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 ConnCat
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 26
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is pof only for sexPage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

people are less likely to do this on the real pay sights sooo spend some of your hard earned money....


How do you draw that conclusion? Does having $20-$30 extra to spend a month create a whole new demographic of "gentlemen" and "gentlewomen"? I don't think so! Match.com is a pay site, and we all know what a meat market that is. During the short, depressing time I was on match, I received way more "check out my sna**ch" Webcam come-ons than real emails. Also, fake profiles were rampant on match. You clicked into what you thought was a blonde from Long Island, and suddenly she's someone from Nigeria trying to get you to send her money!

Matter of fact, the reason that I made a personal policy years ago of using free sites only, was that I was convinced the peeps were gonna be the same wherever I went, so why pay up? Sure, POF has its share of goofballs and freaks, but in my short time here, I've also been in touch with a slew of real folks, and been on some dates, to boot. If I found that someone was looking for sex only, I wouldn't necessarily give them the boot. Let's just say the matter would require further review.

But I don't ever feel I have to say I'm looking for more. You can figure that out from meeting me. Anyone who assumes that's all I'm about before even knowing me is way too cynical for me, anyway.
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 27
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:01:20 AM
I am noticing this A LOT, if I had a dime for every lady's profile that said, "IF you're only wanting SEX, move on to the next profile!!" Of course, I'm not here for that, and you can't really reassure them that when you contact them by saying, "Oh, I'm not here for that kind of thing."

I'd be a rich man.

I think they feel it's easy for the, because it's more discrete and behind the screne. I knew this woman said that this guy had 3 differently ladies living in opposite directions from him he's met on a dating site, and was seeing them all one after another, and at the time none of them knew about each other.

Others include, I'm noticing lately, a influx of people currently on the "outs" with their sig. other. Like they got into an argument or an on and off thing going on with their 5 year relationship, so they come on here between break ups or to make themselves feel better by corresponding with others......make dates with them, then they kiss and make up with their current boyfriend/girlfriend and they disappear from the site.
 Greeneyesand501s
Joined: 1/23/2009
Msg: 28
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 5:28:58 AM
<<---must have lead a sheltered life. I get so little on here that the crack of dawn is starting to look pretty darn good to me. It's all about friendship with me anyway. At my age, it's like a dog chasing a car. I can catch up to the tire but what do I do with it then ?
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 29
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:58:19 AM
I've had pretty good luck with this site. I've had relationships from here as well as lots of dates. Yes, there are crazies on here and guys just looking to get laid but if you weed them out there are alot of normal people too.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 30
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:56:00 AM
Igorfrankensteen

I can't figure out where I fit into all this. I'm one of the many "not getting any" here, so if POF is all about hooking up for FWB's, then I'm a total failure.

I'm not the one telling on anyone for having sex (there's someone doing that?), so at least I'm not the tattle tale.

I'm not angry that I'm not getting sex toys here, so I don't fit that group, and I'm not paying for other sites, so I'm not one of those.

Oh well.


Plus one. Admittedly I could take up one of the offers but for me, it needs to be more then just sex. Oh well.
 Cgirl1980
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 31
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 9:10:43 AM
99% yes. The other 1% if given the opportunity for a wham bam, thank you mam would probably jump too.

Same as real life really, except people can hide behind a screen; it shields rejection much better, and therefore people feel it gives them license to be even more vulgar.

I met a guy on POF. First date went AMAZING. At the end of the date, I merely got a little hug. I was shocked! But infinitely intrigued! Second date, was also amazing. While we were looking out into the ocean on the beach at night, with his arms around me from behind.... He gave me a kiss on the top of the head.... Surprised me and had me laughing on the inside. I was hooked though! Third date, I kissed him, and since then on, we've been inseparable. So they're out there, the one who is serious about finding someone like you, and getting to know you for who you are first, before they're even interested in how you are in bed.
 GodsChild750
Joined: 1/14/2012
Msg: 32
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 9:17:13 AM
There are nice men on here that are looking for a real relationship and not just out to get in your pants. I have encountered some.
Some women have very provocative pics in ther profile and then wonder why they are attracting men that only want sex. It's all in the way that you present and carry yourself. Yes, there may be a some that will approach you in that matter no matter how you present yourself. But, if you present yourself as a classy woman, men with class will apporach.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 33
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:28:17 AM

so as pof is free one can assume that people come here for free sex... does that mean that people on paid sites are there for paid sex?????


At least the guy on Match.com is putting a down payment on the cow.

The point is that this site is FREE. Therefore when people like OP complain about running into folks only wanting sex, what do people expect to get out of such a site?

