|
|
|
|
|
| | Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) |
I just found my genuine interest and approach in women has been lacking the results I feel it warrants. I target 19-25 age group, all of whom seem to be interested in just the same old things: snow boarding, gym, friends and being "too busy to date" .. all of which are so scared of committment and scorned by their past that they run away front intensity and are unwilling to recepricate basic things like texting or attention given the girls feel like they dont have to show any interest, even after they freely given away their number and said they would have no problem texting/meeting up..
Seems an easy fix to me..target an older age group. What does a 28 year old man want with 19 year old..okay stupid question, doesn't need an answer. Perhaps you should target closer to your own age, those who are looking for what you are. Might be a lot more productive use of your time... | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:59:07 AM | There is a time and place for intensity with me. Be that way all the time and you'll freak me out. To never be is also a problem. Once I am in a relationship a while - and I do mean a while, I will stand my ground and participate in it - before that, I'll probably sidestep it and tell you to lighten up.
I'm not the overly emotional affectionate romantic type, so I'm not on a mission to find it in someone else.
Intense men on here? Blech. There's no need for it before you actually know someone a little first. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 11:19:16 AM | I target 19-25 age group, all of whom seem to be interested in just the same old things: snow boarding, gym, friends and being "too busy to date"
Maybe you should try an older woman... | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 11:44:56 AM |
I target 19-25 age group, all of whom seem to be interested in just the same old things: snow boarding, gym, friends and being "too busy to date" .. all of which are so scared of commitment and scorned by their past that they run away front intensity and are unwilling to recipricate basic things like texting or attention given the girls feel like they don't have to show any interest, even after they freely given away their number and said they would have no problem texting/meeting up..
There in lies your problem..........women at 19-25(and men too) DO NOT know what they want out of life or a relationship. It's usually all just about sex. Also OP, you do come across as a bit self absorbed.............. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 12:42:31 PM |
I'm not the overly emotional affectionate romantic type, so I'm not on a mission to find it in someone else.
This.
There are so many ways intensity can be displayed, that I am starting to wonder what OP means by "intensity" in men. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 12:57:55 PM | Look, I had a chance to date hundreds of women from POF over the past years I been using this site and my goal has always been and remains the same: to isolate and identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background..I have refined my approaches over the past few years to nearly perfect..yet..
My main concern is getting past the number and into the date..I only end up meeting up with maybe 1 out of every 5 girls who give me their number..I find a lot of women un-responsive and just terrible communicators, thus I pose the question "are women too laid back these days and can't handle intensity"..
Or do they feel what is "normal" to me is "intense to them"..me and my past gfs always texted good morning/good night, called each other baby names, texted during the day, etc..anyways so when I apply the same desire and interest to women who seem so eager and happy to give me their number after a few interactions via POF I get none of the same treatment back.. For example I'd text "good morning" or "how is your day?" And get no response for more than a day or more..to me, being such a communicative guy that is so rude and unacceptable..I take my time to text and show interest, why did she give me her number if she can't even reply to my text in normal fashion?
So I get annoyed call them out and say "hey I texted you a few times why didn't you reply" the girls of course reply right away with "wow you too much or you are too intense" oh really? You kidding me right? Showing attention and being nice is "too much "?
Since when is this a game of push and pull? Of backing away and then going back..why play games I thought we are all here to date and find real people.. Explain.. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 1:12:52 PM | "So I get annoyed call them out and say "hey I texted you a few times why didn't you reply" the girls of course reply right away with "wow you too much or you are too intense" oh really? You kidding me right? Showing attention and being nice is "too much "?"
I read this to mean you are a drama king...................which most people don't find attractive. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 1:22:22 PM |
Or do they feel what is "normal" to me is "intense to them"..me and my past gfs always texted good morning/good night, called each other baby names, texted during the day, etc..anyways so when I apply the same desire and interest to women who seem so eager and happy to give me their number after a few interactions via POF I get none of the same treatment back.. For example I'd text "good morning" or "how is your day?" And get no response for more than a day or more..to me, being such a communicative guy that is so rude and unacceptable..I take my time to text and show interest, why did she give me her number if she can't even reply to my text in normal fashion?
So I get annoyed call them out and say "hey I texted you a few times why didn't you reply" the girls of course reply right away with "wow you too much or you are too intense" oh really? You kidding me right? Showing attention and being nice is "too much "?
