| | Cold feet? Page 2 of 2 (1, 2) | | Honestly, you don't need to be rude! Lots of people in their 20s live with their parents due to different reasons. One of the reasons is that school is expensive!!! If you go to school you will have debt. Once you are done school it is hard to find a great job because these days an undergrad doesn't seem to be enough anymore so you have to go back to school to get a graduate degree...more debt. With all that debt it is hard to leave and get started. Even once you get a great job and start paying off debt it takes time, especially on a single income. So please don't judge people that still live at home. Especially if they get along with their parents and family because in the long term chances are it will only make them an amazing person with whom to start a family. This does not make us lowly individuals, it makes us people who are fighting to make it in a world that does nothing but judge other people. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:08:41 AM | | Either date someone who lives closer, buy a car, or move to an area with public transportation. A relationship is probably not going to work when you live 45 minutes from the other person, neither person has accces to a car on a regular basis, and there isn't sufficient public transportation. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:54:35 AM | | Probably not cold feet, just doesn't want to see another plan fall through. When he knows he has the car for sure, I bet he'll make a plan. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:00:57 AM | hes making excuses/changed his mind/got better offer/someone close?. ethier way he not that into you. best move on methinks  | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:21:02 PM | | Msg 24, foah, I worked to have the money to buy my own car and insure it by sixteen. But then again I had motivation. Look the word up. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 3:11:26 PM |
Not being materialistic is hardly the same as failure to launch, you are 25, time to start living like a grown up.
I completely agree with the above comment. Instead of worrying about dating, you need to enlist your mom's help to find a car you can afford. Or maybe she could help you buy an older one with cash and then you could pay her back on time. Start checking Craig's List. Unless you live in a major city, not having a car at 25 is ridiculous. And a guy not having one is even worse.
Another question? How can a man who can't even afford a car possibly pay for a date? Sorry, I don't see a future with this guy. Grow up and move on. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:13:34 PM | Btw, I actually COULD afford to buy a car if I wanted one (albeit a cheap one), but I'm saving money to probably take another degree instead. Why would I need to buy my own car when I live within walking distance of work? I guess it would help in situations like this date, but I have more important things to save my money for right now.. such as saving up to do another degree so I CAN get a good enough job to get out of my mother's house!!
Actually, I could afford to move out too, but saving and doing the other degree will give me more opportunities. I don't want to be stuck at my current job forever, which is how I'll end up if I get an apartment. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:18:02 PM | | ...and as for him paying or being able to afford to pay, I go out with people because I enjoy their company/have fun with them, not because of what they can or can't buy me. If I liked someone, I wouldn't care if they lived in a cardbox box on the side of the road - ok, I'm exaggerating a bit, but you should know what I mean! I'm perfectly willing to buy my own stuff, food or drinks, at a meet and I actually always have. This isn't the stone age. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/22/2012 11:33:17 PM | i dont need to look it up msg 30
yes motivation ,but everybody use it in his own way , whats he/she find important ,
everyone value things differently , and you may have motivation everyones intelligence is
different some are weak , some strong , peoples perception changes at different stage and you may have motivation again everything takes time unless you know the situation of an individual then you ask whats his excuse , and again did any on ask you to buy him/her a car ? be happy you have this strength i appreciate it | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/23/2012 4:57:23 AM |
Honestly, you don't need to be rude! Lots of people in their 20s live with their parents due to different reasons. One of the reasons is that school is expensive!!!
Yes, lots of younger people live with parents while completing school, but most don't want to be at the complete mercy of parents. I am a student, and most of the young students I'm in school with do at least have cars.
Most people can get a bachelor's degree by 22. If she is still depending on mom at 25, who knows how many more years are going to slip by while she is still sitting around using school as an excuse. This poster has much bigger fish to fry than dating. She needs to overhaul her life and gain some independence. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/23/2012 5:27:27 AM |
Most people can get a bachelor's degree by 22. If she is still depending on mom at 25, who knows how many more years are going to slip by while she is still sitting around using school as an excuse. This poster has much bigger fish to fry than dating. She needs to overhaul her life and gain some independence.
For what it's worth nowadays a bachelors degree is practically useless.
We have inflated our education system to the point where if you want to stand out to any degree you need a Graduate or Masters degree, and even then that can be a crapshoot.
Also ragging on anyone that is 25 and living with parents in this economy is just uncalled for, hell there are 40 year olds moving in with parents due to foreclosures, no jobs, etc.
5 years ago I probably would have agreed with you that anyone still depending on family at 25 needs independence, now I'm not so sure I can agree with that sentiment.
I live with two roommates and we're all about 25, the thing is the cost of living in this area is ridiculously expensive, paying $1,800 a month for a 1 bedroom or paying $1,000 a month for a 2br and living with an awesome couple.... I think I'll pocket the extra $800 a month, it doesn't impact my ability to date and I'd argue that even living with family wouldn't impact my ability to date.
I am a student, and most of the young students I'm in school with do at least have cars.
Really, are you going to a predominately wealthier school? Because "Most" students are pretty damn poor and would be hard pressed to have a car and afford the insurance/gas/upkeep not to mention the cost of the car on their own.
Are you even aware of how bad our economy is still? I'm in one of the wealthiest parts of the country statistically and even we've taken a huge hit in sales and employment.
The OP's situation has more to do with distance between the individuals and the lack of public transportation on their end than anything related to living with parents or not having a car.
What kills me is the prevalent mindset that people need cars when the reality is that people need to live where public transportation WORKS and then stop insisting on owning a car and clogging the roads which then leads to a failed public transportation system.
But to each his/her own, just don't cry when the price of gas continues to skyrocket so that you can enjoy that joyride.
We spend more on gas in order to joyride and cruise around than most people make in a week or even a year worldwide. | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/23/2012 5:30:34 AM | Op i would be happy if you really have your own mind, you know what you are doing in your life ,where you want to be ,dont continue on this thread defending yourself with some ignorant attacks, you dont have to be like others with cars to get people to like you, get a date or i dont know if you drink or not get some beers have fun on the week end
peace  | |
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| Cold feet?
Posted: 2/23/2012 5:09:48 PM | Btw, I do have a bachelor's degree, and I did finish it when I was 22, at the end of 2009. I have not been able to find employment related to my degree so I have worked a couple of retail jobs since then, except for one semester in which I started another school program I thought would make me more employable but didn't find it right for me. I did 'lose some time there', but everyone makes mistakes.
Almost no students I knew in school had cars, unless one of their parents had bought it for them/helped them buy it in some manner and that was still very rare. Some of the people I had classes with didn't even have licenses. While I was in school, I did live in a major city (Ottawa) and honestly didn't think too much about driving.
I'm from Canada, so things might be different in the United States.
If ex-cons and drug addicts can date, I don't see why there's this sudden backlash against the CARLESS ones of us dating! :P | |
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