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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?      Home login  
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 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 51
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating? Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Nope. Not when your morals are in place. It's more like being charming.
I am charming every day at my job. But it is my job as a barber to chat and do their hair. That is ALL I do. Whether they are relationship material or married, young or old. I am simply being charming.
I have a code of honor.
Now, if one is without morals? Flirting could be considered somewhat suspect.
 Cyandigo
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 52
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:11:52 PM
quote If you know it is something that your partner disapproves of, then it is absolutely not ok.

Absolutely disagree. /quote

I did not mean to imply that you should avoid doing ANYTHING your partner disagrees with; nor did I mean to imply that you should do everything your partner wants. However, if your partner believes that flirting is cheating (or wrong or inappropriate), I think you should make a decision whether you can live with that restriction or not. If not, then leave the relationship. I think it is wrong to stay with someone and flirt with other people if you know that your partner considers that a breach of trust.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 53
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:16:13 PM
How jealous are you? If you saw your mate/spouse flirting with someone would you automatically assume they were cheating? Is flirting while in a relaitonship considered cheating


No; fliting kep syuor claws sharp; to my benefit.

Plus, lets face it, it;s fun!!

However; I would have to have assurances in a few cases that there is nothing more going on. For example, dont flirt too much with that guy you go on business trips with for work....ya know? (that's painful)

But ya; flirting's fun for EVVVERYONE.


A good flirt can and will flirt with anyone- men, women, children, dogs....
It's attention without intention-- it's flattery, it's compliments, it's charm.
A bad flirt only flirts with someone they're sexually interested in.
I'm not interested in bad flirts.


Look at that hardball fly over that centrefield fence.

 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 54
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:39:46 PM
No, I do not see it as cheating at all. A woman that is with me can flirt with as many people as she wants. Some women think that is a positive until they experience it. Some confuse a lack of jealousy as a lack of caring.
 Cyandigo
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 55
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:43:19 PM
I've seen a lot of people say flirting is ok. I've never met the person who saw their partner having lunch with someone (and witnessed feet touching) who thought it was ok. I've also never met the man who was completely cool with his gf telling some hot guy that he looked incredibly sexy in that suit.

Flirting is fun for lots of people. Sadly, most partners have different ideas on what constitutes acceptable flirting. Many also have a double standard concerning it.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 56
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:56:47 PM
It simply comes down to what your partner is comfortable with If your partner is not comfortable with even an ounce of flirting then it's a problem.
I work in a restaurant/bar and have a married couple that comes in on the regular. The wife is a HUGE flirt. In front of her husband and even his mother. It used to bother me and there had been a few occasions when she would say or do something and I would have to look at the husband to see what his reaction was/ confirm that I ain't hitting on his wife!! But he seems mostly comfortable with it so I play. But I stay very concious of him.

In my personal relationship, flirting would be a no-no. Her level of comfort and mine are not the same so I adjust my level of flirting to match hers. In the end it is better to keep your partner happy and secure in my opinion.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 57
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:35:21 PM
I've seen a lot of people say flirting is ok. I've never met the person who saw their partner having lunch with someone (and witnessed feet touching) who thought it was ok.


And that is where intent comes in. Crossing the line of the playful verbal to the physical (never mind the lunch date itself) makes a world of difference.

As far as telling a guy in suit he looks hot, who cares?
 Jac_the_Gripper
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 58
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:32:05 PM

I did not mean to imply that you should avoid doing ANYTHING your partner disagrees with; nor did I mean to imply that you should do everything your partner wants. However, if your partner believes that flirting is cheating (or wrong or inappropriate), I think you should make a decision whether you can live with that restriction or not. If not, then leave the relationship. I think it is wrong to stay with someone and flirt with other people if you know that your partner considers that a breach of trust.

Okay, I getcha.

For me, if there's no trust, there's no point.

I've seen a lot of people say flirting is ok. I've never met the person who saw their partner having lunch with someone (and witnessed feet touching) who thought it was ok. I've also never met the man who was completely cool with his gf telling some hot guy that he looked incredibly sexy in that suit.

I getcha again.

My first reaction to this was, "Is playing footsie flirting???". Of course it is, but its a different domain of intimacy. It would take me a while to get over my shyness to become this intimate with anyone, so its not the good old British barrier of flirting that I described earlier and comes under the category of me being un-imbecilic enough to be aware of acceptable boundaries.

As for lunch "dates", I wouldn't consider going to the biker caff with my mate a date and flirting there is compulsory, especially with the mamas who chuck you your egg and chipps across the counter.

Likewise, I'd never be so forward as to tell someone they look sexy in a suit, but I might say, "Ooh, look at you, don't you scrub up well" to someone I know.

Maybe its because I'm a tailor. I behave differently with my women customers than my men customers and differently according to age and personality type. Tailoring can be quite intimate - sometimes I have my hand shoved down the front of someone's top for pinning without stabbing purposes. I have to be able to do that without making women feel uncomfortable. I have a different "act" of flirtation and flattery with different people according to inherent boundaries. Many people come to me for the feel good factor - they leave my workshop feeling like they're the most beautiful, stylish person ever. To do this act with a woman 10 years older than me is a positive thing, to do the same act with a man my age, or a youngster would be intimidating and horribly, creepily, cringe-worthily, unpardonably rude.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 59
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:43:14 AM

Flirting (or coquetry) is a playful romantic or sexual overture by one person to another subtly indicating an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, and can involve verbal communication as well as body language.

That is from Wikipedia ^^^

I would certainly not be comfortable with my guy making sexual overtures to another woman in front of me. Behind my back would be WORSE. Being gregarious and charming are different things than flirting. Compliments aren't necessarily flirting. It all depends on the tone. I wouldn't automatically assume that he was cheating if all I witnessed was some talking and laughing, but the minute I saw him touch her with any familiarity I would have doubts. I would also have doubts about his faithfulness if I saw him passing out his contact info or if he dissappeared with her for a long time at a wedding.


Once one enters into a relationship it doesnt mean they stop being men and women they just stop being single for however long the relationship last.

I don't go into relationships thinking that there will be an ending. I go into them thinking about ways that I can grow the relationship into something lasting and enjoyable for both my partner and myself.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 60
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:04:52 AM
It is not cheating, but it leads to cheating.

Flirting gives the two individuals an opportunity to respond in such a way that could open doors that normally would have remained closed.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 61
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:28:10 AM
Flirting alone does not lead to cheating. It has to be coupled with something else. That other item on its own will lead to cheating before flirting will. It is just lays silent.
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 62
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:11:30 AM
It depends on how one defines flirting. I tend to be nice to everyone till I am given a reason to be otherwise. Sometimes I get accused of flirting because of this.

If by flirting one means touching and gawking and commenting on how hot someone is then yes, to me that crosses the line.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 63
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:18:57 AM
Flirting is being emotionally, verbally, or physically provocative in an attempt to gain the attention of another. It usually leads to inappropriate conversation.

There is a difference between flirting and being friendly and out going.

My 2 cents.
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 64
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:19:48 AM
As I pretty much said in an earlier post. if I get free drinks or apps from my date or girlfriend flirting I have no problem with her doing so. You can use these types of situations to your advantage.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 65
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:23:27 AM
Flirting is just a prelude to screwing. Natural charmers do that all the time, yet they know they arent allowed to screw if not single. Doesnt stop them from doing it anyways, and it doesnt mean either that they mean anything by it. Sometimes, its just a self-confidence issue. Someone who flirts a lot can be very insecure about himself.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 66
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:28:36 AM
Rather than make up definitions, it is best to actually look them up.

Here is how Websters defines flirt.


:

1 to move erratically :
2 a : to behave amorously without serious intent
b : to show superficial or casual interest or liking ; also : experiment
3 : to come close to reaching or experiencing something —used with with



And the definition of Flirting:


flirtingpresent participle of flirt (Verb)
Verb:
Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions: "it amused him to flirt with her".
Experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 67
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:39:01 AM

I have a different "act" of flirtation and flattery with different people according to inherent boundaries.


Discussing those boundarieswhen they are realized, and respecting thse boundaries is "everything".

These boundaries also fluctuate per situation and person being flirted with.

Touchy subject.

(no pun intended?)
 friendlygirl63
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 68
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 6:14:55 AM
So Are you ready can accept your mate do that too? Do you try think how people look at your mate if see you flirt to other and then your mate not see..not good idea beautiful
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 69
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 8:29:55 AM
There is a fine line between being friendly and flirting. If I'm in a relationship, I will not flirt at all whether she was present or not. I have a code of honor to never behave in a way that would make her uncomfortable.
 cckch
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 70
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 8:41:59 AM
I agree, Sheply... If you're still flirting with the opposite sex, you're obviously not complete with the relationship you're in.. At the risk of sounding like a Bible thumper, "If a man even looks at a woman with lust in his eyes, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart." I completely agree with that.. If hurting the person you love is less important than flirting, you don't deserve to have the love of that person...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 71
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 9:04:09 AM
Flirting and all other forms of a constant need to get attention and approval is a sign of insecurity in my book. If a person is happy in their own skin, they don't have the constant need to be the center of attention and get other people's approval at all times, 24/7. I don't go around begging people to pay attention to me and focus on me only, so I wouldn't be able to date someone who isn't happy unless she gets approval from everyone else at all times.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 72
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 6:59:02 PM

It is cheating only to the insecure and needy. Why hook your life to a needy insecure person?



Such is humanity for you.

Anyone can afflix justification to doing what they want to do if they want to do it bad enough; that takes virtually no skill.

I think a better question would be: why would a good man waste his time, good faith and resources on a woman without enough respect for him and his contributions to stop herself from baiting other men?


Of course; everyone's concept of flirtatiousness is different. The term is sort of up to interpretation. It depends on what you consider flirting to be honest.

There's going out to lunch with a guy...and backing one into a corner in a dark night club. I've heard both examples used as definitions of flirting.


Agree with this.And from my end,if I am out with a date and another woman flirts in a way that is obviously looking for me to bite in her presence,I won't respond.To do so would be rude and demeaning to your date.And vice versa.
 J_bird61
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 73
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 7:43:36 PM
There's different kinds of flirting.
When you've been around the wrong kind, turns your mind against the idea that there may be a right kind.
I personally would never flirt with another guy in front of my man.
Last thing I want is a humilated man on my hands.
 alextheparrot
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 74
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/9/2012 12:56:33 PM
It's only cheating if your partner says it is. If you're uncomfortable with their views and there is no compromise, maybe you both are too incompatible. If they feel like you are cheating by flirting, their trust for you will suffer every time you do it.

As for me, I think I'm just as jealous as anyone but I do a good job of rationalizing things and getting over it. I wouldn't mind seeing my SO flirt; in fact, I'd be curious. And I feel that flirting does not equate to cheating, but in a relationship, that's something for BOTH me and my SO to decide.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 75
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:40:51 PM
I've always found both men and women who feel the need to incessantly flirt while in relationships were at the minimum annoying and at other end obviously lining up ****s on the side. One should be able to enjoy the company and conversation of the opposite sex without the corny flirting once in a relationship.
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