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 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 51
Pushing for a meet right away.Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

everyone on dating sites seems to have ADHD, sees something shiny over there, and wanders away...
So true and well said.
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 52
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:30:59 AM

I'd prefer at least a few days of simple chatting first. Some flag may get raised in that time that might help prevent an awkward and pointless meeting.
Another two lines that are true and to live by.
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 53
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:33:22 AM

I've always preferred to meet the man in person within a few days---even bypassing the phone, which I feel is a complete waste of time.
Why is the phone a waste of time? It seems many favour this.
 BrookfieldGentlemanTom
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 54
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:55:45 AM
because you have to be witty and fast on your feet in a phone conversation. anything longer than silence for 5 seconds makes you think there isn't chemistry.

lots of people are better on the emails because they have time to think of a good response.
 Cholayna
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 55
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Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/2/2012 9:29:01 PM

I'm in no rush. I think the ones who would need to rush to the meeting might be impatient or desperate. Or they have five hundred options to cut through with so little time. In which case I'm probably doomed anyway. I'd prefer at least a few days of simple chatting first. Some flag may get raised in that time that might help prevent an awkward and pointless meeting.


I would have to agree with the above. Way too many times things have been said in a later message or email or even initial phone call that totally threw me off the track. Red flags, whistles blowing, sirens screaming and the strobe lights going. Soooo happy I waited to see what a few days (not many, 2-3 days) would uncover.

 341islife
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 56
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/3/2012 4:11:14 PM
talking via phone and finding out about the person is worth investing far more then further: time, energy, gas, and ect. I want somebody who wants the same as me. I don't want a time waster. Phone screening is a good avenue.
 AJ2517
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 57
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/3/2012 4:46:47 PM
The phone is so important to communicate quickly...an email or two and then talk on the phone....I think you can get a really good idea about a person to the point of actually forming a decision to meet after a couple phone calls.....A reasonably soon time to meet is best
 Looking4Chat0000
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 58
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/3/2012 5:14:19 PM
We are in the age of wanting everything right NOW.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 59
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Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/3/2012 8:56:30 PM
Within the first week or two is good. I just wasted a month getting to know someone who was too chicken to meet when I finally pushed the issue. I'm tired of wasting my time.
 yorkslass
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 60
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 6:12:33 AM
i dont see the point in chatting on line for ages when u might aswell just get out and meet straight away its a dating site afterall so get out and meet em
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 61
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 7:01:28 AM
Personally, if I feel chemistry with somebody after a couple of conversations..I push to meet, simply because the only way to know for sure if it will go farther is if you meet. The telephone-message dance is not something I am interested in doing for long.....
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 62
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 7:16:15 AM
I think I've scared a few away by giving them my schedule.. and asking them when they were free.. i heard NOTHING after that.. :))

and I've scared a few away by not being free at all for weeks..
 1best_woman
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 63
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:23:29 AM
It seems like some people think the only choices are meeting immediately or waiting a month. I would like to have a few email and/or phone conversations first before setting up a date / meeting. Successful emails / phone calls don't guarantee a successful date. But sometimes I can rule out someone after a few emails / phone calls. Thus I wouldn't have to spend any time or money on a date that clearly won't work out. Even if it just was a quick coffee date, I would still have to spend time and money ( gas ) driving to and from the location of the date.

Anywhere from 3-4 days to 2 weeks would be a reasonable time period to set up a date. Sometimes it could take longer than that because of schedules. One person could be on vacation or a business trip for up to 2 weeks.
 outdoorlover77
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 64
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:27:39 AM
I would rather meet sooner than later so if there is no spark i can rule them out and move on. You can message someone for weeks and look good on paper but there may be no chemistry in real life. That's what a DATE is for to find out about someone. If you ask 100 questions online for one it gets BORING because i feel like wtf is this going anywhere? and two you may rule them out based on what looks good or bad on paper. WTF ever happened to dating?
Its a shame that there is thousands of people online looking for love and rather than date they prefer to get your whole life story then decide whether to date or not. Seems a little azz backwards to me. Ladies if you give a guy your # at a bar would you expect a phone call and if it goes well then a date? or 50 phone calls then decide not to date? Well if you are attracted physically to him, which i assume is why you gave the #, then you would say a call then a date? So why not the need to meet to see if there is attraction before wasting countless hours messaging someone you probably won't meet anyways???
 dreamfire
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 65
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Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:40:09 AM
@ CinnamonGirl- This is exactly how I go about it, as well. One message at a time. Wait a few days for a reply, then move on to the next if nothing happens. I can multi-task, professionally, like nobody's business, yet, in the dating world I just can't juggle that fast.

