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 Ingemouse
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 26
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great conversations...a thing of the past?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Well! That was beautifully wordy and musical, songandstory. Bravo!
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 12:51:21 AM
You are entirely welcome, Ingemouse.

long live articualtion, gabfests, and great yaks.
Incidentally, some of my favorite storytellers and conversationalists are straight blue collar to the core, not necessarily formally educated, but still in possesson of he gift fo language.
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 12:52:30 AM
along with that accidental "t".............
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 29
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 7:08:00 AM
i was just wondering if anyone else is having trouble finding an intelligent man to have a great conversation with? so many of them say they are looking for that and then they can hardly spell at all on the messages or the emails, let alone carry any kind of intelligence into an ordinary conversation. or is that expecting too much from these bottom feeders that seem to be in an over abundance here on this site? I apologize if I sound cruel but then again some of the guys are down right mean, so it is what it is and you just can not fix stupid. good luck to all trolling and may you be extra careful for what you wish and fish for.


One of my pet peeves is not capitalizing the first word in a sentence...
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 30
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 11:01:44 AM

Well! That was beautifully wordy and musical, songandstory. Bravo!


...I agree. Loved your post as well. It drew me in. I found myself comparing it to an excerpt from a good book. Thank -you for sharing your thoughts.

Of course I couldn't help but take a sneak peek at your profile. I wasn't surprised at how "well written" it was and well thought out. Another great read. * smiles*

There's much to be said for great conversation (pun intended). Last year I met a guy through this site and we hit it off immediately (not romantically) and became great friends. Friends are good too....anyhow, the first couple of times we went out we closed the restaurant on both occasions. When we are together it feels like there is never enough time to say all that we want to say. I love that.

...mae
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 11:23:59 AM
"When we are together it feels like there is never enough time to say all that we want to say. I love that." [end quote]

Thank you, Mae.
I cheat a little bit - I'm a writer, and come from a writer's background (on my father's side.) My mother's side donated a silver tongue and the glory of stories....

I don't think I could achieve romantic compatibility without the art of conversation playing a major role. Closing down clubs and restaurants is a favorite pastime.
Interestingly - even though these are not always of the romantically consumated kind - do they not still keep our wits sharp?
When still a wild boy, my mother gave me a rare word of advice one time: to not learn about women from men...(too much bias of the wrong sort) but rather, from women themselves.
I followed that advice, and have lived to never regret it.
 Balsamica
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 32
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 12:00:48 PM
Really good dialogue is better than sex, it's great when there is a free flow of dialogue and talk and communication............I love it.

I can't say if they are a thing of the past but I do think that original thinking is sliding....
 Ingemouse
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 33
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 1:45:46 PM
Well , maybe we baby boomers need to double down on teaching our kids and grandkids the value of original thinking. I do believe that a lack of playing imagination games without the aid of electronic devices has been a problem in young children. I remember endless hours playing outside with the neighborhood kids, games that ranged from , war/nurse, cowboy/ indians, fairies in the neighborhood wooded lot, so many more. I refuse to buy electronic toys for my grandchildren, they get the simple toys that require imagination and games that make them use their brains. I'm not implying that here aren't some very good computer games out there, but I prefer they get up move, run, skip, instead of being planted in front of a device.

Agree that good conversation trumps some things at times, but the language of love will always have a place, sometimes words aren't needed, sometimes words make the moment, conversely sometimes words kill a moment, alas.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 34
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/4/2012 3:32:49 PM

One huge clue as to whether your date will be a good conversationalist is if his profile is well thought out and somewhat wordy.


I resemble that remark.


It's the first thin I check when I look at someone's profile,


"thin"? .......'splain yourself, Lucy.

 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 35
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 9:16:58 AM
Well, I don't think so. Though when you're meeting online , there are far too many that can't seem to express themselves - much less spell, or form whole sentences .

Though I know too, that some people are simply not good with the written word - which is why I like to move to a phone chat relatively soon .

But then - if they also really struggle to hold up their end of the conversation on the phone , I'll admit a certain reluctance to meet them.

And I know I may have lost out on a couple good ones that way ...