My thoughts exactly...
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 34
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 11:10:01 AM
Like many have said, I've also seen the same faces on any free or paid site I join. The local demographics do not change whether you're laying out cash or not.

I've found POF has the most action as far as quantity of messages received and actual dates I've had. I've also found that POF has the most random people wanting to hook up for sex. Whatever else you want to say about it, at least its lively, which is more than I can say for some of the "deader" sites I belong to.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 35
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 11:26:12 AM
If it is, I must be doing things wrong.

 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 36
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:25:24 PM
Maffers: That is very discouraging and surprising about your experience, you have a high quality profile.

I was on eharmony over a year, only got on because a friend of mine got married on the site, his wife bugged me to join. He was 47 when he met her, so it does work for a few people.

I had set the distance filters for global, so I did get a huge number of matches, not that it means much, just a computer matching.

For a while I didn't sign in for 4 months. Before that I had sent out some questions to maybe 120 matches, maybe 30 responded, I was surprised at the number of no responses. I did go out with one women 20 or so dates, it was a fun time, but I pulled the plug, it didn't seem like a LRT was going to be possible.

I had very low expectations, so I wasn't disappointed. I didn't try very hard, and assumed if I had followed up more often things would have worked out well. But your experience would lead me to think otherwise.

Earlier on I had 2 matches where I really liked the women, we were emailing, 1 was in Canada and 1 about 50 miles from my house. But they both stopped emailing and didn't give a reason. Now I think TMI on my part.

But I have to admit, in the past I have done the same thing, stop communicating without giving a reason, so I have pushed myself to at least tell someone I am emailing with that I will either be unavailable for a while or this isn't going to work out, or this is just a platonic friendship.

I don't really care for the user interface of eharmony. You can't sort matches, can't set criteria to filter those people you do get matched with, and overall it works very slowly. I let it run so long without looking at it, I had over 1000 matches, it would have taken a week just to look at the profiles. They expect you will be on everyday, which would keep it manageable. It could be they make it slow to get users more involved.

But from what you are telling me about your experience, just as well I didn't try to meet more people, it would have only resulted in ill feelings on my part. Ignorance was bliss in my case.

Good luck to you.



I have tried them all... I have been doing this for 5 years... I'm only on this site now, and my status is listed as not single and not looking. Tired of the games and the BS. Your only as good or to be in a relationship till something better comes along. Pay sites they feel obligated to see it through... Welcome to dating 21st century... Sorry to say... Nothing like a good relationship and getting the whole its not working for them. Then the reason why is because they got a message from a guy from one of those sites that suddenly seems like an upgrade. Had it happen a few times now. Then when it doesn't work out they suddenly want to recontact you saying sorry, or this or that... I got a huge showing of that on Valentines day of wanting to go out that night from a couple women that ended it shortly as such... I would rather be single then a place holder or be used...
 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 37
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:57:47 PM
If I were a guy on a piad site I would expecting more action! Why pay for it when its free on POF! LOL! I never had provocative pics up; just normal everyday life pics. Oh well at least I am getting more in sight on how the other half really thinks! I dont think real relationships are valued like they use to be. Everything is so self serving. I'd rather be alone, but if I want action I know where to go!
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 38
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 1:59:34 PM
I don't really care for the user interface of eharmony. You can't sort matches, can't set criteria to filter those people you do get matched with, and overall it works very slowly.


My experience with eharmony was horrible - I tried it about a decade ago and was matched with a bunch of guys I felt were too old for me, and with a bunch of guys who felt I weighed too much for them. When I complained to eharmony management about this, I was told that THEY knew better than I do what is right for me. Someone would have to be crazy to pay money to get set up with people you have always considered unattractive!


Then the reason why is because they got a message from a guy from one of those sites that suddenly seems like an upgrade.


That's pretty typical behavior for the men on here too. I can't count the guys that have contacted me, suddenly disappeared, then come back in a couple months for a repeat. I usually have to block them to stop the yo-yo effect.
 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 39
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:23:33 PM
I think a POF upgrade is a joke! You dont meet anyone different you just get more little perks to satisfiy your curiosity about who is viewing you! that is so narcissistic!
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 40
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 11:32:38 AM
I think your experience so far mirrors what many of us women go through. For me I would say that about 99% of the men who contact me are looking for NSA sex with strangers. No matter what I say on my profile they still contact me for sex. Case in point: I recently had an IM conversation with a guy in my area. Although my profile clearly states I am not looking for NSA sex he claimed he could, "Read between the lines" and just "knew" that is what I wanted and apparently needed from him. Oh and also he was married but didn't say that on his profile.

I've found there is really nothing that can filter these guys out. Yes the site is free...but should we really expect to be treated like free prostitutes? It's a pretty sad reflection on our society if that is the case.