******

I actually had, in the first version of my profile, that I didn't want a 'vetting queen.' Meeting within a week would be acceptable, within a few days would be better.

Why wait? "Pushing," to me, indicates some kind of apprehension or fear. How long does it take before one feels comfortable? Why put off til tomorrow what you could have done yesterday?
 Looking4Chat0000
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 66
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 1:00:19 PM
Maybe its just how I feel but seems to me the person is very needy when they push without even seeing if they can get along over the phone first. Although people can be different over the phone. I have mixed feelings about all this. Meeting first and getting that out of the way does save a lot of time but I usually get a good or bad feeling about someone after a couple of phone calls first.

But you are never going to know that person right away no matter how you go about it. I guess if someone really interests me then I will meet after a couple of phone calls...so I can hear his voice and get an idea of his personality
 Arcova
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 67
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Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 1:21:32 PM
I'm with you. I get a good feel after a couple of moderate conversations. Too much talk for too long can turn in to pillow talk and u stop getting to know the person after that. A meet quickly after a couple of conversations works for me. My curiosity is piqued, there is some healthy sexual tension there. At that point I'm ready for the meet. I want verify if the chemistry is there or not and put it to an end quickly or open myself up a little more, shut down my profile and focus on enjoying the process with a particular person.

The impression I get over the phone is usually spot on and I am learning to place a high respect on my perception.

I do have and an issue and welcome feedback.
How do I put a quick and effective end to process if I know it not a good match?
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 68
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 2:52:15 PM
Some know from experience that they have no problems attracting the opposite gender when we meet in person. So..for those types, it makes sense to take the time to get to know someone a bit first to avoid unwanted klingons and stalkers who might end up not being your cup of tea after knowing them better anyways jus saying...
 RichL1852
Joined: 11/8/2010
Msg: 69
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Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/4/2012 10:59:23 PM
I agree , internet dating is not the same as meeting someone in person like in a supermarket or a bar where you get the opportunity to get a true impression. I am much more interested in meeting in person . Time is precious why talk to someone for 3 or 4 times and then find out the is NO CHEMISTRY.
 Tankeryanker56
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 70
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:02:13 AM
My "First meet place" is 5 min from my house. Why would I wait to meet them? If someone said meet me today, then no I would not just jump, but naw, no point in waiting.
 therdtymesachrm
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 71
Pushing and for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:08:00 AM
All the guys that I met after one or two emails or a short phone conversation, turned out to be not the right one... I had one awful let's get coffee meet with a guy that never made it past the parking lot..lol.

The guy that it did work out with was the one where we took longer to meet. We started with emails (long ones) and then went to the phone where our conversations lasted anywhere from 2-4 hours a night. We were able to share openly with each other, without the awkwardness of having everyone around us listening to our conversation..When we were finally able to meet in person(scheduling conflicts for us both) after almost three weeks, we knew there was already a connection, we were completely comfortable being together and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Of course some things did help, we were both honest with our descriptions and sent recent pictures, thus no surprises. I know most people think it's a waste to spend time getting to know someone before you meet them, but in my experience and for me, that worked better. I'm very happy and now only a POF user for the forums!!
 Jackien1069
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 72
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:10:33 AM
I have been on a couple of dates from this were we have txt and phoned for about a week or so. loads of chemistry with chat etc but think we built it up to more than what it was so I think meeting sooner and less chat lessens the disappointment when you do meet and theres not as much chemistry as you thought.
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 73
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:24:16 AM
echoing what others have said: I'd much rather meet in person asap than try to "get to know" someone over the phone or internet for weeks on end .... only to find out that when we finally do meet, there ain't a goddang thing close to the "chemistry" we *thought* we had via an electronic gadget.


 341islife
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 74
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/6/2012 6:54:45 PM
i hate the texting crap. i won't send e-mails, pictures, BLAH BLAH BLAH
I am not an entertainment gig for this man or part of his date list. if the man
wants to meet me and i want to meet him we will go in on it as two adults on
an adult level.
i also can't see myself having to ask if he is dating other women or going to
be monogamous. if i have to feel insecure or unsure about a man then he isn't
making me feel very special in his life. why would i want a man who thinks the
the grass is greener or wants to pound on another woman's lawn?
i don't push to meet right away BUT then again i don't waste my time. i am not
a game player and want a man who has testicles not ovaries. I want a man who
knows how to appreciate a good woman when he meets one.
 lisaaka17
Joined: 4/9/2011
Msg: 75
Pushing for a meet right away.
Posted: 3/9/2012 2:37:01 AM
Because they r stupid. If they r pushing a meeting its because they r looking to get LUCKY and nothing else so they dont want to waist their time.
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