 allln
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 150
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:48:16 AM
well anita2207 your profile says Marital Status Not Single/Not Looking i think that he should chargh you a studd fee
 GALLANTPIRATE1
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 151
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/22/2012 9:22:35 AM
"MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL, EH"??? What the Hell are you going on about, giving false advice to that poor girl. Look, lets get something straight here....where do you women get the absurd idea that MEN should pick-up the Tab(Bill)for a meal??? I believe you girls are always touting on your POF Bios that you want to be EQUAL with your MEN! If you gals are truely sincere about being Equal with Men, then ACT LIKE IT & PAY 1/2 the Meal. And STOP WHINNING!!!javascript:smilie('')
 anita2205
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 152
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/22/2012 9:33:14 AM
I cannot believe you are still going on with this..... I think you need an update to change the subject.......
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 153
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:41:57 PM
lmao this is still going on? Anyways, anyone with a poor attitude is not going to get much out of dating.
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 154
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:32:27 PM
lmao this is still going on? Anyways, anyone with a poor attitude is not going to get much out of dating
-------------------------------------------------------
Agreed
 DMV_Living
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 155
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/24/2012 5:56:20 PM
Screw the money. If money over dinner is going to be an issue then it's not meant to be. I enjoy buying dinner and I also love having dinner bought for me. Again, it's not about the money BUT it is about the moment/time while having dinner.

For my own dates, I will pay without hesitation and if she insists a second time, I then put on the table that she can pick up the next tab. I've never had an issue about it. It's like one poster said earlier, splitting tabs is just weird.
 cautiousluv
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 156
view profile
History
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/24/2012 6:18:18 PM
I can only go off of what was said.

OK, Mr. mrcs84. I would say you have a comprehension problem but I know that's not true SO.....I'll repeat what I'm pretty sure I already said. If I were a man.....it would make ME feel less manly.....I didn't say it was less manly in GENERAL.


What I was getting at is


Where's all that need to "better articulate"?


What I was getting at is that there are those of us who are "man" enough to not put up with the crap that is being dished out to us (i.e. walking out) all for the sake of something trivial (e.g. mans responsibility to pay on Valentines Day).


I agree, and I will admit that I never even commented on the whole Valentine dinner because I couldn't get my mind off her saying they have been together for 3 months and have NEVER gone out. I just kept thinking she must be in some kind of FB situation but just doesn’t realize it....lol But who really knows the REAL situation


I actually find it kind of pathetic how much men have devalued themselves in society,

I could say the exact same thing about women.


But, please, go on. What is this "it" that you get?


Ummm....I'm just saying that a lot of men do a lot of bending over backwards for the women that they are dating.


The 'IT" I was talking about is just what you were going on about. You seem to be angry or fed up with woman right now. And maybe some of the woman have given you a reason to feel that way.....there are a lot of PEOPLE (men and woman) who are very selfish and make everything about THEM. People (men OR woman) like that...DO tend to make us put our guard up....but that's a GOOD thing.....because I'm sure there are also many people that aren't like that......OR so I've heard!



 cautiousluv
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 157
view profile
History
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/24/2012 6:45:30 PM
Screw the money. If money over dinner is going to be an issue then it's not meant to be. I enjoy buying dinner and I also love having dinner bought for me. Again, it's not about the money BUT it is about the moment/time while having dinner.


EXACTLY!



I've never had an issue about it. It's like one poster said earlier, splitting tabs is just weird

I think going dutch is "weird" on a date also. And It's not because I want the man to pay (as I know how some men think) I just think it's embarrassing to do the whole dutch thing BUT.....I always offer to pay my half and am prepared to pay. I've been out to dinner with someone where they paid for dinner.....and then afterwards went out for a few drinks and I paid the tab while he was in the restroom. I've also made dinner for someone at their house.....I bought all the groceries before hand....and would never even think of him paying for "half".....that would kind of take some of the pleasure out of it for me.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 158
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/26/2012 9:19:12 PM

Screw the money. If money over dinner is going to be an issue then it's not meant to be.


It is not obvious, but you contradicted yourself.

You can't screw or not care about money, and then use money to disqualify a date. You either care about your date's willingness to reciprocate, or you don't. You either care about being fair to your date, and your date to you or you don't.