I've met many guys over the years who seem decent...but unfortunately I have not found many of them attractive to me...or they are too far away, or turn out to be married etc. So the job of finding someone who I actually feel attracted to, has similar goals in terms of relationships, lives in or near my area, is compatable on many levels etc. is turning out to have odds against equal to that of winning the national lottery.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 41
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 11:38:04 AM

I just come here for the popcorn.


They give you popcorn? I have never gotten popcorn. *pouts*
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 42
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 11:49:07 AM
(yawn), so OP you have this place totally sussed out having been here for 10 WHOLE days!!

First off, to echo others, I've tried the pay sites, it's hit and miss at best. Also most of those on those sites, have a profile here. So you can choose to pay $20+ per month to meet them, or stay here for free!

Next, it's a well known fact, that there are a boatload of guys on here seeking sex only. One of the well known practices they use is hit on the newbies! IF you came here and want sex, they want to get you first. IF you came here for more, then they figure nothing ventured, nothing gained. Why not hit on you and see if you can be persuaded to meet for sex?

Plenty of Fish, means exactly what it says, all types of fish, from those seeking an LTR, to those bottom feeders as well.

The one given fact, that all of you complaining about the sex seekers fail to acknowledge, is that some of them seem attractive, or edgy, or whatever seems to float most womens boats. So either they approach you, or you them, and when they turn out to be what you don't want you complain.

Gawd forbid, the thousands of guys, who may not be choice grade A material, looking for an LTR, should get a chance. You just tell yourselves "well these type of guys are my preference" and ignore the rest.

So it's real simple, widen your search, or leave! Can't be any simpler than that.
 rkh5
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 43
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 12:06:27 PM
If you don't like sex....get off the dating site and get a pet or something...Nothing wrong with sex...!!!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 44
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 1:35:30 PM

so far ive only found that the people on pof want to date for sex. is this the case or is it just me?

Well, dating involves sex, so you're going to have expect dates to want you to participate in that activity at some point. In all likelyhood, you'll have a lot of difficulty finding anyone willing to wait until you fall in love. That being said, people do date for things other than sex. I'm engaged to a woman I met here almost 3 years ago and have been dating since I met her. However, sex came up before there was any committment in place and had she wanted to wait that long for sex, I'd have moved on. I may have wanted more than sex, but there wasn't going to more than that on the table until we had sex. If you're expecting a guarantee of anything before having sex, you are expecting too much.
 Amor_Meu
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 45
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 1:44:51 PM
OP,I don't know where you live but am going to break the news for you...NOT ALL MEMBERS ARE LOOKING FOR THE BLOODY SEX ON THIS SITE.

Yes still there are members(men and women) that using the site to make friends,chatting,discuss decent topics,members seeking advice and also to read,reply threads in the forums,did you get that?

So please don't brush all the POF land with the same paint ok,I get really fed-up about those generalized thoughts. Don't you realize that the MEMBERS THAT YOU ARE CHATTING TO are just looking for sex,so upgrade your picker then.

I will say again-the members that YOU are chatting to,also pay sites are full of scams,fake profiles than POF,the members that are moaning,so they should that going to pay sites and check them out,simple as that.

Break Dance 4 Life!!
 Isis_feline
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 46
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 1:48:45 PM
personally I would just like to get through the few email chats, swap numbers and chat and meet up for coffee (a week at most timewise) without being somewhat unsurprised at a late night text of them having a quick thomas!!

they go from potential nice guy im interested in meeting to tosser....in ever sense of the word! *sigh.......
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 47
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is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 2:02:26 PM
I’m on pof and I get laid a lot. Just got laid again this morning in case anybody was wondering. Ironically, my wife is not on pof and she gets laid as much as I do. It’s weird like that.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 48
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 2:24:52 PM
If so where do I sign up?

I'd prefer POF being only for relationships but if it's only for sex.... When in Rome do as the Romans do.


they go from potential nice guy im interested in meeting to tosser


Hey, at least they pretend to be a potentially nice guy.... It's amazing how many women on here I've talked to that are complete "tossers" right out the gate!

 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 49
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 2:27:25 PM
well seems like a lot of the chicks agree with me. i have a friend on pof who gets paid for sex! maybe we should all do that. she says why would you give it away for free when you know they are using you anyhow! good god she is so right!

are women who get paid to do it entitled to an orgasam?
 Isis_feline
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 50
is pof only for sex
Posted: 2/23/2012 2:34:07 PM

are women who get paid to do it entitled to an orgasam?


tie them to the bed and say "hey big boy, you aint going home to wifey (cause there are far too many married sleeze bag on here) till I have cum"

.......could give the job the 'ahhhhhhh' factor
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