Bottom line is, I am entirely turned on by good writing ! It opens doors to the world !
 stargazin53
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 36
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 9:51:34 AM
Good conversation is a "celebration" in itself and I've found that I bump into them in the most surprising places. For me, it's about being open to people, all kinds of people-- and don't we all have delicious stories to tell? I'm not concerned about your grammar, your spelling, your work....I want to hear about who you are, what you've seen, what inspires you, what your greatest beliefs are, what makes your heart sing, what tries your patience and best of all.........how you find your fun! If you can "see" people, you can see the stories just waiting to be told. Folks just need to look....there truly is so much to learn from each other.
 weathervanes
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 37
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 10:01:39 AM
I have to laugh at the people who love to rush to judgement either in their essay or on the forums and label someone a "loser", then spell it with two o's.....how funny!!.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 38
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 10:02:19 AM
Though I know too, that some people are simply not good with the written word - which is why I like to move to a phone chat relatively soon .


So true. I went on a meet with a guy who was relatively new to the site and as well, he was not at all comfortable with the computer. So the few e-mails we exchanged were short and to the point. But when we met, we talked for hours. I spent a lot of time with him over a six month period but in my heart I knew he was not ready for any type of relationship. (I think I mentioned this in one of my previous posts)
He needed time to sort things out.
But in saying that I'm glad I didn't base my decision on meeting him due to his lack of good communication skills through e-mails, I went with my natural instincts. Btw, his spelling was awful too...but then, I too have to watch my spelling and my grammer as well...lol

I gave another fellow the benefit of the doubt as well and agreed to meet even though e-mails were lacking content and our one and only phone conversation was a struggle. But he did tell me he was very shy, so I kept that in mind. I thought he would do better on a one to one.
He did not...lol It was actually painful. I really tried to keep the conversation interesting and lively. But it was sooo difficult. It was a one- sided conversation, and the long silent lapses were deafening.

A couple of my friends have suggested that maybe I'm not giving some of them enough of a chance. In his case I think I did.

...mae

Stargazin...I like your attitude :)
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 39
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 1:44:30 PM
Some people are unaware that they are not great conversationalists. Those people like to talk to me. I do not like to listen, but they think I do.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 40
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 3:28:19 PM
I think people need to understand that depending on what you do for a living or in most cases..what you are naturally oriented to...can makes conversation easy.

I am a people person and I have been in Sales/Management or Customer Service; I am trained to put people at ease and have them confide in me. A man who might work in engineering or accounting, works with things other than people so for him to open up to a stranger is going to be a very difficult process for him. To be honest online dating is a difficult process for me with over 30 years of people experience!

Some people have difficulty spelling, it isn't that they are stupid it just not their thing...so to judge someone as *less based on these types of things is more revealing about who you are as a person.

Intelligence isn't determined by the ability to spell or carry on a conversation. Nor is being a great person, trustworthy, honest and all the other things we each hope to find in another person.

Ignorance is a completely different matter! Especially getting cheesed off about something and making a thread as a way to make yourself feel better at the expense of others!
 stargazin53
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 41
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 3:36:13 PM
Gwendolyn ---you crack me up. Makes me remember those moments when I couldn't "see"....and, oops, couldn't find the dern story. LOL, ah well.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 42
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 3:39:51 PM

giggles10000:
Ignorance is a completely different matter! Especially getting cheesed off about something and making a thread as a way to make yourself feel better at the expense of others!


And there are people on this board that like to rub everyone's nose in it, I guess it makes them feel superior.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 43
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 3:57:59 PM

i was just wondering if anyone else is having trouble finding an intelligent man


Not at all: quite the contrary, the vast majority of men (and women) on POF with whom I have had the pleasure of connecting are very intelligent indeed. The only trouble on my end is finding a physically fit man who shares my age decade, my interests in outdoor activities, and an interest in women his decade!


to have a great conversation with?
]
It takes two to tango and two to talk. A "conversation" is as "great" as the conversationalists' compatibility.


so many of them say they are looking for that and then they can hardly spell at all on the messages or the emails,

Punctilious spelling has very little impact upon two (assuming you're mostly referring to two people connecting on this site) persons' potential to engage in a "great conversation"


let alone carry any kind of intelligence into an ordinary conversation

?????????????????


or is that expecting too much from these bottom feeders that seem to be in an over abundance here on this site?


There are many kinds of "intelligent" behavior," including "socially and emotionally" intelligent behavior. Within the context of this post, the phrase "bottom feeders" does justice to neither.


I apologize if I sound cruel but then again some of the guys are down right mean, so it is what it is

??????? I'm confused: are you suggesting that sounding cruel is justifiable in light of the down right mean behavior of some guys? Or that sounding cruel is justifiable in light of the irrepable stupidity of some of this site's bottom feeders?
Either interpretation does not bespeak of a socially emotionally intelligent individual.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 44
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 5:47:10 PM
On a dating site?? Looking in the wrong place I would suggest!!!!. All they want to do is talk sex in my experience, within the first few sentences. You know where they minds are and they probably have hard ons from looking at porn and contact a likely looking woman on here. They may say they are intelligent and social and so on on their profiles but men who are all that don't have to be here at the end of the day, let's face it.