This stuff is all great when you're months into a relationship. In the first couple weeks - yeah WAY over the top. If I'm getting texts or calls daily, I'm going to feel pushed. Pet names? Not sure I like those ever, but in the first couple weeks I'll be pretty turned off by it. Also, texting (to me) is a communication with no strings or time tables. It's always ongoing and shouldn't be something people have to stop and respond to immediately. I'm the same way about e-mail when I'm not at work. So someone who's bent over how long it takes me to respond will strike me as very intense and too involved...and yep, I'll tell them to back off.
As others here have said, a lot of women 19-25 are looking to have fun, stay casual, get school, their careers and life in order and don't see settling down as part of the picture, as they may not want to have to make time for someone else ongoing at that stage of life. Nor should they. You may have all your goals in place at this point so that you're ready for a relationship but many aren't where you're at yet.
Either look at older women, or relax and stop worrying about pairing off until you're in your 30s like everyone else your age. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 1:53:08 PM |
...girls who give me their number....I find a lot of women un-responsive and just terrible communicators, thus I pose the question "are women too laid back these days and can't handle intensity".. Here's a thought.. often "girls" tend to pass their number around without as much thought involved in it than the "over 25's". Kinda like wanting to have 200+ 'friends' on facebook, ha.
Apparently you don't interest them enough, after you do a text to them, for them to want to text back.
You claim it's your "itensity".. and yep, I'd bet that is what it is. Kind of a creep factor there.
I thought we are all here to date and find real people.. Explain.. Well, not all are.. but those who are, you've got to be someone they WANT to date.. and sorry but I guess you aren't.
Look, I had a chance to date hundreds of women from POF over the past years I been using this site and my goal has always been and remains the same: to isolate and identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background..I have refined my approaches over the past few years to nearly perfect..yet.. HUGE 'yet' there .. you're running into problems.. as we can see from this thread and the other you started.
Seems it's not working for you.
And I can guess why not. It's this:
identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background That's really a laugh! Any woman, any age, any culture or background? 
Wow.
You think we can all be lumped together.. under the heading "women to conquer by my way".
THAT thought in your head is what is coming across to the 'girls' you're trying to ummmm 'date'.
They are much more brighter than you.. they can spot a controlling man easily and know to not get involved. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 2:30:21 PM | "Look, I had a chance to date hundreds of women from POF over the past years I been using this site and my goal has always been and remains the same: to isolate and identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background..I have refined my approaches over the past few years to nearly perfect..yet.."
This is one of the single most de-humanizing statements I've ever read.
We are not special or unique in any way shape or fashion to you, you are just looking for the secret phrase or magic button that will turn each and every one of us into a faceless/nameless glory hole... now that is simply lovely 
AM I INTENSE ENOUGH FOR YA YET BUDDY!?!?!???!???! | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 2:55:37 PM | I think it depends on when the intensity occurs. On a first date, if you propose marriage for example, it's a little much. If after a few dates and some good chemistry things become more intense, the HALLELUJAH!!!!
Keep in mind this is just my take, and I am very very marriage/family oriented. 
I am pretty open minded and laid back, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate intensity. I think it's exciting, and it lets me know the guy is truly interested. I actually guage how intense to be with a man, off his intensity towards me.
If you blow me off, I'll take things more slowly and be more casual with you. If everytime we communicate it's a good conversation, and not just on word/letter responses, I'll be more likely to open up. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 4:14:03 PM | Well, OP, messages 32 through 35 have given you some great feedback, with which I concur.
This statement of yours struck me, as others mentioned:
Look, I had a chance to date hundreds of women from POF over the past years I been using this site and my goal has always been and remains the same: to isolate and identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background..I have refined my approaches over the past few years to nearly perfect..yet..
REALLY?!
These statements of yours reek of a would-be player who wouldn't/couldn't really care about any particular female - anyone will do! And the women can sense it.
My main concern is getting past the number and into the date..I only end up meeting up with maybe 1 out of every 5 girls who give me their number..I find a lot of women un-responsive and just terrible communicators
If this outcome is so common for you, then look at the common denominator(s):
1. You are not choosing to contact women with intelligent, articulate profiles,
and/or
2. YOU are a boring or "just terrible" communicator.
For example I'd text "good morning" or "how is your day?" And get no response for more than a day or more..to me, being such a communicative guy that is so rude and unacceptable..I take my time to text and show interest, why did she give me her number if she can't even reply to my text in normal fashion?
