| | wants to date but nothing serious????Page 3 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | I would take this at face value - "wants to date but nothing serious".
I.e. "date" - go out, have fun (sexually and/or otherwise) but not looking for a committed, lasting relationship.
As for being "hung up" on people's stated intentions, I actually think it's useful to have an idea of what people are looking for so that time isn't wasted.
We've aired our differences on this topic in the forum before and I fully appreciate that some people are somewhat scornful of those looking for a "relationship" (because of course, "relationship" inevitably means "deathly serious", doesn't it? Yeah, right...) and we want to steer clear of "clingy retards" (how charmingly put :)), don't we?
We're all different - I don't go criticising what people want - they are who they are and they want what they want. I appreciate people are at different life stages and if someone hasn't got over their divorce, for instance, I understand they want something casual and non-commital.
I can only speak for who I am and what I want and from past experience. Maybe, it has to do with age and being a boring old fart but I just don't want to be going down cul de sacs anymore, anymore than I want to be kidding someone I'm just satisfied with casual dating - there's just no point. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:19:31 AM | ^^^ what Rocky PP59 said!
I dont think its healthy to get hung up on peoples stated intentions either!
Its one of the things that helps to weed out the ones you dont want!
x | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:27:37 AM | I think the majority of people who do read too much into the various intentions, will be those who are totally focused on getting into a relationship.
I am not going to say they all think that way - that would be ridiculous. But many of them do seem to have tunnel vision when it comes to intent and if you're not focused on getting into a relationship too, then you are either timewasting or are ruining it for "decent" folk.
I agree that it is a bit silly to read so much into what the various intents might mean and people might stress less about how other people are using the site, if they just look at them as guidelines. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/16/2012 7:56:54 PM | I think It means they will date whoever , whenever, when its convenient for them and only on their terms....
Open to having sex on all these whenever,wherever, whoever dates with no obligation to contact you ever again..
Thats my perception, anyway....otherwise, why not just put dating...it has a specific meaning and when selected instead of dating it's due to it's specifically vague meaning
I'd rather hang out with my real friends .... | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:09:25 AM |
wants to date but nothing serious????
i havent read the thread so i dont know if a conclusion has been reached but in my experience, this is something a bloke puts on his profile because he sees it as uncool to want "long term".... such blokes are normally ok with getting fecked off when i remind him that he only wanted a date and not a meaningful relationship...
i ignore the intent on profiles... seems to me that everybody wants a proper relationship, whether they admit to it or not.. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:02:24 AM | It seems to me to be the most common one at least on profiles I've seen.
In my interpretation it means people want to go on a few dates with someone and get to know them a bit before deciding whether to take things any further and have no expectations beyond a first date before hand, as opposed to jumping straight into a serious relationship and tying the knot before the clocks change again. I think it also helps (in theory) to deter people who may be clingy or make you the centre of their universe within a fortnight of first contact. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:40:05 AM | dating, is the art of going out with someone and enjoing a day/night out where you find out about each other and maybe even enjoy yourselves, people date to asses a relationship. the sex is what happens after dating, thats another thing entirely.
the nothing serious bit i would hope is self explanitary, people want to date and not get into anything serious unless they otherwise desire, this does not indicate sex by any means...
london G, i'm sorry thats your experience, but many men do it to woman too... and i have nothing but praise for a dude looking for something more than sex
Cheers | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:12:45 PM | Just the subject I was thinking about...
For that reason I avoid women who have that on their profile.
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Well I don't know about women but I assume there are some the same as me. And I think it does not have to mean that at all.
Maybe they just don't want to get into clingy feelings right away, take things as they are, maybe as they come... Who want's to go to a serious date ffs?...I don't, I don't want to be sitting there thinking, 'Am I going to be getting in a 'relationship' with this person?"! Or any such stuff. isn't acting like this actually detracting from what is the actual relationship?
I don't know really, but for me a relationship is a real thing, built on things happening, what you do, not what's in some peoples heads.
I guess the whole idea of preparedness goes against my experience, I went for a 'date' recently, the perfect way to turn a relative stranger into a mortal enemy.
Ps Hi all, Hope your doing good. . | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:41:07 PM | Seems everybody has a different take on it. Wonder if it ever causes problems?
I would like to know why there isn't a "lets see what happens"? | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:52:49 PM | I see what your saying Rocky, I did not mean to be scornful.
But really is taking things in any degree of seriousness what you want from the outset? If wanted is 'seriousness' not built over time?
eg, You haven't even met yet and already there is some frame that gets put over events. I don't think it's about types or age bracket as much as an approach that has more chance of working.