I met a gorgeous man recently but all he did was talk about sex and turn every conversation back to it, and didn't want to talk much about his personal life or any other subject at all and so I lost interest although I fanced him like crazy. He is still looking for a woman and no wonder.

If they can't spell or use proper grammar I dont bother to even accept the request. I like an educated man and he has to be intelligent and articulate or else I am gone. Just the way it is.

This site is known for its poor quality men I am afraid. You are not being cruel, just real. I dont bother and just come on the forums.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 45
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 5:48:32 PM
Mae

You have a man that doesn't want sex from you, just friendship. How rare is that, or is he hoping for it eventually. Is he gay?? They make great friends.
 out_of_touch
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 46
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 6:24:29 PM
I beleive a lot of conversation is over rated. Sure I want to talk when there is something to say but just because we don't talk all the time doesn't mean I wouldn't love you.

I can actually listen to silence and understand it. (I know guys, you think I'm full of xxit)

PLUS, ideal matches are not always evenly matched conversationalists.. most people who like to talk alot enjoy the sound of their own voice, despise silence, or think they know it all and are obliged to share with us all.

I do talk, and may want to converse, but dang it.. how many times can you say the same thing in a different way?
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 47
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 6:42:51 PM

I can actually listen to silence and understand it. (I know guys, you think I'm full of xxit)


Actually, I did the same thing once in the middle of Death Valley. Sitting there in the great outdoors, I strained, but could not hear a sound......there were no people around, no cars, no planes, no birds, no insects, no trees to rustle, no wind at all.......just total silence in a wide open space......

 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 48
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 6:47:13 PM
as a previous poster said some men cant seem to talk about anything other then sex..


its like as soon as you say hello back to them they jump out with random crap no wonder more women are getting scared off some men cant even make it past hello with out acting like they have Tourette's syndrome an have just seen thier first real picture of a boob or wow a woman said hello back to them..


dam where is the tazer at when you need it?..atleast try to make some real conversation an maybe you could make it to phone calls or low an behold a real first meet..


too many guys are shooting themselves in the foot before the race has even started by scaring off everybody or worse yet have the personality of a june bug like women are just bright shiny lights an as soon as they see 1 they keep flying into the glass window trying to get to it regardless of being warned or trying to swat them away..

next time im just going to ask hey do you have Tourette's syndrome? or are you just anti social are you suppose to be on some medication or what?
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 49
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 7:46:09 PM

Mae

You have a man that doesn't want sex from you, just friendship. How rare is that, or is he hoping for it eventually. Is he gay?? They make great friends.


... No, I went out with him on and off for period of maybe six months, and I think after the first couple of times it was obvious that we were just going to be friends. My opinion...he was still hung up on his ex wife. He wasn't about to move forward with anyone. But we did share some interesting conversations.

...mae
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 50
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/5/2012 7:47:10 PM

All they want to do is talk sex in my experience, within the first few sentences.


This has absolutely NOT been my experience.

Don't get me wrong: I have heard from my share of gentlemen whose profile photos reflect their great passion for such things as motorcycles and hunting. And my share of gentlemen who are "trying to quit smoking" and/or list their clearly morbidly obese body types as "average." Even though all of the above are clearly noted in my own profile as being among my "disinterested" criteria.

And looking back, I do recall that when my profile first appeared several years ago with no age restrictions, a few e-mails arrived which um, well, EXPANDED my "acronym awareness": since this time I now know the meaning of MILF. (Previous to this point in time, I'd always assumed it was a typo for milk:) However, thanks to the "restrictions" on this site, which allow any profilee to add upper and lower age limits, my own profile now declines to receive messages from any men young enough to be my children. Since this feature appeared on my profile, I have received zero ungentlemanly e-mails and been subjected to absolutely no "sex talk. . . within the first few sentences" of any connection whether it be e-mail or subsequent phone conversation .

And no: I am neither related to POF's ownership nor feeling compelled to rise to the defense of the men on POF. I am simply stating: this has not been my experience as a member of the 45+ group on this site. On the contrary -- lack of mutual romantic spark notwithstanding --99.% of the communiques I receive and any subsequent conversations via telephone have reflected at the very worst benign but polite conversations and more often than not, courteous, interested and interesting ones:)
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