Texting is boring, especially when the texts are inane drivel like that. ANYONE can text that to anyone else and it means absolutely nothing - it doesn't even mean that you "care". That's not showing interest, it's being lazy and expecting her to do all the work.
Communication is NOT just about how many times you contact someone. It's about the timing of reaching out, the methods/media you use to communicate, the words that you use and how you use them. Texting is even worse for "tone of voice" than emailing. At least in an email or chat, one can elaborate a bit more. If people can misunderstand one another when talking face to face, how much more difficult is it to establish great communication when doing by remote text?
So I get annoyed call them out and say "hey I texted you a few times why didn't you reply"
Got news for ya, buddy. Many workplaces discourage or do not allow the use of personal cell phones during work hours. Work is more important than you are.
How do I feel about an intense guy? I like one who knows when his intensity is appropriate. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 5:06:38 PM | How do I feel about an intense guy and what does intensity mean to me?
It means "high maintenance" to me. In my experience, the more intense guys tend to be steamrollers, emotionally needy, and they tend to burn bright and then burn out, instant gratification addicts, need lots of stimulation and attention. They also tend to be "all about the relationship and US" which translated into being all about their conception of what WE should be and it rarely left any room for me to be myself (except in relation to him). Yeah... I'm not a big fan of "intense guys" as relationship material. For fun and going out and doing things while looking for Mr. Right? Sure. I'm guessing that "intense guys" are pretty much like "intense women." Some love it, some don't.
You conclude that many of these ladies are too busy, scared, cautious- things like that. No, not necessarily. They just might be patient, discerning and choosing men with other types of personalities. That's good. People should match up with people that attract them. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 5:25:09 PM | "Texting is boring, especially when the texts are inane drivel like that. ANYONE can text that to anyone else and it means absolutely nothing - it doesn't even mean that you "care". That's not showing interest, it's being lazy and expecting her to do all the work."
High maintenance is what you are screaming out to these women.
"You conclude that many of these ladies are too busy, scared, cautious- things like that."
They are just don't interested in what you are offering. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 5:32:24 PM | NO, no no.. first of all i am a "relationship" guy I been in relationships for 8 of the past 10 years.. I feel like the void needs to be filled and i try to treat each woman i get a number of really well right away as if she was my gf.. Id love for that to happen back..
Why is it a "creep factor" to treat someone super well and text them a lot right off the bat? Personally its what i want from a girl back.. I dont see clingy or needy in a girl as a bad thing in fact Id like that.. Unfortunately as the topic of this thread states, girls these days are not intense they are way too passive, laid back and easy going.. That is a red flag, not a good thing..
How can you possibly state that being really into the girl early is bad? How is that creepy? NO its the opposite, the girl should be like "wow this guy really likes me, I feel happy that someone is into me, I want to give him attention back" Girls are the ones who should be really motivated and want to call the guy and text.. Why is it that when I text i always get the same response " oh too much, oh too intense, coming on too strong etc"
Too strong? No its he girls who are too weak.. Give me a break, why dont they try harder instead of me stepping down and not carrying as much?
High maintenance? What is wrong with that? I would love that, and I expect the same back.. I am a top notch guy, a career, school, good family, background, good looking.. I offer what many women here "claim to really want" so if you want the best you better show me attention and give me what i want.. Its unreal that women claim to want all these things and when a guy is presented to them at a cost of attention/communication they would rather let him go than be with him?
Makes no sense what about celebraties, what about shows like Bachelor.. I see women doing exactly what the man wants.. I am pretty much at that status, I just cant seem to convey that fact effectively to women not because I am a poor communicator is because women just cant believe i am that amazing they think its a trick of some sort. Unreal. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:00:08 PM |
...i try to treat each woman i get a number of really well right away as if she was my gf..... Why is it a "creep factor" to treat someone super well and text them a lot right off the bat?......How can you possibly state that being really into the girl early is bad? How is that creepy?
Because you don't KNOW her yet!
She has only just given you her number!
She doesn't know YOU either.
And here you are texing a lot right off the bat, trying to treat her like she's your girfriend right after you get her number.
Yep, creep factor. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:04:05 PM |
what about celebraties, what about shows like Bachelor.. I see women doing exactly what the man wants.. I am pretty much at that status...
That's tv! That's not real! They're playing for the cameras.
They're all in it for the notoriety and/or money. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:09:52 PM | "Why is it a "creep factor" to treat someone super well and text them a lot right off the bat? Personally its what i want from a girl back.. I dont see clingy or needy in a girl as a bad thing in fact Id like that.. "
Please get some help for you co dependency issues.
"How can you possibly state that being really into the girl early is bad? How is that creepy? NO its the opposite, the girl should be like "wow this guy really likes me, I feel happy that someone is into me, I want to give him attention back" Girls are the ones who should be really motivated and want to call the guy and text.."
That states co dependency. It also says that you pretty much want any female, who will like you back. That is dysfunctional. Functioning health people don't just want just anyone who will like them back.
"Too strong? No its he girls who are too weak.. Give me a break, why dont they try harder instead of me stepping down and not carrying as much?"
Imo you aren't strong at all. You are just looking to jump into your next bad relationship.
"High maintenance? What is wrong with that? I would love that, and I expect the same back.."
Sounds like you are burning yourself out, and burning out quickly any women you come in contact with.
"Makes no sense what about celebraties, what about shows like Bachelor.. I see women doing exactly what the man wants.. I am pretty much at that status, I just cant seem to convey that fact effectively to women not because I am a poor communicator is because women just cant believe i am that amazing they think its a trick of some sort. Unreal."
Yes, you are coming across as unreal.
ps The Bachelor is reality TV. Not to be confused with real life. Have looked that just how many of the Bachelor relationship actually last.
You make yourself sound like you have a lot of growing up to do. Also sounds like you will keep banging your head to forcing what you think is reality, until you hurt so much you wise up. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:46:18 PM | Hmmm...well, since you asked for definitions of "intensity", OP...I'd say yours is very different than mine. Intensity IMO is something that is only felt when two people feel a mutual attraction. It can't be forced, it can't be planned. It can't always be described properly, either.
What you claim is "intensity", from what I can gather, is...well, overbearing, pushy and really, very clingy and needy.
Look, I had a chance to date hundreds of women from POF over the past years I been using this site and my goal has always been and remains the same: to isolate and identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background..I have refined my approaches over the past few years to nearly perfect..yet..
If your approaches were so refined to "nearly perfect" then you wouldn't have started this thread, no? Sometimes one will achieve greater results if one gets out of one's own way, or stops impeding oneself.
My main concern is getting past the number and into the date..I only end up meeting up with maybe 1 out of every 5 girls who give me their number..I find a lot of women un-responsive and just terrible communicators, thus I pose the question "are women too laid back these days and can't handle intensity"..
Could be, or perhaps they simply lose interest after the communication has progressed from email to phone.
Or do they feel what is "normal" to me is "intense to them"..me and my past gfs always texted good morning/good night, called each other baby names, texted during the day, etc..anyways so when I apply the same desire and interest to women who seem so eager and happy to give me their number after a few interactions via POF I get none of the same treatment back..
Do you not see the difference? Between a bona fide girlfriend and a relative stranger on POF? Why would you call a relative stranger by a baby name, or expect the same in return, if you haven't met them yet, or only met them once?
(As an aside, using the term baby name instead of pet name...you aren't a baby-talker, are you? If so, stop that immediately...for most women, that's a huge turnoff).
For example I'd text "good morning" or "how is your day?" And get no response for more than a day or more..to me, being such a communicative guy that is so rude and unacceptable..I take my time to text and show interest, why did she give me her number if she can't even reply to my text in normal fashion?
You could text me most of the day if you wanted, OP...but my office is a dead zone so until I leave the building, I won't get the text. Nor do I carry my phone with me everywhere. The main issue seems to be, you are making it all about YOU. Why would anyone get so het up because a text message wasn't replied to immediately anyway? Perhaps the women you are texting actually have a life, and not a phone strapped to their hip?
So I get annoyed call them out and say "hey I texted you a few times why didn't you reply" the girls of course reply right away with "wow you too much or you are too intense" oh really? You kidding me right? Showing attention and being nice is "too much "?
Can you not see it yet? You are creating your own problems. If the woman doesn't reply to your first text, why keep texting?
Since when is this a game of push and pull? Of backing away and then going back..why play games I thought we are all here to date and find real people.. Explain..
Well, simple explanation is, you are angry because you aren't achieving the results you desire, but you're not really willing to look at your own contribution to the failed equation in any way. From what you've stated, you've had many women tell you that your approach isn't working, yet you aren't willing to accept that for whatever reason.
My take is, you are trying to force instant-relationships with people who are basically strangers. You've stated that you've been in relationships for 8 years of the last decade. It sounds to me like you don't enjoy your own company, if you feel the constant need to be a couple.
There is nothing wrong with meeting a woman and wanting to show her that she is your only sexual/relationship interest at that moment. But you will never be able to force-feed her into relationship mode "just because".
And yes, if you're going to keep trying the same spiel on every woman that you meet, then many are going to pick up on the fact that it's simply that, a spiel. If you aren't genuine, then it's all simply words. And surely every woman you date isn't "the one", so why start even before meeting them by declaring them so?
Doing so won't make a woman feel special. It will more likely make her feel like she's taken a ticket and told to take seat as number A1032. JMO. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:53:24 PM | This is the single most worrisome thing about your posts: you comfortably and repeatedly state what women should want and be and do. Auto-fail.
NO ONE wants someone who has decided what they should be. No, let me restate that. Healthy strong vibrant people do not want to be with a partner who THINKS that he or she knows what they should be, want, do.
The truly confident and successful are not controlling and do not pigeonhole others. They are confident and intelligent enough to enjoy and even relish others’ individuality and are curious and excited by how someone shatters their preconceptions and the limits of their own imagination and experiences. Now THAT is love. In my opinion. | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 8:34:21 PM | " Texting is boring, especially when the texts are inane drivel like that. ANYONE can text that to anyone else and it means absolutely nothing - it doesn't even mean that you "care". That's not showing interest, it's being lazy and expecting her to do all the work.
Communication is NOT just about how many times you contact someone. It's about the timing of reaching out, the methods/media you use to communicate, the words that you use and how you use them. Texting is even worse for "tone of voice" than emailing. At least in an email or chat, one can elaborate a bit more. If people can misunderstand one another when talking face to face, how much more difficult is it to establish great communication when doing by remote text?"
Exactly. Where is the emotional connection/depth in texting? A voice is always more meaningful to me. When it comes to technology, sometimes less is more.
" Look, I had a chance to date hundreds of women from POF over the past years I been using this site and my goal has always been and remains the same: to isolate and identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background..I have refined my approaches over the past few years to nearly perfect..yet.."
" NO, no no.. first of all i am a "relationship" guy I been in relationships for 8 of the past 10 years."
Where did you find the time for the hundreds you claim to have over the years here? Must not be very many second dates young James Bond (tux in profile picture). I prefer less women, but more success. No magic formula as each woman is unique in her own special way. No one size fits all approach.
Something here just doesn't add up. A little exaggeration young Walter Mitty? | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:04:23 PM | "I am originally from Europe, but called Vancouver home for the past 17 years..."
And then he has had long term relationships for 8 of the last 10 years? AND Hundred of women???
Dude, you profile shows you as 28... which means you did most of your globetrotting in a booster seat, and all of your experience is so very green it is truly funny.
You remind me of the stoner girl who is 22 who looks at you all amazed and says "hey I have a great idea, why don't legalize pot?" and then gives like 80 reasons why it would be a good idea and acts like nobody has ever had that thought before.
Grow up a bit. Although by now you should be past this sort of mindset of seeing women as a social experiment. | |
|
| |
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/4/2012 5:26:16 AM | my goal has always been and remains the same: to isolate and identify a sure bet approach that will work any woman of any age, culture or background... I have refined my approaches over the past few years to nearly perfect...
Then you have deluded yourself, and no answer will ever be satisfactory because you aren't willing to see things beyond your own version of warped reality.
My main concern is getting past the number and into the date..I only end up meeting up with maybe 1 out of every 5 girls who give me their number..
The irony of the thing is that if you gave up your self-absorbed fixation on quantifying everything, it would be easy for you to see the more obvious answer to your problem which is that your “sure bet approach” to women is only 20% successful at best. Hilarious.
I am a top notch guy
According to who?? | |
|
| Ladies: How do you feel about an intense guy?
Posted: 3/5/2012 4:19:05 AM | | I love intensity. Im very intense and I think I feed off of it a bit too much. As a matter of fact, I find it difficult to communicate or relate to someone who is NOT intense like me. My ex was extremely intense and it was a huge turn on...Ignore those walking dead, non intense people..they are nothing more than living zombies | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