I guess some people are just looking for others to fulfil clear expectations or want's, but it does not have to be all like that. And from what i'v seen the better outcomes come differently... | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:09:33 PM | | I think it means "I'm here to play the field and if I get lucky enough to have several different men/women on the go at once and you dont like it....tough sh*t you were warned". | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:29:23 PM | | Just goes to show how differently we all think... I thought it meant I've just been let loose from Broadmoor's psychiatric unit and I want to take things slowly, just in case I have another total melt down involving a pick axe and some rope and wind up being taken away in a strait jacket back to the clink. | |
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Liv_G
| | Joined: 7/10/2012
Msg: 63 | |
| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 7:34:27 AM | I take it to mean that they are happy dating various men/women until they meet the one they want a relationship with, which is what we all want, it's just worded differently.
I wasn't sure which option to put but decided that looking for a relationship sounded straight to the point. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:24:22 AM | Oh that's why when i put down in my profile that i wanted to "date but nothing serious" nobody wrote to me...
I always thought that the difference was dating (including sex) but nothing serious (ie not moving in in 6 months time, get married in the next 6 and have kids within 2 years...) or just be friends (hang out).
I never realised that men thought that dating but nothing serious would mean dating a dozen men at the same time and just use them for free dinner... | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:02:46 AM | | I'd say "but nothing serious" pretty much precludes anything serious with anyone at any point hence "nothing". I certainly wouldn't read it as "might be serious with the right person at some point". Personally I'd avoid anyone with this as their intention. I'm not sure how anyone can think it means anything else.. ..."but nothing serious" is pretty damn self explanatory! | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:20:57 AM | If the choice of what to put wasn't given to us would it make any difference? it may mean you'd have to get to know somone to find out what their intent is just like the good old days as opposed to just hitting the back button because we've mis interpreted their intent and judged them accordingly.
I used to have "wants to date but nothing serious on mine" i was actually looking for someone to date, take it easy and see how we got on, i'd rather a relationship evolved slowly in a natural, organic way. No way on gods earth did i want to date lots of different women, that's just not for me.
I always viewed "wants a relationship" as sort of putting the cart before the horse, how can you possibly know you want a relationship before you've even met someone who makes you want to have a relationship with them?....it made no sense to me and it sounded a bit desperate. I ended up changing it in the end because i was sick of being called a player.
If i was a player i'd have put "wants a relationship" from day one, anything to maximise my chances seeing as so many women seem to have this daft fixation on the intent part of profiles. Players are not famed for their honesty after all. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:29:49 AM | Three pages and 67 messages later and no-one seems to have a clear, united idea of what all this guff is about - most of the time people don't even read the profile, let alone agonise over the 'intent'............
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_roxy_
| | Joined: 3/16/2012
Msg: 68 | |
| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:10:20 PM | ^^^True.
I was a bit naive when I first joined. Intimate encounter sounded quite lovely, don't we all want those [eventually]?
Of course I soon realised when I see this most likely its going to be a sexual no-strings encounter. I don't bother chatting when I see that anymore. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:48:06 PM | The choices are pretty rubbish.
For me it means I want to get to know someone and not rush into anything.
Whenever I've put down the 'I want a relationship' choice the first messages get all seriously over gushy and too full on for me! | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:19:17 PM |
I was a bit naive when I first joined. Intimate encounter sounded quite lovely
Agree, I guess to many that's means 'wham bam'.
Players are not famed for their honesty after all..
Good point, and good post imo.
I ended up changing it in the end because I was sick of being called a player.
I still don't know which way to turn, Do I really want to be with someone who thinks like this? Tempted to go the other way and say not looking for any relationship or commitment. That would be more true to first things first.
It's very restricting, I agree with the above suggestion of 'meet and see what happens', or put our own intent? Also seems to me a lot of peoples actions defy there intent in real life, me included, and sometimes that's the best bits. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:28:17 PM | I asked a girl this question and she meant "I'd like to date but I don't want to get married again"
Others will interpret it differently.
It's like size and the word curvy. I met (not for a date - just met re business) a lady and she had put "curvy" as her body shape. She was a size 6 or 8 max!!! When I asked about "curvy" she ran her hands over her A Cup boobs and said "I've got curves and am proud of them"
What we read doesn't necessarily mean it's what the writer meant! | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/19/2012 7:24:50 AM | Wants to date but nothing serious means a fling or casual relationship as in sex, friends with benefits etc. The clue is in the nothing serious part, serious means a relationship; not sex!
If you are a woman looking for a relationship then don't put wants to date but nothing serious on your profile because you will get used for sex. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/19/2012 11:36:11 AM |
Wants to date but nothing serious means a fling or casual relationship as in sex, friends with benefits etc. The clue is in the nothing serious part, serious means a relationship; not sex!
I'm surprised such a renowned serial POF shagger (with want's a "relationship" on his profile) is so narrow minded to be honest. You've just proved my previous point beautifully. | |
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| wants to date but nothing serious????
Posted: 7/19/2012 12:52:27 PM | I think it means that they want someone to go fishing with them so the date can take a pic of them with their giant fish for their profile Tilly.
Edit vvvv LOL | |
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