If money over dinner is going to be an issue then it's not meant to be. ...
Again, it's not about the money BUT it is about the moment/time while having dinner.


You are basically saying that if money is not a problem on a date, then the date should be about the moment/time spend together. I partially agree.

Consider this though:

Some men care about getting laid and will pay whatever bill they need to achieve their goal, and so in this case clearly money won't be an issue - your condition of "money being a non-issue" is satisfied.

Perhaps, you are okay with this soft of translation. But I doubt you think it is "fair".



For my own dates, I will pay without hesitation and if she insists a second time, I then put on the table that she can pick up the next tab. I've never had an issue about it. It's like one poster said earlier, splitting tabs is just weird.


If she pays for the second date, you are splitting the tab over two dates. If this is not weird, I don't see why splitting the tab on the first date is. However, either way is acceptable - the same result, different means.

What's not acceptable is one person (the man) paying for every date or most dates - like coderedjulia1 and some other women insist and expect.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 159
view profile
History
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/27/2012 2:06:53 AM
This thread reads too much like the ones about an ORDINARY date, but this is specifically about "valentines day"

Which last time I checked HADNT been changed to "All about the women day" or "spoil a princess so her insecurities are less visible day"

So its not a day for MEN to spoil and treat women, its a day for people of BOTH genders to make vapid shows of devotion to offset their half assed attitude during the rest of the year

So there isnt any "the man should do blah blah blah" nonsense on valentines day, its a two way thing although it does seem that quite a few of the female posters do seem to think its an "all about them day" like they probably do on the other 363 days of the year lol (excluding their partners birthday, which would just be about how nice the present THEY bought him was no doubt)

Although I do think its bizarre for two people to date for three months where one likes to go out and one doesnt

Despite what some are claiming niether is "wrong", its just simply that the two people dont seem very compatible so why flog a dead horse for so long? Good sex would be my first guess tbh
 cubanguy
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 160
view profile
History
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/27/2012 9:01:35 AM
Valentine´s Day is not about you but, about both of you.
Yes, there is a rule: a man has to treat his lady in the same way she has to treat him, after all, we´re equals... and that´s what you like, right?
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 161
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/27/2012 9:38:25 AM
Uh...she's been treating him to home cooked meals for the last 3 months. She wanted to go out on Valentine's Day. He may have some sort of phobia about going out, but it sounded to me like every other day of the year they do what HE likes (at her expense). She shouldn't offer to split the tab if she didn't mean it, but I definitely don't think she was asking too much.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 162
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/27/2012 10:42:33 AM
Of all the 'made-up' days to get people to spend when they would not otherwise have done so, Valentine's Day is the most blatant. As I have said before, I don't let retailers and advertisers dictate what I feel a certain day or what I do that day. That's my proxy, not theirs.

I much prefer to go out to dinner when both are in the mood to do so, "just because". One might pay this time, and the other does the next time we eat out or order in (that is, when my hubby was alive, of course). It's more comfortable than both lining up to pay half the bill. Or, one might pay for the meal out, and the other purchase the fixings for, and make, a BBQ feast or a picnic basket full of treats, to be consumed at some special location.

I would never want my guy to take me out if his heart wasn't in it -- especially for as spurious a reason as that it is a 'certain' date on the calendar.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 163
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/27/2012 10:44:55 AM
I've never thought of shopping as a date before. Let's see. Clothes shopping for her would be my choice. She tries them on and models them for me and I tell her what I think. She disregards my opinion and buys what she likes anyway.

I like it.

I have to go change my "First Date" option to shopping.
 Willy.Wonka
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 164
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:49:09 PM
You know the poor girl closed her account. The abuse she took from the usual suspects was surreal. She had every right to expect some kind treatment on her first Valentines Day. Some of you are purely venomous. You know who you are.
 dan88anew
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 165
view profile
History
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/27/2012 5:05:33 PM
Nah its not a rule. Some women even take valentines day as a day to treat their boyfriend.

Thats what it should be a day of mutual love where you both show how much you love each other, Not a one sided affair.

End of the day it shouldnt be about the money. If he pays, If you pay what does it matter. I mean if you love each every and have been together a long time who cares that you had to split the bill.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal